You can turn anything into a positive
Whatever makes life easier
follow that logic
But don’t go turning red flags green
Don’t convince yourself they’re nice
just because you wanna be mean
Don’t get trapped on the Xanax and lean
Because it helps make positivity
a nice little screen
Between you and real life
And the desperately obscene
Positivity makes everything look green
It can change lives and distort others
False ideals create
fallen sisters and brothers
People that thought they
could live like another
Don’t be naive and let
false truths be covered
Be true to yourself and if it’s not you, run
The shadows still exist in the sun

~kb

Resentments can ****,
renting their space
in a head full of anger,
a desperate place.
They attack all cognition
and leave you left with impulse
at those who leave you
disgusted and repulsed.
But the only beat down
to your death is done by you.
Only you hold fatal anger,
they haven’t got a clue.

~kb

The pain of sickness
Knows nothing of time
But it surely finds its place

Snuggles deep inside
Warm bodies to grow
Has a distinguishing distorted face

People are scared
Of pain’s vast unknowns
No desire to become educated

Ignorance drives
Their initial responses
And it’s all become antiquated

Tell people you have
A physical ailment
They are driven to empathy

Tell people you have
A mental illness
Fear drives them to entropy


~kb

One of people’s biggest fears
is being afraid to die.
They’re not afraid of death,
they’re afraid of losing life.
So if you ask me if I’m afraid of death
I’ll have to tell you no,
because I’d have to be afraid
of losing something I don’t know.

~kb

My soul was so bright
now my face is pastel
Everything turns fuzzy
and I’m unwell

Hard teeth crack
on harder truth

Lungs’ branches
grow flowers of cancer
just hit with the answer
to how I’m gonna die

Run outside
Start to drive
Try not to cry
Reach for my smokes

And stop

Been busy filling lungs with tar
to match my heart
slow down this beat a bit
until I’ve beaten it
Now I’m beating fists
against my head as I
hold the dread
in my very hand
contraband
and I’m sick

I’ve never really looked
the same at flowers
I count their falling petals
like I count the hours


~kb

You play me sultry
Down to a fragile state
From my salacious waist
I’m ready for lust to drift into
Your lungs as you inhale me
And I invade your bloodstream
And the blood in your
Veins starts singing my name as it
Pulses in and through your brain
And ****
Everything about you is liquid
Rush in around me
Immerse me surround me
Filtrate me through the
Fluid movement of you
So I can move as you want me to

~kb

I lie upon a table, open to the world.
Fingers slowly straighten,
losing anxious gripping curves.
Gentle hands behind my head,
I’ve been told this may be rough,
but something deep inside this soul
has had about enough.
Let me fall into
the darkest places webbed and trapped.
When I come out bathed in tears
I’ll have a better guided map.

He presses on my head,
and I breathe and count to three.
The rest of my experience
is no longer up to me.
He says: find a happy place,
notice all the smells.
The noises and the feeling
of a comfort I know well.

I fall onto the floor
of my late Grandmother’s home,
the place I never wondered
if I’d ever feel alone.
His pressure becomes greater,
and the darkness takes its shape.
The bed she lay upon,
her last breaths while not awake.
I am there beside her now,
but lie in trance from brain control.
The sadness becomes worse
and emotion takes its toll.
A snap of gentle fingers
and I’m suddenly awake.
Face is drenched in tears
and I’m far from feeling safe.

The doctor looks at me
and asks me softly how I feel.
I say I don’t know why,
but I fear what he’s revealed.
I ascend up from the table,
dry my face and soaking ears,
I know I will stay stuck
if I keep in all these fears.
Bearing through the pain
of reliving blocked off issues,
I tell him next appointment,
I’ll bring my own tissues.

