I miss the smell of your skin
The taste of your lips
The way your tongue danced with mine
Your lingering touches
And frantic heartbeat
Pressed against mine
The dimple in your chin
Your toothy grin
I miss...
You

I want to live
In the moment
With one hundred percent
Of my attention
Being fixated on whatever is before me
Not what's on my phone
Or lingering in the back of my mind
I want to live
Rawly
In the moment
I want to be carried away
With all of the emotions
Formed from that specific moment
To be remembered in my head
Not in the form of a picture in a gallery
Or in a phone
I want to genuinely live
In the moment
In a way
That I can't even begin to put into words
Because I cannot express
How I want to feel
Into words

She was a naïve girl
That wanted the attention
Of an enigmatic guy
Who had bad intentions

I
Don't
Want
You
I
Just
Want
You
To
Want
Me

She was precious treasure
Hidden deep
Within the dark waters
Of an ocean floor
But he became too tired
Of holding his breath
Every time
He tried to find her

quite too often
I hear people tell others to
EMBRACE their flaws
well
I don't want to
embrace my "flaws"
I want to change
the way I view myself
so that when I look in the mirror
I accept and love
my ENTIRE body
because I SEE no flaws

But at the end of the day
Are you proud of what you see
Staring back at you
As you stare at yourself
In a rose-colored mirror?

As you stare
Not at your flesh
But at your soul
Because looks can be deceiving
And your flesh is a master
At deception
But your eyes see beyond
The unmoving mask that your flesh
Portrays to the outside world

So I ask you
Are you proud of what you see
As you stare
Truly stare
At yourself in a mirror
That's no longer stained
The color of a rose

I want to be
So in love
With someone
That I smile ridiculously wide
Just at the mere thought
Of his name

I want to be
So in love
With someone
That I shiver
Just at the mere thought
Of his hands
Gently caressing my
Cheeks
Gently tracing my
Bottom lip
Gently pressing against the edges of my
Jaw
Gently moving across my
Collarbone
Gently stroking my naked
Shoulder

I want to be
So in love
With someone
That I melt
Like chocolate in a s'more
Just at the mere thought
Of his hands
Gently intertwining
Against mine

When I was young
I used to like to think
That things were either
Black
Or
White
And that there was only a few instances
Where the colors would bleed
Into one another
And become grey

But now
I'd like to believe
That things are only
Black and white
When you don't humanize the issue
Because when you do
It's impossible for it to not be grey
It's impossible to make a
Black or white opinion
Because there are basic
Human emotions
Tangling their way
Through that opinion
And the more emotions
The more tangled
And harder it is
To find the answer
Hidden inside that web

I once read the lines
“Practically on top of us
is a girl
with long brown hair
a black hoodie
and the tightest jeans I have ever seen
I automatically hate her
because those jeans
make her look good”
From a book

This mentality bothers me
I mean
Why can't we
Admire another girl's beauty
Instead of becoming jealous
Or envious of it
While attempting to find
A flaw of theirs
To counteract their beauty
Why can't we just appreciate it
While loving ourselves
Completely
Without making ourselves feel less
Important
Or desirable
Or worthy
Because they have something
That is "better"
Which is entirely subjective
Due to the fact
That there are many opinions
Of what being beautiful
Aesthetically means
Since there are many people
In this world
Which in itself
Is beautiful

Just for a second
Can we go back
To the ways of our youth

Just for a second
Can guys and girls
Sit around and just talk
Without any ****** tension
Permeating the air

Can we just be content
With listening to one another
Diving deeper and deeper
Into conversations
That are so deep and complex
A Milky Way feels threatened

Can I just smile
Genuinely smile
Not one that twists my lips upwards
And reaches my eyes
But with my soul
Without having another
Mistake my kindness
For anything more
Than it is

Just for a second
Can I stop having to analyze
Another's actions
Or my own
In fear of rejection
Or misinterpretation

Just for a second
Can we go back
To the ways of our youth
To simplicity
To authenticity
Back to when
I was just a girl
And you were just a boy
Without hormones or society
Affecting our interactions
Back to the ways of our youth

