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Julia Rose Jan 2019
To teach the word of God
I had to sign a slip
"Homosexuality is a sin"
The Lord's ears were deaf to my cries
To be perfect in God's eyes
I can't love women
Maybe I should be punished for my sins
Julia Rose Dec 2018
When I look in the mirror
Pick, point, and pull
Pull at my belly fat
Pick at my face
And point to my tears
Julia Rose Dec 2018
I want to flip my hair
I want to laugh
I want to date a football player
I want to be popular

I want to climb a mountain
I want to bungee jump
I want to tame a tiger
I want to feel dangerous

I want to have a 4.0 GPA
I want to have straight A’s
I want to get accepted into Yale
I want to be a genius

I want to smile
I want to laugh
I want to be with my friends deep into the night
I want to dress up, wear cute clothes
I want to write
I want to bake
I want to become a lawyer
I want to be me

I can’t be me
I can’t commit to anything
I can’t stay true
I can’t stay true to myself
I can’t stay true to the ones I love
I can’t stay in one place

I have to stop
I have to make better choices
I have to study
I have to make better of myself
Julia Rose Dec 2018
I smile
And I laugh
I have to
I can’t let them see
I’m suffering
How I can’t breath
While I’m crying in the dark
I don’t want them to ask
‘Are you okay?’
Because I don’t want to answer
“No, I’m not”
Because I feel like I’m drowning
In my own ocean of woes
But they won’t care
They’ll send me off with words of promise
And I’m back
In the dark
Big yikes. Just got depressed there.

— The End —