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281 · May 2018
Travelling
Mary Gay Kearns May 2018
I slipped from all formal means
And cast my heart to sea
In a little sailing ship
Just the size for me

Decorated in tiny stars
And bluebells on the bow
I travelled all the merchant seas
And came back in an hour.

Love Mary ***
280 · Mar 2018
The Chair
Mary Gay Kearns Mar 2018
In the middle of nowhere Evelyn thought,
Starting somewhere where time had stopped
And yet still it did not end like the Zoo train
With its certain length and specific destinations;
She clambered over memories, digging deep
Then it came that feeling where joy inhabited
And a warmth glowed up to join together
The parts that she had missed and not known;
The chair had been vacant, but for a few toys,
Scatterings of pleasures taken when not vacant,
She loved this turning over of her small hands,
It had been grandma's chair bequeathed to
A little girl loved so much the wind ached
And the clouds sobbed at their separation.
But the chair with its shifting images
Was where love resided, safely,
And Evelyn found what she needed
Cherishing that which remained.


Love Mary x
To Evelyn love Grandma Mary xxxx
279 · Jan 2019
Twenty minute slot.
Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2019
Watford to Euston a twenty minute slot
Passing from countryside to brick block
Passed all the bridges and graffiti on walls
Passed the art that turn heads if they will.

Sometimes a stopping of the short train
Ten minutes to wait then hasty again
Down through the outer tunnels, fine
Into Euston platform just on time.

Love Mary ***
275 · Apr 2019
The little bank
Mary Gay Kearns Apr 2019
The little bank by the stream was wet
Wet with the tears of ages, of centuries
And the children came with
Their sailing boats
To watch the ducks
And eat blackberries
The years past with daffodils
With Wordsworth
With Giselle
Until the end of time.

Love Mary **
275 · Apr 2018
Always
Mary Gay Kearns Apr 2018
She always walked behind them
As if they did not belong
Embarrassed by their age or greyness
Somehow
There was no heart for holding hands.

But now their space emptied from this world
A silence where a kiss could be
And she wished for all those hours back
So she could walk again with thee.

Love Mary x
For her mother and father with love .***
274 · Jan 2019
Ploughed Field.
Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2019
A brown, barren ploughed field
A flock of birds above
Scattered dots in a patch of blue
On the wind the monks’ voices
Echoed from past days
Worshipping at the simple chapel.

Love Mary ***
Thank you love Mary ***
274 · Jul 2018
Warm patch
Mary Gay Kearns Jul 2018
That warm patch of earth under the damsons
Where nothing grew but children’s feet prints
Reached high for the odd black fruit showing
Sqealched between fingers the stalk snapped
And a mouth opened to taste the sweet wines.


Love Mary
Our damson tree at 71 Penwortham,SW16
274 · Feb 2018
Cartwheels in the sky
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
So here I am like a cartwheel
With the green dress today
As my hands touch the pavement
And my legs arc away
Then I float through the skyline
Reach the ground and display
All the joy of a tightrope walker
Upside down on a Summer's day.

Love Mary **
Green Dress inspired.
Mary Gay Kearns May 2019
I watch the footage on iplayer
Hear the voices scream out
See the injured bleeding, dying
A strip of land between Egypt
And Israël- owned, desired

Then I see Brunhilda
secretary to
Gobbels talking
About Evil and injustice
About there being no god
See the Second World War
Footage.
I think of the meaning
Of having a home
And despair at
Humankind

Love Mary
Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2019
I can’t touch you for you are history
I can smell you, sense your hair
Lift your lipstick and cream jars
From an empty dressing table
In my imagination.

The tricel dress slips to the floor
Its colours bright as Aztec silk
The belt black plastic still looped
Holds what was your warm form
I scrunch the fabric to my face.

Love Mary ***
For her mummy in memory ***
267 · Apr 2018
The flowers
Mary Gay Kearns Apr 2018
I do not want the flowers to know
That I am dying
That never again will I see their petals form
Watch their leaves from a window
Fluttering in a rainstorm
Please don’t tell them that I am dying
Never let them know.

