My opinion--
Life's worth living
Culture says,
"Might as well."
Problem is:
It won't sell
Death's addictive
But the price to live
Is worth the pay
So I will say,
"Please stick around.
I'll have you found."

Oh,
                                    it's such a
                                                  pitty


      ­                                       to

                               release          a
                                              ­           thought


        and be          greeted with

                                                  silence.

I don't want to write about rootless things, that'd just be tending to the heatless fire
I want to write words that will inspire
But I feel like I'm not accomplishing what I desire
Oh Lord, take me higher

If I fly, will it be a pie in the sky?
But I’d feel like that’d be lying
Because every day a part of us is dying
But I’m trying, because it wouldn’t feel right
To look to the sky when everything’s alright

My mind recieves mores code
Messages most don't know
Channeling things to me
Told me I'm gone but no
Information I must take slow
Is anyone capable of listening?

Most mornings he wakes up before the sun,
to a time before the dawn has yet begun,
where he rows out to sea and throws his net,
for the moon, he doesn't sleep long,
in a world where the stars never set.

Pages in one hand and his heart in the other,
he projects words into the glistening moonlight,
poems he kept sheltered like a mother,
afraid to let her children out into the dark night,
hurling crazed words at the sway of the ocean.

He stayed up all this night fishing for the stars,
a slur to his words but the gist without falter,
unconscious this enmity and affection,
was adressed to his reflection,
his poems dead yet lively in the water.

This is your story, do not be ashamed
May this be the telling of your journey
Let your hands open up like gates
And your fingers flow like streams
Your plans, the pallet on which you walk
The ground on which you paint
Brush the canvas your Creator has made
So may forests grow, and mountains be lifted
May oceans part, and waters be stilled
All by the grace and power of God
For He was with us from the clay
And stands by our side until our last day
Because these poems are your story
So do not be ashamed, do not let it cage
Instead, may this be the telling of His glory

There's something about a blank
college-ruled notebook.
When I see one in the store, or even
just a page laying out on the table,
I'm enthralled.
I see opportunity, adventure, a
spark of creativty, and a mind
longing to roam free.

People pour out straight light
But that doesn’t seem exactly right
I don’t believe that’s straight truth
Because there’s truth in the night
So I’m going down to help you out

I don’t believe in breath as to talk
I like what you can do with chalk

I won’t drag my nails on a blackboard
Rather I’ll let it passively pour

I don’t believe in breath as to talk
I like what you can do with chalk

Give me a new perspective, a new elective
A dialect I can elect to project
Something so I can feel protected
But is this Your elective I’m rejecting?
Is the addict for good or for evil?
Is the steeple for preaching or people?
I should have spoken and offered the key
But still I left us both diseased
So will I speak or will I please?
Is this for You or is it for me?

For long enough I've tended to a heatless fire
Scared of labels they press to uninspire
Tried to convince me this gloom was nothing
Then you'd think I'm demented or something
But at the same time my aloneness was hyped
Making me think I was of the insane type
But it's nice to hear my thoughts bounce off of you
Otherwise I don't know how I'd make it through

I feel bound by these lines, using the same old rhymes
It’s the same crimes every time
The same debate between dying
Is it my duty to keep going back to this music
Re-do it, to prove that, He uses
Our flaws to draw them all to calling?
Am I falling and balling to honor is this all that
I’m called to, to show you, through my music?

So many songs and I don’t know which belong
So many songs and I don’t know which go wrong

I wonder if it's still you,
because it's no longer the feeling I continue to miss, it's  y o u.

Dipping into the ripping is crippling
I lean towards the twisty, it can get me kinda misty
But I simply, need a little twisting
Fitting, for the sipping I want printing
He’s witty, and can be a little slippery

I know 2am far too well
I recognize the darkness in which I dwell
I know it front, back, and inside out
I recognize the crazed words my demons shout
I know that even under my sheets
I will loose myself in the night's deep
I believe there's a reason why I won't sleep
I can dream of a morning though now I weep

Who are we deep deep down
Initially?
flesh
or Blood?

