A lab coat and a perfect life
With a perfect job
Compounding toxic chemicals
to solve a problem your gloved hands
know nothing about
Dissecting my brain
when you don’t even know my name
And I’m supposed to believe
you truly care about me
as you compact and ship these pills
to a stale pharmacy
Rattling bottles on
a cold drive home
I swallow this world you’ve created
Now I get to wait and see
what this does to me
Can it relieve this pain
or does it make it worse
You don’t care you collected
Get stalled at an intersection
Watch my hearse drive on by
with no clue you’re one
of the reasons I’m gone
Stay strong
there’s many more hearses to see
Keep making your medicine
and join the long line of the guilty

~kb

Exhausted beyond measure
yet the days are keeping time
Idled in the pleasure
of a soft unspoken rhyme
Dripping through the letters
seeps a meaning I call mine
Uninterested in whether
words can easily combine

~kb

Sometimes
when I’m talking to someone
I ask them if they like
music
They say yes, and maybe
name a few artists
Then I ask them
if they like
poetry
and they say
not really
never got into it
And I silently laugh to myself
yet break a little, too

~kb

Sullen face
Faded eyes
Pointed up
Midnight skies

Light stars
Heavy heart
True love
Lies apart

Shattered glass
Broken dreams
Tattered souls
Ripped seams

Moon glows
Sun’s mirror
Thoughts slow
Mind clearer

Now living
With stars
Moon love
No scars

No darkness
Just light
No you
In sight

~kb

Carry me gently to the moon
My heart hurts darkness makes me swoon
I need to be rid of this intense guilt
Let me curve like a cat on the moon’s tilt
Let me touch tips of stars
Feel their heat heal my scars
When shadow comes I’ll travel home
A new energy fills my bones
I tingle with stars the moon on my back
And no longer feel dark’s vicious attack

~kb

Life is all just more or less,
equal when times are right
Wrongly, I’ve become obsessed
with less more in this fight

More is a word for not enough;
please don’t ever want more of me
Weak and just a tad too rough
not enough is what I get to be

It’s why when I give you the most
the worst comes into play
I’d love to be your gracious host,
but most swallowed my best today

Better than I’ve ever been,
worse than more of you
Equal in most times of sin
when more is right on cue

~kb

What would truly be
poetry
for me
is if I could write as fast as my mind thinks.

~kb

Calendars fall from
Vibrating walls
Hear fireworks in the distance
I sit alone on my patio
Trying to find some resistance
To feeling cold and alone
Usually I’d be out with friends
Had a boyfriend for years
So I always had someone to kiss
And I can honestly say I do not miss
One bit of dressing up or
Making small talk over
Warm ranch dip
No
It’s fitting I start a new
Number on these pages alone
Hang a new calendar
New instructions
Make life my own
All this negativity can happily leave
Instructions
Day one:
Just Breathe

~kb

I don’t know what to do with myself,
I just keep feeling low.
I want to release the
pain from these bones
and feel a calming glow.
I tend to be fine some of the day
but it’s like somehow time takes that away
and by the end of the night I end up grey and,
I just don’t like feeling this way.

There’s nothing anyone one can do,
not my family not my friends, not even you.
This is the pain I must go through
if I want to make it to my ultimate view.
An ultimate me in all alternate planes,
surviving ultimately with no real pains.
Just the temporary stresses
that everyone feels
and temporary messes
that serve no reveal.
Just a normal life in less nervous skin.
I’ll go through the strife to find what’s within.
It’s worth every tear at the end of the day.
I just,
wish I didn’t feel this way.

kbww

It’s like
the whole world
went silent,
yet it’s so deafening here.

~kb

The coyotes are howling oddly tonight
Sporadic woes in various
Parts of the field, off tempo
Maybe they know the tone is changed
I’ve been alone for so long
The flow of my sporadic woes
Is off tempo, now that you’re here
I become quiet and wander
But the moon strikes my heart and my chords to let a howl soar
But you’re in the kitchen
So my cries become a muted whisper
And secrets I once shared
Float in the air above me
And I wonder if the moon
Still loves me, now that you’re here

~kb

Don’t tell me I don’t love you
It couldn’t be further from true
It’s just when I look at you
You aren’t the you that I thought I knew
I no longer have myself a space
Or a horse in this race
Or any adoring look on your face
I haven’t fallen out of love
I’ve simply
fallen out of place.