I want to smile
At people
In a way
That they have never been smiled at
Before

In a way
That makes them feel as if
They're the only ones
I see among the sea of faces
Around them

In a way
That makes them feel as if
I'm the first one to truly
Stop and express
Raw and genuine attention
To another

In a way
That makes them feel as if
I truly notice them amongst this world
That is torn at moving
At high speeds
Instead of getting lost with
What's right in front of it
Because it's all a blur as they speed by it

In a way
That makes them feel
Important
Worthy
Loved
Noticed
Because sometimes
People don't feel that way
And if I can break out a smile
That expresses all of those emotions
To that one person
In a matter of a few short seconds
Then I'd constantly look for those
That look like anything but

I desire to have a love
Where I run out of your car
And into the welcoming downpour of rain From up above
And as I tilt my head up
With my eyes gently closed
Towards the heavens
Relishing in the feel
Of the refreshing rain
Lightly kiss my flushed face
While I twirl around
With my arms stretched out wide
And as you see me
Dancing in the rain
Alone
Through your blurry windshield
You smile shyly and whisper to yourself
The three words
That you deeply feel
But haven't mustered up
The courage to say
To me
You then leap out of your car
And chase after me
I shriek
When I feel your strong arms
Wrap their way
Tightly around my waist
From behind
And as we begin to dance together
The unspoken sound
Of our love
For one another
Plays in the background of my thoughts
Drowning out the sound
Of the deafening rain
As we dance
Together
In the rain
Right as you softly speak
Those three words
Against my lips

I want to look at people
As if they're a blank canvas
So that their looks
Don't affect my
Perception of them
Which can dictate the
The way that I treat them

I want to look at them
And allow their words
Their character
Their aura
Their minds
To paint their naked canvas either
Beautifully vibrant or
Artistically dull shades of
Sorrowful blues
Mellow greens
Raging reds
Calm yellows
And so on

I want to look at people
Without a bias
When I first see them
Like a white canvas

I want to look at people
For who they are on the inside
For the painting they create
From within
With eyes that don't get influenced
By outward appearances
But by
Beautiful
Masterpieces
Whether
Sad
Happy
Or broken
Masterpieces
That are their
Paintings

We are poets
We possess a power
Different from one another
But unlike any other

We are like musicians
Some of our best pieces
Come from heartbreak
Or sorrow
We might not add beats in the background
But our words
On paper
Speak for themselves
And no tunes are needed
To add to its potency

We are like artists
We paint pictures in people's minds
Maybe not through oils or watercolors
But with our thoughts
With our minds

As cliche as it sounds
Our paint brushes are our pens
We create masterpieces
So unique
So intricately complex
Or powerfully simple

Just as a painter brings to life
An image that's never been seen before
Through strokes and brushes and smears
We possess the power
To do so
With our words

Through the emptiness of one's thoughts
We bring to life
Images
Emotions
Memories

We are poets
You
And
Me
We possess a power
Different from one another
But unlike any other

I enjoy opening my window
At night
Not because I desire
The cool breeze to crawl
It's way across my
Hot
Sweaty
Sun-kissed
Skin
But because I desire
To hear the night
Spill its way across my room
And fill the air
With mystery
With life

Does my touch
Give you goosebumps
Like yours does

Does my warm smile
Melt a little of the ice
Surrounding your heart
Like yours does

Does the sound of my name
From another's lips
Cause the corners of yours
To lift upward
Like yours does

Does my existence
Give you comfort
Like yours does

You infiltrate my thoughts
Sporadically throughout the day
And haunt my dreams
Occasionally throughout the night

We might not speak
During the day
But boy by night
Let's just say
You come out to play

But now
You nauseate me
And frustration seeps through
The surface
Of my body
Permeating the air
With my "love" for you
As my nose recoils from the stench
And it sickens me
To my core

I wait for the day
Where you
My "boy"
become a
faint
distant memory
that I have to
struggle
To remember

