What can I say? What can I do ? Am I ignorant? Or am I confident? Am i a snitch or am I doing the right thing ? Am I telling the truth or am I being rude? I stand by and watch them do things they know that’s wrong.
My count abilities are more than the stars I can count. Thought I wish they were as pretty as the night stars though my wishful thinking’s are like dust in the wind.
Master say perception is reality. Though how can you assume And not ask? How is his heart so selfish to judge not knowing? How is his heart so selfish to disappoint and not make them proud.
I look up to those who lead for guidance though how can I when master can’t separate from right to wrong?
It was said “ to be a leader you must be to follow” how am I to follow thee when thee can’t follow? How is the sea an ocean without water? How is the beach there without the shore and sands?
What can I do?  Will you judge me? Hate me? And criticize me for questioning those who disappoint? Am i ignorant? Or is their work a waste?

I looked across beneath the tree
personalities ly on the pastures green
Flickering red hang from the tree
Mad at God for how it fell
I told my wrath what a poet
They fell on grass that didn't ly
Bore apples rote in pain
Poring tears, seedlings grew
Lighting flickers personalities grew
though my foe was my blood
My foe stretched beneath the tree
Turned around and made me bleed
I fell far from the tree

At the end of my day
as I drift off to sleep
an image of you
in my head starts to creep of a smile at a fair
sunset near a shore
a kiss in the dark as my lips beg for more
of days that go past where I can't touch your hand
of those moments so dull
ones I can't stand
when I am not near enough just to see how you look
through my eyes where I want you to be
for if I had my way at least once every day  I could kiss you
and touch you and hold you and say
" How hard it must be for the stars in the sky to gaze down on earth
how it must make them sigh to see you down there so far away
They know just how I feel at the end of the day." Sweet dreams

I ran pass a place before dawn...
A place in the back of my head like a Width of memory blowing in the wind like a rotten leaf
A leaf that sadly fallen from autumn tree
A lead once was on a tree branch knowing eventually it will fall
A leaf that wish it can say “thank you next” like a song in the breeze
Though it brings nothing but “photograph” of seasons
Seasons of tears that leaves nothing but sad memories
A leaf that sits in a shower if rain to hide it’s painful tears
A leaf that has fallen down stream
A stream of photographs
Photographs which was taken in good intentions
Photographs of first sprouts
Photographs of buds that bloom in spring
Photographs of blossoms that fruits as bees buzz
Photographs that leaves you nothing
Nothing but a stream of pain
A stream that hurts to swim in
A stream that once tore you apart
A stream that is now nothing but a rotten leaf in the wind that blows in the back of my mind.

My heart shiver,
It shatters pieces of glasses that I cannot glue together. The petals on the red rose falls one by one for every battle I fight
Puddle of blood splashed as the petals fall
Sergeant said “ battle field is not always on a battle field but also within yourself”
So I shed another tear
Will I win this battle?
Will my tears be wasted
My heart beats for you
I fight the battle
My heart tells me they are wrong so I’d say something I know I shouldn’t
So I fight my battle will this battle ever end?
Can I save the last petal from falling off?
My heart shatters to stop time
To catch the last petal
The last feeling
The last emotion
To save the sacrifice I have to make
Do I have to fight every battle? Will I win?
As every sunset and every sunrise I fight a battle I wish to the moon that I don’t have to
I fight a battle to keep myself from slipping through my fingers
I fight to keep myself from being complacent
I fight on a battle field that I hope to win
So my last pedal won’t fall
So I bleed to save others blood from shedding
So I am disciplined
So I am a soldier on a battle field without a tear wasted
So I am iron soldier that walks across the field to win this battle against myself
Against the world and for my country to fight a battle that never ends.

