I am so sorry for not getting back to everyone.!!! I have been in the hospital for a week. I will get to each of your wonderful comments in the next day or two.

As the ricochet of your pain has castrated the wind from my lungs, my lips parched and blue beg and gasp. Darkness encroaches and the beasts perch upon my chest. Rivers toppling the rocks in desperate pleas for life. Demons devouring daylights solitude with angry howls and invisible fangs. The Devils nefarious orchestra warming for a perilous journey. Daylight brings not the peace for fear lingers on. Oh but for a moments blink, a tiny draw through the cracks in the claws. Even if only to wet the lips with taste of air. Greed ask not for a breathe just cries and cries for the remembrance of fresh air. Oh but your love has so tainted the Devine equity that filled the lungs with dreams. Now each breathe tattoos agony and engrained hatred upon the soul. It is not your soul that is hated. Hatred comes for your lack of sympathy. Why did you not drive the dagger deeper into its sheathe. Planned out your torture was, but sweet death you would not give. The voices they can't hear, but understood they well are. Methodic chants of deaths door and the hinges of pain harmonize as they sing a sirens song. Eleven more days till the fiery carriage arrives. Seductive horses tamping an irresistible call. Into the darkness dust they scatter. Silence and happiness are there gift

I haven't been in control of my life in a very long time. Women have taught me to do what they say when they say and how they say and if you follow their rules enough and let them beat you down enough and allow them to humiliate you enough then if I am lucky I will have that one moment where I can close my eyes and shut my ears for moment and lie to myself and believe that because a woman Is allowing me to be inside of her that she actually loves me. I have those few seconds where I believe that notebook is real. I have those few seconds where I believe the lie of I'm worthy.

Gusting winds and blowing sand chipping away at the mortar. Rain and sun rotting away at the boards. Piece by piece the statuesque  chimney loses its strength and falls prey to the world around it. Time creeps away as silent screams go unseen. Dry tears scatter with each gentle breeze. Little remains but, a few faded pictures with lost souls gathered around. Lonely memories plague the landscape and ghost haunt the abandoned halls. Moment by moment less can be done. As love loses its grip gravity takes its place. A final prayer, a thunderous boom, a smoldering heap. A few more words, a little more love. Unto the end a parched love with abundant roses searches the night sky for nothingness. Shed not the tears for love comes not with loss. Love is in life. Guilt is in loss.

Hush!!! Hush!!! Dull roar. Scream at the heavens no more. Ravens hunger perishith not. Sweetest blood pouring from the bill. Flesh tangled in the claws. Darkness overtakes the lonely soul. Visions of grandeur floods emptiness across the nest. Bonded to the cover that binds the spirit. Not allowed to run, not allowed to scream. Silence quickens the soul. Dry dry river quenches no needs. Cracked earth mocks the angels songs. Never more can the radiance light the path. Woe to those that call to the gentle heart. Freedom!!! Freedom!!! frees the spirit, but leaves the loss. Cry!!! Cry!!! No more for the angels adore the upward glance. Rejoice in the absence for now the corners turn up.

Persistent river tumbling to the pillow that breaks the fall. Crowded room yet all alone the broken heart pleads for the sharpest edge. Visions of love surround the heart and squeeze life from the veins. Emptiness overtakes, smothering the smile with tortured agony. Eyes open not, heart do not beat, breathe fail the body. The path was was not, yet it is. The soul screams and pleads. Time turn back and change the future, for death shall fall. The weary heart gains no rest, for they walk to and fro. Yet all alone, the soul entertains to no end. All alone in the night, all alone in the day. All alone on the pillow of hell. The soul begs for one crumb from the floor, yet the dogs devour all that remains. All alone! All alone! They do not understand nor do they try. Happiness prevails yet the soul is all alone. Laughing and talking, singing and dancing, love they make, yet the soul is all alone. Sheets tightly wrapped drying the final tear. Tomorrow is gone and today fails to pass. Darkness chokes the life from the wind that lifted the wings. All alone, fly no more for darkness is a choice and the end is soon to follow. By the twisted words memories will remain. Yet one chair remains cold. And the tables lack for all is gone and he is all alone. Too late for yesterday, looking back is now to the side. Perfect vision but its too late for now he is all alone!