-kb


*A true story about emotional healing and Cranio Sacral therapy

Thought, idea, word.
Bunny ears and first steps
Linguistic infant
Stumble on low terrain
One foot by one foot dance
Path blind but revealing
Thoughts hold hands with scenery
Eclectic feigned phrases
Turn the page
Tumble down rock and teachings
Start at asystole
Pen shocking to hands
Old writings reread and revived
Thought, idea, word take new shape
Teachers molding their disciples

~kb

The vibration of the cello’s chest
Has my breathing skipping vital breaths
Imagining notes jumping lines
Rhyming fingers keeping time
Bow slides slick like it never touches strings
As I listen nothing seems to be touching me
Except the stale scales brought to life
Bars cut with precision by the composer’s knife
Cut fingers press out the staff’s life
Play so hard the horse hair breaks
Emotional forte it’s all I can take
As I set down the bow
Eyes still closed
The breath still seems to be taken from me
And I never want this music to leave

~kb

My mind’s eye has cataracts
I’m remembering facts that haven’t happened yet
Like a dog understanding it can’t understand the human’s command
I turn my head to see better
Watching invisible words
play out in visual verbs
Clouded and disturbed
Starting to match incompatible feelings
with compatible meanings
Based on what I’m seeing
But that ****** fog
A chemical atmosphere inside my skull
it’s way too full
and it’s emptying me
Eye is blackening
Pull the plug in back of me
so I can finally see
this fog leave
and the wreckage I have left to clean

~kb

You’re lying

Take electronic words
Pull out their wires and rearrange them
Make new finished phrases
That only suit my suspicion
Haven’t spoken a single word
Yet blasphemy runs in binary
And I’m yelling at the phone
But sound waves don’t sift
From speakers to your ears
Hands pierce screen with screams
Typing as quickly as thoughts
Can make nerve connections
with fingertips like the tainted ones
You used to graze my skin with
***** and repulsive
Let the light loosen from the
Backs of my eyes
Place down the hype
And let nicotine smooth my
Stuttering mind
Stuttering thumbs pulse a glass table
Energy escaping calming rational ready

I think you’re lying, can we talk?

~kb

Spirit intrigued me but
leaves me deceived when
relief is the same thing I fear.
Coming together in
warming up weather,
I find I feel better
when the sun is so near.
But the real sky’s bliss
that I lust for and miss
is the moon and its’ kiss
when the light hits me clear.
This moon turns hawk,
swoops me up to space walk,
traces star light with chalk,
and my fears disappear.
Take me down, gentle wings,
on the ground we will see
our souls sing in glee,
reflecting like a mirror.
Love in and love out,
doves embrace on this cloud,
our feet pace to meet now,
the energy feels so dear.
Hearts wrap arms round each other,
finding nothing but lovers,
growing close under covers,
whispering into ears.
Discovering soft secrets,
pinky promise to keep it,
not a shadow of regret
in the light we endear.
Hold tight to our dreams,
stitch up broken seams,
let smiles and souls gleam
from the heartbeats we hear.

-kbww

I’m having a difficult time here, you see,
my mind keeps bartering my reality
for a few hits of bliss and impulsive bruises
and a subsequent list of bad excuses
I’ve been here before it’s what diseases do
But I know the cure and who to talk to

I dial my friend with vibrating fingers
A sweet soft hello gently lingers
My voice box has shut off there’s no remote
Streams of tears down to my throat
“What’s wrong honey are you okay?”
No I say in an angry way
I’ve ******* up again and can’t get it back
This life is just one vicious attack
I don’t know where to go or what to do
She softly laughs, “Yes you do.”
“You’ve felt this despair before
But I have to laugh at what you look for
You have conquered this demon in the past
Stop ******* about it and get off your ***
Start doing the things that bring integrity
Start going to places you used to find peace
But stop blaming your disease
Just beacuse it brings you more ease
And please start letting
Something spiritual in
Let go of false control and gain some new
Enlightenment.”

I hung up the phone nothing to say
Tomorrow will be the newest of days.

~kb

The only streetlight for miles.
A lone standing work of art.
Moths flutter and bugs’ trials
to get into the light, use all their heart.
The vast black horizon
is filled with monsters and demons.
A place known to wisen
those who can find enough esteem in
their emotional fortitude
to take shadows to heart,
and let the blackness intrude
like a night’s work of art.
Those that stroll through black clouds
didn’t choose this jail sentence.
A mind that tortures out loud,
life feeling painfully defenseless.
There may be hope that still sings
I pray that it does.
Because in that darkness with things
I roam clenching my jaws.
I can see that lone light
I seem to walk circles around.
Hope’s singing just might
lead me to glowing ground.

