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May 2020 · 52
Letter to Grandfather
Nevermore May 2020
I wonder,
If you were still alive
At 104 years old today,
If you would have been proud of me,
If you would have liked what you saw.

You knew me as the toddler
Who insistently took your hand
Before crossing the busy Chinatown street,

But not as the awkward teenager,
Anger simmering beneath his acne-riddled face,
Eager to prove his growth,
Trying too hard with his vitriolic rants,  

Neither as the young man
Floundering about in his twenties,
Dissipated on intoxicants,  
Groping about for direction,
Pining for a woman's companionship,

Nor as the married man
Who had attained independence,
Having found a way in life,
But now longing to regress to boyhood,
Sublimating his regrets in bad poetry
Scribbled between issuing memos and contracts.

Just what did you see in that toddler's future
As he waddled across the bumpy cement streets
Dappled with horse manure spilled from kalesas?

Did you see a man with broad shoulders,
Employing hundreds and feeding their families,
Making a tidy profit week after week?

Or perhaps an academician,
Erudite and eloquent, a debate juggernaut,
A far cry from his forefathers' humble beginnings
In some fishing village from Bumfuck, Nowhere, China?

Or did you just hope
For your grandson to retain his heart
The same one that prompted him
To take your hand as you crossed the street?

I still think of you at times
And wonder how things would have been
Had you been around,

If you would have bore our valley days
With your trademark stoicism,
Anchored father with your presence,
And have finally reined in
Grandmother's bladed tongue,

If we would have eventually shared
Your daily quart of brandy
After weathering with ascetic patience
The sound and fury of idiots.

How you would have seen
With your own eyes
The clan flourish and increase
In members, clout, and material wealth,

How you would have sat
Stone-faced but proud
As I took my steps to patriarchy
And started my own tribe,

Albeit with someone outside our race -
Worse yet, a descendant
Of our colonizers from the war.

(I wonder how much convincing
How much yelling from father
It would have taken
For you to relent)

I know I look back too much.
I guess there are too many unexplored paths,
Too many phantoms who remained acquaintances.

Or maybe I'm just like father,
Habitually framing the present
With the context of the past,
Always romanticizing the bygone
With the wine of sentiment,
Though reality would have been harder, drier,
And we needed the magic of romance
To make reminiscence palatable.

Thirty years have decayed my memory of you
To but a reconstructed charcoal sketch  

But it does not make me miss you any less.
May 20, 1916 - February 10, 1989
Happy birth anniversary.
Feb 2020 · 57
Balemteims
Nevermore Feb 2020
I don't need an occasion
To appreciate you
The things that you do
The way you are

How you
Wrap your arms around me from behind
Or
Leave a puddle of drool beside my pillow

How you prepare meal after meal for me
With love and care
Or how excitement blooms on your face
When I come home to you after work

How you speak with tenderness
And treat me with such patience
At times when I **** up
One too many times

I need no reason to say
That every day with you
Opens my eyes up
To things I couldn't even dream of before

To treat you extra special
On Valentines
Would be an insult to the other days of the year
When we have each other no less anyway
And love no less anyway

I did not treat you any differently today
Because I didn't need to.
Neither did you.
We always give each other 100%

So instead
Here's a 'just because' gift
Since you did want me to write more
A 'thank you' gift
For the years of bliss
I don't need a single gift from you
Your presence is already enough of a gift for me.
Unedited; to my sleepyhead geisha.
Feb 2020 · 43
Olam Ha-Ba
Nevermore Feb 2020
I've said before
That should it take doomsday
For me to finally meet you
Then so be it.

Just less than a year later,
The end began.
Meet we did,
And end my world did.

You gave me a new life
And a new world
In exchange for my old ones.

Amidst the dystopia this decade ushered in,
Where, indeed,
Beasts spoke as learned men,
Deceiving millions,
The tyranny of the few was being celebrated
By the gullible vocal,
And a new plague festered in the horizon,

I experienced renewal,
Shedding my old self in daily increments,
While the world burned
And the sky rained ash.

Heresies burned on the lips of boys
While your name burned on mine;
Stars died out in clusters every new moon
As I was divested of my layers.

With every kiss, every meal,
Every word spoken in love,
You pave the way
For my steps towards
The Age To Come.
Jan 2020 · 49
Penumbra
Nevermore Jan 2020
When the spiders come
Peeking from the smears on the wall
And the fog menaces ever closer
Inch by sinister inch

Strike the flint
And kindle the flame
Keep the darkness at bay
Stand your ground.

Hold fast
Lest the slick spill over
And bid the June Storm's return
To drench the stoked fire.