~kb

Sugar coated verbiage
Lengthy sentences
Phrases sink in sunk places
Spaces containing
Made up boxes
Fan open and spill
Plot twists and tone shifts
Into our visual ears
Eyes become narrators
Hard cover to unwanted thoughts
Get lost
In fantasy words
That make fantasy worlds
When pieced and assembled
Precision of a surgeon’s knife
Hidden in stamped black ink’s life
The title makes sense

~kb

There are three realities we live:
How we perceive ourselves and the world,
How others perceive us, themselves, and the world,
and reality- the truth of life without the interruption of perception.
Which reality is true? And how can one live in reality when it can’t exist as one entity?
Who am I, truly?
I am one of three
And none at all

Sway swiftly, silent heart.
Your brain connection is
closed.
Stare at your toes or Mars
or the stars, just,
don’t look in the mirror.
You won’t like what you
see there.
It’s two way and you are still
only looking at yourself.
A roundabout way to
end the day, circumference
in the way your soul stays:
Closed, and *****.

Open firmly.
Deflect the dread of
thoughts from your head that
do not lead to salvation.
Sit alone, no phones or
mindless calamity.
Just you and the alchemy
of your swift heart.
Cut the art of disconnecting;
soul begs to stir the light.
Become the start of life
transcending.
Be your beginning,
never your ending.

-Ww

Someone once told me
Just because I have an opinion
Doesn’t mean anyone needs to hear it

If people didn’t share opinions with me
I couldn’t be free to speak eloquently
And maybe disagree but get back on
Track and shake hands at the end
And feel my mind bend at new information
It’s the best way to learn and a
Human connection
As long as my input is true and kind
I often feel it necessary to speak my mind.

~kb

You’re a pacifist yet,
war sins in your skin
Mist of sick sweat
thin and diluted
Voice has been muted
Clued in and clueless,
opinions are useless
Divisions of truths
and selfish intentions
used and mentioned
to muse attention
in confused directions
Not a fuse or spark
can perfuse the dark
misused as protection

~kb

There’s a couple of owls
That sit near my house
Every single day

There’s actually five
I’ve seen them before
But only two seem to want to stay

There’s nothing quite like
Sounds of owls at night
Calming cool dark air

The pitch and the words
Of this ineffable bird
Warms my heart beyond compare

~kb

Choice in trepidation
With every palpation
your chest grows close enough
to feel my rhythm
And I’m smitten yet cynical
Brain stutters on whether or not
to accept this kiss
I’ve felt this bliss before
And I’m scared
Terrified to admit my heart
is feeling more
than I’d like it to
This back and forth game
plays in my brain
and my body simply
responds
Flush filling face
Warm lips embrace
And I wish I could just
press pause
I don’t want to see how this
plays out for me
I just want to stay
right here in this purity
Nothing in the future
Nothing in the past
Don’t make this a memory
Make it last

~kb

In a world of seven billion perceptions
I can’t wrap my head around
Someone telling me
I misunderstood them.
I understood in my head just fine,
didn’t miss a thing.
If I don’t understand as you do
Who are you to
Call me wrong?

~kb

You don’t have to know
The ways the body runs round
To know the soul gives the heart life
It’s what makes the sound
Of love just beginning
Or making an end
Or a dream coming true
A relationship on the mend
The soul makes the heart beat
Faster or slower
When you feel on top of the world
Or couldn’t get any lower

~kb

Sick with it
Spun and done
Get on with your negative nature
Spew insults after being kind
Swallowing others’ egos
Creature posing as a man
needs to work on posing stance
Deceit seeps through pores
glorified saying you’re moisturized
Burn you down eyes gouge out
Realize that fake are made of plastic
Puddle of a little man, where’s your ego now?