Love Mary x
267 · Apr 2018
A melody of memories
Mary Gay Kearns Apr 2018
Being of an outward mind I do myself pretend
That babies are Easter eggs and rabbits silver men
And white chocolate elephant and shiny ducky doo
All travelled on the sleeper as part of the night crew.

And when they got to Dainty- hop took a private plane
Flew across a poppy fields but they'd turned quite strange
Down they dropped with a flop, lay round under a tree
Suddenly came a swamp of bees and stung them quietly.


Although the world can seem quite flat and tortoises slow
One never knows what direction the north wind doth blow
So gathering up thought for the day and putting it in a sack
The family of chocolate friends took a speedy train back.

Love Mary x
266 · Jan 2019
Peace.
Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2019
Take from this
All that you want
Do not struggle or stride
Lay down the relics of us
Let you be guided by time
Back to peace and possibilities.

Love Mummy
***
265 · Apr 2018
Burnet Moth
Mary Gay Kearns Apr 2018
In a field at the edge where
The Burnet's reproduced
Their dark wings with six red spots
Giving birth on our hands
From inside their chrysalis.

Mating from egg, larvae
To pupae and adult moth
Took about three weeks
We went almost everyday
The hot sun stroking our backs.

This was our moth Summer
Guiding our courtship with
Fluttering wings and newness
Stepping through the railings
To gain this precious time.
Burnet moths have dark matalic background colour and six red spots on their two
forewings . The caterpillar is green with black spots and is poisonous.They feed on clover, birds-foot trefoil and grassland flowers where it is sandy.
They are stunning moths but only live a few days after laying their eggs .Moths like knapweed and scabious.
#mk
264 · Dec 2019
Just dust.
Mary Gay Kearns Dec 2019
I have learnt to expect nothing
Content on the pillows with my
Failing eyes and intense thought
We were made remarkably simply
So in the end just dust drifts down.

Love Mary
264 · Jun 2019
Rest in peace.
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2019
Those knees touched the edge of my skirt
That one my mother made with elastic
And an embroidered trim in blue gabardine
They were pre -adolescent,
Bony and sculptured ******* sticks.

My hair fringed like a Rosebud doll
Bent under my mother’s wet fingers
To make it turn so to clip eyebrows
The rest lay like golden fleece on back
Of the broderie anglaise white blouse.

At eleven my underwear was still cotton
And socks white on Mary Jane shoes
I said little and hugged my many dolls
Loved best to stroke our black and white cat
And roll about to the sound of The Beatles.

Love Mary
264 · Jul 2018
When I collected sixpence
Mary Gay Kearns Jul 2018
Sixpence could buy you a lot
A plastic doll from Woolworths
Crayons and cut - out books
A pair of socks
Packet of curby grips
Box of handkerchiefs
Half a yard of lace
Cheap lipstick
Flannel for face
Pears soap
A remote boat.

The counters of Woolworths
Were stacked with joy
Something for all the
Boys and girls
Suspenders for mother
Shaving stick for dad
And packets of sweeties
That we all had.

Love Mary x
263 · Dec 2018
The pink rose.
Mary Gay Kearns Dec 2018
It seemed like the pink rose
Would stay out forever
Swaying over the path
In the damp December air.

The garden was in disarray
With a multitude of debris
Left from Autumn
Green covering of growing.

But the pink rose did not tire
Sought in its shrivelled  beauty
The thirst of the rain fall
And moments of crisp sunshine.

Love Mary ***
In memory of David Austin rose grower who died
This week.Wonderful man
Love Mary ***
260 · Jul 2018
Loving cement.
Mary Gay Kearns Jul 2018
Two builders at my door
Mending the brickwork,
The hardwood board
That’s kindness for sure.

Tenderly I watch them point
With lovingly made cement
A tradesman’s gifted skill
Thank you Charlie and Bill.