Stay in the light
Seek refuge

Before the tide catches you
And drags you into the deep
Before the spiders swarm you
And sink their venom into you.

Seek sanctuary
In the Patriarch's drawing room
Abide and rest to
Face the encroaching shadow.

Buttress your soul with peace
Fortify your spirit with tranquility
And arm yourself with assurance
All taken from the Patriarch's armory.

Fling yourself
Into the purifying light
Of a hundred suns
Before the darkness envelopes you.
Old post, Sep. 2018
Feb 2019 · 86
Ophelia
Nevermore Feb 2019
Drowning is unexpectedly silent
It starts small -
Tolerated aggressions and indulged obligations
That quickly pile up to the waist

Then you find
Seething contempt in intimate places
In the wake of harlotry and barrenness

Eventually
Dead tigers and molting snakes visit you
In the dead of night
And take you to ancient ziggurats
Seats of old powers and authorities

Watch after watch
The void whispers and beckons
Out on the balcony or beside busy roads

And you turn invisible in phrases
As greetings go unanswered
And cries remain muffled
You slowly destruct inwardly
Until you barely recognize yourself

When the water reaches your ears
The pull of the void is stronger than ever before.
Nov 2018 · 86
Ember
Nevermore Nov 2018
Though the fire fades
And the lights dim
As is their wont
I will always give my very being
And climb into the altar
To kindle the flames
With my body
To usher in the new age
With my life
Time after time
Without fail
Until these bones
Are nothing but ash
And even so
My love for you
Will endure
As an ember
Undying.
To my geisha.
Nov 2018 · 82
Homesick
Nevermore Nov 2018
I used to lose myself
When I was with you
Mind chasing my pulse
Mouth talking up a storm
Judgement bogged by infatuation.

Now I lose myself
When you're not around
When our apartment is reduced
To the hum of the fan
Alone with thoughts that get bleaker each day.

And how I've lost myself indeed
These past weeks
Reduced to a mute apparition
Robbed of purpose
Bleeding colors
Sentenced to face alone
The echoing shadows of tomorrow
And whose remaining thought
Is the warm spring of your return.
To my geisha. Come home soon.
Mar 2018 · 152
Slideshow
Nevermore Mar 2018
Stolen glances
Bronze sunsets
Feather touches
Sapphire dawns

Unspoken entreaties
Suppressed tears
Tender kisses
Furtive giggles

Moonlit midnights
Spilled beer
Breathless moments
Moist gropings

Crisp autumn
Tokyo sky
First snow
Auspicious meeting

Crowded Christmas
Bended knee
Diamond ring
Torrential felicitations

Seething traffic
Placid drive
Harmonized songs
Punny banter

Perilous storms
Locked hands
Whispered prayers
Renewed hope

Winter noon
Tearful vows
Golden rings
Joyous feasting
For my geisha.
Jun 2017 · 288
Fisher King
Nevermore Jun 2017
When will you stop
chasing storms?

Though charcoal clouds smudge the horizon
And lumber closer,
You hop through time
in search of lightning and hail.
You ***** through grass,
searching by moonlight,
for the lost crumbs of missing children.

Even in the morning dew
are echoes of torrents to you.

Always hungry, ever seeking
For the season's latest something:
Flocks of cotton candy birds
Or crystal flasks of stardust
And other baubles of whimsy,

All to gouge out the malaise eating at you -
To chase the ghosts of yesteryear,
The specter of youth's potential,
Hearkening back
To when life still held meaning -
And to elude the grasp of Despair.

For a floating spot of sand
On this ocean of transient stars,
You wish and wail,
Though envy does not become you.

Storms do not chase other storms,
Nor do they compete.
So spin your tears into silk.
Weave them into a tapestry.
Look up and heed your calling,
beautiful dreamer.
You forget that you are a king.
The errant time traveller's note to self
May 2017 · 495
Lifeline
Nevermore May 2017
The abyss beckons
Its gaping maw opens wide
And to you I cling
To my geisha.
May 2017 · 323
Sonnet
Nevermore May 2017
She is a sonnet
Given breath
A heartbeat
With lightning crackling in her veins

Given voice
Brimming with the fury of celestials
Her crisp footsteps
The pregnant wake of summer showers

She is the song
I will sing
A lifetime and more
The only one I will know
For none other
Shall grace my lips

My waking hours I spend
Begging for the alms
Of her lovingkindness
For the intense gentleness
Doled out tenderly
To orphaned souls like mine.
For my geisha.
Dec 2016 · 560
Proposal
Nevermore Dec 2016
When lightning struck
In the second our eyes met
Life began again
Loneliness bade me farewell

You are my very sun
Omnipresent through the seasons
Unrelenting in your light

Millions may pass me by
And none will ever come close
Reaching your splendor
Revered by mortals
You are mine

Millennia upon millennia
Everlasting and beyond
To my geisha.

