Liz Arnold

Liz Arnold May 2017

Little voices always in my head.
Demons from my past keep flaring their nasty heads.
All I want is to move on from my mistakes and make my future better with you as we have started our family now grow our family into more and grow old together sitting in our rocking chairs talking about them good Ole days when we were young and feared nothing.
This demons have ruined my childhood and teenage years,
Now I beg of you little voices inside my head allow theses demons to give me peace to be finally happy with my love and our little family on our front porch rocking chairs.

Liz Arnold May 2017

Normal For Him

All theses thoughts in my head,theses racing thoughts that wont give me a min of peace.
The voices always telling me im worthless,ugly,trash,a lying ***** that'll never amount to anything or every have anything out of life if i.
Thoses same voices telling me im better off dead everyone would be better if i wasnt in existence anymore,then i look at my family and wish every day to be normal for them.
Normal is all ive wanted my whole life instead of crazy **** going on and constantly around me that makes me look bad and that im ******* every one in the world.

Is it really that hard for him to love me and want me for the rest of ourlives.
Will he every forgive me for the five mistakes i made when we were first brought together and that i hid it from him cause i feared losing my eternal love im sorry mylove for lying so long but even now i show you proof and tell you exactly whats on my mind and never lie to you again.

Liz Arnold May 2017

Unwanted Love

Why was I not good enough to stay in the family?

I make one mistake and you now want nothing to do with me,did you ever stop to think maybe she needs me still?
No you just move on with your new wife and daughter who has her life together and was good enough for her to stay in the family and replace my place in the family.
Am I really that bad of a person that you throw me away the minute I make one mistake,but oh god forbid the perfect sons make any mistakes like cheating on their wife after tens years of marriage? The other son hits hits his wife and thats okay?
Your daughter makes one mistake because she's in love with a man and you disown me.
Thanks to the new step mom who most differently wears the pants in ya'lls marriage.
Instead of being a man and stepping up to your wife and telling her she has no business telling you that you can't have anything to do with your daughter because of some mistake she made that got her in trouble after 27 years of never being in trouble other than can't get stable on her feet with her fiancé.
That's ******* that you threw me away just cause im not on my feet.
How long did the perfect sons stay with mom and dad before finally being stable?
Even though you have chosen to not be my family I still love you and know that you'll always be my family.
Hopefully one day before its to late you can forgive me for the pain ive caused our family and let my family be a part of our family again.
Love you always The Estell

May 2017

Kissed By Depression

The Reality of Growing Up

It's like you can feel it..
all the bad seeping in
destroying every little good aspect
you've built up in your life

there's just this huge darkness
taking over everything
you cant breathe
and theres nothing you can do about it

it's like you're drowning in your own mind
and you're pushing yourself under the water

everything used to be bright and happy
but at some point in your life
it all turned upside down

you bleed and burn
trying to crawl back to what was
even though you know
there's no going back.

we've all grown up
and it *****.

~a.t.w

#life #pain #up #dark #bad #growing #teenyears

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