He said I look pretty. That I'm his number one.
She told me that I'm lying and no one really cares about me.
He said I'm amazing and that I deserve
The world.
She told me I should leave the world, I almost did twice because of her.
He gave a me a pill and never felt better.
She gave me a knife and I never felt worse.
He made me feel unstoppable,
She stopped me in seconds.
He helped me get out of bed,
She chained me to it.
He gave me too many ideas but she didnt give me enough.
He was too good and it something felt off.
She was the devil running around my head.
He was my best friend but only vistited me once while.
She was my worst enemy but came too often.

I give up.
I'm done trying to make you happy.
I hope you know.
I don't understand why I want your approval.
For once, I want you to call me your son.
Why do I waste my tears on you?
I thought maybe you would reach out.
If you asked me why I'm doing this, I would tell my story.
I would say I don't like my chest,
that I hated looking in the mirror.
The goal was not to destroy the little relationship I still had with you.

She a broken book,
Pages falling out everywhere.
No one takes the time to help put her back together.
She's a broken book,
Hoping to be given one more chance.

I won't ever beg him to stay,
The day I need to his love will already be too far gone.

What if she leaves again?
I'm not ready to say goodbye.
My heart will tear into it, but maybe that's for the better.
Maybe it wasn't meant to be in the end.
What if she never wanted me?

We weren’t perfect; I knew that.
I loved as much as a broken person could.
Trying to change the stories to make me look bad.
I almost trusted those stories more,
Because he told them all the time.
I never will go back to that,
I know my worth, and one will take that.
No matter how pretty they seem to the outside world.

a girl stayed home waiting for a person that didn't show.
He went out and forgot she even existed.
She was known as the girl who Wasted another night, while he had unforgettable moments.

I fear for the day the text stops coming in.
I hope you say goodbye this time or maybe it's a see you later.
Maybe it's a replay of the last time you thought I stopped caring.
Trust me, I will never stop caring for you.
No matter the days or months that go by.
I will never stop checking my phone, hoping to miss a message.
Even if it just says I need time away.
Then I shall wait until you're ready to return to the phone.

I want to stop fighting and start living.
I think I found my source of hope.
I saw her smile from across the keyboard.
The little light in her eyes are giving the hope I need.
Please let this be true.

Maybe In another world, she would be in my arms.
Her head would be on my chest while We talk about our future together.
In another world, she'd live in the same city as me.
I may love others but she will Be my first real love.
The one I will tell stories about to my friends.
I watch her get hurt by other guys while I am still across the world watching through a screen.
Maybe in another world, she would be my person.
She is my protonic soulmate in my eyes

It feels like a dream maybe too good to last.
Maybe too good to be true.
I sit back and relax not sure what is going to happen next.
I roll down my window and I finally understand what being peaceful means.
I thought it meant when im sitting next to you and you give me that look.
That says nothing bad is ever going to happen to you.
But I'm alone and I feel better than ever.
I hope this isn't a dream.
If this has to be I hope I never wake up unless you're next to me.

Will you be there for me,
When it’s crazy, and there is no stopping anytime soon.
If I have to leave in the middle of a dreamy day.
Will you fight for me when it seems too hard to do.
Would you sit by my door,
When it seems easier to go than stay?
Would you love me even if it’s easier not to?

Why did I give my heart away?
I thought this time it would be a different story to tell.
The type that ends with smiles instead of tears.
The one where everyone wins,
but this isn't that type of story.
Instead, one person lost all their heart and gained broken trust.
I gave my heart away, hoping for a different type of ending.

I fall in love a little too fast.
My heart gets broken a little too much.
I will not regret those memories.
I fall too hard,
And smile too big about it.

The voice was sugar to my ears.
It taught me strength when he didn't want to.
It was there for me when she wouldn't be.
I learned hope from it,
When hopeless were all, I knew.

I wonder how everything is meant to be.
If I gave her five more minutes maybe she would still in my arms.
Maybe she would have been my last kiss and it could have lasted forever.
I thought she was the one for me.
Some days I even counted how long until we saw each other again.
The answer was it was always too long but I know she was the one.
I don't know if she agrees but my heart is broken into pieces waiting to be glued back together.
She is the only one with the right glue.
Maybe my heart will always be broken.
Maybe I lost the love of my life forever.

My life feels like a game,
Right now, I'm losing.
Wondering how many more tries I have.
Will this be my legacy?
The words all spilling out,
With no eyes to see it.
My life feels like a losing game
No matter how hard I try,
I can't leave this behind.
How do I get out of this alive?

