If I didn't know better
I'd think you look a bit dead
Like a zombie with a limp
Hands held in front just for the thrill
But you're just sleepwalking
Scared of the pace of change
Afraid to fall put of formation
Talking just to say nothing
Walk with a hunch just proves nothing
I can't be the only one prone
To saying something
We stay in place
For the sake of our comfortability
But for the sake of fairness
And in the spirit of awareness
Can we try out this new point of view
Step around the corner and out of place
Give your life to something better
It's time to wake up

Most mornings he wakes up before the sun,
to a time before the dawn has yet begun,
where he rows out to sea and throws his net,
for the moon, he doesn't sleep long,
in a world where the stars never set.

Pages in one hand and his heart in the other,
he projects words into the glistening moonlight,
poems he kept sheltered like a mother,
afraid to let her children out into the dark night,
hurling crazed words at the sway of the ocean.

He stayed up all this night fishing for the stars,
a slur to his words but the gist without falter,
unconscious this enmity and affection,
was adressed to his reflection,
his poems dead yet lively in the water.

I could post the depressing lines in my head
The flow is smoothe and the lines resonate
I could hold a celebration for another name
But the words would save me before I dissipate
Then that would just be returning to the dead
I've decided that between who would die
Ultimately I choose my name to be lame
And I choose my Father to glorify
So between you and I, I'll write for you instead

My premise, would have been my demise
Chalk full of lies, my head hung high
The modus ponens, my mind now opened
Cloaked in codes, now a humble abode
The reprise, will open eyes
Just don’t say it’s unspoken
Take notes, and hold Your tokens
There is hope, coming with vies

I’m not alone in my loneliness
I’m in a war like many were before
I’m in a battle like other cowards
Along with the houses around town
I’m not gonna let them down tonight
I’m gonna put up a fight
If not for me, for all the other teammates
And I believe, we’ll win at this rate
And even if they choose to take their life
I’m not choosing to take mine
Cause there’s another standing in line
So why would I give up on them
If we intend to impend carrying on then
Cause the dark has no right
To any houses around town
So I’m not gonna let them down tonight
I’m gonna put up a fight

I wanna pout, scream and shout!
Let it all out, fuss around!
Down for the count, freak you out!
But that ain’t His mouth, that ain’t His fount
That’s just my font, I’d like the flaunt
Because it taunts anyways, and I thought
If I haunt it, it would eventually stop

No, you don't have to keep me down from ledges
Or steal from me razor blades and shoe laces
But prop your door open with wooden wedges
For when I enter into these dark places

Dipping into the ripping is crippling
I lean towards the twisty, it can get me kinda misty
But I simply, need a little twisting
Fitting, for the sipping I want printing
He’s witty, and can be a little slippery

There's danger in the lines of these rhymes I make
Maybe I shouldn't tell you but it's kinda late
You should probably be concerned with my mental state
I fear I'm a product of this culture
Just another soul convinced it's over
A vulture, the poacher, taking fall to this world of overexposure
I feast on a past that's dead
Can't escape the thoughts in my head
I feel the pull begin as my faith will drain
I plummet on the thought that my mind's insane
My heart is with you somewhere but my head's not safe
The truth is all around my but my mind's not made

I’ve been pressing ******* to my temple
Wishing it was a bit more simple
When I should be pressing them to my wrist
Just to know there’s a pulse within

Oh,
                                    it's such a
                                                  pitty


      ­                                       to

                               release          a
                                              ­           thought


        and be          greeted with

                                                  silence.

These are my confessions, find rest in them
Deep thinking, I hope you see, and meeting
The God that gave you your brain
And now things shouldn’t be the same
Now that you know your Creator has made
And your death in debts has been paid
You can speak freely to your Father
And talk to Him about the things that bother
And I’m sure your questions will be answered
When you give your heart over to be prepared

I can't see where I'm going,
but like a blind man's hearing is heightened,
I will listen for the Lord's direction.