He tells me how my eyes flicker in the sunlight
How my straight hair flow in the air
The way my dress fit skin tight
The perfection of my curves
How I stop his breath as I pass by
Hey he way my smile becomes his dreams
How my brown eyes are puddle of honey
Though the more I stare in the mirror the clear I see
How my eyes cannot compare to the shine of stars
How I wish my hair would curl though it was styled
The way I’m disgusted of my body
How I wish I had thin legs, flat belly though I was a model
The way I hid every time I pass by him
Wishing he would never see my ugliness
Oh I wish I can hide the smile that shows the ugly teeth’s
So ugly it cry’s every time someone cracks a joke
Sorry that my brown eyes cannot compare to blue eyes
Though he says I’m pretty my eyes see nothing but ugly
They say” beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

Calling barren blooming stem
glistening leaf buds singed
with leaf buds to snowy virginity
outside  observation buried into dust
bee sunk creaming in every blossom
love embraced ecstatic shiver
golden dust of pollen glamoured bees
remorseless sweet left into whistling wind

Pages flip words call with crying lust
eyes stare with addiction
book of shelf flys
words walk though it was alive
eyes scan as thee reads
book hovers over thee
their eyes were watching
the shelves didn't speak
words sing with history
books danced with fantasy
shelves creaked with books of history words of fantasy emotions of fiction and pain of non-fiction wept.

Tik tok the count begins
The count down of your return
Day one here I go
Day 14 your still gone
14 sunsets I whispered
14 lonely nights
14 cold nights
I stare At the moon
In wonder of how you are
In every heart beat a memory rushes
Memory of your smile
The way you talk
The way you look at me
Memory of your voice that travels through space to my ears
Your voice on the other side of the phone
I count the stars wishing your ring tone rings
Day 21 your still gone
Your unavailable
I count the sunset for the day you return
21 cold nights in bed
I count my dreams of you
The stars I make a wish to doesn’t help with my slumber
21 struggles of force to lift my eye lids that wishes time of your return
21 struggles of counting sunsets
21 day’s of hopeless wishes
21 sunsets my heart cracks
21 million tears drop
21 hopes nights missing you
Tik TOk here I go

The University of Oregon, Western University,  
Duke University, Yale so what
He who studies law
thee who has riches
attend Duke Unversity
Thee who suffers from no riches
He who attends Western University So what
What differs
WHo study will be an equal point
so he attends Duke so he attends Western
will pay equal will master equally.

They come and go
The lie and tell the truth
As I learned to never trust
Trust in words someone says
But the eyes never lie
Eyes come and go though they never lie
Her eyes show the pain she hides
Her eyes show the troubles
Her eyes show the lie she tells
Her eyes show her true color
His words may say the sky is green but his eyes says blue
The eyes never lie

Why do you make me feel so special
make me run out of words
make me smile every day just by the thought of you
The thought of something more
with you makes my heart skip one two three
but I am scared
scared your gonna leave me
your gonna walk away.
that all this will fall
I come to a town and there you were
It turned into more all I have is you
"AND FEAR"
The fear that you are gonna get tired of me.
That your arms will hold someone else
while my eyes water
while my heart crumble like broken glass

You fill my life with energy laughter and chatter.
You've challenged me, taught me things about the world about people and of course myself.
I, ve made so many mistakes.
You've forgiven me and helped me so much.
But your greatest gift is the love I have for you.
It's unbreakable
It's forever

He passes by
The wind blows across my face
The sun flickers against his ***** blond
Turquoise eyes hold me still
I smell a breeze blow past us like we weren't there
His turquoise eyes sparkle like a star
as I forget where I was
He glides across the road to where I was
The chills shivered down my spine though I stepped into a bath of ice
Turned around pretend
He caught my arms and stood me against a pole
he chews his gum as he tries to speak
I smell a minty breather blow across my cheeks

The chatter echos through
kids of mumbling chatter in my ears
haunted house on a Greendale road
floorboards creaked as it was alive
windows bright though it sees me
door lock clicks swallow me whole
Carpet tongue moves teeth chatters to chew
Giggles whispers in my ears
chills run through the floors
wind whistles like a coach
Spits me out though I was gross

I dont know where your at.
I dont know how you are.
Though i know my heart is chained to you. Though patient never describes me i can wait until my broken heart doesnt beat. Until my last breath flies away.
My love for you is though a knoted string around your heart.
I can wait until my eternal rose dies.

