I’m shoving money down the throats of my friends just to keep them on a leash
And I’m actually afraid of going broke because I don’t want to lose my leverage.
I know that’s ******.
But I love them so much.
And they don’t have to care about me,
but I want them around.

Why the **** can’t I be normal
Why the **** can’t I have fun

I feel so ******* isolated when I’m surrounded by my friends.
And I think it’s because my friends show the truth.
They would rather cause drama than talk to me at all.
They would never even be near me if I didn’t buy them concert tickets.

I’m finding comfort in loneliness because there’s no one left to turn away from me.

I want to rip my flesh open and watch my blood spill.
I want to punch his face in until my stomach goes ill.
I want to be able to cry in your arms and tell you what’s wrong.
I want to feel the comfort that I used to feel. The comfort that is gone.
I don’t know why I can’t say the **** that’s going through my head.
My bed feels like a coffin and I feel like the words unsaid.
I think you’re beginning to hate me because i’m always so sad.
But I swear to god i’m trying to fix myself, just please don’t be mad.

Im trying so hard, dear, just try to bear with me
I promise to make it, I just might need you with me

I wish that life was as easy as sipping a raspberry coke,
I wish I could waltz with you in summer.
But weeds trap feet,
And the band starts to freeze,
And your hand starts to slip from mine.
And the coke is a poison,
And the song has a dissonance,
And I'm left lying in bed alone.

I wish life was as easy as sipping raspberry coke,
I wish I could waltz with you in summer.
But something about a sweetness in 3/4 time,
makes me think you're too good to be true.

Is it that I scare you?
Is my judgment too sharp?
I know It sounds stupid to be upset about,
but this is the second time it has happened.
The second time that someone I love has been in fear of my judgment.
I do my best to tell you how much you mean to me.
I to my best to create a safe space for you to come and hide in.
But no.
It’s fine.
I’m over reacting.
I can learn to cope with the fact that I scare the ones I love.
I just wish I could hear a loved one sing once.