Oh rounded feet, which way shall thy lead the heart tonight. Shall it be the coldest of colds that brings forth a river of red. Shall it be the warmth of swaddling arms that nurture the soul. In thine ears the raven brings forth the darkest answers and final peace.  Freeing the soul from the broken glass that pierces the bottom of the feet. The darkness brings forth a gentle breeze from flying soil, ending thy pain with a long nights sleep.  Yet the arms reach out, pulling back the *****. A tiny glimmer of light teases the heart and cracks the eye. Thy strong beast doest deliver a mighty blow. From heavens window, and upon a strong shoulder the wounded heart swooshes away. Even for a moment the love prevails and postpones the suns final farewell. The end of the day ticks closer, yet its further away. Oh my friend shall i stay?

Tonight as I lay upon my pillow of nails my heart falls into a thousand galaxies. The pain that love has tattooed upon my heart has become more than my shoulders can carry. Thousands of stars have been plastered upon my skies with the words that each of you skatter to the wind. The beauty that each of you my friends share with rhyme and love is beyond that of imagination. My only regret as the time winds down is that of not reading more of each your poems of eloquence. You have bestowed so many pictures to my heart and to my soul. These are images that will bless me with fiery, graceful pictures of elegance until the ends of time. What no one has gathered with these words of my heart is that it isn't poetry. These are and have been nothing more than my legacy. My twisted rhymes and challenges to the hearts brain have been little more than an explanation to those that stay upon the path. My family, I have blessed with letters written with tears and shaky hands. Though some of the words may have been blurred with pain that splattered upon those pages, what was not wiped away should help them understand it wasn't greed or a lack of love. It wasn't against God nor did I lose faith. There comes a day when the rock in the sling can no longer slay the beast. It is then that that the giant and his sword of agony pierces the angels wings. The day has approached for the anniversary that I placed a promise upon the second finger from the right. My final poem will not be upon a page, but it shall be upon the stone that I sat my future and I gave my heart. Upon the mountains dust shall I leave the letters. It is upon each of your sights that I leave my second legacy. For my wonderful friend I found a star tonight. It was the brightest in the sky. I called that star, KimStar as I promised. If you shall look for the brightest star that is the star that I fell upon my knees and begged God to touch your body and heal your soul. You shall have my poem by my mornings light and I will make it shine. Tash oh Tash your heart your heart. No bigger blessing has God bestowed upon us miserable excuses for life. You are truly Gods Angel. You should know a creep I'm not. Tonight your beautiful voice shall I hear as the angels hug me tight and carry me past the stars. Wanmin, I can't even find a place to start. The beauty that you have delivered into a darkened soul have been so gracious. Thank you for the kind words that melted my heart and gave light to my darkness. Oh my God Gregory, tonight you have brought the tears to my eyes that washed the pain from my heart. I had no idea I touched you when you needed it. Be not deceived my friend. It wasn't you that has been blessed. It is I that have been touched and blessed just by being in your presence even for a moment. Your words are genius. Actually they should not be called genius, you deserve more credit than that. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Free mind. I have not finished the poem that we started together, but I shall try to, before……. I am ashamed that my words could never match the words that your heart placed upon our poem. Your friendship….. I can't express my gratitude any more than to say. Wow, you are all heart and your soul is an old soul that is perfection. She writes, oh does she ever write. If her poetry you havent over indulged upon yet, grab your fork and spoon and prepare for a meal that will satisfy your soul to the depths of eternity. I meant every word I said. Your eyes tell the story that your words describe. Put those words upon the page my friend and bless me with one final eternity in your words, but be kind. A poet makes or breaks those that encounter their pen. My friends as I close my eyes and beg God for no mornings light grieve not for life is only what we make it and when the winds blow all that is left is the hopes that you touched a poets heart. One last and final request. Leave something upon my page for those that shall read it after me. Thank you my friends. It is each of you that I think of tonight. Farwwell