~kb

My never has come
The day I succumb
That thing that I’d never do
Just became a deceitful truth
Here I am talking to my mom
Telling her nothing's really wrong
Just some nights without sleep
The stars have been holding me
A hammock of lights in the night sky
But the atmosphere inside my mind
Makes me unable to meet eyes
You’d see through hazel iris lies
You know how to read me
You'll predict all I’ll do
But because I’ve failed you
I failed me too
But only I can live with it
Keep it down deep
Trying hard to pretend
I won’t fall to my knees
God wasn’t there when it happened
Because it was in my head in my voice
And my own voice scares me more than God
When I make a shameful choice
As much as I want to I don’t let God in
And he shakes his head as I bathe in sin

~kb

I’m writing this letter
to tell you today
that your black and white existence
has now become grey
The rose petals have worn
down to thorn brittled branches
I’ve gathered every trinket in a locked wooden box, taking no chances
Douse the box in kerosene
vibrantly watch the pyre
until all that remains
are the ashes of a liar
I’m not writing you this
to give you some kind of rise
I just want to tell you
after thousands of tries
You have finally become grey
a neutral position
Neither hate nor love
steps up to position
I am rid of your physical
and the emotional lessened
thoughts finally followed
and I’ve learned my lesson
You’re finally gone
and I’m in heaven.

~kb

She has never cried wolf
But she cries so much
The sheep are starting to scare

Even the wolves
Pull back a touch
Her howls are much deeper than theirs

This visceral scream
No one knows what it means
But it shakes and haunts the town

The people don’t seem
To need to know what it means
They just know they let her down

~kb

I have two internal measures
for the way that I behave;
a mental slave to personalities
conflicting through the day
and I particularly hate
when both collide
in times of stress,
one's a mess, the other’s message
slides under messy depressive
states of habit I’ve constructed
to survive and mime reality,
unrelenting muscle memory
devised from grooves in symmetry
through brain and grained gray matter
a pattern cyclically repeats
and I’m defeated just before
I get to stand on my own feet.

~kb

I’m laughing even though
I want to cry
but it’s like my mind
needs my body to feel happy
as the pain comes out
or I’ll break again
there’s light in these bones
I promise
but I can’t stop falling
and these fractures keep on letting it out
I’m in doubt of this life
like a mistreated wife
I just want to get out
but I need help
We’re all simply suffering
just not on the same day
so if it’s your time off
please come my way
I could use the company
and a mind that’s not mine
and when my bones start to heal
It’ll be my turn in line

~kb

Hidden inside me something
hides me from you.
And it’s about to come unglued,
like a poorly but proudly
school made piece of art.
My macaroni intestines start to
come apart and
split at the seams.
And I anxiously await my anxiety state.
Await the insomnia and formula
my body follows so closely to begin
and weigh in on my
current life sins.
Business as usual for the
sensitive ones. Life relayed by
internal dictators through the
broken neurotransmitters and
weak gut.
But,
though the cycle continues,
interrupts the cycle that’s happening,
the cycles combine,
and I’m no longer trapped in me.
The cycles have finally
allowed me to move.
And I may not ride
life’s bike like you do,
but at this present moment
it’s enough to stay glued.
And like the curious kitten,
I peep my head out,
to show you what’s been hidden.
Show you my bicycle’s route.

~kb

Sometimes I sit in my backyard
listen to the cars in the distance
I wonder where they’re going
Who’s in them
Are they tired or scared
or ready to go out
or dying to go in
or living in sin
or an upstanding human singing along
with the radio or cursing other drivers
for driving too slow
and which one of them goes home to love and which one of them goes home to hate and which one of them goes home alone
and which ones don’t make it home at all
I guess someday we all fall
Another night in the highway tales
that mean nothing more than a girl
who’s imagination is bored

~kb

Calling, knowing the conversation.
Touching every fingertip together as
Anxiously, I wait.

Hello?