So many songs and I don’t know which belong
So many songs and I don’t know which go wrong

People pour out straight light
But that doesn’t seem exactly right
I don’t believe that’s straight truth
Because there’s truth in the night
So I’m going down to help you out

You let your demons win quietly
You talk assured as if I don't see
You raise up white flags most of these days
I was born with you so won't you stay
The voices come to you in the dark
I feel them stay as your mind departs
Here to take all that you thought you knew
They blow smoke as if I'm not with you
I hope they choke cause we'll smoke them out
They will not cast you out or take you down
Because in Christ your meaning is found

Tower of Silence - Track 1

Verse 1
I’ve tried to give up poetry as if it’s some sort of addiction
Poison to the heart as if I’m an addict—do you get my depiction?
Addicted to the page, confined to my mind—the paddock
I feel like a ****** who’s on it again
Writing another poem to a friend
For others to use it as I pretend
That I’m not another fanatic, devoted to the pen
I’m addicted to the waves
Tossed and blown about—their slave
They pull me asunder
Oh Lord, take me under, blow my cover

Chorus
No, I don’t know, what’s my direction
But I can accept the blind man’s perception
Take me under, blow my cover

Verse 2
My feet dangle up off the ground
I levitate above the sound
Ever since I was young, I’ve been on dope
Nowadays, I use it to be my rope
I’m just a *** head, I guess
Really it’s just my head, more or less
Am I just being dramatic? I’m emotional
I’m just ranting again, I regret what I told you
It’s just the cof-fee tal-king
So let me just be in my own world
Because I can’t explain what’s in whirl
So how could I be prepared to share
My faith with what’s beneath my hair
So bare with I’m a Thinker
So don’t listen if you rather be keeper, to yourself
Go throw it away and let me do myself
If you stick around keep it on a shelf
It’s therapy for me and it might be scary
It’s the wrists of a poet, my release yet my blade
It’s creativity so I know it, the control of pain
Like you I’m a user of dope
That doesn’t mean that I smoke, no
I’m talking about words with emotion
But sometimes I get lost in this ocean
Compulsive to smoking, I’m writing this hoping
That as my pen is my lighter
And my cigarette is the page
I can light your soul on fire
While keeping this addict in his cage
May your demons choke on the smoke
By the words that are the brume you consume

Chorus
No, I don’t know, what’s my direction
But I can accept the blind man’s perception
Take me under, blow my cover

Verse 3
Tie a noose around my brain with floating feet
Still breathing, my mind will not be able to seep
Choke of the lull, my throat hung on a leash
You demons have no hold on me—capeesh?
It’s a catharsis, but honest, it’s darkness
So it’s not for you if you’re heartless
I could post the depressing lines in my head
The flow is smooth and the lines resonate
I could hold a celebration for another name
At least it’d save me before I dissipate
Then that would just be returning to the dead
I’ve decided that between who would die
I choose my name to be lame and my God to glorify
So between you and I, I’ll write for you instead

Chorus
No, I don’t know, what’s my direction
But I can accept the blind man’s perception
Take me under, blow my cover

Oh Lord, take me under
Blow my cover

Tower of Silence - Track 9

Hook
Hey
Wouldn’t it be great
If we could sleep away
The hours that abate
And wake up the next day

Hey!
Wouldn’t it be great!
If we could sleep away!
The hours that abate
And wake up the next day

Verse 1
But still I fear
When the day is done
And the night draws near
I pray I can overcome the setting sun

Pre-Chorus
I will stay awake tonight
Keep me alive until morning light! God

The night, has just, begun

Chorus
For the dark will not take me captive
I will not be a prisoner to the setting sun
I will play no part in the daylight’s declination
For my demons have no hold on me
I will set my heart ablaze
And you may come all you want
You have no plans, I’m free

Verse 2
I know 2am far too well
I recognize the darkness in which I dwell
I know it front, back, and inside out
I’m familiar with the crazed words my demons shout
But still clouded with all the doubt they bring
This is why I really hate the weekends
Because I’m face-to-face with all my demons
I know that even under my sheets, I fear
I’ll loose myself in night’s deep, still here
I believe there’s a reason why I won’t sleep
I can dream of the morning though now I weep

Pre-Chorus
I will stay awake tonight
Keep me alive until morning light! God

The night, will come, again
The night, will come, again
The night, will come, again

Chorus
For the dark will not take me captive
I will not be a prisoner to the setting sun
I will play no part in the daylight’s declination
For my demons have no hold on me
I will set my heart ablaze
And you may come all you want
You have no plans, I’m free

Hook
Hey, hey
Wouldn’t it be great
If we could sleep away
The hours that abate
And wake up the next day-ay-hey hey hey hey!