I would give up the entire world if it meant I could have you in my life endlessly.
Your happiness is of grave importance to me when I study your smile I can overlook the darkness of this decaying reality.
Every heartbeat of the time my mouth declares three unpretentious words.
"I LOVE YOU"
I say it like an invocation
Not one moment did my tongue express profanity against these golden words of poetry.
I LOVE YOU. " I LOVE YOU " AND SOLITARILY JUST YOU.
I wallow in my own sorrows at the thought of the culmination when we shall one day part at death's hands.
I deeply distinguish that you love me equally, and this brings vast pleasure to my temperament.
I sense security in your encirclement, your heart is my home.
My heart qualms of my fragile weakness that I consume when I dream of you.
you make me susceptible to the sickness of love.
If love was a poem, you would be the title.
To even commence to define how profoundly I fell in love with you, I would need the capacity of a thousand-page manuscript written in the most romantic idiom.
Each and every retention of us is stowed into the back of my conscious and concealed deep into my heart.
Every beautiful memory plays through my head like soft music.
I would say my heart is immovable. There are days that you, but it's intolerable for me to do so.
I am so engulfed in your perfection. I do not think there has been a single day that you have escaped my thoughts.
I can feel your presence with me if I ponder our memories deeply enough.
Your presence weighs heavily in my heart. it is as if part of your soul occupies its crevasses, and fills my cracks.
Your eyes are echos of a hundred distant galaxies no man has ever revealed. Vast windows that reflect the constellation.
My heart is certain the universe resides in them.
as I begin to study your face, I feel like nothing but love could exist.
Your porcelain perfection never ceases to weaken me.
you weaken me with love, trust, and desire.
Like the finest specimen created by the hands of gods.
as I anticipate the connection of love, the implication is " YOU"
Even if the fire for what you feel for my dies, I do not the reason the passion I have for you will ever dim.
I di not begin to recollect if I had ever felt this susceptible.
I let this passion be valued like the rarest stones.

I never noticed
The rose that had thrones
That I always held
The chains around my heart
The locked door
The cries that my heart shouted
The pain you left in me
I thought that was love
I thought the chains were your arms wrapped around me
I thought the door was unlocked
The cries were laughs
Obviously, I was wrong
But you came along
my best friend
found the key
got my cries to turn into laughs
the darkest hours
I turned till there
the brightest hour still there
we got new adventures
one step at a time.

We fell off the cliff
you grabbed me by my hands
you kissed and kissed my lips till my tears shed
As we kissed
as we fell we kissed until we shattered like glass.

Her burst lips rounded in red lipstick
as she licks them he dares his eyes at her
his eyes focused on her lips he winks
she turns around
she catches his stare but they don't crumble
she swings her hair and glides across the hall. she passes him by but left with the sense of Macy's perfume.

The key to unlocking my heart gets buried deeper and deeper
Until it's at its the grave
Here I am in the dirt filled with scars and pain
Little did they know
Little did they know that
I was alone
the smile covered the true pain
The makeup covered the trail of tears
The sunglasses covered the glaze of my tears
little did they know
I just needed one little friend to care
to have my back
to like me
to love and to care
but it's too late
I am done trying
done hoping

Walking down
Finals day of 5th grade
The ten-year-old little girl looks up at  her momma
Phone scream is in the way
The phone never leaves
all the girl wanted was her momma to look up
She would notice the tears shed
She would notice her daughter crying
Standing in tears
Covering her feelings around her
She would notice her daughter is hurting in pain and needs her momma's help just for once.