I want to be Someone
So unique
So special
That no matter who I meet
I leave an impression
Either on their heart
Or mind
I want to be someone
That changes another's life
Whether small or big
Someone that another
Cannot easily forget
Someone that they replay
Days after we've met
Someone that another
Can't believe exists
Because my beauty
On the inside
Rivals the one portrayed
On the outside
I want to be someone
That another wonders
How I could be
The way that I am
I want to be someone
That another gets lost
In my poetic aura
My beautiful mind
My raw honesty
My deep laughter
And all-consuming smiles
I want to be someone
That isn't cliche
That's original
And incomparable
Because there has never
Been anyone like me
Before

I want to be with someone
Whose heart stutters
With my gentle caresses

Whose breath stops
Just with one glance at me

Whose palms sweat
Because nerves get the best of him
Even though he's been with many before

I want to be with someone
Who struggles to suppress a shy smile
Every time I smile widely
In his direction
With one that's reserved for him
And him only

While reading
A romance novel
Being inside the mind of a man
Listening to his thoughts
It makes me create my own
In wonder
Like
I wonder if any guy
Has ever thought of
Kissing my lips
Which he finds perfect
While he's stared at me

I wonder if any guy
Has ever thought of
What it would be like
To be my boyfriend
To be the only guy
In the world
That I could
Hold
Touch
Kiss
That I could trust
That I could love

I wonder if any guy
Has ever thought of me
Long after we've seen
Each other

I wonder if any guy
Has blatantly flirted with me
And grew frustrated
Because I didn't pick up on it

I wonder if any guy
Has found me intimidating
To the point
Where it makes them believe
That I'm out of their league

I wonder if any guy
Believed that I was
Beautiful
Perfect even
That I was the embodiment of everything
They craved for

I wonder if any guy
Made me the topic
Of endless conversations
He had
With his closest friends

I wonder if any guy
Believed that I made them a better person

I wonder if any guy
After briefly meeting me
Wanted to impress me
In order to feel worthy of me

I wonder if any guy
Became amused to the thought
Of how I had no clue on just how much I affected him
All while I was talking to him

I wonder if any guy
Wondered what it would feel like
To have our hands intertwined

I wonder if any guy
Wanted to pour out his heart to me
But thought that my small
Delicate hands
Wouldn't be able to contain
His unyielding proclamation

I wonder if any guy
Thinks that I'm the most perfect girl
They have ever met
And that whoever I end up with
Will be the "luckiest *******" in the world

I wonder if any guy
Spent hours
Over analyzing my response
Or actions
Hoping that they were more
Than just kindness

I wonder if any guy
Had an internal battle
About the words he spoke to me
Wondering if they were
Stupid or cheesy

I wonder if any guy
Has gotten nervous
Whenever I smiled or talked
To them

I wonder if any guy
Wished that I was his girl
That he could proudly proclaim
His
To the entire world
With bold confidence
In his actions and words

I wonder if any guy
Has ever been hyperaware of my
Every movement
Like you would with a huge crush
That's in the room

I wonder if any guy
Had to fight the strong urge
Of wrapping their arms
Around my body
In an all consuming embrace

I wonder if any guy
Snuck secret glances
In my direction
Without my knowledge
Just so he could admire me
From afar
Without me noticing

I wonder if any guy
Showed pictures of me
From social media
To his friends
To explain his infatuation

I wonder if any guy
Looked at me
And silently contemplated
If there was even a guy
On earth
Worthy enough
For me

I wonder if any guy
Wished he had the confidence
To go up me and strike a conversation
But felt too nervous to

I wonder if any guy
Has ever been
Overwhelmed or confused
By the unfamiliar emotions
That they receive
Whenever they see or think
About me

I wonder if any guy
Made me the muse
To an endless amount of romantic poems
That I'll never get to hear

I wonder if any guy
Misses the mundane conversations
That we would have
Because they meant
Everything
To him

I wonder if any guy
Daydreamed of interactions
Where I would fall
Madly in love with him
Because he felt more comfortable
In his imagination