Love Mary ***
259 · Jun 2018
Still.
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2018
Blow hollyhocks blow
Send shivers down
Those hairy spines
Quiver in the sunshine.

Welcome the busy bees
The wayside walkers
In the scarlet breeze
While you stand still.

Love Mary x
256 · Jul 2018
A Tree
Mary Gay Kearns Jul 2018
There is no longer a Sycamore tree
With its variegated, sap green leaves
Bringing a fluttering in the Sringtime
A steady, shady, dream filled breeze.

Our road was accustomed to rows of pairs
To keep each company year on new year
One Winter frost was bitter, time had come
For a friendship to be severed, lost and gone.

A tree outside a house is a very special joy
Waking each morning to the sound of birds
Now only in my photographs can I recall
The splendour of this object standing straight
And tall.

Love Mary x
256 · Aug 2018
Today’s world
Mary Gay Kearns Aug 2018
It might as well be
So tangled is the web
Nothing surprises
Never knew endings
Could be so brittle.


The battle to see
Simply broke me
Drained, isolated
Ruined, blamed
Such an awful shame.

Love Mary
254 · Feb 2018
Take the floorway
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
We are walking with our long strides
Keeping time to the day
Finding hands beating music
As our feet skip away
And my knees take the floorway
Turn to you and say
It is now forever
That my loves here to stay
Then we join in the hoping
Fill the hallway with light
We are travelling in moonlight
For an everlasting night.

Love Mary x
For my Roger , love Mary .Trips to the Harlequin.
253 · Apr 2018
Alexander
Mary Gay Kearns Apr 2018
I will be there for you in the days that follow
Do not worry, my son
For when you take each child's hand
You're holding mine too.


We'll walk in the park in the Summer
I will be there, my son
Life is a repeating pattern of smiles
I am always your Mum.

Love Mum x
253 · Jul 2018
Sand soaked love
Mary Gay Kearns Jul 2018
The sun blisters the sky
Seagulls brittle the air
We scorch under towel
Watching the sea glisten.

This is a world with you
On the sand soaked love
West Whittering in May
The best always stayed.

Love Mary x
For my Roger love Pinky Woo. **
252 · Feb 2018
Ruby
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
Ruby I can hear your helpfulness
In every word and breath
Quietly you look around
Find  a mission to make sound
Quided by an inner thought
To make the way less thwart
In your silent cares
The needs of others
Always there.
A pleasure to have around
A lovely girl good and sound
Understated child
You grow more beautiful
By the hour.




Love Grandma for Ruby
250 · Nov 2018
‘Housey’
Mary Gay Kearns Nov 2018
I stood at the forest gate
Waiting for the hare
And down the road
Came ‘Housey’
Hare completely unaware
His legs were stiff
His arms in gloves
And on his head
A crown
He looked much smarter
Than any frog around.

Love Mary ** Grandma
249 · Jun 2019
Cough candies.
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2019
Tearing thorns from coat
I found hidden amongst
The winter fabric a broach
Slightly mellowed by age
And the stone a shiny blue.

No one knew its origin outside
An old cigarette tin with rust
And the smell of cough candies
That belonged to a mother’s love
Returning home I was not alone.

Love Mary **
249 · Sep 2018
Harvest
Mary Gay Kearns Sep 2018
Harvest forgiveness while still fresh
Do not let it setter to rot in box
Rememember the calling came at dawn
The heart once peeled stays skinless.

Love Mary x
247 · Jun 2019
Jay bird.
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2019
Holding his small brown hand
Collecting the coat on a coloured peg
We walk the Cherry Blossom Tree way
He has a work book in his fingers
A satchel and drinking flask on his back
We talk and sing as the road bends
I love you my first grandson.

Love Grandma xxxx
246 · Jun 2018
The divers
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2018
Who are we these people who sit with words
And an audience of silent poetic spectators
Day after day we need to write to be heard
For there is no where else that these words
Can be said, read, understood.