I lose my temper that I can not control
I cannot even though I try
my kindness sheds away
the more I lose my temper
the darkness take and takes me up peace by peace
although I fight the more the darkness takes me the more I try to love the more I lose my temper
My loving half is a gone
I'm taken by darkness
No kindness nor love
will ever find me nor bring me back to the light of day

Seductive wayward hands like silk, soft to the touch. Travel down your lustrous skin southbound to their destination.
Lips, neck combine in passion.
Warm breath on the neck turns into sultry slow kisses
your grips hair tightly
your soft moans reverberate in the ears  
as fingers reached ever so close.

The ocean blue eyes show the true pain
If you look close enough
all you can see is pain
the smiles she puts on makes you distracted
makes you think she is ok
she has a mask on saying she is fine
only the words " I'm Fine"
She has a hidden message "PAIN" "FEAR"
The ocean blue eyes
the mask
The smile is all a play
she really isn't okay

Radio plays *** sound
I hear let me pull your dress down
Though I was taught roses, candles, dinner dates
But the boy next door talks let me blow her out
The boy in high says her jeans are tighter
Though I was taught sweet compliments... but group of men talks how his girl moves
My innocents leave like melting butter
I question myself as a girl is this what I’m for?
for ***** words that comes out of a mans tongue to slander me?
For them to debate whether I’m pretty or not with their judge mental minds....
My parents never told me the reality as a female
What are we to them..objects?
Though Cardi B is no good example
I don’t belong to anyone I say
I say I belong to me, myself and I

I woke up
I see metal bars that burned with hell flames
Built 10 by 10 around me
I grabbed to break free that gave my heart a 1st degree burn
The seller got smaller as I struggle to ease the pain
As I struggle the flames burned hotter
My heart burned to ashes
That left me empty cold in pain
Ever beat my burned heart made the jail I was in got tighter
The jail my heart, emotions, and love say in got colder and lonely
Then flash of cold wind of pain hit me awake to realize that it was done by me
Jail of flames that burned my heart was made by me
As I make others happy
As I be selfless to put smiles on others face
As I take my happiness to give to others
As I sacrifice everything to save others
I am lonely
I am cold
I am in pain
I am trapped
I am imprisoned
“ they say sacrifices should be made for freedom”
But only did o realized The meaning of that sentence
Meaning to give others freedom you have to sacrifice yours
Though I wish I could set my heart free and make myself happy. Though I wish to break the jail I sit in to be free. But freedom is never free

Is it even an option?
Even if i am scared..... is it even and option?
You said I toss you like a second piece
Though my heart opens like a book
My heart picked you up like a shiny trophy
My heart bleeds when your face don’t smile
I set my priority of you in the sky
Even a million ladders can’t reach
When you say sweet words my heart trips and tumbles like dominos that got pushed
I stare at the lips that smiles
The smile that’s carves in my Brian like tattoos  
The smile that makes my heart dance in the rain
I stop my heart from bleeding like trying to stop the sun from setting
I tie my shoe so I don’t trip and fall for you
Though my heart unites the shoe lace I knotted like I didn’t
I’m like a poor child who eats carrots because it’s not an option
My brain says no but my heart opens to you like an open book
I walk away but my heart puts me on my knees
I get up but my heart roots me like a tree rooted to the dirt for centuries
Is it even and option?

How can someone think they're so imperfect
Perfect is just a word
everyone in their own way is perfection
The outside isn't what makes you perfect
your inside is your perfection
Perfect is just a word

A shade of blue sky
Golden sun rained and beamed the palms of his hand
Rockfall in thunder rumbling sweet sound
Water sea part and bow though he passed
Sea creature swam in joy
nature bend and bow
mammals cry in joy
Raindrop fall flow stopped in air
Whistling wind stopped though it never blew
Raindrop froze into hale
cold breeze passed by though the golden sun
has never beemed
Shade of blue faded in gray

They are gone but still here.
They are gone I feel their presence.
They have left but still stuck in me.
You have left me on this world with pain and guilt but your presence is still haunting me.
Afraid of the dark afraid of being alone I am lost.