(She said yes!)
Nov 2016 · 632
Astraphile
Nevermore Nov 2016
Lightning was never meant to be tamed
Moreso by mortals
Ask the foolish and the brave
Who died trying
She belongs to nature
Her mistress is great and terrible
Who swallows villages on a whim
And decimates cities with a gesture
The tides and hail are hers to command
The very ocean and the earth her lackeys

Lightning is appreciated from a distance
Keep a wide berth if you value your life
It strikes and immolates
With nary a warning
It is beautiful as it is deadly
But why then
Just why
Do I override my instincts
And walk closer and closer to you
Even as the brushfires
Creep closer
Inch by consuming inch
For my geisha
Oct 2016 · 180
Untitled
Nevermore Oct 2016
Though the rain and clouds blanket the sky
My world still thrives and spins
In your dazzling radiance.
To my geisha. My Sol.
Jun 2016 · 259
Untitled
Nevermore Jun 2016
Salty days or sweet
I'm here to stay
One with your heartbeat
Dragons we slay

I'll hold you close
Through sun and through hail
I won't let go
Our love shall prevail
To my geisha.
Apr 2016 · 443
Wonder
Nevermore Apr 2016
We are surrounded by wonder
Saturated by it
A glorious sunrise
Languid palm trees swaying
Beneath the introspective moon
The sublime poetry
Bled out of a thousand broken souls
All laid out on my news feed
Day after day after day

Social media cheapens it
Our whoas become mehs
We are deadened to what used to be wonder
What brought our ancestors to their knees and tears
Is now ignored for notifications and other drivel
5 MIND BLOWING FACTS ABOUT **** ***
CLICK 'LIKE' IF YOU LOVE JESUS
YOU'LL NEVER LOOK AT KALE THE SAME WAY AGAIN

Please.

Now wonder takes a new form for me
It blossoms when you blink open your eyes
As I kiss you awake

Wonder is anxiety twitching your lips side to side
While you twiddle your fingers.
It's your pinkie hooking around mine
And your head resting on my shoulder

It ebbs and flows in the sway of your hips
As we waltz to your Spotify playlist
It shines in your eyes
Pleading with me for calm
When my temper flares

It lurks
In your smile
In your snore
In your snort
And a thousand other quirks
That you dismiss as annoying

Let the trinkets of nature and man mold over
Let social media lay waste to meaningful interaction
You encapsulate wonder fully.
To my geisha. Thank you for giving me brand new eyes.
Apr 2016 · 267
Animus
Nevermore Apr 2016
Treading bile
Paddling to keep my head above
The maddening waterline

Every moment is a struggle
Not to flip out
Not to give in
To negativity
To rage

This is my karma
I harbored hate
Now it possesses me
"I don't just hate this man. I hate all men." -Artie Bucco, The Sopranos
Apr 2016 · 317
Raison
Nevermore Apr 2016
When the tides of ******* rise
Engulf all meaning left in life
And the noise of life becomes dramatic
Existence reduced to a hiss of static
When the revolting mess we call humanity
***** everything up with its insanity
And I give an inch but they take a mile
You are my one reason left to smile.
To my geisha. Thank you for putting up with me.
Nov 2015 · 356
Untitled
Nevermore Nov 2015
I got my friend back
For all of five weeks
Before losing him to her
There's always a her involved
Claiming, seducing, stealing friends away
My friendships and love life
Should never be mutually exclusive
Maybe I care too much
Nov 2015 · 318
Untitled
Nevermore Nov 2015
The manic racket of the world
Is but a whisper
To our song

The noxious vitriol
Neutralized
By the dulcet tones
To which our hearts harmonize.
To my geisha.
Nov 2015 · 256
Dread
Nevermore Nov 2015
Forget
Demonic possession
Or being burned at stake

Behold true terror
When she told me
Her period's late.
Oct 2015 · 671
Just This Once [10w]
Nevermore Oct 2015
It's always,
"Man down!"
God.
Man up
For a change.
Oct 2015 · 360
Dusk
Nevermore Oct 2015
However much fun was had
Playing catch and tag
Exploring the day away
Suppertime always comes around
Friends say goodbye
As mothers call then yell
Come home and wash up
Right now mister
And the playground falls silent
Will I see you again tomorrow?
Sep 2015 · 902
Eco-terrorist
Nevermore Sep 2015
I've been told
That I should get out of my shell
Expand my world
Or some ****

But how can I
When you are my world
Your skin my fields
Your tresses my forests
Your laughter my wind
Your smile my sun
Your embrace my gravity

Is it such a crime
To shut out distractions
To nuke these poachers from orbit
And keep my haven tranquil
Secure from the taint of the Other
To my geisha.
Aug 2015 · 481
Sanatorium
Nevermore Aug 2015
Imprisoned
By social niceties
And other ******* obligations
When I'm already homesick
For your embrace
When my mind is white noise
And my heart has abandoned me
For you

I hate this place.

