the sun is out today
a chill october tuesday
breath it in
and for a second i am still
for a second i'm a feather
breath it in
the world can disappears
calm
even in the darkness
the colors are as vibrant as i remember

don't come
stay here
negative tape on repeat
what do you want?
sit in it
the sunlight shines through
surrounding clouds thicken

the power to decide always lay with you
always

am i saying how i really feel?
or what I'm suppose to be feeling?

your mood dictates the day
multiple days
it lingers
muted

likes sought, souls forgot
virtual worth, shallow plot
truth in connections, happiness can be real
likes fade, authenticity's zeal

Fluttering butterfly, delicate and light,
In its grace, victory takes flight.
I reach out, but it slips away,
Defeated, I watch it fade astray.

we live in the little things
its the little things that should bring joy
an unexpected smile, reflected
little things grow deep roots
should
the thrones beneath still linger

I won't ask again
the night sky starts to blend into the daylight
the worlds on the mend
as sirens ring out their own conclusions

no one cares
as much as they try to lie about it

i wont ask again
are we humanity's greatest villian?
with eyes wide open we all lie while smiling
and pick at scabs that's started scarring

this man is playing drums on youtube
RED HOT CHILLI PEPPERS - DANI CALIFORNIA
i'm transfixed
i'm watching a man play drums on youtube
190,000 views since it was uploaded
TODAY?!
this man is playing dumms
he's passionate
making a living
this man is playing drums on youtube
this man is the will never work a day in his life
this man is free

i can dream or wake up if i choose
the chipping paint reveals the past
silence witness to the years gone by way too fast
and as it crumbles memories flash
the echo's fill a room so vast
nostalgic pauses
pretend the present isn't waiting

i'm not ok
even when i tell you i am

i'm not afraid of you
i'm afraid of the truth you keep from me
truth can heal as much as it can destroy
and question everything
it shouldn't be so stressful
it shouldn't be so hard
there is no hiding

you're eyes saw a world your mind could understand
while other ignored
you adored

the odd, the very strange
point, shoot
capture

last supper

did you know how important you were?
do you know how important you are?

the skeletons in my closet laugh at me
they've been there for years
to say they know all my secrets is an understatement
they can destroy me

i can keep them quiet
i've build so many rooms in my mind
some don't even know of the others exist
its a real mess

but sometimes, i visit
to see them makes them real
makes me remember that gut-wrenching
the days of tears that follow

they are my sentence and my salvation
they are the blood in my veins
the thoughts in my mind
they are who i am and who i'll continue to become

where are they
you know the ones
with smiles so tight it causes their face to crack
the pretty-evil
while others walk the razors edge
they've dulled it

ive been trying to **** the fly
the one that bites
the one that leave a mark
that ******

its been an hour
attracted to the glow of the screen
I've yet to end it
I've tried, oh have I tried

there was a night when i was young
where its ancestor woke me
i did not sleep that night of nights
till i killed thy

and here we are once again
A humid springish nighty
twenty twenty three in May
ill let you live tonight

when i was a teenager
i knew i would live forever
now
i sit here writing poetry

i sit here writing poetry

the music
soul speakng
is covered by new bands
covering the classics

covering the classics

reactions to the classics
by uneducated streamers
covering the classics

i can't believe
you confused my caring tenderness
with selfish lies

a memory flooded back to me today
unexpectedly
it was nice
like chicken soup on a chilly day

you know the one

its been fifteen years since we last spoke
our paths just
parted
a shame

was it a shame?

it seems to me our one way street forked at some point
i went left while you, stood, still
you wanted to follow, you told me as much
how long did you stand there?

are you still standing there?

neither of us have much presence online
no way to peak into each others lives
to slide in, to say hello
it must have been for the best

was it?

one day we should meet again
remember the old times
catch up on the the new
as familiar strangers

one day
i wonder how long it will be

i'm about to combine my hobby, passion and career into one
the job that keeps food on my table
my kids table
i'm horrified

