I’m having a difficult time here, you see,
my mind keeps bartering my reality
for a few hits of bliss and impulsive bruises
and a subsequent list of bad excuses
I’ve been here before it’s what diseases do
But I know the cure and who to talk to

I dial my friend with vibrating fingers
A sweet soft hello gently lingers
My voice box has shut off there’s no remote
Streams of tears down to my throat
“What’s wrong honey are you okay?”
No I say in an angry way
I’ve ******* up again and can’t get it back
This life is just one vicious attack
I don’t know where to go or what to do
She softly laughs, “Yes you do.”
“You’ve felt this despair before
But I have to laugh at what you look for
You have conquered this demon in the past
Stop ******* about it and get off your ***
Start doing the things that bring integrity
Start going to places you used to find peace
But stop blaming your disease
Just beacuse it brings you more ease
And please start letting
Something spiritual in
Let go of false control and gain some new
Enlightenment.”

I hung up the phone nothing to say
Tomorrow will be the newest of days.

~kb