~kb

There’s this nerve occurrence
That happens in the brain
When you think of something
And at the same time feel pain
Or pleasure or love or
Complete distain
Emotion touches thought
At the very same time
And your body can feel
The brain to body rhyme
Like when you think it might be cold
And feel a chill on your back
A simultaneous attack
Leaves you racked with feeling
Or when you stare up at the ceiling
From your bed and covers
Imagining lovers entwined
And at the same time
Your body shudders
An ****** sensation
The same time as the thought
Has you caught and overcome
Tongue lips lips in a
Cry for someone
And I wonder what becomes
Of the thoughts I have
And you
I mean
Do you feel them too
When I think them at you
And is it true
Can our bodies’ synapses
Become adaptable
Is it practical to think
That you can feel
In real time when I think it
Because if so
Then you know
What I think about you
And then we can finally
prove telepathy true
And if you feel that love
That I think when I see you
Then I can’t help but wonder
Why I don’t feel yours too.

~kb

wingspan wide flies over
soft forest cries from
fires that turn family to embers
this cold december
branches cut off leaves no
hiding a polyfil frost over
ponds in dead woods
branches wet crack slow under
footsteps
each snowflake holding its own
clumped with cousins but
unique as me
and I cling tightly to
your exposed tree
cover your bark
hang tightly to your trunk
wait until I dissipate
from your sap wounds healed to
spring’s tune wanting nothing to do
with a lonely melted crystal
I need it to be winter a while
so I have your smile
and I walk the miles
trudging through snow
to find what I know
that tempered tall tree is
waiting for me
to remind me
winter ended
and as one single flake I could’ve never
defended my tree territory
to the urging of the sun
it’s number one
tree takes care of self pushes me to a
puddle
and grows in good health
and now the trees look the same
and I play a frustrating game of
finding my tree they all look alike
with friends and flowers
you purposefully hide yourself
and I’m left wandering
a drop of water alone just
waiting for the cold.

~kb

There was a light in her
like I’ve never seen before.
That purity in a person,
the kind you can’t ignore.
She’d call me from
her bedroom floor
to talk about life,
what we're here for.
But I knew all along
a monster played in her head.
We tried to keep it tamed,
but she was hanging by a thread.
You seemed so content
when you called me those days.
I felt ok for you,
you’d find your way through the haze.
But the next call from you
wasn’t your voice.
It was someone else’s
telling me of your choice.
I cried and fell weak
to the unforgiving floor.
I wouldn’t be hearing
your voice anymore.
I know that you suffered
so greatly, my love.
Just know that I know
you’re smiling down from above.

~kb

Sometimes I feel like
I take others’ pain
The things they can’t handle
I take the remains
I want to believe this
As my pain is so deep
But if one who suffers like me
Can get a night’s sleep
Then I’ll take their pain all night
And stay up to the sun
And if it works
I’ll take suffering from everyone
Because I’m far too gone
Suffering is my norm
Give me all of your rain
And I’ll weather your storm.

~kb

Almost forgot how to do this.
Concealer then foundation,
or the other way around?
I shouldn’t be doing this this isn’t me.
What am I
thinking?
Ugh, just get ready.
No wonder this takes so long
it’s filled with too much dialogue
and thought.
Criticizing every pore on your face
takes time
but they need the pep talk to act right.
Brown or blue... who
am I kidding? I’m not the owner
of some symmetrical bone structure
I don’t even have eyebrows,
how could I think blue would be an option?
Smokey eye and lung
put out my smoke on my tongue
while I tease a last little hair in the mirror,
like it won’t fall
exactly where I don’t want it to again.
Like I won’t fall
exactly where I don’t want to again.