Tower of Silence - Track 9

Hook
Hey
Wouldn’t it be great
If we could sleep away
The hours that abate
And wake up the next day

Hey!
Wouldn’t it be great!
If we could sleep away!
The hours that abate
And wake up the next day

Verse 1
But still I fear
When the day is done
And the night draws near
I pray I can overcome the setting sun

Pre-Chorus
I will stay awake tonight
Keep me alive until morning light! God

The night, has just, begun

Chorus
For the dark will not take me captive
I will not be a prisoner to the setting sun
I will play no part in the daylight’s declination
For my demons have no hold on me
I will set my heart ablaze
And you may come all you want
You have no plans, I’m free

Verse 2
I know 2am far too well
I recognize the darkness in which I dwell
I know it front, back, and inside out
I’m familiar with the crazed words my demons shout
But still clouded with all the doubt they bring
This is why I really hate the weekends
Because I’m face-to-face with all my demons
I know that even under my sheets, I fear
I’ll loose myself in night’s deep, still here
I believe there’s a reason why I won’t sleep
I can dream of the morning though now I weep

Pre-Chorus
I will stay awake tonight
Keep me alive until morning light! God

The night, will come, again
The night, will come, again
The night, will come, again

Chorus
For the dark will not take me captive
I will not be a prisoner to the setting sun
I will play no part in the daylight’s declination
For my demons have no hold on me
I will set my heart ablaze
And you may come all you want
You have no plans, I’m free

Hook
Hey, hey
Wouldn’t it be great
If we could sleep away
The hours that abate
And wake up the next day-ay-hey hey hey hey!

Verse 3
For a second, I thought I was moving past the feeling
But I reckon, every room I step in there’s only darkness beneath the ceiling
I’m better today than I have been
But I can’t expect it again to happen
Lately it’s been worse than it has in a while
But I know it’s just my faith under trial
I’ve been tested like a ship at sea
The winds and the waves have come to suit me
I fancy the darkness’ mutters
I doubt the nihility shutter
But in time I know I will recover
For peace and strength comes from no other
Recently I’ve been worse than I usually am
I wonder if I’ve chosen it, how to undo it if I can
I know the night will come again
But to play a part in the dark will not happen
I can’t choose every moment to live in the day
Even if I tell myself to think that way, the feeling won’t stay
One day I will get over this wall of stone
Though now I know I’m so far from home
For now I am fighting to reach the morning light
Deciding what must die and where I need to fight
I’m taking a stand to split up my mind
And one day I know I will leave behind the night
I’ll rely on the peace granted through the pain
Like a drought awaits Your replenishing rain

Pre-Chorus
I will stay awake tonight
Keep me alive until morning light! God

Refrain
The night, will come, again
Moving past the feeling
Slowly I’m letting go
Moving past the feeling
Slowly I’m letting go, again

Bridge
All these buzzards won’t stop
Make them quit
All these buzzards won’t stop
Make them quit
tHEY’re talking too quick, quick, save me
tHEY’re talking too quick, quick, save me
tHEY’re talking too quick, quick, save me!
(Hey!)
Quick, quick, save me!
(Hey!!)
Quick, quick, save me, please!!
(Make them quit)
(Make them quit)

Verse 4
The devil can’t even see
What’s right in front of me
So why would he do these things
If he already knows who reigns
(I don’t know!—he’s dumb)
Why does he think he can change the outcome?
So let’s fight in the fact that God has already won

Outro
Let our faith be sung, for they only come
When the day is over, in fear of what is done
They fight in fear of what we’ll do
The greatness of our God lives through
Can’t you see that they are scared?
Let them taunt you in prepared
The night has lost, so come if you dare

I must have forgot
You can't trust me
I forget I am bought
My heart will open for a moment
But then the next thing you know it
I'm lost at sea
In this ocean of emotion
I'm in a battle of what I feel
And what is real
Tie my head to a noose
But just loose enough
So I can breathe
Balancing everything equally
Then darkness won't become me

I could take the easy way
I could use one of the rootless poems
One without the depth of what I write for
Then they wouldn't know
They would just see talent
And I wouldn't have to fear for what they think
What they think about my thoughts
I'm afraid to get the truth that I'm alone
If it affected no one, or if no one spoke up
Then they would know, and I'd still be alone
But would I do it, if there was one person?
One person in that crowd,
Only one that fears their mind,
Who feels alone
Would I do it for them,
To let them know that there's more put their,
More like them?
Even if everyone figured out what I think?