Verse 3
For a second, I thought I was moving past the feeling
But I reckon, every room I step in there’s only darkness beneath the ceiling
I’m better today than I have been
But I can’t expect it again to happen
Lately it’s been worse than it has in a while
But I know it’s just my faith under trial
I’ve been tested like a ship at sea
The winds and the waves have come to suit me
I fancy the darkness’ mutters
I doubt the nihility shutter
But in time I know I will recover
For peace and strength comes from no other
Recently I’ve been worse than I usually am
I wonder if I’ve chosen it, how to undo it if I can
I know the night will come again
But to play a part in the dark will not happen
I can’t choose every moment to live in the day
Even if I tell myself to think that way, the feeling won’t stay
One day I will get over this wall of stone
Though now I know I’m so far from home
For now I am fighting to reach the morning light
Deciding what must die and where I need to fight
I’m taking a stand to split up my mind
And one day I know I will leave behind the night
I’ll rely on the peace granted through the pain
Like a drought awaits Your replenishing rain

Pre-Chorus
I will stay awake tonight
Keep me alive until morning light! God

Refrain
The night, will come, again
Moving past the feeling
Slowly I’m letting go
Moving past the feeling
Slowly I’m letting go, again

Bridge
All these buzzards won’t stop
Make them quit
All these buzzards won’t stop
Make them quit
tHEY’re talking too quick, quick, save me
tHEY’re talking too quick, quick, save me
tHEY’re talking too quick, quick, save me!
(Hey!)
Quick, quick, save me!
(Hey!!)
Quick, quick, save me, please!!
(Make them quit)
(Make them quit)

Verse 4
The devil can’t even see
What’s right in front of me
So why would he do these things
If he already knows who reigns
(I don’t know!—he’s dumb)
Why does he think he can change the outcome?
So let’s fight in the fact that God has already won

Outro
Let our faith be sung, for they only come
When the day is over, in fear of what is done
They fight in fear of what we’ll do
The greatness of our God lives through
Can’t you see that they are scared?
Let them taunt you in prepared
The night has lost, so come if you dare

I don't want to write about rootless things, that'd just be tending to the heatless fire
I want to write words that will inspire
But I feel like I'm not accomplishing what I desire
Oh Lord, take me higher

This is your story, do not be ashamed
May this be the telling of your journey
Let your hands open up like gates
And your fingers flow like streams
Your plans, the pallet on which you walk
The ground on which you paint
Brush the canvas your Creator has made
So may forests grow, and mountains be lifted
May oceans part, and waters be stilled
All by the grace and power of God
For He was with us from the clay
And stands by our side until our last day
Because these poems are your story
So do not be ashamed, do not let it cage
Instead, may this be the telling of His glory

I know 2am far too well
I recognize the darkness in which I dwell
I know it front, back, and inside out
I recognize the crazed words my demons shout
I know that even under my sheets
I will loose myself in the night's deep
I believe there's a reason why I won't sleep
I can dream of a morning though now I weep

I feel bound by these lines, using the same old rhymes
It’s the same crimes every time
The same debate between dying
Is it my duty to keep going back to this music
Re-do it, to prove that, He uses
Our flaws to draw them all to calling?
Am I falling and balling to honor is this all that
I’m called to, to show you, through my music?

For long enough I've tended to a heatless fire
Scared of labels they press to uninspire
Tried to convince me this gloom was nothing
Then you'd think I'm demented or something
But at the same time my aloneness was hyped
Making me think I was of the insane type
But it's nice to hear my thoughts bounce off of you
Otherwise I don't know how I'd make it through

We have enough faith to say
That we do not exist
As we live every single day
If it’s a reality like this

I think I stopped for a girl
Because there’d be no love in that turmoil
And I stopped for my friend
She made it through and me back again
Turns out it was for the Savior
By Him and through Him He made it
Because I was not connected
When I cut myself by selection
But our God went ahead and intervened
Planting seeds between everything
That’s the way our God works
And by this love we are saved from hurts
I obliged and I thanked Him
I die by living for Him
It was no mistake and I was not His favorite
His love is for all at the door hinges

I wish I wrote a different song no one’s ever heard
I wish my mom would just admit she’s sick of every word
Overplayed, overstayed, it was a smash hit
Funny how overplayed songs sound like crap
I was told my true fans don’t like this song
But I hope they sing along,
I hope they sing along

I could take the easy way
I could use one of the rootless poems
One without the depth of what I write for
Then they wouldn't know
They would just see talent
And I wouldn't have to fear for what they think
What they think about my thoughts
I'm afraid to get the truth that I'm alone
If it affected no one, or if no one spoke up
Then they would know, and I'd still be alone
But would I do it, if there was one person?
One person in that crowd,
Only one that fears their mind,
Who feels alone
Would I do it for them,
To let them know that there's more put their,
More like them?
Even if everyone figured out what I think?