~kb

I hear you crying, darling
Pillow stained with tepid tears
I’ve spoken many ‘sorries’,
wordy weights for fragile ears

Youth abducted by this mess
Rehearsed faces to survive
Reddened bracelets to impress
demons comfortable inside

Promises prove hard to hold;
heavy burdens, arms grow weak
Taken by a mind so bold:
Vocal chords go mute to speak

Falling down while growing up,
never takes the easy way
Grave tightrope she stands atop,
tends to fall one way each day

Balancing while punching ghosts,
falls the wrong way off this rope
Rest is best, stay numbly dosed
Darling, sleep and dream of hope

~kb

Hair catches light and shines
a violet prism on pages
Sage bushes push their scent from
the edge of the garden
Watch hummingbirds
sip through small straws
Dogs sing songs
of annoyance while wind chimes
fight to be louder
And only a few orange ornaments
remain on once flowered foliage
Life and death grace the same soil
and have everything
and nothing to do with one another
Shift from relaxation with nature
to thoughts of the nature of life
Been set aside in that regard and
in the survival of the fittest I’d lose
Pen warmed to overflow
Start writing a
survivor’s guide to a poet’s mind

~kb

Where’s the research
on this physiological attack
that sends me back
Proof our brain changes in these moments
but no one
can wrap a ******* shred
of their head around it
yet it’s the very thing
that gives them
intellect to begin with
I’m sick of it
Don’t lower me to not meet your
unattainable standards
you haven’t met them either
Work on you
This work on me though
Suicide’s taboo
I’m suicidal too but
pretend I was quiet and gentle as
snow hitting rooftops when I spoke that
White face and blue lips you
had to see in the reflection of the
frost glow window
just to believe
there was a part of me
all along that I told you about
causes me to shout
Life isn’t fair
don’t want to see breath
in cold air means
I’m still alive
driving toward hope that
keeps speeding too far past
for me to catch up
and I stop the chase because
I can’t afford the ticket
Can’t stand living
in this body with a brain
that doesn’t work
it keeps turning on and off
And if this is all a dream
I wish I never fell asleep

~kb

Heavy in argument
Opposing sides
And both are right
Right?
Because now it’s not ok
to have an opinion
Because now the term fact
has a new definition
Because now being smart
is condescending
Because now being offended
is some violent offense
On the fence about how all of this will go
Truth is no one really wants to know
We just keep taking our pain out on each other
Hate will continue to prey under this
clouded cover
This fog not lifting should make you shudder

~kb

Barrel of gun to temple
I turn straight so it’s between my eyes
If this is my demise let it be
There’s no connection between series of me
This episode holds my demise
I told you, between the eyes
Push closer and hand wavers
Supposed to be my savior
and you’re doubting yourself
Reach hand back to distract
Kick up gravel with a quick shift
And a pedal to the carpet
Escape one death still seeking another
I’m leaving this place dead or dying
I have no emotion attached to either
Crazed in experience and falling deeper

~kb

I can’t stand

I fall every time

The clock ticks your heartbeat

Sinus rhythm with mine

Blows up to my brain

Releasing strange chemicals

A reaction so soothing

Rub my back pet my hair

Lengthen every second you are here

There’s no question the connection

Four seconds and I knew

Love was meant for this

The intertwining of two.

~kb

On a killing spree you’ve made a
skin of me. Settle down relax to see
if it fits ok. I don’t want it anyway,
there’s too many memories dressed up
as scars that even stars can’t heal,
and you’re far more wounded than me.
You need to graft your own wounds,
stop continually stitching them up
with slips of thread that just won’t hold.
Take my mold and add it to yours
and you won’t need to be afraid anymore. And I can be free too,
knowing I freed you.

~kb

There has to be some sort of
symmetry my soul is missing.
It seems I see the gore that
endlessly grows on within me.
I also see the lights of
actuality and love.
But calls from me for sight
in reality get lost above.
I know someone is listening
beyond the words I pray:
if so, the sun will glisten
neon rays on me someday.
Until this time, I travel the sky,
the moon to light my way.
And in this rhyme, I unravel why
I wish soon to sight the day.

