I know what it's like to fail
In a continuous loop
In this game I trail
I keep missing the hoop
As my spirit goes stale
I forget how to shoot
I let out a banshee's wail
And then I go mute

I know what it's like to lose
To be beaten and bruised
By those who pick and choose
Who hangs from their noose
My mission wasn't a success
Once you told me I was a mess
And you weren't impressed
After I undressed
So I elect to rest
After deciding you're the best

In my lonely bed I lie
Even here I slowly die
I don't even have to try
To be losing my life
So I'm using a knife
To cut out my eyes
And get rid of my sight
Because my main plight
Is watching day lose to night
The only winner my grey blight

I try to put a padlock
On the mad clock
Like an ad block
On my last box
God laughs a lot
Saying "I think not
Time can't be bought
You must wither and rot"

I've lost the battle
And the war
I hear death rattle
In my core
As I implore
God for more
To reach the shore
But he slams the door

There's no such thing as heaven
Just a seventy year game seven
Where my eyes gradually redden
So I can't play the game
While my optics are strained
Until my vision is completely lost
And I die alone in the frost

In the book of Genesis
Joseph, son of Jacob
Made a prophecy based on the pharaoh's dream
He determined there would be seven years of abundance
Followed by seven years of famine
Joseph told the pharaoh to stockpile resources
By taxing one fifth of his subjects' harvest every year
To prepare for the impending hardship
So that they may live and not die
And during that time of famine
Egypt remained powerful
Because of their divine foresight and communal mentality
But what I wonder about that process is:
During the abundance
Did the Egyptians complain about the new tax?
Did they say it was a tyrannical government overreaching?
And during the famine
Did they feed on the fruits of frugality
While remembering the contributions that saved their nation?

I live inside my shell
In a world I will leave
So I feel compelled
To live my romantic dream
But people tell me it's not Adam and Steve
And what they really believe
Is I'm going to Hell
Well they can call me Eve
And this is where I fell

I committed a crime against the state
I effected the money oligarchs make
So they send me away to deflate
Inside a prison estate

The punishment of prison isn’t enough
They want my life to be extremely tough
So they take an unknown parasitic bug
And inject it into my blood

They don’t care what it does or where it goes
Because the main goal
Is that it’s painful
To satiate the disdainful

So I’m stuck in this prison
Because of our decisions
I have a parasitic incision
That starts blurring my vision

In prison I see things bleakly
And my eyes start leaking
On the verge of weeping
Until the bug starts speaking
Telling me not to show weakness
Because I’ll just sleep less
If I display any meekness
I’ll surely reach death

The parasite replaces my eyes
With its own advice
Of not acting nice
And being cold as ice
As it crawls through my skin
Teaching ways to win
That are quite grim
And mortal sins

The parasite tells me the only way to survive
Is to create an environment where evil thrives
So I start sharpening shanks
Like the military manufacturing tanks
Stockpiling my weapons
While I live in deception
Hiding my deviousness from the guards
Whose giant targe
Gives vibrant scars
Behind prison bars

They put me in solitary confinement
For my humble consignment
But my bumbling mind went
Following my blind pet
Telling me to keep fighting
In this tiny room without lighting
It’s the only way to feel lively
When I know I’m slowly dying

The bug says I’m weak
The bug says I’m lonely
So I desperately seek
A way for people to know me
So I spread my **** on the wall
Looking for an officer to brawl
Once the extraction team is called
I don’t feel so small

In a prison of concrete and resentment
I’m drowning in indefinite detention
Which was the intention
Of this sadistic invention
But they forgot to mention
That innocent people end up here
I barbarically **** to inmate cheers
Feeling only hate and fear
The parasite enters their ear

Some people claim they speak with God
Others will try to tell them that’s just their intuition
But I think they’re both right

I feel so lonely
I want someone to know me
And caress me slowly
Instead I’m imploding

I search to no avail
As loneliness prevails
My life goes stale
Telling tall tales
Of how I was impaled

I’m the single Pringle at the bottom of the can
That can’t be reached by their hand
Because it holds a brand
I can’t withstand
They always demand more
Like I’m their ****** *****
Who won’t stand for
The grand tour

So I just keep breathing
As love keeps leaving
Sitting here seething
Like I’m teething
While they beat me
Discretely

I know what I want
And won’t settle for less
But the settlers taunt
Saying they’re blessed
The riches they flaunt
Of having a guest
Leaves me impressed
But once I’m undressed
I see it’s all in jest
So it’s time to rest

I want to be part of society
Without anyone tied to me
Because they just lie to me
Playing hide and seek
Making life bleak
I travel through the cosmos
Where only God knows
How much time slows
Where the blind go

So I fold
And throw in the towel
Once I’m cold
And disemboweled
I reluctantly resign
While I’m singularly defined
Our lives will never intertwine
So I live inside my winter mind

I say life as a bachelor
Is spectacular
To mask the hurt
Of being attached to dirt
Inside this frozen canyon
Where I can’t join a tandem
While others avoid my fandom
I become a haunting phantom

This misery gets increasingly annoying
So I convince others to join me
In relationship avoiding
And defense mechanism employing
To act like I’m enjoying
The life I’m destroying

I need to express myself
For my mental health
Not to melt
But I don’t make art
Because it’s torn apart
Like a bleeding heart
Eaten by seething sharks

In a match of the friendless
Versus the defenseless
It’s the pretentious
Who condescend us

They hit all
The pitfalls
With wit small
But sit tall
Behind thick walls
Of vitriol

They see examining art
As a way to prove they’re smart
By blindly rejecting what others like
And enjoying the obscure
As if being different makes them right
Which is obviously absurd

On a plane where opinion
Is treated as fact
They claim dominion
Over the artistic track
By shooting black flak
Until I angrily react
And flies I attract

You might take the angle
I think everyone is painful
I’m not saying there aren’t angels
But there are definitely demons
With no explainable definite reasons
Why they call some artists heathens
Based on the nonsense they believe in

Pretension and ignorance
Have a large difference
But both are carnivorous
Most of their comments
Aren’t very honest
Nor are they modest
They just burn the hottest

Their judgment stuck
On calling everything putrid
The best filmmakers ****
The best musicians are stupid
They can hardly be called lucid
Trying to be the negative Confucius

Their hate reaping
Gatekeeping
Breaks peeking
Artists seeking
One day reaching
Public preaching

I start to withdraw
Once they’re near
My heart won’t unthaw
Frozen in fear
The crowd is suggestible and fickle
So one negative trickle
Causes an avalanche of icicles
Knocking me off life’s bicycle

They discourage people from putting themselves out there
As they turn culture into a doubt fair
Only producing shout air
To reroute stares
Away from emotional expression
And toward themselves
With their rhetorical aggression
They put us in hell