What is it that makes them believe they know how I feel. No one has dealt with the things that I have dealt with. They laugh and they mock. They say my pain should be over by now. They claim my desires for death are a sign of weakness and greed. It is them that are greedy. They tell me they don't want me to go because they love me. Well,if they loved me they would let me go. I can't leave my house because of my sickness, yet they go out and enjoy life. I beg them to come by for a moment, but they are too busy. If your love isn't strong enough to come by when I have gun to my head, then how can you tell me I have reasons to live. I started cutting a short time ago. Now, I'm not happy unless the blood is flowing. My arm looks like I ran through a barb wire fence, yet you say I should be proud of my life. You tell me that God is the answer to my prayers. I truly believe in God. But this is my battle and my demons. You tell me he will never put more on me than I can handle. Well, he did. My pain came from trying to love others and make them happy. Now, I can't even die because I need to make others happy. When do I get to do what Marty wants, what makes Marty happy? The only way I live day to day is by emducing pain to live with the emotional pain. I started cutting so I had pain. My counselor said to try rubber bands and ice cubes. She was right they cause a lot of pain. But, it isn't enough so now I have rubber bands, ice, I cut, I punch myself in the head. But her memories won't leave. Tell me how to live. Life isn't about the longevity it's about quality. And, this isn't life

Why dost my name cross thy tongue?  A demonic utterance, mocking the shadows on the wall. Flickering light shining through the gaps, piercing the evenings light. Screaming whispers meant for none to hear. Deafening silence mocking the empty soul. Why dost my name cross thy tongue? Dreams and visions parade with  enchanting words, giving loves final dance. Only if there could be one more chance. Ultimate shame with no one to blame. Screaming! Screaming! No one to hear. Pawing and clawing into a deeper pool. Drowning! wrapped tightly, bound in the unforgiving cloth. Squeezing each beat of the heart farther and farther apart. Mock and mock they may, as they pray for another day. Listen not, for they cannot make the choice to stay. Screams and screams to the heavens have went, but where were they. Miss me not for this is the final farewell. Why dost my name cross thy tongue?

Scream! Scream! To the heavens I scream! For one drop of mercy, I scream! On the parched earth a bended knee raises the dust. Tear soaked eyes refuse to raise the brow. Rivers of love dissappearing upon the cheek. Not a hand reaches down, not even one. As I scream! And scream! From heaven a gentle beam, yet I only scream! The blackest of hearts slowly dies with each agonizing thought. Darkness overshadows the glorious love. Blood runs cold and washes away with a dissappearing love. Upon the cheek memories fade and the ravens devour the soul. And, I scream! For the return of love I scream! No greater agony persist than that of true loves dagger to the heart. For love I scream! For the final breath I scream! For the shadows and confines of darkness I scream! For silence and a deserved rest I scream!

In the window stands a man, who neither looks in nor out. Upon his chest the weight of the world but, nothing does he feel. The sun upon his face but, the blood runs cold. Her disdain for life and love forces razors into every breathe. Wind blown passion scatters amongst the rocks. Tempestuous flowers lining the path, starving for the water that extends the grief. Tomorrow lives not, yet yesterday never dies. Her warmth and passion lights the fires in the arms that belong not. The velvety green oceans of lust peer into a dessert of agony and pain. Wantononly departing in an iniquitous journey. This pain was not asked for, but your leisurely stroll through the starry night, put the gun in his hand. The knees throb as they quiver opon the cold rock. Gentle breeze parts the hair. Salty oceans topple over the falls. Choking and stifling on the horrific nightmares prevents the end even for a moment. The pain has become a drug, and the arms open wide. Painful contentment now allows a glorious agony that some call sleep. Can this be the end of love?

Oh words fail me not
For there has to be a greater plot
Let my tongue guide the way
So the memory will ever stay

Passionate words twisted in rhyme
Makin sweet love last for all time
Visions and thoughts pouring from the pen
Captured eternity for all men

Misunderstood words upon the page
Captured forever in the paper cage
Stories of how sweet the love
Glory manifest from far above

Never more will this be sought
For hereafter it will only be taught
Poetry and dreams exposed for the sad
Loneliness and love never goes bad

Happy people live for the song
It seems to make them strong
For the notes they plea
In heaven they shall be

For the sinister twister of words
Nothing greater than the darkest birds
Line after line words unite
Such a glorious painful site

Not for glory or fame
Do we reveal darkest shame
Casting a spell for eternity
A brotherhood and forever fraternity

What should I write with words tonight?
Should I write that demons dance in flight?
Maybe the stars are no longer in the sky
But, that would only tell a lie

Don't be silly the stars never left the heavens
Although I'm sure I saw a dragon with heads of seven
Those around can't see the end has come
Yet Satan has put my heart under her thumb.

