happy to be sad
wouldn’t it be different
were i to be indifferent
if i have to have happy
as nonexistent
and haphazardly
corner myself in between
apathy and agony
not in-distant
i’m insistent  
that if neither
and each must
be me
for me
and to me
i’m happy here
with indifference

he can’t stand me in the daytime
then with the sunset so does his fight
and i see the sadness
in his eyes
that along with mine
elopes to pause time
hoping to intertwine  
yeses and nos in our minds
back and forth
swinging like see saws
south and north
sing me to sleep
with your arms
till the grip of your palms
lets me in peace
rest
like i so often
dream

-end

sat next to the man with two phones
i asked him to hold my hand
and he laughed  

sitting in his ‘96 civic
for three hours we fell asleep
till six since three

he’s one of the many men
whose substance
far from the moral field
leaves many men with little substance
and you and me victims
of victims of you and me

he’s the type who feeds fiends
and he’ll keep making a killing
off children we perceive
as grown men and women
living to **** themselves
it’s how he makes a living

don’t him you belittle
for you are no different  

i know the thought makes you livid
you wish he was lined up and shot with the likes of him
but your white lies are their white lines
and the front lines in his line of business
so you would lie alongside and
wrong right
where you were digging

as far as i’m concerned
he’s not a man without substance
and one of much substance
one of few and far between
and certainly could you defeat

because while you let savages ravage me
he held my hand for free
and never demanded their standard fee
of an arm  
and a leg
and everything in between

.

my whole life
i lived here:

this shallow wind,
folding,
unfolding
wavy dunes,

an elusive
bloom
of sandy
swirls.

nights'dark
always drowns
in the silver
of glowing moons.

the warmth of days?

i do keep
saving it,

in bottles,

lost to
no longer
known address,

with its fireflies inside.

We broke up,
Time elapsed,
I came to your home,
To give you a surprise,
I had the spare key.
I saw the wedding photo of you and your wife,
A shock,
You didn't waste time.
Then I saw the hot *** tiffin on
the table,
Of piping hot rice,curry and chapati,
I ate it all,
It was delicious.
She had written a note,
She was tired of your ego and haughtiness,
She was going to her mother for some days,
She had left you the food,
I would not have done so.
She seems nice,
Come down from your pedestal
and make your marriage work,
I still love you but, I want to see you happy.
Hold on to your marriage.

When a person commits suicide
They should examine their teeth
A toothache has the power to make someone feel suicidal

this bathroom floor tile
knows me better than you do
you slid through
and the caution
slippery when wet sign
you took is the only
difference between the two
pictures in the funny papers
mercury and magazines
now we’re all victims
and more confused
you refuse to breathe the life you took
back into me
like my restless tears refuse to keep this filthy floor clean