Now I must speak, tweak the tone to
Emotion
A hard thing to do if you’re not used to the
Notion
Of pretending to be someone free and content
When I just want to scream my soul’s
Lament
But it’s nowhere to be found,
I’ve put up the posters no calls
No hiding spot behind he stuffed dolls or
The easy bake oven, the innocent that
Should’ve stored that soul tighter than
The secrets of
A coven.
That’s where it is, I guess, in a mess of dark secrets and tests and trials and
Death.
Instead of the scream, I puffed up my chest
Rested the menagerie of thoughts ready to eat and I repeat
What I’ve said, too many times and in too many ways. Bite my lip tear slips away:

Hi, Mom?...Um, I’m not okay.

I am my home
There can’t be any other
Can’t occupy another
Distinct chromosomes

This home is not my own
It holds far too much clutter
And the walls start to mutter
Mostly when I’m alone

This home is all I’ve got
So I learn which pipes leak
Pull out all the weeds
Recall everything I’ve been taught

My home is now my love
Shower it with health
Happiness becomes wealth
And my home fits like a glove

~kb

Head a hostile environment again
Emotion overthrows intelligence
Fragile skull accepts another beating
and indecency becomes preference

Absorbing black into gray matter
Meticulous infiltration;
Makes death a desire
and living a fear

Friendly fire
Mind battles disease, disease
obliterates mind to violence
collided with sharpened corners of myself
****** mess, wrong message

Swallowing hostile heavy medications,
contain my elation so that overjoy
doesn't morph into mania, or joy
Mass of electrons now inside
find nothing positive; thought paralyzed

Deviating cells that scare themselves
from the darkened sanguinary state.
wide eyed faces searching for a homeostasis
Far from stable since demon's rule

Constant epiphanies with no execution
turn to facts filed in brain catalogs
Fully aware solutions are there,
but the drawers are glued shut

~kb

Maybe I assume too much.
Dream of Fall in June too much.
Stare beyond the moon in lust.
Beg the stars for warmth and touch.

Seek the meaning of false rhymes.
Testing tempo, wasting time.
Mind beyond horizon lines
hides from eyes and warning signs.

Racing thoughts and tracing stare.
Fear drops by to stop and glare.
Fight, don’t let it take me there.
Inhale deep, become aware.

Look, and feet are on the ground.
Tether down this brain abound.
Silence, soul can feel the sounds.
A hopeful heartbeat proudly pounds.

~kb

Can’t seem to tell if this light is real
or just some rude glare
getting my hopes up.
Subconsciously avoiding it all,
playing roles to suit situations,
never dealing with the truth,
like a widow who still makes
breakfast for two.
Peeled away from the glue of reality,
finding a better adhesion in avoidance.

Unwinding a mind that’s been tethered
to the same ideas for years proves tedious and redundant.
It’s all just memories,
hauntingly replaying the past,
or getting caught in conjured up
apparitions of the future:
there is no truth here.
Only distorted perceptions
that turn to deception and a saving grace
for the face we would rather not show.

And we run like clocks, ticking thoughts
like time bombs fueled by fear for the future,
as youth has failed to learn to tell time.
The seconds are never long enough,
yet are frivolously coaxed to go faster.

Conflict becomes nonexistent,
too afraid to look it’s direction.
Choose selections that are selfish,
but easier to manage.
Staying silent strangers,
like blind men in a house of mirrors.


~kb

I’m almost invisible
like a blind hem stitch.
Like the world is deaf
but I sing in perfect pitch.
A girl without arms
yet I hold on to everything.
A lover for a lifetime
with no wedding ring.
An exquisite ballerina
without any toes.
A runway model
without any clothes.
I’m standing in front of you
but you move right through me.
A tormented ghost
with no haunting ability.
Undetectable, unseen,
like ultraviolet light.
In daytime I sleep
and appear in twilight.
The only person able
to create shadows at night.
Silently choking on black,
face a sickly pale white.
With the thinnest of instruments
I thicken the plot.
A partial lobotomy
and I’m full of free thought.
My darkened grey matter gone,
color returns to my face.
The invisible girl
has been visibly erased.

~kb

She said,
“Give me your sadness
you don’t need it here.
Dry your tears, lose your fear, you know
I will always be here.
You always used to tell me
that I saved your life.
Those dark times were rough
you held me so tight.

