I was angry, I needed someone to take the fall for my insecurities,
Unable to hide behind the naked truth, that it wasn’t you who made me feel this way, but I,
I needed a scapegoat for this emotional cycle that has been tormenting me for years,
“Is he cheating on me?”
“Is he attracted to her?”
All of these questions stemming from my poor decisions and bad relationships,
I had to put the blame on you in order for me not to feel the poison that has been slowly killing me,
Every time I looked in the mirror, I saw each woman,
Her eyes, her face, her nose, her lips, smiling back at me, laughing at my brokenness, 
Mocking the fact that he chose her over me, 
I hated myself for being too weak to leave when I had the chance,
I punished myself each day I stayed and welcomed those infidelities and betrayals, 
But now I have you, an innocent bystander, 
Struck by my emotional bullets of distrust, paranoia, and bitterness,
I watch through my rearview mirror of pain, as you lay there slowly bleeding out, 
Calling for help, but no one will come to save you, 
I drive off, adrenaline coursing through my veins,
Unable to shake the fact that I put a hit out on your heart, 
Every shot fired screaming at you for what he did, 
I’m scared because those bullets of bad decisions, regret, and hurt were not meant for you, but for him, 
You were in the wrong place at the right time, but unfortunately time wasn’t on your side,
I’m on the run now, evading the imprisonment that is waiting for me, 
Afraid to pull over and turn myself in for this horrible crime against you, 
There were no witnesses to identify what I had done to you, 
Only you would be able to point me out in the line up of broken women, 
Women who’ve stayed one second, one minute, one hour and one day too long in bad relationships, 
Sadly, you were the one put on trial and found guilty for other men’s crimes, 
Sentenced to a lifetime of fixing mistakes, reassuring insecurities, and building back walls of trust, 
But, it’s too late for you, you’ve been thrown into an empty cell,
With nothing but bad memories, unanswered questions, and regret from every broken heart you couldn’t repair, 
And now your innocence has become my guilt

What does excellence look like? I’m staring at it here today,
Being excellent isn’t just an act, but can be used in what we say,
It’s displayed in our ability to strive for merit in all we do,
It’s shown by pursuing our dreams until they do come true,
It’s not just about good grades, and being the star of the team,
Excellence is guided by our vision, to make our realities seen,
It’s well beyond what’s measured on our standard scale of feat,
Excellence is defined by our persistence even when we face defeat,
It’s shown by how we live our lives, and in the choices that we make,
Excellence is shown in our efforts, and in the risks that we take,
So stay focused on your task, and in everything you will do well,
Not just today, not just tomorrow, but every day you will excel!

What is grief in the moment that you lose someone you love?
You weep all day and night and question God up above,
At first, you don’t accept the fact they left you all alone,
Denying their very absence and that they are truly gone,
Anger becomes your friend and helps you build a wall of pain,
Keeping others out so you can find someone to blame,
Bargaining with God, you plead for Him to let them stay,
Your request remains ungranted, because life doesn’t work this way,
Depression takes your hand and keeps you warm all through the night,
Withdrawing yourself from life, so that the darkness becomes your light,
Months and years go by, and you learn to live without their presence,
And finally one day you come to a point of acceptance.

It's so easy to laugh and point fingers when we ourselves are not in pain,
Often times we turn our backs, when a reward is not the gain,
But aren't we just as guilty, as the ones who commit the crime?,
Turning ourselves into judges suggesting how they'll do their time,
Why aren't we taking a stand when we see others doing wrong?
Instead of encouraging one another, we choose to leave them all alone,
Blaming the victim for their fate, as we are steady led astray,
Turning deaf ears to our brothers, no kind words will we say,
Watching others get in trouble while we just steady pass them by,
Searching for answers to our problems when we are the reason why,
So don't just fall for anything, and decide to do nothing,
Be courageous and speak up, but most of all stand for something!

We hear daily of the tragedies of our youth being slain,

How some turn to suicide to medicate their pain,

But are we taking a stand to intervene with this violence?

Or just turning our heads, choosing to be silent?

How often do we watch them being bullied in school?

The lack of discipline at home, the disregard for the rules,

Our police officers and teachers are made into villains,

Trading discipline and order for guns and killing,

The value of education is being reduced to a sentence,

Prison is the educator; there is no will for repentance,

Social media is being utilized to post videos of brutality,

People laughing and sharing as if it's a normality,

Are we not disgusted by such acts of violence?

No reprimands for abuse, just us choosing to stay silent,

How long will we sit on the sidelines of destruction?