Someone asked “  why do you do what you do?”
I said “ for improvement” “ for enjoyment”
Though I wanted to say
Because this is the only thing getting me through the pain.
The exercise gets my mind off me missing someone
Missing the love of my life
The sweat makes me forget the pain in my chest
Makes me forget how broken I am inside
Makes my mind flicker for a second of something but my stress my depression my loneliness
I do this to get through day by day
Get through the struggles to get out of bed
To get through painful moments so my mind slows down to sleep
So I can make it to sunset to call it a day
Just to redo the next
Because giving up was never given to me as a choice
So the stolen heart of mine stop hurting
So my pass doesnt Haunt me
So I have the energy to put on a fake smile like a fool
So I have the strength to play this game of pretend
So I don’t cry in front of them
So I look intimidating enough  people leave me alone
So that I don’t break into Pieces in front of them
Hoping someone will take this pain off my shoulders
But I lied and said “ for improvement. “ for enjoyment”
So I play the game. So I play pretend.

Across the forest of dreams my desperate eyes catch a glimmer of light
A glimpse of sun that beams against a path of sweet music that plays my smile
A road I have never seen before
A path I have never felt beneath my feat
The time beneath my feet flys across the forest of dreams to catch my lustful wishes
Ever road touched beneath my feat noise evaporates into singing of birds
Moisture of rain drip of instrument into splash of puddles
Tree leaves rattle of joy
Sunshine cracks through kissing trees
A road I’ve never walk
The weight of my barren shoulders that slides off like a drop of rain on a leaf
Though the roads is cement my feet felt of grass beneath my feet
Though my heart heavy of pain, the weight evaporates into moist of happiness
A road so mysterious but so beautiful that I’ve never pictured within my eyes
A road so painful though filled with happiness tears walks across my cheek
Road of peace I wish I could walk
Road of silence that I wish wasn’t just a dream
A never ending of happiness I wish I felt underneath my feet
A road I wish for to wipe my pain though it was never there
But reality is so cruel against my wishes

The winter has passed
They come and go
Spring is here though it will be gone
Though it leaves every season I am alright
My heart beat knows it will come again
The season will come and go yearly
Though the wind blows quieter this year
And the Spring leaves rattle louder
The season is still the same as it is different than any other
My heart hates the winter
Same winter that comes every year to steel the warmth in my heart but never returns
My heart never liked the sun that makes my heart beat faster then speed of light that flickers every twilight
The sun that warms my heart but never last
Though the sun that warms my heart it dries every love I nourished over the blooming spring
By and by the autumn takes as it goes
I sow my soul with the soul I don’t own
With the flesh of seeds I don’t posses
My lesson is learned as the season goes by
My heart learned not to yearn over snow that melts in the spring.  
As the seasons pass my heart never cries of thirst over the rain drops that dries in the sun of summer
Learned to never pick up the dead leaves from and old tree.
The season is here I just don’t have any seeds to give

The love I have for you words cannot define.
The thing I do for you no one could ever imagine.
If I had to give up the world to save you I’d do it without a thought.
If stoping time means you not growing old then I’ll find a way.
If stoping the rain from falling means no down falls in your life than I’ll do it.
If I have to wipe out everything in this world to let you stand tall, to let you prosper than I’ll do it.
No one can imagine my selfishness for you.

You put me down
but I will rise
you break my bones but they will heal
You shatter my dreams but they will form
my security will rise against you.

Though thee says for me to sway
stored my sorrows against the bay
Reflect my tears over the shore
Sorrow pushes against the sand
demons cry under my feet
Forgotten who's but threw my ring
The ocean ate like a meal
Stepped on fragile sand
sunk beneath the sea, reflect the tears of my fears
Paled skin burned against the flames
Eternal sword into my soul
Gazing sin dared with pride
Secret pushes onto the shore glowing in the night like a light