Our country, and habitat matter not
For we are like invisible spirits
Sending out messages
Philosophical statements
Because politics has failed
There is no representative
For the majority.

Our words a last plunge
For freedom
In a world of autocracy.
So we dive deep
Swim out against the waves
Floating in waters of truce
Hoping that we can
Make a difference
However small
To enlighten,
Comfort
And share
The best we can find
Of our humanity.

Love Mary xxxx
Thank you poets
246 · Jan 2019
H niger
Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2019
Oh so white you helliborus
And leaves of grassy green
Spreading stems of delight
And snowy open wings.

Love Mary ***
246 · Jan 2019
My invisible.
Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2019
My Invisible friend.

If I pass you bye on that day,
Please don’t judge me as I rush away.
If I fail to see you,
Don’t presume I even knew
How to discover or trace you...

Call my name my heart will soar.....

My invisible friend no more...
Written by Pam Turner for me as I fade.
Love And thank you Mary xxxxx
246 · Apr 2019
The love .
Mary Gay Kearns Apr 2019
He made his own garden from the words
Planting the raspberries that she gave him
The two roses, red and white now strong
And an Acer reached a height of ten feet
In the middle an oblong grass lawn grew
Edged with daffodils and crocuses to multiply
A few pots blossomed with a variety of plants
And the fairy of love and charity stood watch.

Love Mary xxxx
245 · Jul 2018
On the bench.
Mary Gay Kearns Jul 2018
On the bench sits Roger
My lovely old codger
Long, silky, grey hair
A beard that rambles
Everywhere,
Two soft, brown eyes
Gentle hands
A book to read
That is my man.

Love to Roger from Mary ***
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
It grew out of me like a sharp thorn
Put railings around my door
Allowed me to get into cars
Not stopping for me,
Set fire to a patch of green,
Throw books from open windows
And never consider, that
Inside
A poet resides
Where rules have
To be
Smashed to escape.

Love Mary x
245 · Jun 2019
Intolerable.
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2019
The tree has swayed its top branches
For over a month, gusty June weather
Tired we all of a wet and windy month
Colder than usual, we are intemperate
The roses in cerise, peach and heritage
Tolerate this climate of ours but not us.

Love Mary
244 · Mar 2019
Winter treasures
Mary Gay Kearns Mar 2019
Why Winter more watery
Are your tears?
Thay hold to the silence
Of the music that stopped.

A rose and a clementine
A muscician and a clown
A Curate with a Bible
These gatherings we are.

Love Mary ***
244 · Jan 2019
The Tree.
Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2019
The tree stood for thousands of years
Its evolutionary path an unimaginable
Journey
Nothing disturbed either its pattern
Nor days;
A new virus evolved blowing its way
Eating its bark and destroying its leaves
Its pattern broken
Took fastly and down it fell
Leaving all that had passed
Behind;
Only rings and fossils
Tell of its life’s secrets
Crustationes carried in the wood.

Love Mary ***
240 · Dec 2018
The trajectories.
Mary Gay Kearns Dec 2018
I never found that secret word
To explain their ways to me
It stumbled on every step
And all the places a maid could be.

The reason for this misunderstanding
I really do not know
Somewhere in the trajectories
It bent itself to ‘no’.

Oh how this yawned my heart
To be misunderstood
A whole life of searching
And left as firewood.

Love Mary ***
239 · Dec 2019
We say we do not know.
Mary Gay Kearns Dec 2019
We say we do not know our purpose
Only that it is the right thing to do
Providing providence in its pursuit
Any fear we will confront and conquer
So said the wise child and the white bear.

Thank you for your genius Philip Pullman.
Love Mary
Mary Gay Kearns Mar 2018
When you come into this world
Surrounded by so much love
Welcomed by your family
With kisses and hugs,
I am sorry I can't be there
To see your darling face
Or know that newborn baby
Scent that lingers after birth.

To watch you have a first bath
Those tiny limbs that splash
And take a brush to your hair
Stroke the roundness of your head,
May the flowers be your friends
The trees shelter you
And know that I love you so
Even though I missed you .