Hoping violence decreases, but not aiding in its reduction,

Instead of condemning our youth for their disobedient ways,

Let’s lead by example in what we do and not say!

We must take a stand and refuse to remain silent,

Let’s join forces with our youth and stand against violence!

Waves wash up against your splendor,

You part the sea not in the way Moses did,
but with a gentle calmness,

Isolation encloses around you like a never-ending shade of blue drawing you further into paradise,

Your destination is near yet seems so far,

The sun’s rays light up the powder blue sky reassuring you of the journey ahead,

In the distance, a silhouette of land appears speckled with different shapes and colors,

Anxious faces peer out over the ledge anticipating the adventures to come,

Slowly you come to a halt, quietly humming as  you open up with a satisfying sigh,

Lines assemble like ants on the ground, gradually exiting in unison,

The cool breeze comforts you as you rest awhile, patiently waiting for the next journey ahead

Leaves slip away from the barren limbs that once held them, echoing a crisp thud as they fall on the ground,

The tree weeps as the cruel air strips away it’s beauty, transforming the light, vibrant splendor to a gravely, dull shade

Beautiful shades of amber, orange, and gold have now browned in a pile at it’s feet,

Insects eat away at the leftovers hidden in the carcass of hollow stumps,

As wildings gather bits of food to ration during the shortage,

Birds begin their journey south, leaving behind empty nests and cracked egg shells,

Streams that once quenched the thirst of it’s inhabitants silently flow in isolation,

The existence of nature now is nothing more than a silhouette

You visit me very often, but each time it’s not the same,
Some days you leave me breathless, other times you cause me pain,
I sit around and wonder what I’ve ever done to you,
To make me feel all alone, and not knowing what to do,
You tell me all of your lies, and watch me shiver from the fear,
And whisper, “You’re going to die” while laughing closely by my ear,
I try to count to ten while beads of sweat drip down my face,
Or take a long, long walk as my mind begins to race,
You never show me mercy, it’s intense each time we meet,
My mouth becomes real dry, and makes it hard for me to speak,
But one day I’m coming for you, you’ll see a different side of me,
And you’ll no longer be known as my anxiety!

What it means to be a Veteran is far beyond what meets the eye,
Soldiers giving up their lives to fight a war for you and I,
What it means to be a Veteran not too many will ever know,
The price they paid with their blood, a debt this country will forever owe,
What it means to be a Veteran, a honorable act of sacrifice,
Trading their shoes for helmets and guns, freedom was the highest price,
What it means to be a Veteran leaving their families all behind,
Fighting daily to keep our country free and safe for all of mankind,
What it means to be a Veteran how they stared death in its face,
Losing companions during the fight, lives that cannot be replaced,  
What it means to be a Veteran terrors of war keeping them awake,
Dodging bullets and enemy fire, praying death was not their fate,
What is means to be a Veteran how the war made some depressed,
Some took their very own lives to finally have some peace and rest,
What it means to be a Veteran some disabled and could not work,
Turning to prescription drugs to fill that void and ease the hurt,
What it means to be a Veteran bruises fade, but scars remain,
Fighting for red, white, and blue, liberty was the ultimate gain,
What it means to be a Veteran is more than just a holiday,
Because they chose to protect and serve we are all here today!

Blank pages mean full minds,
Minds that long to tell stories,
Stories of love, sadness, disappointments and triumphs,
Blank pages mean untold secrets,
Secrets that are hidden behind walls of distrust and agony,
Agony from broken promises that were once welcomed with gentle kisses,
Kisses that were laced with poisoned lips and deceitful tongues,
Blank pages mean guarded hearts,
Hearts that are held captive by fear of being broken,
Now lie shattered on the cold, hard ground,
Blank pages mean silenced voices,
Voices that are screaming to be heard,
Heard by listening ears on familiar faces,
Faces that once hid from ugly truths and beautiful lies,
Blank pages mean nothing unless you are willing to write your story
Stories that have never been told or heard of

As I bask in your rays, beads of perspiration slowly form on my brow,

Your warmth is ever so inviting to my mahogany colored skin,

Digging my toes into the heated sand, I discover the cool earth underneath,

I take slow satisfying sips of tequila spiked lemonade,

Allowing the gentle breeze to caress my sun- kissed face,

You smile as your perfect reflection beams off of the ocean’s mirror,

Dolphins and fish swim freely beneath you, taking in your glory,

Trails of starfish and coral decorate the ocean floor,

Hollow sea shells crunch under care-free children’s feet as they fill empty buckets with water,

The fragrance of salt and seaweed dance in the air,

Intoxicating me with the reality that vacation has begun

The night is dark and still, eerie jack-o’-lanterns illuminate porches of decrepit houses,

