My skin trembles with pleasure and pain—pleasure in every tender way you loved me, yet torn by the agony in the way you unraveled me.

You stand
Gathered together,

The lines of your branches,
The ink of your markings
Standing out.

On your grey-white paper
I will fill your book
With beautiful poetry.

I am forever distant--
Like pollen once it
has left on the wind,
Isolated in a home
With little windows
and temporal silence.
I see no fault
in being vulnerable
And open, anymore--
But these guarders,
still cover my words.

The sheen of ice
On a frozen lake,
So much underneath,
yet never shown--
Because no feet
Dare to walk on it,
Or come close enough
to break its surface.

I wanted to write
As if I would never be judged
But then I would never do it
My feelings never making it through it.

You left me numb
Deathless pain is all I've got
And it doesn't speak
It just feels like a cheap trick.

I thought I had you forever
But when I saw that you could never
Be that person, it lit in me an arson
What a betrayal
He expects me to be loyal.

And even then,
So I was
But he left me no chance
Not a breather
Now I'm a hardly
A believer.