Remember the days that my life was love
Now the winds have made me void of
So passionate was her smile
Now, nothing could be more vile

Through such a tiny void he came
Before long I was the one to blame
Upon the sultry eyes I never laid
All the cards had done been played

Search hard for the fiery grave
Each day is such a close shave
A gentle knock on the doors of death
Screaming impatiently for the final breathe


They all doubt that death will show it's head
I can assure that I will soon be dead
Tomorrow's light is not my friend
Nothing more glorious than the end

Oh the miles she rode upon her back
As my nights went to a deeper black
A few short days from now
And the last rows I shall plow

From the earth will come no seed
The heavens did make the heart bleed
At the days end there will be no harvest
Words spoke louder and louder that I do not jest

As the page turns
And the hearts burn
Layer the clouds ever so thick
Never more have I been so sick

Make the bed upon the hill
And lay the love upon the seal
To the fool it may seem to bend
Yet only one prayer needs to send

The arms will pull close tonight
Finally an end to the horrific fright
Give it all the final seed
For, in pain her heart will bleed.

To what extent does love exist.  To the ground they do promise, but nay screams the dagger. Piercing the soul and mixing the tears with the ground that covers the last bit of hope. Bitter agony swallows not the love, but merely covers it with a fiery blanket of hell. He stopped loving her today. Not for the lack of love but for the breath that ceased to breathe across the neck. Lonely thoughts smothered the soul. Spit upond the ground and move the earth back to where it came. Agony no more, cold replaces warmth. All but the worms are silent and the golden heart is now still.

Oh hands on the clock why do you go so slow. Every second of pain rips away the chance of another mornings light. Smiles on the face of wicked, yet the righteous pay with more than they have. Why!!! Shatters the nights sleep with an aching moan. Nagging thorns piercing the moment. Why!!! Sheets wrapped tightly around the feet.  The red of love, now goes brown. It's gentle pettles leave an enormous drain. Upon the floor love slowly dies. The ravens call refuses to stop bringing another nights tears. Tears on the pillow, tears on the floor, tears in the dirt, bringing an end. For fall the  empty soul screams, nightly pleas go unheard, yet the smiles on their faces persist. Godly love smothered by evil green. Broken promises, forgotten moments puts the end in site. Let it go they say. Okay! Lay it down they say! Okay! At the feet of eternity I shall lay it from whence it came. Mornings light draws closer the end  and finally blocks the ravens attack. Lay it down, I shall. Let it go, I shall. A final good bye away goes the pain.

The sounds of the worms marching, the thud of foul earth shrouds with a reminder. Where is the angels song? Have the ears grown so deaf? Gentle tickle of the heart strings felt no more. Passion dies in the womb of love. Darkness falls before the warmth of the mornings light. Where is the angels song? Search not the empty soul for the dust of the earth has swallowed the dreams. Emptiness consumes passion. And Passion explodes with the next moments passing. Time halts not, and yet it moves for no one. The sun holds its place and the shadow move not in the heart of pain. For, tomorrow is today and forevermore is only a start, for the grief dieth not.

As the day slips unto forgotten, the darkness overtakes the peace. Serenity slowly becomes agony, and love fades with the light. The angels among us return to their homes and the ravens sharpen their claws. Tightly wrapped sheets tangle and confuse the soul. Reluctantly the eyes grow weary, and the battlefield emerges. Each night she returns to tease and taunt. Reminding the heart that the arms hug a vapor. Prancing to and fro, pacing across the heart with thunderous steps, she reminds of us the absence of presence. Without care or remorse the demons pull and pluck the fading memories, leaving an empty soul. That's my wife! Silent screams beg the night, and yearn for mornings light.

