I wonder why I kept the letters all this time.
Maybe I was hoping he would come back the more I read it.
That he would just appear out of nowhere.
But nowhere ever came; no one ever came.
I wonder why I kept the letters all this time
Maybe I was hoping it would help my tears go away.
It didn't; it never does.
He will never find me the same again.

I'm falling hard for a broken girl.
Her smile is a mess,
She never saw love before.
I tried to tell her that I love her,
She didn't believe me because I didn't have battle scars.
I love a broken girl.

I loved a boy,
I thought he loved me too.
He was the man of my dreams until I woke up to see it was someone else.
I loved a boy,
He never truly felt the same.
I thought maybe it was all in my head until I opened my eyes.
He was in love with a girl,
That is a thing I will never be.

I told her I love you all over again.
She said I loved you then.
My heart broke,
Who knew adding one letter to a word could cause such pain.
I said my love won't fade,
She said mine already did.
I told her I love you,
She said my love turned to loved the day you left.

The world just paused,
Everything went quite.
Nothing looked the same as the moment before.
All of a sudden I hear the words that bring me back for a second.
I want to break up with you.
The pieces are falling once again,
Will the world ever stay moving or will I be stuck in this time loop for ever.

Days like this I don’t want to forget.
I will miss the laughs and walking down empty fields.
The smiles that could light up a dark sky.
I wish I could freeze today and replay until It comes true again.
I’m going to miss you when this is over.
When this ends up just being a memory

He is my movie, my book, my music.
The entertainment keeps me distracted when I wish upon it the most.
He makes me feel loved for all parts of myself, even those people who told me I should change.
When I say I feel safe with him, he makes me feel ways that I haven't felt in a long time.
He brings back memories that I have forgotten existed.
He is everything I dreamed of, and when I say I love him, I mean I will fight for him no matter what.
We are not perfect, but he is ideal for me.

He said I look pretty. That I'm his number one.
She told me that I'm lying and no one really cares about me.
He said I'm amazing and that I deserve
The world.
She told me I should leave the world, I almost did twice because of her.
He gave a me a pill and never felt better.
She gave me a knife and I never felt worse.
He made me feel unstoppable,
She stopped me in seconds.
He helped me get out of bed,
She chained me to it.
He gave me too many ideas but she didnt give me enough.
He was too good and it something felt off.
She was the devil running around my head.
He was my best friend but only vistited me once while.
She was my worst enemy but came too often.

If she meant nothing, then why are you with her right now?
Were all the words told from your mouth just lies engraved in a loop to every girl you ever loved?
I thought you meant it until the truth started sneaking out slowly after a glass or two.
If she meant nothing, then why did you choose her over me?
Were all the memories made up in my head in the end?
I’m trying hard not to be mad because, in the end, you played me better than anyone ever will.

I still get nervous like the first time when I saw the word read on my messages.
Wondering if this would be first of many times you wouldnt care what I say.
Won't want to know more and wonder when I will move on.
I'm sorry because I want to tell you all about my life.
About little details that probably make you think about something else.
The more you get to know me the easier it will be to understand.
That I get attached too fast and get send too many text to get your attention.
The attention you don't want me to have.

I wish I could write without him on my mind.
Before he controlled my memories and made me forget my weaknesses.
I wish I could write without having to think,
How it used to be before I was in love,
Before I let him get inside my walls.
I wish I could write my sadness Away without having to stop.

Nothing.
Thats what I thought I had before.
Sadly I had pain and sadness instead. I used to wish for the feeling of nothing to get a break from the screaming in my head.
The screaming of seeing pictures of horror and finally the sense of freedom when it would stop.
The screaming only got stronger when it knew it could control me.
I would fight hard, but nothing could have saved me from the darkness.
Finally, a fairy came to me said, close your eyes and count to three.
I opened it and finally, I was back in bed where this all became.
I learned not to go into battle alone.
I still get the nightmares of that day.

I won at last.
In a week, my past is gone.
I get to start over finally,
I will smile bigger than ever.
I will cry from happiness,
And smile until the sun goes down.
In a week, I will be me more than ever.

I can't believe I let this happen again.
She wasn't there for me for a while but I picked up the phone the second she called.
I listen to all her issues trying to make her feel better.
I wonder why I am doing this as if she would do the same for me but I'm not sure anymore.
I can't believe I fell for her looks.
The pretty girl who everyone likes came over to me and everything started to spiral.
I did everything for her and I mean everything.
After it was all done then she dropped me as if I was nothing.
But once I was her everything and I wondered how that all changed so fast.
So of course when she called I had to pick up.
I had to be there for her.

I smile.
Does he notice how nervous I am?
My voice is shaking,
I’m starting to sweat.
He looks back at me and waves.
I start to blush,
I hope this isn't the end.