For a while I've known of Your native tongue
But now, a new level in my faith has begun
For a while I've only been known as stuttering
But now, trials produce faith like an evergreen

I wanna make a name for myself
But this tower is not to be built
And I did not address You
So You made us a messy tooth
But God defies His own odds
Because right after he made a promise
And after hundreds of years
He proved himself honest and clear

So don’t tell me quite now
I’m okay with that rouse now
Because I found out the voucher
A discount on our amount
That prevents us from feeling
A reinvented sort of seedlings
A halfway sort of meeting
Between everything and nothing
Varying on if I feel something

Jesus, I want the skin on Your bones
How am I Your kin if I’m the only one alone?
Did you mean it, did You feed it?
Was all lost, up on that cross?
Jesus, I want the skin on Your bones
To show me You win when You roll back that stone
How’d You stay awake those three days You were dead?
Because it’s the weekend again and I’m so lonely, unfed

Actions speak louder than poetry,
so do no fill your words with promise,
when really your heart has let them hallow.

I search for  s o m e t h i n g

   between the lines,
                                                         Something
as if there's something more.             I dream
                                                          about
                                               Then it's    gone.

I want to have it,
                                 To be freed by it.
           it's like
         a song.              I can't
                             get out of my head

Maybe I’m just lonely
I know I don’t need a relationship right now
But maybe we could just be
I know you’re good so I was wondering how

Silence can be dangerous.
The quiet gives us room to think,
where our brains aren't occupied
by the commotion of day-to-day life.
It can be violent,
when we're met face-to-face
with what's going on in our head.
It's frightening,
when our thoughts are blatantky before us.
We're not caught up in the touch-and-go
sensation that distracts our mind from
what darkness dwells behind our skull.
It's always there, just sometimes
it applied a bit more pressure that usual.
But do not fear the stillness.
Daily life can chip away at our bones
until we're left feeling drained.
And sometimes, it's only when everythings's quiet
when we realize this.
We feel lost, hopeless, empty,
and we feal this reality.
But the only way to remedy
is to emerse yourself in the silence.
Do not run from it or find a way out;
let it soak in.
This can be a time where we piece things together,
where we polarize our thoughts,
where we can find the problem.
It may be scary at first.
It can feel lonesome.
But I promise you,
if you stay in your trench,
if you dwell in this darkness,
if you keep yourself here,
eventually, you will find the problem.
I've sat in the silence,
I've found the problem,
I've climbed over my wall.
It was painful,
but with people by my side,
I've made my way out of this trench.
I am a Dreamer,
and so are you.

I use to feed on emotion
as if there was a stomach inside my brain.
I would chew on dark thoughts,
feasting on the thought that I'm insane.

But now I find on source of energy elsewhere,
on something that is set apart.
I feed on the joy in community and discipleship,
as if there is a stomach in my heart.

You’re barely keeping your head above the water
Why don’t I try something new and craft a boat
And maybe it will work and you can climb aboard
Because what’s the point if that’s not floating you

My emotions are so black and white
I’m not even putting up a fight
I think that you’re right
I’m just black
I’m going back
It’s a heart attack

I didn’t like what I had become
On this website, what I had done
What it had reminded me of
I was ashamed so I left this stage
I hid and hoped you’d forget
About the legacy I wanted to leave
So I left, and put this on a shelf
I don’t know what else I may write
Or what I won’t do right
But I hope to convey some light
That God does not love you based on what you’ve done
But when you accept Him, He loves you through the lens of the Son
When you go to Him and lay down your life
He will not deny you salvation based on your past

What’s the purpose of fun
When there is nothing new under the sun
What’s the purpose of music
When you can’t find a new way to use it
Is there any way to tune it now?
Now that we already know how
So I don’t understand how it’s a different sight
Because it was that way in the Bible times
But did the old modern times have such suicide heights
Or is if implicitly implied to stay alive for the light

I’ve doubted if it has to do with seasons
I’ve just made it past the spring leap
It’s getting warmer, and I’m doing better
Is it correlating, with those past reverberations

A droplet of sorrow,
with the pitter-patter song of tomorrow.

Give me a new perspective, a new elective
A dialect I can elect to project
Something so I can feel protected
But is this Your elective I’m rejecting?
Is the addict for good or for evil?
Is the steeple for preaching or people?
I should have spoken and offered the key
But still I left us both diseased
So will I speak or will I please?
Is this for You or is it for me?

What if sneezing allowed us to rid us of the demons
Instead of blessing flowing from our noses
Our greeting are for the devil’s fleeting
Rejoicing in this enforcement
Contorting the very distortion
And reversing how we curse us
A different stanza to put on our mantle