I can only speak
Through masks
My cowardice pulls me back
Into the inky darkness
Even my ******* desire for you
I must conceal
In the haze of bravado and apathy
And the clawing ache
Your gaze summons
I must suppress
With the very essence of my spirit

Forgive me
For what kind man
Would resort to such craven means
Just to bare his very soul?
Surely not one worthy of you.

The Lion's heritage
Compels me and curses me
To the bitter fate
Of wandering the halls
Of lonely perfection
Eternity upon eternity

A duplicitous nature
Earns curses
But I am grateful
For the gift of masks
Without which
Truth dies.

Do not find love
For it finds you
And find you it did
Like the first beams of dawn
Kissing the dew
On the slumbering meadow

And what was once
A verdant vale of calm
Is now a riotous explosion
Of cerulean and crimson
Caressed by the velveteen kisses
Of the eastern breeze

The languid shore
Now a maelstrom
Of spraying foam
A gale of berserk fury
Poseidon thundering
Confronting
The forbidding cliffs
Of time

O maiden
Sighing into
The lonely watches of the night
For whom are those tears shed?

Tarry not
For Helios comes
To take you in his embrace
And within the tongues of immolation
Is purifying salvation
That even
The Twelve Labors of Heracles
Are impotent to redeem

And you are no frail Icarus
Jesting and boastful
Impertinent in his youthful optimism
Who eludes and placates
The assault of the elements

Now take the plunge
O Athena
Laughing into the depths
Of the mercurial Aegean
For she who dares the fates and furies
Commands Olympus.

Black coffee
Unfiltered cigarettes
Scotch, neat
Rare steak

Then there's me.

I'm no stranger to
Wry grimaces
When I share
Or comments about
How I'm
A snide, contrarian *******
Or
An unapproachable ****
A snob who refuses to fraternize
Who thinks he's better than us
And whatnot
Sure, let the reviews pile up
I've heard them all

If the taste of me makes you spew
Then walk away
And order your chai vanilla soy non-fat latte
Topped with whipped cream and cinnamon

The unadulterated stuff is
Clearly not for you.

I steal glances from you

Mostly
F
  l
  e
   e
    t
     i
      n
       g

But some
L  i  n  g  e  r  i  n  g

Minute after minute
With grossly familiar eyes

Until glances turn to leers

And hoard them in my soul
Racing against the coming winter

Hey,
If I can just have a minute,
You need to hear this.

This is me
You
It's hard to explain
But just listen.

This is something you need to hear.

I know you're filled with questions
With worry right now
But when the time comes
The answers will appear -
All of them -
Whether from within
Or from others

Either way
You'll wonder why you were so anxious in the first place
Things will sort themselves out.
Life's kinda funny that way.

Do you remember when you were fighting that guy -
Well, it hasn't happened yet
But you will be in mismatched fights
Both literally and figuratively
Where you feel outmatched and outgunned
But you will outlast -
It'll be like that.
You'll be in disbelief at what happened
But relieved that you made it through.
Just hold on.
Don't tap out,
Don't throw in the towel.
When things are at their darkest
And you wanna just quit,
Don't.
That's when your breakthrough
Is at hand.

****'s going to happen.
I cannot say what exactly,
But it - they - will happen.
And it's alright.
You may not think so,
But it will all be fine.

You're stronger and braver and kinder
Than you think you are.
Times will come when
Your world seems to be ending
But it won't.

You've survived countless storms before,
And you will weather many more.
And that's alright.
You can't lose,
Not with such profound love that you have in you.

You will hurt like never before,
Cry and lash out,
Question everything you have ever known.
And there is nothing wrong with that
There is nothing wrong with you.

You will fall,
Only to rise,
Again and again.
Each time will be better
And harder
Than the last.
Each incarnation is stronger than the one before
A level-up, if you will.

You will feel alone,
Forgotten, abandoned,
But you're not alone.
You were never forgotten at all.

You will be besieged
By rage and hate,
But you will not allow bitterness
To settle into your spirit.
Bile will not seep into your bones.
It's just gonna go right through you.

You need to - and will - understand
That the enemy is in you -
And so is the answer.
It's all been inside you
All this time.

All your struggles and questions and fears
Seem meaningless at this point
But they were necessary steps
They show you who you are
What you're made of.
Now you know better
Now you know
That fear is an illusion,
Anxiety is nothing
But the needless twiddling of thumbs.

Fear gives a small thing
A big shadow.
That's all they were and are:
Shadows.

I want to tell you
That everything is gonna be alright.
Just hang in there.
Don't sweat the small stuff,
Don't shy away from challenges,
And you will make it.

Just remember that life is not a contest with others.
It's a battle of attrition,
With you as your toughest opponent,
But you will win.
Dig deep inside you
And unearth the strength sleeping within.

It's gonna be worth the struggle, my friend
I promise you that.