Be not deceived for love is little more than the devils parody signing a sirens song. Into the dark the soul freely roams. Wayward winds tugging at the delicate strings of the hearts joy. Words and promises come so easy but fail to mean little more than a turned page. Forgotten promises written amongst wasted wood. Falling to the wayside with a tiny breeze love quickly dies. Words and words, lies and lies. The heart knows no difference, only the pain smothered with a trail of tears. Singing a song and whispering dreams in the lonely ears. Deception devours a life of knowledge all in the name of love. Pain soon overtakes as minutes becomes days and days become years but the hand the hand moves not. Tick tock, tick tock.

Oh gentle friend, thy pool of tears collected now turns red. Accumulating a joyous stain upon thy bed. A smile upon thy shame, as darkness prevails. Bringing an end to the endless tales. Gamblers hand, final deal. Bluff was called its time to steal. Away with mockery and shame, no one else to blame.
Sleep my child, close thine eyes. Glory awaits for those that do not hesitate. The words of the fathers curse the path, nothing left in the aftermath. In these shoes they have walked not. Not a foot, not a mile forget trying to bring a smile. Upon thy knees have went many pleas. Oh gentle friend hold thy head and take thy breathe, for upon thy ***** comes a final death. Words come so easy for the sheep but the fangs of the wolf pierce thy flesh. For they know it all, yet their ears have grown blind. Open thine eyes and see the fall. Say not your words for it is was given upon the plate. Served for all to see, the stain is real. Remove thy stain, still it persist. Wash thy hands and scrape thy skin. For in thine heart the stain will stay. Nothing will take it away. If only the ears could see. Oh gentle friend share the tells of agony at the bottom of the well. Only you can tell the story, and share the guilt. Let them know of the nights he was dealt. Tell the story my friend. For in their mind you will always be.

Unto the heavens reached the shaking hand. Bound by earthly teathers, yearned a broken heart. Passionate words, fathers desires, and screams woke the mornings light. Blinded ears and deafened eyes searched for heavens sight. Hidden words softened the soil, yet the feet failed to break free. Consuming swamps swallowed the final drop of pride as bended knee met the lonely earth. Downward glance brought forth the emptiness that swallowed the final breathe. Upon the neck, breathe fell not as eyes failed to cross. Shame brought forth endless lies and visions of pearls upon the face of the wicked angels. Truth upon the ears could not be seen as the pain engulfed the heart. Cry not for me! Cry not for me! Ravenous tears burned their mark, almost winning the weary heart. Fail me not oh gentle path for nothing lies in the aftermath.

Falling back onto the pillow of nails. Thousands of ravens pierce the evenings flight. Tiny glimmers of hope fading quick, begging the night for no mornings light. Swatting them away as the soul prays, the demons take their turns. One by one they rip and gnaw.  Sleep itself becomes a dream, a fantasy to behold. The weary findeth not the traveled path. Teasing and mocking the tortured soul. Round and round the daggers swirl. The night lingers on. Unable to move, unable to free the spirit, the body fades and slips into a pool. Why must the ravens persist, why must their anger nag so deep. Why do they prevent my sleep. No more could have been given, but all was taken. To the ravens I scream, part from my mind, relieve my soul. The day will come when they shall see. They shall see and feel as i. Let them tell the ravens goodbye, let them feel the empty bones as the night lingers on.

At the mornings call did the ravens tongue fall. No pity nor sorrow from its claws did love borrow. Endless rows of marble all but covered the lie. Stakes and timbers wallowed their way into the shallow ground. Mockers gathered around. On display for the raven to see, the river did flow. Empty veins brought forth little, but much was taken. Coward they mocked. Share thy pain and let it go. Ferocious growl of pride devoured with no one at its side. Stop the cries went out! No more, were the pleas. Within the grasp not a hand reached. Not even one. One knee to the ground heavens home in sight. Withering flowers growing on the parched earth. A silent prayer split the screams. Downward came heavens beams. Silence upon the raven fell, no longer forced to live in total hell. Peace so slow to come but eternity shall it spend. Tonight tonight love did cry nothing left but a gentle sigh.