Do you envision,
That I wanted it this way?
That I simply awoke,
And chose to be this way?
To feel lost, broken,
And utterly alone?
To feel the sadness and loneliness,
Cutting to the bone?
To be sad and depressed,
And not know the reason why?
To feel useless,
and wishing to die?
To feel guilty,
For things,
I can never atone?
Or starting to cry,
Never knowing,
The reason why?
Perhaps it's true,
You really do.
Think,
This is what,
I want to do.
To be afraid,
To talk on a phone?
Or to enter a room,
When others are there?
Or to doubt,
Each and every move,
Now that,
Really makes you feel smooth.
And never be sure,
Exactly what to do?
Afraid to tell you,
Just how I really feel?
Or afraid,
Of how someone else might feel?
Or,
Maybe,
I closed my eyes,
Hoping I could dream,
Something simply awful,
So I could awaken with a scream.
Yep,
That's exactly what I did.
I planned .
To this way be.
I wouldn't have it,
Any other way.
This,
Or any other day.
Just so I could drive,
All my friends away?
Isn't that,
What you see?
Do you really think,
I wished it,
For me,
To be?
This way?
Sure...
I wished it to be.
Not,,
If only you could see,
What it's really like,
To be inside of me.
And viewing the world,
Through my eyes,
And see how things look to me.
By : coleman