I’m looking back in the woods
I know that I could
I see a forest, earnest for me to go towards it
But I don’t feel drawn like a was before
Yet I know the dawn will break in retort
But I can see through the trees right now
At how I got through the wondering about
And I reflect on the previous thicket
To those first poems I has written
About not believing the fields were real
But then I experienced the glorious seal
But then again I denied the deal
And relied again on what I feel
Right now I’m going back to that metaphor
To help me again in going toward
I have been going forward all this time
But that is because of someOne divine
The line is not straight, but there’s the gate
Always there with the line drawn in the sand
So I won’t toss about like a boat without land
I am docked, even when my ship is rocked
Because I know of the final island
And I will sing to Eden
In the darkness of the highlands
Unlocking the rocky road to freedom

I wanna pout, scream and shout!
Let it all out, fuss around!
Down for the count, freak you out!
But that ain’t His mouth, that ain’t His fount
That’s just my font, I’d like the flaunt
Because it taunts anyways, and I thought
If I haunt it, it would eventually stop

A droplet of sorrow,
with the pitter-patter song of tomorrow.

i’m being sentimental...
                                            ...but i still
                                               miss you

Jesus, I want the skin on Your bones
How am I Your kin if I’m the only one alone?
Did you mean it, did You feed it?
Was all lost, up on that cross?
Jesus, I want the skin on Your bones
To show me You win when You roll back that stone
How’d You stay awake those three days You were dead?
Because it’s the weekend again and I’m so lonely, unfed

Tame my tongue, for the lessons you want
So they will be sung, so I’ll put down my gun

Tower of Silence - Track 11

Hook
I’ll keep on going
If you keep on showing
Yeah I’ll keep it going, for you
If you keep on showing, up to
I can’t see it no, oh oh
But if you deem is so, oh no
I will go, oh oh
I will go, oh no

Verse 1
An ode to the darkness
I owe it to who fought this
To the One who saved me
And no, it wasn’t just a daydream
I prob’ly lost a lot of me
But thanks anyways—you set me free
I won’t consider it a loss—made it out to be the dark that has lost
My mind buckles in shotty, the darkness taking over my body
I’m sorry, but I’m taking back what belongs to me
I’m taking a break from these things where I stored my emotion
It causes too much commotion
I’m putting my mind on cruise control
I’m letting the Lord above take it all
But the truth is, I can’t cut ties with the silence
The dangerous are those who face the violence
It will always be here
My mind will always tied to the side that’s easier
But I’ve found a way to fight it
Take the darkness as a weapon and light it

Chorus
There’s still silence admits the sound
Determined to wear me down
All around, I’m srround–
–ed, and pound–
–ed, into the ground
I’m hounded like those long dead
Found, now I’m grounded
And surrounded
By something far more profound

Verse 2
I started the car, but I never got that far
I stayed until the air drew thin, even then
I waited for my death, stripping myself of breath
But then my Savior opened the garage and saved me from my *******
See how you’re alive—it’s for a reason
Though you may be barely breathing
So it’s time for us to drive out and pet the Lord direct our route
Because we’re all writing suicide notes, just for the fun
But to forget what we wrote, we must first put down the gun
Please hear this—it’s okay to come before in submission
With hesitation and opposition
Chamber loaded while holding the ammunition
Because if you’re like me, your brain is bloated with floating questions
I must warn you of my condition
Could it really be anxiety and depression?
It’s a disorder I have yet to oblige
For now, for you, I’ll call it a thorn in my side
But I promise you everything will be alright
I’ll get through and I’ll be just fine
It’s a blessing I’ve come to realize
So don’t be afraid of what I feel assigned
This thorn in my side may give me some fear
But I’ve come to understand why it is here
This weakness is not something to hide behind
But a way for me to finally find
Those who are going through the same exercise
Learning with these people how to empathize
And teaching me that I must learn to consign
My thoughts and fears to let Him guide
May these sufferings be scars of my loyalty
And strengthen me in God’s sovereignty
I will endure the thoughts I face all day long
Because it is in the Father that I belong
Were it not for Him, I would have given to the grave
But in His power and goodness, I am saved

Chorus
There’s still silence admits the sound
Determined to wear me down
All around, I’m srround–
–ed, and pound–
–ed, into the ground
I’m hounded like those long dead
Found, now I’m grounded
And surrounded
By something far more profound!