Footsteps of mischievous teenagers echo in the distance, seeking the next house to vandalize,

Costumed children parade the streets eager to fill plastic buckets with candy,

As the moon reflects its pale, grim face over the night’s canvas,

A faint howl resurrects other silenced muzzles hidden in the darkness,

Uncertain knocks dance on wooden doors alarming hosts,

“Trick or treat” greets their ears as hands with empty buckets impose on their doorstep,

Handfuls of chocolates, candies and treats now occupy once vacant containers,

Satisfied youth scurry home for baths and bed as porch lights flicker off in unison,

Anticipation of next year’s Halloween night soothes them to sleep as parents kiss them good night.

I’m at war within,
Chaos circles around me,
Daring me to run

My words and thoughts pour out from you,
Carefully displaying my inner true self,

You record my truths unapologetically
Delivering each stroke with purpose,

There are no judgements being cast down,
Your key unlocks my mind from imprisonment,

Exposed and open, I dare not hide my vulnerability,
I’m protected from misconstrued speculations,

Thoughts that were once trapped by other’s misunderstandings,
Now flow freely from your reserve,

New doors open with every detail written,
Empowering me through each deliberate word,

My voice that was once silenced, now screams bravely through you,
Confessing insecurities, desires, and fears,

Our bond has always been unbreakable, you are my deepest reflection,
And we will always remain as one until the ink runs dry.

I often cry myself to sleep allowing my tears to saturate your presence,
Your soft, gentle assurance presses closely against my face,
Collecting my tears one by one, drip by drip, and moan by moan,
Sometimes my angry screams are stifled by your feathered casing,
Capturing those curses meant to reach bending ears,
I hug you ever so tightly, slowly suffocating my fears,
You never put up a fight, allowing my anxiety to melt into your body,
Calmness showers down on me, rocking me to sleep in your gentle arms,
I’m one with you, my dreams seep out through my cold sweat,
Whispering past secrets and future aspirations, that only you know,
Trust is your greatest possession, my words and thoughts are your prisoners,
Your familiar nature seeks no betrayal with me,
And there is nothing more reassuring than you,
my greatest sanctuary

Many nights I've longed for you, desperate tears saturating my pillow,
"Where have you gone?!" I'd cry out, as my heartbeat drummed in my ears,
My broken words falling on deaf ears, overshadowed by the silence succumbing to the darkness,
My cries were gentle, yet sharp, as haunting shadows cast over me foreshadowing lonely nights to come,
If only I could touch your elegant frame, kiss your lovely presence, and bask in your fragrance of eternity,
That beautiful thought crossed my mind many nights, agony ripping through my bleeding heart,
Was it too much to hope for one night with you? Your beautiful, gentle presence possessing my aching heart,
The mere idea of you erasing my sorrows, burning away my doubts of your very existence gave me chills,
But yet, as much as I yearned for you, your presence remained unknown, hidden behind walls of doubt, distrust, and pain,
One day we shall meet, as long as my soul exist in my body, I will wait for you. Wherever you are, I hope you are longing for me, as I am longing for you.

Laying on the table with tear-stained eyes,
My heart beating rapidly, mind full of why's,
I never meant to hurt you, that's what I want to say,
No matter how much I loved you, I knew you couldn't stay,
The choices I have made, led me to this moment,
No one's fault but mine, so this decision I will own it,
Counting back the days, I first knew of your existence,
Fear clouded my mind, this decision I couldn't resist it,
The last moments of your life, now snatched away,
Tears rolling down my eyes, no words are left to say,
In to thin air you vanish, a vapor yet a life,
My mind full of regret, heart beating with strife,
Now the deed is done, hands of time can't be reversed,
Empty womb full of sorrow, crying lips slightly pursed,
I hope to see you one day, so I can let you know,
If I had enough courage, I would have never let you go!

Let love kiss you oh so gently on your bitter lips,
And let it spark a fire that will reach your fingertips.
Let love take possession of your oh so bitter heart,
And leave it's footprints as a path to find when we're apart.

A touch from your finger on the nape of my neck
Sends a spark throughout my body,
My soul lights up in desire, as you whisper sweet melodies in my ear,
My body melts like wax upon the couch in a puddle of lust, fire burns through my heart,
Your hands are hot, smooth to my perspiring body, your love pours all over me,
I faint as our bodies twirl in ecstasy, this is our moment, and nothing can make me go higher,
As I am intertwined with love, fire and desire

Your lovely presence has gone away,
Even though I reminisce,
Starting new days all over again,
Thoughts about you being missed,
Each day is different from you, I
Really can’t compare,
Dreaming of your beautiful essence,
And with the ones I got to share,
Yet, you went away forever never to return again
So farewell to yesterday my dear, beloved friend

Life is but a glimpse,
Of a moment placed in time,
The clock is ticking.

