I cannot be this broken thing
Clinging onto you
I've not the happiness to spare
Or share with someone new
My heart is much too fragile
My path too wandering
One day I may feel ready
Right now, I feel worn thin
Too stressed, too blessed, too lonely
To split myself in two
When I'm whole again, I'll find myself
Then, maybe, I'll find you

i'll bet you don't know pain like I do
bruises and aches form a beautiful painting
green and purple, cruel and patient
and the picture feels like home
i'll bet you don't miss pain like I do
the stab of something snapped or broken
twisted, wasted, lose all hope, and-
ah, this feels like home

Rhyme comes easy-
Which word rhymes with this word-
And all that
Although if poetry was just rhyming
And timing
It would fall flat
There’s something hidden in the words
You can taste it
The perfect phrase and all the ways
A human heart
Can be paraphrased-
You can’t fake it
These words aren’t just words
They’re feelings and you’ve earnt them
That hollow in your soul
Where it hurts?
This pain is worth it

I'm addicted to pain
And desperation
Long nights with burning eyes
Keeping myself awake and
Hating myself for it, aching for it
Yearning for the dull exhaustion of the morning
Hollowed-eyed, isolated, feral
Looking like I feel, for once, and
Hating myself for it, aching for it

Life has been frantic for so long
I get anxious when it's not
I feel guilty and wrong and
I'd rather burn myself out
Again and again and again
Restless with the urge to get up,
To move, to burn,
To fight my own, inherent brokenness
Again and again and again

I feel like a freak
As I dig my nails into my skin
So I won't crawl out of it
When I'm not in pain
My hands shake and I want to scream
I'm so good at faking it,
But I'm never not afraid
When I'm out of sight,
My hands shake and I want to scream