I miss the words we used to sing together,
Saying that we would be together for ever.
Now my head is spinning every time I look at you.
I try to take a grip but now my hands are slipping. Trying to stay standing not wanting to fall a second time.

Her voice sounds like I'm finally home.
The way I feel myself is a gift I don't want to lose.
I'm falling for a girl that doesn't know my whole story.
I wish I could give her all my dreams.
The way I don't want to lose you is hurting my soul.
I wish I didn't want you like this.

This wasn't goodbye,
This was a constant reminder that it was in control.
That it can pull me back anytime, anywhere.
I asked to be set free but instead, I cry my mind blank.
Waiting to go numb.
This wasn't goodbye,
Only the reminder that the will always follow me.

I wish I could control it.
Not wanting to cry over the little things hoping it will go away.
When will it stop telling me things on repeat.
I tried to listen to the good in life but it's hard when the darkness is screaming in your ears.
Not wanting to burden anyone with my issues but trying to tell the truth at the same time.
Everyone telling me it will be ok and we aren't leaving.
How can I believe all the words when my mind wants to say the opposite.
Do I believe them or my broken mind.
Maybe I don't want to believe it's broken.
Maybe one day my pills will stop this all.
Or maybe I can stop it all.

If my life was a fairy tale she would still be in my arms.
If I truly loved her,
I would be happy that she found happiness after all the pain.
If there was more time I would try again.
I’m stuck in a nightmare,
Seeing her fall for the man I should of been

What if it was my sister?
My best friend?
The day you died, my heart turned up aside down.
I couldn't think of you for two years without crying.
There were many days I had to stop myself from visiting.
What if it was me?
Would people finally care that one of us was gone?
I told my self when it snowed, it was you saying hi to stop myself from breaking down.
What about all the memories?
The stories that we had together.
No one will meet you again.
I wish it could have been me, not you.
I wish it were all a bad dream.
I wish I didn't miss you.
I wish I could have gone with you.

Around and around we go again.
Feeling too low to even breathe.
Begging for the day that forever will Finley end?
Hoping my pain won't be here tomorrow.
Around and around we go again.
I scream in my mind thinking someone will hear my cries.
No one comes because it's all in my head
Around and around we go again.

I can't believe I let this happen again.
She wasn't there for me for a while but I picked up the phone the second she called.
I listen to all her issues trying to make her feel better.
I wonder why I am doing this as if she would do the same for me but I'm not sure anymore.
I can't believe I fell for her looks.
The pretty girl who everyone likes came over to me and everything started to spiral.
I did everything for her and I mean everything.
After it was all done then she dropped me as if I was nothing.
But once I was her everything and I wondered how that all changed so fast.
So of course when she called I had to pick up.
I had to be there for her.

Will this be my fairy tale?
I hold on tight to the slight hope that lingers.
When he says goodbye, I wonder if this time he means forever.
I wonder if this will be my fairy tale or the start of my never-ending heart break.
Will all his love give me enough trust not to be worried for the future?
It's not his fault that he picked a damaged heart to love.

I won't be mad that you left.
I knew this day would come even thought you told me it wouldn't.
I believed almost every word that came out of your mouth.
That I would be your number one.
That no one could take my place.
Look how wrong I was because I'm crying at my keyboard wonder where I went wrong.
In the back of my mind this is a nightmare that should have came sooner.
I'm afraid to open my eyes knowing this is real life.
Knowing that I lost my other half to someone else.
I'm not mad that you are leaving.
I'm mad that I Believed you would stay.

I'm falling hard for a broken girl.
Her smile is a mess,
She never saw love before.
I tried to tell her that I love her,
She didn't believe me because I didn't have battle scars.
I love a broken girl.

I was afraid to be myself Until I met her.
I never feel judged.
My face blushes,
When I see her name on my screen.
Staying up late just to send one more text.
In the end, its worth losing sleep

I write words that can’t find a way out
I leave a message for those that can’t hear me.
I write a part of me that doesn’t want to come out.
My pen has a light for when my heart doesn’t.
Poetry saved me once, and I need it too again.

Was she nothing to him?
Were all the memories are thrown out the second he found someone prettier?
I remember the way he to look at her like she was the only person who mattered.
She was his world,
Now it's almost as if she ever even existed.

Hi! Isn't today a great day!
Hi.. please dont see behind my fake smile.
I have these ideas that I can't wait to do.
Don’t give in, try to hold a little longer.
I’m going to take over the world soon, I just know it.
Well I see next week?
No need for sleep,there is so much to do.
I slept 15 hours and I just want to go back to bed.
Will this last forever?
Will this last forever?