Love Grandma Mary xxxx
For my grandson due in August .tell him I love him so.Grandma ***
239 · Nov 2019
Knowing
Mary Gay Kearns Nov 2019
The full blood count was up
The oxygen level edging down
We saw the last scans results
Tears dropped
The radio went off
And the curtain flickered.

Love Mary **
Mary Gay Kearns Mar 2019
It may take years for poetry to be acknowledged but when it is
Great truths unfold that leave one tremulous with beauty and
Awareness so great that the world turns in disbelief.
Somehow there are no other legistrators of the truth for all are
Selfinterested and infested.
So dear poets write for humanity that your words touch those servants of change.
Altering understanding
To the reality of nature’s innocence and the wickedness of
history and humankind.


Love Mary xxxxx
238 · Jul 2018
Tales from a bedroom.
Mary Gay Kearns Jul 2018
Four little mice
All dressed nice
Decided they’d
Learn to fly
So made some wings
From plasticine
And things
Stuck on stars
From a sweetie jar
Climbed the ladder
To top of their beds
And floated gracefully
Keeping their head.
My four little mouse
Friends.

Love Mum xxxxx
237 · Sep 2019
Before I forget.
Mary Gay Kearns Sep 2019
1.

In Springtime I recall the lilacs sweet scented
Growing up the right hand fence at the bottom,
Of a rather overgrown and swayward garden.
Each flower part of a composite bloom, opening slowly its tiny
Trumpet like stamens from where the bees suckled
Filling their back legs with yellow powdered nectar
Which made honey for sandwiches at teatime.

2.
On my way to infant’s school I would clasp
Handfuls of sweet cherry blossom petals
The tips of each petal turning brown in the sun
My shoes covered as I kicked heaps of this candy floss
Pink tissue paper along the road as I thought about school
And the day ahead, in my brown Clark’s leather sandals.

3.

The smell of the scrapings of new potatoes floating
In tap water in a blue polythene bowl in our scullery
And on my mother’s cracked, dry and sore hands
Ingrained with the dirt from compost and soil.
I loved these hands rough yet gentle to stroke a face.




Love Mary September 12 /201
237 · Jul 2019
Rememberance
Mary Gay Kearns Jul 2019
There was silence at the station
The waves crawled up the beach
The angels blew their trumpets
The seagulls gathered in heaps.

One hundred and one jellyfish
Spreading out in golden bands
And a line of iced cream cones
Danced along the yellow sands.

Love Mary xxxx
237 · Mar 2018
Silent light
Mary Gay Kearns Mar 2018
Light falls softly its mellow tints
Caressing all that is touched
A girl in traditional Dutch dress
Holds back her tears ,and,
Placing finger tips
On the keys she begins to play
A quiet melody.

We cannot see her sadness
For it is hidden by position
So she cries in silence
To the mirror above
The rectangle of answers
And to her left a young man
Watches, without a word to offer.

Love Mary x
After Vermeer The Music Lesson
236 · Mar 2018
The principle of flowers
Mary Gay Kearns Mar 2018
Manet in his final days painted
Flowers.
A collection of the most beautiful
Living gestures and gratitude
For his life.
Sixteen small paintings
Of cut flowers in vases
Sorrow's tears falling
As petals to the table.
Already cut, these blooms
Await their own slow demise
And seem as a metaphor
For Manet himself.


Do this for me, I ask,
Watch each flower as it opens
Know it is there
To kiss away
The tears
Of goodbye.


Love Mary ***
234 · Feb 2018
Greatest Best
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
We part but meet daily
In everything that moves
The caterpillar and the cranefly
The fairies with dainty shoes

So what I laid out for you
In times of greatest best
Will always be before
As you get redressed

Don't look in the mirror
You will not find me there
But in the books I've chosen
And plant pots here and there


I sleep with the dollies
The ones from long ago
And all those you gave me
With your love to show.


To My lovely family
Love Mary ***
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