I wonder if any guy
Has ever been turned on
By the brief
Contact of our bodies
Accidentally brushing against each other

I wonder if any guy
Was dying for me to just know his name
So he could be comforted with knowing
That I knew of him
So that when I saw him passing by
My face would light up with recognition
Instead of indifference

I wonder if any guy
Saw me in public
Didn't know me or my name
But hit his friends
Trying to get their attention
So that he could point me out
Because he found me beautiful

I wonder if any guy
Has ever purposely chosen an outfit
Hoping that it would catch my attention

I wonder if any guy
Purposely avoided me
Because he was too shy
To be near me

I wonder if any guy
Had dreams of me
That he wished would be
His reality

I wonder if any guy
Wanted to pursue me
But hesitated
Because he thought
That there was no way
I didn't already have a boyfriend

I wonder if any guy
Has ever been in awe
With everything that I've done
Just because it's me

I wonder if any guy
Decided not to ask me out
Because they thought
That they weren't good enough
For me

I wonder if any guy
Has looked at me
With eyes filled with unspoken love
But mine
Filled with so much innocence
Never truly saw theirs

I wonder if any guy
Admired my ****** features
As I spoke to him
Seconds before coming to to conclusion
That I was beautiful

I wonder if any guy's
Last thought
Before he went to bed
Was about me

I wonder if any guy
Was dying to tell me
That they were in love with me
But felt too scared to do so

I wonder what people think
Those that know
And don't know me
When they look at me

I wonder...

His words whisper
Against my flushed cheeks
Crawl into my ears
And infiltrate my mind
Causing all thoughts to cease
Until the only ones left
Are his

My senses have blurred
And they all have one source
Him
My lips taste of his
My hands touch his
My eyes stare into his
My ears listen to the words
That fall off his lips
And drip with honey
Laced with wild lavender

My nose fills with his all-consuming scent
A scent that cannot be compared
To any other in the form of a smilie
Because it is uniquely his
And is unlike anything
That has ever been before

My senses have blurred
So all I taste is him
All I feel is him
All I see is him
All I hear is him
All I smell is him

My senses have blurred
And so have my thoughts
Because now
They only consist of poems
That describe him
And only him

I want a relationship
That's anything but typical
One that defies cliches
And the definition of spontaneous

I want to be so in tune with another
To the point where it feels
As though a piece of me
Has crawled its way into him
Permanently

I want a relationship
That takes a detour from anything
Stereotypical
Such as dinner and a movie for a first date
To thrift store shopping
In the streets of Seattle
At dusk
While ending the night
At a warm cozy cafe
Situated on a quiet corner
In the shadows of the city
Where poetry is either
Softly spoken
Or bitterly belted out
From within one's own soul
On a rugged beaten-up stage
With nothing but a spotlight
Mic
And wooden stool
All while we sip on tea
(Because I don't like coffee)
And reminisce on the moments
Worth remembering
That were made that day together
In between fits of laughter
While secretly dreaming
About the future ones to be made
In the comfort of our minds
As we tightly grasp our warm mugs
In front of our lips
To hide the shy smiles
That dare to make an appearance

to the ones
that are heavy burdened and beaten down
by the cruelties of life and its wicked ways
you are more
than the scattered and broken pieces
left of life's destructive tools
used to pummel you down to nothingness

to the ones
that struggle to barely lift
the unbearable weight
of their parents and peers expectations
that grow and spread like flesh eating viruses
slowly but surely taking pieces of you away
you are more than your labels
more than your image  
but most importantly
you are more than the materialistic values
that you superficially hold

to the ones
that either hold fluttering butterflies or stinging bees
in their stomachs
you are more
than your raging teenage hormones

to the ones
that struggle to accept the skin that they live in
you are more
than the decaying shell
that we call our bodies
because the most beautiful people
are the ones who are quietly unaware of it

to the ones
that see life in billions of shades of grey
you are more
than the color in which you see life in
it might just take a lover
to rub the dust off your lens

to the ones
that feel as though they don't fit in
you are more
than the conformity you see around you
because progress wasn't made without diversity