You where a rose unlike any other
You invited me to grip you tight
You knew your thorns shined bright
Yet I gripped with all my might
Just to have my blood come to sight
“It’s love” I said
“Look at all the red”

I walk the ground

In a world of soaring angels

Wings so beautiful and bright

While my horns only grow with scorn and sorrow

Envious of the beautiful span of those in the sky

How do I rise from this barren plane

How do I reach the freedom of that blue field

How do I file down these horns and join them in bliss

Why am I chained to this wasteland

Why do I envy these creatures

Why am I not content with what I have

These are questions I ask my self every day

But till I find the answers

I walk the ground

In a world of soaring angels

Why do I feel nothing

In the face of others

Tears

Anger

Resentment

Happiness

Love

Why do I feel nothing

Am I missing something others have

Am I just not normal

Am I broken

Is the heart god gave me been tampered with so much by others it stopped working?

Why do I feel nothing

I look in the mirror
I’m to fat
I’m to skinny
I’m to ugly
I look in the mirror
Why am I like this
Why is hard to express who I want to be
Why can’t I be better
I look in the mirror
Stop being you
Fix yourself
I hate you
Reflection weeps
“Why can’t you love me for who I am”

I’m sorry
I’m sorry I am the way I am
I’m sorry I can’t do better
I’m sorry I can’t fix my self
I’m sorry I can’t be what you want
I’m sorry I feel the way I feel
I’m sorry my problems seem like an annoyance

I’m not sorry for leaving

I’m not sorry for is walking away from some one who makes me feel sorry for who I am

I’m not sorry for finding someone who wants me not to be sorry but to be happy to be myself

The last thing I’m sorry for is that you couldn’t accept who I am

But that’s not my problem it’s yours.

Everyday I stab myself
Hatred is my weapon of choice

I hate crying
I hate saying bye
I hate people
I hate how people treat each other
I hate being by myself
I hate being myself

But most of all I hate others for making me this way

I hate the the way they took it all away
I hate how I’m unable to open up others
I hate the way I’m unable to love another

These knives others have placed with only room for the knives I put in myself
Saying it’s my own fault
I made my self this way no one else to blame

I hate all of this

Everyday it grows, and I’m unable to get away
Stalking me like I’m some weak prey
Because nothing will take these knives away

They don’t understand
Sitting at the bottom of the well
Looking up at the light at the top
Tears streaming down
Darkness surrounding
Not knowing how to get out
Every wrong move
Every person I’ve hurt
thinking about how this world would be better without me
Weighing down on me
Holding me in the dark
Being alone but never actually being alone
Wishing it would all just stop
Wanting the pain to go away
Wanting the thoughts to stop
Just wanting it all to stop
They don’t understand