I've created a story of perfect colors
but you seem to find the flaw, the cracks

you feel forced sometimes

i can hear a faint alarm in the distance
and a clapping at a wedding by a pool
the faded sound of the moment, fantastic
as airplanes carry humans kissing the night sky

wake me when my time has come
i cannot breath anymore
to take my place among the rest of the clones
wake me when my time has come
i cannot take this anymore
this life i've been dealt hold more pain than has ever before

try to understand
witness the violence
the flow of memories break when the bombs go off
interruptions
forced to grow up quickly
understand where its coming from
its a big deal all the time
shocked and adjust to the changes
what are you looking for

bend
watch them all decay
structured endless shame
it grabs a hold and you cant get away

hate
pretend you have it made
let go of the shame you put up every day
to mask the pain

lie
to better fit you disguise your true life
it seems you're not quite real
and dead inside

fade
you'll never be the same
hold my hand to save yourself
your not quite well, always betrayed

now i see that this place hates despite all my beliefs
even if they're few and far between
existence for me means i'm the one that choses when
pull the trigger, a trigger to an end

my world decides to bend and i will never know if i will ever find myself
its not yet time, but please don't take too long
know that this place has nothing for us
life goes on
life goes on

a truth beyond the start
i know you don't believe in faith anymore
as midnight lights dance
blurry night time photos memorialized
bells are heard calling you home

the distraction isn't working anymore
time fly's when you're having fun
but when minuets feel like hours
the years are an eternity

infinity, scary

i don't like balconies
i'm not depressed but, suicidal, when standing on a balcony
so i step back in
distance helps

but the option remains
among this gleeful group of people
behind an easily slid glass door
and i can see through it

overly gleeful

am i not as good as them at pretending?
another failure for the list
schizophrenic terrorist
they're not pretending

i don't like balconies
i'm not depressed but, suicidal, when standing on a balcony

Title

this permanent scar you've left on my hear
a reminder of mind playing games i've lost

they say to delete social media from our phones
i threw out the phone today
no one needs be reached at all times
i'm free of my leash

virtual world
worth is sold
souls pursues likes
heart grows cold
authenticity fades
masks become norm
connection lost
amidst the swarm

i've never felt hate like this before
id rather be unconscious than all alone
my life is ruled by powers i cannot control
decisions filtered through the minds
that will never know
its painful

hello hannah
a reminder that these dogs of war won't sleep
we wont see eye to eye on this
i get it
why bother blinking when you're know ill be right there at the end of it

hello hannah
we were good once
those days filed with smiles
neglected, forgotten, cast aside
so easy, too easy

hello hannah
till we meet again
ill be right here

i cant seem to get going today
my todo list gradually gets longer
as i sit here and read over it
where do i begin?

i'm still sitting here
staring at the words
but not reading them
my mind isn't anywhere else just, blank

i'm still sitting here
now the list is gone
its been two hours
it'll be two more

soon the day will end
with very little accomplished
ill go to bed
rest is not deserved

this is therapy

bills pile up
accounts are dry
streets keep calling
tents, the new real estate

if you were to meet god
what would be your first question?
akin to when i was just a boy
i only cared to ask
what's your favorite color?

so smile for me
to show me
your happy in your own skin
so smile for me
and i will see
your star shining so brightly
the only thing ill ever need
is your star shine smile for me
and all the rest comes in between
the love that you share with me

we had morning kisses
then they land on your cheek
one quick year later
goodbye morning kisses
how much less can you choose to not give?
the answers may surprise me

who ever said life's not a game
never checked their high score
on life's leaderboard

in loss's shadow
hear whispers of sorrow
love mends hearts
beautiful shattered parts

you've ask me to pray with you
but your god isn't listening
look around
we, make our own fortunes
we, carve our own paths
we, sleep in the beds we've made
we, dig our own graves

i'm worth it more in pieces than i ever was when i was one
a poor excuse for a human being

if you want customer service and a fake smile
go to mcdonalds

our best days are gone
but their echoes still persist
long lost melodies
wrapped in thick layers of mist
as I gaze at my childhood ceiling
where my innocence used to reside
i realize
time moves on , no matter how hard we hide

tonight i feel like celebrating
i feel like letting down my guard
if only for a little while
...
that was fast

a dim lit haze where shadows play
moonlight whispers memories away
in smoky air dreams of yesteryears
linger
silent footsteps
lead hearts to home
this city's a ghost of love's refrain
lost the rhythm of the midnight train
beneath the stars secrets unfold,
embers of romantics fill the night's cold stranglehold
melodies float in darkened skies,
the dance of lonely hearts none too wise
lights flicker like distant dreams
conversations drift on silent streams
in corner booths, shadows dine
glasses toast to borrowed time