But what I need you to know now
is how you’ve helped me,
so your journey can be free in your thoughts of me.
You would tell me you loved me
and show it even more.
From special cooked meals to wrestling on the floor.
You kept me warm at night, and cooled my head when I got a little heated.
And even now at the end, I still don’t feel defeated.

I had you in my life every step of the way.
From the birth of my children to this
dying day.
You have never failed to make me happy,
I just hope I can look down
and see you happy, too, and help you through the frowns.
I’ll look below, you look above.
Know that I’m there, and we still have
our love.”

She never spoke a word as she said this to me,
just those eyes that I gazed in said all that was needed.
A paw on my hand and a last wag of her tail,
I watched her pass, and began to wail.
I composed myself,
ready to face new fears.
As I stumbled outside, I dried my tears,
and I looked above, because she told me to.
And I could hear her saying,
“Don’t you worry, I’m here with you.”

I love the Joker and Harley Quinn,
but I don’t want to be so harsh.
We can be just like Luke and Leia,
but that’s gross and, kind of dark.
Bonnie and Clyde were badass together,
but I don’t like to hurt anyone.

So right now, just be my glowing moon,
and I’ll be your beaming sun.

-kb

I want to show everyone
I can be light too
I just need to get some
Energy from you
Just enough for a day
I’d appreciate it greatly
You’re the only person
I haven’t taken it from lately

~kb

Your ear lent to my pain
would be a blessing.
My self disdain
by your presence lessening.
Understanding unwanted,
nor needed through tears.
Ears enough to steer
thoughts away from their taunting
and haunting demeanor.
Thoughts become clearer
as sharply soft ears
utter, “I don’t understand,
but I’ll always be here.”

~kb

This path in front of me
may not always be what it seems
or what I dream
or what I want
or what I think I can handle
or what I think I can’t
it doesn’t even care what I
think at all
or if I’m scared I’ll fall
or afraid to get up
or stuck in a rut
or down on my knees
All it shows me
is exactly what I need
I get to choose how I proceed

~kb

My love for you lasted 7 years, and more,
Though I can’t say the same on your side.
I saw a picture today
Hit my gut
Put a peach pit lump in my throat
Of you
With her.
Kissing passionately
Putting love on display
Even though you told me you hate PDA.
And then I realized what our “love” was for:
Even if I wasn’t who you wanted,
I helped you find who you do,
And now you can love her more.
And I’m grateful for that.
Truly, I am.
Your new love wouldn’t be so good
If you were never my man.
And as for my love?
Now I’m sure I can.
We were meant to be
Meant to teach each other
the wild love we wanted
But could never tether together.

~kb

I wanted to bash my phone against my
skull until the right words could
fall out and you’d finally understand
because obviously what came out
of my mouth wasn’t clear enough for you. Sigh.
And all I ended up saying was sorry.
I took what should’ve been
your guilt and shame
and I owned it, along with my own.
And now you’re right, once again,
and the cycle continues
of this back and forth chess match of opposing opinions, except,
no matter the moves,
you get checkmate every time,
even if your King’s not even
on the board.
I’m bored of feeling disrespected
and called stupid.
I am lost in this relationship and
at a loss for words.
This present circumstance
is not what I wanted,
but thank you for the gift,
of knowing that I’m strong enough
to walk away,
despite your vile strategies
that keep me close to a monster.

~kb

I’m not changing anything this year
That’s my resolution
I’m letting go of taking control
Seeking an informal absolution
I’m letting me forgive myself
And letting the world forgive me
I’m not following any direction
From the wrong energy

I’m letting my journey
Unfold like a letter
Knowing the story
Will only get better

The lines are written in invisible ink
More will be revealed
I will change when I can turn the page
And rest to best be healed

~kb

I lie awake again in bed
The same worries fill my head
That kept me up the night before
Any problem I’ll look for
They’ll pop in my head drives me insane
Keep pressing the light switch
To try to shut off my brain
The strobe light attempt
Tells my brain it’s exempt
From having to overthink or worry
Just let my head go blank and blurry
Let me sleep just one night
Let me gain some strength to fight

~kb

And my life has become
one long horror feature.

In the church of bad decisions,
I’d be the preacher.