Hook
I’ll keep on going
If you keep on showing
Yeah I’ll keep it going, for you
If you keep on showing, up to
I can’t see it no, oh oh
But if you deem is so, oh no
I will go, oh oh
I will go, oh no

You say You’ve died for my sins
But is it a sin when my thoughts begin
To bend in the wind, and then
I’m feeling all my demons again?
Is it that I’m denying the truth?
Is it my fault that I’m haunted by rues?
I know that You will not lose
Just why does this have to be my cruise?
I worship but still I feel so lonely
Is this something You’re showing me?
When I get close, I’m struck with apathy
Overwhelmed with emotions attacking me

My emotions are so black and white
I’m not even putting up a fight
I think that you’re right
I’m just black
I’m going back
It’s a heart attack

This headache is my own mistake
It's the siren let off in warning of this mindframe
Because my game is to play with my brain
I live in the pain of what my mind has made
It's a migraine—the absence of light
It represents a test as I walk through the night
I've been tested with no rest to walk by sight
Can you hear this distress call?
Something's not right

I’m not alone in my loneliness
I’m in a war like many were before
I’m in a battle like other cowards
Along with the houses around town
I’m not gonna let them down tonight
I’m gonna put up a fight
If not for me, for all the other teammates
And I believe, we’ll win at this rate
And even if they choose to take their life
I’m not choosing to take mine
Cause there’s another standing in line
So why would I give up on them
If we intend to impend carrying on then
Cause the dark has no right
To any houses around town
So I’m not gonna let them down tonight
I’m gonna put up a fight

We have enough faith to say
That we do not exist
As we live every single day
If it’s a reality like this

I’ve been pressing ******* to my temple
Wishing it was a bit more simple
When I should be pressing them to my wrist
Just to know there’s a pulse within

the best feeling in the world
is to simply feel like yourself

I search for  s o m e t h i n g

   between the lines,
                                                         Something
as if there's something more.             I dream
                                                          about
                                               Then it's    gone.

I want to have it,
                                 To be freed by it.
           it's like
         a song.              I can't
                             get out of my head

Actions speak louder than poetry,
so do no fill your words with promise,
when really your heart has let them hallow.

So much content
Should it all be on it

I went hiking yesterday
And I thought of a poem just for you
It may not rhmye
But I hope it helps you out sometime
With whatever you're going through
So here it is, without further delay ~

When you're hiking
Don't get so caught up on where your footing is
Stop and take a look around
Enjoy the scenery
Or else you'll get a spiderweb in your face

I have something to confess
Before I make another fourteen track step
Don’t look at this as me moping
Sure I may need some more soaping
For the dark about to come out my mouth
But I think it’s part of the kaleidoscopes
And I think it’s part of the steaming found
And I can’t really hold with back with a rope
I’ve given myself some time to know it more
So that it won’t be like just another eyesore

I use to feed on emotion
as if there was a stomach inside my brain.
I would chew on dark thoughts,
feasting on the thought that I'm insane.

But now I find on source of energy elsewhere,
on something that is set apart.
I feed on the joy in community and discipleship,
as if there is a stomach in my heart.

Does it work?
To shove light down their throats?
Apparently it does, praise be to God because
But does it feel short? Like a buzz a bit?
Short of our suicide notes
Tell me if I’m wrong
But I feel like I’ve been placed here to remain
As a different form of worship song
To drive with you in your lanes
Not to take the blame but raise His name

I’ve doubted if it has to do with seasons
I’ve just made it past the spring leap
It’s getting warmer, and I’m doing better
Is it correlating, with those past reverberations

Maybe I’m just lonely
I know I don’t need a relationship right now
But maybe we could just be
I know you’re good so I was wondering how