I missed you.
Then all the memories came rushing through my head.
I realized I only missed the thought of you.
When you came back all the hate I forgot about was there again.
I missed you.
Then I remember how much pain you leave behind.
I realized I only wanted what I didn't have.

Give me a reason for staying.
Give me a reason to love you anymore.
I'm tired of not getting anything in return and waiting by the phone for a single text that never comes.
I wait and wait for someone to care about me but everyone passes by.
No one stops to say hello.
No one even says goodbye after breaking me.
Give me a reason to love anymore.
I can't do this anymore,
Please I'm tired.
I'm tired of missing someone that I can't have.

I didn't think it would be so easy to release you from my memories.
All it took was deleting a photo and everything else disappeared.

I don't want to hide this feeling anymore.
Wishing to pause time to stay in this spot forever, Until I decided I was ready to make a new moment together.
I want to scream this out loud, let the world know I'm badly in love.
Or maybe I love the feeling of being loved.

Nothing.
Thats what I thought I had before.
Sadly I had pain and sadness instead. I used to wish for the feeling of nothing to get a break from the screaming in my head.
The screaming of seeing pictures of horror and finally the sense of freedom when it would stop.
The screaming only got stronger when it knew it could control me.
I would fight hard, but nothing could have saved me from the darkness.
Finally, a fairy came to me said, close your eyes and count to three.
I opened it and finally, I was back in bed where this all became.
I learned not to go into battle alone.
I still get the nightmares of that day.

The cloudy sky started to crying,
That's when everything around went silent.
I looked for someone, but there was no one near to hear my screams.
The sky started to get darker than it ever had before.
I tried running,
I wasn't fast enough.
The clouds changed to bright red. I knew this meant game over.
Then out of nowhere, everything went back to normal.
My mind was seeing the future all over again.

Scared to ruin the friendship,
She hid her feelings as far down as they would go.
Not wanting to admit that the feelings never left.
Slowly making her crazy that they weren't together.
Not wanting to bring it up,
Smiling through the pain of seeing him with someone else.

One day it will all make sense.
For now, we stay wishing for the day to come sooner.

I'm falling more each day, wishing I would stop.
I know love comes with battles,
That leaves scars Instead of kisses.
I grow up dreading love knowing how it can break someone.
I never want to heart fall in love because that turns into hate.
Should I put back up my walls before it's too late?

I still get nervous like the first time when I saw the word read on my messages.
Wondering if this would be first of many times you wouldnt care what I say.
Won't want to know more and wonder when I will move on.
I'm sorry because I want to tell you all about my life.
About little details that probably make you think about something else.
The more you get to know me the easier it will be to understand.
That I get attached too fast and get send too many text to get your attention.
The attention you don't want me to have.

I wish I could be freed from this world.
That one day I won't be in pain with my own mind.
Maybe I will be able to find someone that loves me for me.
Not having to beg to be heard.
I wish I could be gone sometimes to make my mind shut up.
But it will be easier in the end.

I didn't want my secret to come out.
The world doesn't understand me like you do.
The secrets hide under layers, wondering if anyone notices.
Notices the scars made out of hopelessness.
Would you leave me if you saw the truth under the lies?
The lying of saying I'm doing better but drowning in my tears.
I don't want my secret to come out because I can't lose you now.

How do you like someone like me?
Too scared to tell the truth, afraid of getting yelled at.
I was hoping that you won't leave me after learning the truth about me.
I like you just too scared to get rejected again.

I want to trust him,
I want to let my guard down.
He can't hurt me if I don't let him in.
I don't want to loose him due to my fear of the past.
I know I'm overthinking ,the first time I went in with hope is the time I got hurt the worse.
I told my self I would never give anyone trust again.

Help me
The noises are getting too loud to escape.
Each is telling me to do a crime that I don’t want to comment on.
I swear I’m not a bad person.
Who will Believe the me?
It’s not as bad as it sounds.
I’m only sick, not dangerous.

I didn’t know how broken I was until I got better.
The battle was hard but being broken is worse.
Seeing my family scared when they see me is painful.
The thought of losing you is worse.

Leave me for a girl.
Our friendship can wait,
I'm too broken to leave.
Promise me It's worth all this pain.
Go, it’s ok.

Tell me the truth
Do you find me cute?
I find the way you write beautifully.
Your poems are like magic to my eyes.
This all started with a simple hey.