Nothing is something,
Unless you have everything,
Then you have nothing.

I took a deep breath,
And let the oxygen in,
While my fear escaped.

As the summer rain,
Gently knocks on my window,
There you are as well.

Words ran from my lips,
Before I could draw them back,
Regret held my hand.

The truth cut her deep,
Sharper than a two edged sword,
Her heart began to bleed.

Your heart reminds me of winter, the coldest season of the year,
Icicles of emotions form whenever I come near,

Your heart reminds of winter, so cold and very bleak,
Words destructive like an avalanche everytime you speak,

Your heart reminds me of winter, black ice disguised by your smile,
A dangerous territory to uncover, like sharpened glass in a pile,

Your heart reminds me of winter, snowflakes fall but don't remain,
Empty streets of broken hearts, are paved by sleeting sheets of pain,

Your heart reminds me of winter, hailing sadness causing dents,
Shattered windows of broken promises, scattered by your ill-intent,

Your heart reminds me of winter, chilling down to the very bone,
Leaving sickness in my body, the very moment you are gone.

Your sweet nectar is satisfying to my tongue,
Just as bread is fulfilling to the poor,
I breathe in your very presence,
Such a sweet aroma to my nostrils,
You look at me as if for the first time,
Awed and amazed by my beauty,
You reach for my hand, and gently brush my fingertips,
A wave of ecstasy jolts your body, and lights up your soul,
Our past, present, and future unfolds before your eyes,
Love is the seed and our hearts are the soil,
Let it grow and blossom as flowers do in the spring.

Walking into your room that day,
It made my blood turn cold,
You weren't suppose to die yet,
At least not til' you were old,
I didn't want to believe it,
I just hugged you last night,
Who would take care of us now?
And make sure that we're alright,
You just layed there in silence,
You didn't blink or bat an eye,
My hands softly touched your body,
As tears poured from my eyes,
How could you be gone so soon?
And just leave us both behind,
Were you even sad to leave us?
What thoughts ran through your mind?
You were my mom, yet my friend,
Your life was snatched away so quick,
No more pancakes in the morning,
No more hugs when we were sick,
No more dancing in the hallway,
No more sleeping in your bed,
No more polish on your nails,
No more rollers on your head,
No more trips to the laundry mat,
No more helping you fold clothes,
No more combing our pretty hair,
No more making us wear bows,
How could this happen to an angel?
Who was loved and held so dear,
The very absence of your presence,
Makes me wish that you were here,
I know that you were suffering,
And God granted you eternal rest
He returned one of his angels,
Because He always knows what's best.
If I could have another day with you,
I'd cherish that moment til the end,
But for now rest in peace mommy,
And I hope to see you then.

I see you, but I’m unsure if you’re aware,
That same look you’re giving her, was once the same look you gave me,
Your eyes close in on her beauty, captivated by her essence,
You gaze at her for one second too long, and are suddenly caught off guard by my glare,
You pause for a moment, trying to conjur up a clever excuse as to why your eyes were fixated in that direction,
Unsure of your approach, you swiftly turn your head calculating any vantage point you can find,
Hesitating for a brief moment, you pause to gather your thoughts,
Your tongue is heavy, words stuck to the roof of your mouth like sap on a tree,
You take a deep breath, allowing the air to cool your nostrils,
But before your premeditated words can spew out over your lying lips,
They are cut off instantly by my mine,
“She’s beautiful isn’t she?”
Caution warns you to dismiss my statement,
A huge lump forms at the back of your throat, but you’re reluctant to swallow it,
You want to agree with me, but past arguments urge you to tread lightly,
“She’s okay, not better looking than you!”
I laugh, but not in an amusing way,
I’m disgusted by your dishonesty, embodied by cowardice,
You never could be honest with me, as much as you wanted to you just couldn’t,
My eyes search yours with disappointment, but then suddenly I look away,
Your hand reaches for mine, but I angrily ****** it back; hurt, broken, jealous,
Regret sadly escapes your lips, gently brushing my ears,
I revert back to those words you’ve declared to me over the years in my head, but why can’t I believe them right now?
This one critical moment when I need to believe them the most, fall on deaf ears,
Uncertainty showering down on me, drowning my assurance,
And in this moment I realize I’m insecure.