I know what she said.
I could see it in her eyes, and I know she meant it.
Trust me.
I won't hurt you.
I will never leave.
I've been through it all before.
I lost my love to a dark battle,
I never them the same Again.
I saw the blood in there eyes,
When they looked at me.
The thought of Betrayal hits me every day.
I wonder would it be better if I never came back?

Maybe In another world, she would be in my arms.
Her head would be on my chest while We talk about our future together.
In another world, she'd live in the same city as me.
I may love others but she will Be my first real love.
The one I will tell stories about to my friends.
I watch her get hurt by other guys while I am still across the world watching through a screen.
Maybe in another world, she would be my person.
She is my protonic soulmate in my eyes

I think of him.
Waiting for a second chance to prove I wasn't a waste of memories.
I close my eyes hoping to run into him.
All I hear is it's time for me to go.
My heart Shutters all over again.
I think of him before feeling kicks in.
Before everything changed.

A son of a cheater,
I saw them all get played.
He used the same moves on the poor women entering his life.
First, gain their trust, then play mind games that way; he’s never in the wrong.
Second, give them what they want, then slowly take it away without noticing.
Third, degrade them but not enough that they will leave on their own,
Enough that they will stay begging for more.
A son of a cheater,
Learn how to cause pain like a hurricane.

The sky is split between light and darkness.
Looks like the night I can't forget about.
Cries that were louder than the noise in my head.
It's been eight and half months.
Now the tears remind of strength of a day that could of ended way worse.

Stay where you are.
Don't move, or everything will go up in flames.
I wait another minute, hoping this nightmare will go away.
Nothing has changed besides the laughs that turned into wines.
No one knows if we will get out.
Stay where you are, or be ready to fight something you can't see.

When love comes to my door.
Would I let him in or turn his body away so I can’t be broken later.
He stands a few feet away with a smile and open arms.
I want him to come closer to hold my body.
I’m nervous about giving someone my young heart to keep in this hand.
When he comes knocking on my door I will give my love in return for his.

The boy who is closed off,
But comes running the second you text him.
He will be there,
You won't see him entering.
The goofy laugh he gives will shine in a darkened room.
He is closed but will let you in slowly.

I want to stop fighting and start living.
I think I found my source of hope.
I saw her smile from across the keyboard.
The little light in her eyes are giving the hope I need.
Please let this be true.

I write words that can’t find a way out
I leave a message for those that can’t hear me.
I write a part of me that doesn’t want to come out.
My pen has a light for when my heart doesn’t.
Poetry saved me once, and I need it too again.

We weren’t perfect; I knew that.
I loved as much as a broken person could.
Trying to change the stories to make me look bad.
I almost trusted those stories more,
Because he told them all the time.
I never will go back to that,
I know my worth, and one will take that.
No matter how pretty they seem to the outside world.

I'm falling hard,
I hope he is there to catch me.
He leaves me speechless,
My heart starts to race.
My smile can't hide when he's in the room.
I feel like I'm dreaming when he looks over.
If this falling I hope I never stop.

I'm still mad.
I wanted you to call me your son.
I was hoping you would finally come around.
I thought I would be the son you always wanted.
Instead, you call me your daughter when I'm not that anymore.
How can you not see how much you have hurt me?
Why can't I be good enough to be loved for being myself?
You said you love all your children, But does that include me?

Trust me,
The only words he said.
I node not sure how to respond.
All my words slowly disappeared without a trace.

I watch you love her from the sidelines.
Waiting for my chance to come over and stop it all.
Nothing ever comes out of my mouth in time.
She leans over to kiss him while I'm trying not to cry.
She doesn't know how much I'm dying standing here.
I pick up a piece of paper hoping this will be my last time begging for someone
To notice me.
The visions in my head get stronger and my heart gets smaller.
The fear grows while the strength not to listen becomes more hopeless.

Her body was used as charity.
They used her heart up until there was no more love to have.
The arms were used to as an extra hand to do the work no else dared to do.
Her mouth was only there to agree with those who hated hearing no.
They used the feet to walk all the miles everyone dreaded to even think about.
Her body was used as a overwork Machine that no dared to stop after it was finished with the Days work.
No one even thanked her all they did was tell what was next.

Will this be my fairy tale?
I hold on tight to the slight hope that lingers.
When he says goodbye, I wonder if this time he means forever.
I wonder if this will be my fairy tale or the start of my never-ending heart break.
Will all his love give me enough trust not to be worried for the future?
It's not his fault that he picked a damaged heart to love.

I miss it all.
The hellos the goodbyes.
I miss
Him saying I will never leave you that turned into please don’t call me again.
I miss hearing his voice.
I wish this was a nightmare that I could wake up from.
I miss him.

I loved him I really did,
I thought what he showed me was everything I ever needed.
Until I opened my eyes and was back in reality,
Begging for a text back, but it never came.
I made excuses for him thinking it would change when summer hit.
I loved him I really did,
Hoping one day, he would turn into my perfect man.
I wished I never went back to reality because now I’m heartbroken.
Now I want to start all over with someone new.
I loved him until I saw how much I really meant to him.
How could he love me when he acted this way?

a girl stayed home waiting for a person that didn't show.
He went out and forgot she even existed.
She was known as the girl who Wasted another night, while he had unforgettable moments.