~kb

Sitting here outside,
I see the moon, hear crickets chirp.
Getting lost in sighs and swoon
to snippets of spring earth.
Waiting for rebirth
with eastern sun and lively air.
Praying I feel worth, concern is done,
this time, I’m there.
Wishing you were here,
but feel your heartbeat
with my eyes.
Fishing further tiers
reveal stars seated in the skies.
There I meet you, dear,
above the clouds amongst the light.
Where sweet dreams come true,
no fear, love bounds and
lust takes flight.

kbww

Picture Prompt: https://ap-pics2.gotpoem.com/ap-pics/contest/2717/9.jpg?FBIMG15460956

Bustling and busy
There used to be a city
Graced with healing Hudson waters
Dreamers dreamed with
Street corner schemes
Hopes soared higher than the skyline
But the timeline of our saddened state
This human race sped everything up
Blue water turned grey and
Foamed at the mouth swallowing light
Like a black hole
Leaving darkened streets
And acid fog met breath
It was too much to bare
For the weak we’d become
Abandoning homes for higher ground
The sound of tall buildings
Aching in the wind like they cry
For someone to stay
It never used to look this way
Like it quietly weeps alone
Space becoming limited here
Take our statue and move on

~kb

One poet asks another, “Is it quite possible that some of us are just stuck in a game of loving too much?”

The second poet answers, “My dear, we wouldn’t have poetry if we were in the game of loving too little.”

-Kbww

I’ve realized
Many poems
Are about love and ****.
But not one poem
About the love for themselves,
Romantic counterfeits.
You can’t love someone
If you don’t love you
So step on off with it.
Write the deep
Dark parts of you
Stop narrating your hypocrite.

~kb

Opaque, sapphire breath a fire to lungs
in this month to month crystal cover

March clover search is over
and I arch my wicked spine
ready for straight flame summer
Blue to you and life to me, this lucid dream, how it seems and what it is:
vast differences,
past inferences
change future scenarios and how it goes depends on me and if I believe
this dream came true or can some day
Or if I’m fixed in place this way,
catatonic and observant,
inner cosmic vibrations ensure that
oxygen levels have changed in my bloodstream
been replaced by obscene traces
of the dream I’m supposed to be chasing,
pacing this galaxy in my body to find
tails of trails that fail to exist
Amidst the inner midnight blue,
I’ve forgotten dreams,
sink like glue into my limbs
Think new sentences and synonyms
Links to letters that enter these rows,
create a new slow tempo of meanings,
rhythm intervening, leaning low

Body owed this lucid euphoria
Glass mind, and a smoky blue aura

~kb

Elusive love, for years I beg.
Stop tossing my heart
to your pile of dread.
I deserve the stars, the moon, the seas;
I deserve a place beyond my knees.

Offbeat heart ticks,
cards on bike spokes;
lust, impulse and,
my nerves are stroked.
Unaware you are bearing
your soft sequenced soul.
I read your frequencies,
and take control.

Just entertain this idea awhile.
See if your lips can part a smile.
If they do, take me away from here,
to the places banned
from thought and fear.

-kbww

Put convenience over necessity,
and necessary dies.
It can be seen upon the moon,
in sad and disappointed eyes.

~kb

Midnight gives beauty away to the cityscape
Skyline lights not even comparable  
To the space above them
The smell of plants opening for sustenance

Clouds pour down their dismay
Flowers appear in curious places
Fill desolate places with colors of promise
A smog filled fog threatens existence
The city destroys light’s beauty once more

Start the car and drive to distant fields
Surrounded by haunted trees
bellowing as the wind picks up
Set on fire by firework skies
Cold breaths and a colder chest
Burning trees a warmth to
frozen foliage and fingers
Fixated intently on the silence
The silence of being alone with the world
Calming as an owl’s call
And the most deafening absence of the city
Hoarding sparks thrown in the trunk of the
Car to save for those cursed blocked nights

Lay back on the bathroom floor
Load hoarded stars onto a skylight
Escape the city inside pretending
This tile floor is a field fixing me to it
Cut the circuit breaker
Bathe in beams of the galaxy
City can carry on in the wake
Of this makeshift nature
It’s fluorescence isn’t welcome here

~kb