kbww

Heart mended just enough
To get back in, wet my feet
Bathe in sin.
Gravity pulls me in.
It's from the wrong place
Wrong space, wrong morals
Sheds light on a glorified horror.
A sparkle and I'm fully submerged
Urged to purge my ****** pores
And fully bathe you in my unrelenting
*****
Disinterested in the mended heart's desire
Only wanting a **** and a relationship funeral pyre.
Can't help my drive, no sorry from my lips
You'll get your wish below my hips.
All I'm good for or good at
Either way, you're a ******* diplomat
Fill my body with your monotone seed
Watch me dress and let me leave.
Burn the pyre a little more
I'll still come back, cuz I'm just a *****.
Text you tomorrow, you never respond
Like a man without mirrors
You see nothing wrong
With leading me on
Leading me in to your trap
And I keep coming back, because a ***** needs her stage
She needs the false recognition
Of a distant spotlight
A false warmth and a glow of your empty heart's cage
Trapped me inside like I'm something of use
And even when I'm not, I'll accept the abuse.
You want nothing more than my body and skin
And in sin I'll deny the heart mended within
Deny my heart's pressure of beating out more than the only thought left
That I'm just a *****.

I’m sorry I can’t be more positive for you
My life just seems like it’s coming unglued
For a woman of strength and fortitude
My mind seems to have an attitude
I’m not ungrateful,
I’ve carried my crosses
I’ve made my gains but keep
Comin’ up with losses
And it might seem strange
But I kind of like it here
I like to reflect on
the girl in the mirror
She’s hopelessly hopeful
And tries to be vocal
The pain she endures
They don’t understand but ensure
That it’ll all be ok
Knowing that’s just what they say
When nobody knows
My subconscious grows
And I take it all back
Now I know all the facts
This isn’t my fault it’s a
Brain assault and I’m
Not sorry
Anymore
This brain is more
Than who I am
And if I can stand what
The darkness pushes out
You can stand the occasional pout
Just don’t ever tell me to smile
It’s pandering and just not my style


~kb

My soul is a cannibal.
Eats my words,
spits them out on a page
in such a delicate way
that I don’t even
know
the words aren’t mine.
They belong to the cannibal,
not my intelligent mind.
I regurgitate its’ feast
in slowly played rhymes.
And every shot at my soul
creates a hole
in my brain.
I’ve tried
to become
linguistically anorexic
to starve the monster
and no longer write
so it has nothing to
bite.
But the clamoring thoughts,
like a symphony of bells,
calls my soul to dinner,
and keeps my words
spilling
out of it’s ugly mouth.
I just hope someone hears
me in the writings
before hell drives me south
and the soul’s mouth
reaches up
for my heart.
The end will
be my start.

~kb

The writers
The poets
The painters
The 3 AM, fingers hurt, brain stirring creators
The perfectionists
The ones who see lines others don’t
The ones that make magic of color,
blindly constructing new hues
that sparkle souls
The coffee dependent nicotine optional private spaces and nostalgic places thinkers
The sunset embracing never picture taking beauty only felt by the soul nature lovers
The lost, the ones that have no idea the gifts they possess
The one’s whose aura floats
masking senses stirring emotions

I need you.
The world needs you.
For what is a world without the beauty of creation?
I don’t want to know.
Expose your soul.
Parts of yours keep mine from breaking.

She’ll touch places
you didn’t think could be found
in spaces you promised
no one was allowed
and you’ll carry her with you
without even knowing
what makes a shine to her skin
like she shines from within
and spreads a glow throughout
each room she graces
leaves light on faces
makes a home look richer
The best woman to love
is one made out of glitter

~kb

A newer spectrum
starts to develop in a once
dark room
The negatives finally create
something beautiful
Thin pod sprouting roots
trading grey for green
Life moves like a
movie scene
Unknown unexpected
Grab hold little vines
Take pictures for proof
Keep time and patience
Wait for new gradients
to be revealed
Soul healing in color
Body healing in sound
Feet firm on the ground floor
of this home
New tones
New visual and harmonic bones
Relationship strong between
plant and soil
And the spectrum changes intentions

~kb

One of the most intricate organs
in the body, we give so much credit to,
but can’t use it to acknowledge
it can be sick, too.

~kb