I didn't think it would be so easy to release you from my memories.
All it took was deleting a photo and everything else disappeared.

I love you.
I often said the words, but I still got the same nervousness as the first time.
Wondering if one day the word will mean something, Different then, I see your life mixed in with mine.
If this were a book, I would read it every night until all the words were memorized front to back.
I hope this is my last beginning to a forever person.
I love you until I find a word only meant for us.

Sometimes I feel unheard,
That my life doesn’t matter as much.
I look around the room and wonder if anyone feels the same.
I’m afraid to ask the question out loud, not wanting to get all the looks of Judgment
I go home and cry in my bed wondering if I made the right choice of making it to twenty three.
How can I keep on going with all this pain?
Why can’t I just say goodbye for one last time?
I tell myself that I can't leave her behind without a brother.

I want to look her in the eye and ask why we aren't together?
I have seen the way she looks at me when she thinks I'm not looking.
When the night gets cold and she asked me for my sweater without thinking.
How we are there for each other no matter what time is it.
Waking up in the middle of night to dream of the other.
I will ask her what she is afraid of.
To let her know that no matter what I will be here.

I'm falling more each day, wishing I would stop.
I know love comes with battles,
That leaves scars Instead of kisses.
I grow up dreading love knowing how it can break someone.
I never want to heart fall in love because that turns into hate.
Should I put back up my walls before it's too late?

I want to trust him,
I want to let my guard down.
He can't hurt me if I don't let him in.
I don't want to loose him due to my fear of the past.
I know I'm overthinking ,the first time I went in with hope is the time I got hurt the worse.
I told my self I would never give anyone trust again.

I don't know what to say because I keep going blank.
I hear your name and I start to blush.
I wonder if it will ever stop.
I'm not sure what to say or where to go but I know I will always find you.

I wish I could control it.
Not wanting to cry over the little things hoping it will go away.
When will it stop telling me things on repeat.
I tried to listen to the good in life but it's hard when the darkness is screaming in your ears.
Not wanting to burden anyone with my issues but trying to tell the truth at the same time.
Everyone telling me it will be ok and we aren't leaving.
How can I believe all the words when my mind wants to say the opposite.
Do I believe them or my broken mind.
Maybe I don't want to believe it's broken.
Maybe one day my pills will stop this all.
Or maybe I can stop it all.

I wish I could be freed from this world.
That one day I won't be in pain with my own mind.
Maybe I will be able to find someone that loves me for me.
Not having to beg to be heard.
I wish I could be gone sometimes to make my mind shut up.
But it will be easier in the end.

It feels like a dream maybe too good to last.
Maybe too good to be true.
I sit back and relax not sure what is going to happen next.
I roll down my window and I finally understand what being peaceful means.
I thought it meant when im sitting next to you and you give me that look.
That says nothing bad is ever going to happen to you.
But I'm alone and I feel better than ever.
I hope this isn't a dream.
If this has to be I hope I never wake up unless you're next to me.

The day he almost died.
The pill bottles look too pleasing to be alone.
He decide to hold them one more time.
Wondering if it’s worth lasting until tomorrow.
He put them down as the pills screamed to be picked up again.
Next year it happened again.
This time the voices came from a dangerous blade.
He was so close but too afraid of leaving everyone alone.
So he stayed another night.

I gave her my heart over and over.
Hoping that nothing bad would happen.
Not thinking of how everything can go away in seconds.
My heart was pulled out my chest and stepped on with no regret.
I gave her my heart over and over,
Hoping it would be my last time.
Not knowing my heart would be damaged for ever.

I tried coffee again after a long time.
It wasn’t that I didn’t like it was all the memores wrapped up in one cup.
She drank it every morning and kissed me goodbye.
The taste still on my lips and the caffeine running into my vines.
Wishing for more coffee just to remind myself of her.
I tried coffee again but this time it was different.
No more rushing feelings just plain old taste in my mouth.
I wonder if the taste ever reminds her of mornings with me.
Of what life could have been if she didn’t leave.

I wonder how he got away.
How the mystery was never solved.
Maybe everyone lied to cover this track with ****** money.
I wonder how he got away with breaking my heart.
He said he loved me a million times but ever thought he didn’t mean it.
Until the last day that changed everything.
He looked in my the face and smiled with all this teeth.
I love you for the rest of my life.
Then he left and no one has seen him since.

I wish my life was a fairy tale so you would be right next to me.
I wish my life was a fairy tale so I could finally have a princess sitting next to me.
I wish my life was a fairy tale,
Then maybe all the bad would disappear.
Disappear from everything that made me wish for a different life.
I wish my life was a fairy tale so then everything could be happiely ever after once again