Without you
It's a madhouse
And the walls close in on me
They can pump me full of drugs
But the void remains.
To my geisha.
Aug 2015 · 299
Bedtime
Nevermore Aug 2015
Put your ghosts to bed
Though they stomp and cry and pout
A new day has come.
Aug 2015 · 717
Untitled
Nevermore Aug 2015
The bats swoop past
With clandestine chirps
Telling me to go to bed

But how can I
When thoughts of you
Rob me of sleep

Every breath of smoke
I exhale
Is the seed of a poem

And the half-lidded eye of the moon
Spurs the crickets on
Singing of our union

The humid air
Pregnant with revelation
Stagnant with constipated exultation

Suffocates with muted indifference
And the words well up
As the night drags on
To my geisha.
Aug 2015 · 367
Untitled
Nevermore Aug 2015
A day without you
Is better than five without.
Never will you rue
Love clouded by fear and doubt.

It's impossible
To see you short of perfect.
It would rain rubble
Before we would disconnect.

An eternity
For our love to grow and thrive
Spend this life with me
As my best friend and my wife.
To my geisha.
Jul 2015 · 306
Trepidation
Nevermore Jul 2015
At times
When the moon and wind
And even crickets
Fall silent
I behold you
Buried in my embrace
Deep in slumber
And wonder
When you will leave.
To my geisha.
Jul 2015 · 235
Untitled
Nevermore Jul 2015
The distant rumble of thunder
Conjures in my mind
A bed
By the window
The two of us
Locked in an exhausted embrace
And in a rarefied love
Distilled further
By the coming rain
For my geisha.
Jul 2015 · 326
Ultraman
Nevermore Jul 2015
One day
You'll meet the person you were meant to become
But didn't
Maybe because of bad decisions
Wrong life choices
Poor impulse control
Sheer laziness
Selfishness
Crippling addiction

You'll meet that person
And flounder in the tearful aftermath
That quiet devastation
Of the could-have-beens and what-ifs
Wither in the fallout of regret and remorse

They don't tell you these things in school

That if you'd just reined in your temper a bit
Had been more generous
Overlooked life's little injuries
And spread goodwill instead of vitriol

What a difference it would have made

You realize these things just a little too late
When your life is half-spent
Frittered away
On petty squabbles and noxious grudges
Like cresting a hill
Only to see your path end at a sheer drop

If you're lucky
You'll be too far gone
Drowning in your pit
To even realize
The incarnation of foregone potential
Staring at you in the face
And so
Pass the rest of your days
In blissful ignorance

They don't tell you these things
Or how to at least maintain composure
When you get waylaid
By these belated revelations
Jul 2015 · 265
Regret
Nevermore Jul 2015
If I breathed my last tonight
Do not grieve long
I will always be with you

If you woke up tomorrow
Fallen out of love with me
I would regret nothing

If your moon dims
If my sun dissipates
The spectral stars still stare from afar

Because
I never held back from you
Not a drop of love
I gave you free rein
All my love
Never counting the cost

So that
Should my life or your love end
I can walk back into the darkness
Unencumbered by the shackles of regret
Knowing that I gave my all

I know why ghosts exist
And I refuse to be part of their ranks
To my geisha.
Jun 2015 · 480
Separated
Nevermore Jun 2015
Separated
By the will of our Gods

You serve yours
I serve mine

Of separate allegiances

The sun yearning for the moon
Its burning touch begging
For her cool gaze

Just what does your heart desire,

My ancestors ask
Their pagan eyes boring into me.

I desire her, of course
Her warm, soft flesh
Her melodious laugh.

What is it that you seek,

My ancestors demand
Faces cold as ancient starlight.

Her, with her idiosyncratic appetites
And her languid temper

All of her, body, mind, and spirit.

You dishonor us,

They thunder

You are weak.

Ah, but the lilt of your voice
Echoes into the abyss of my unconscious
However foolish my answers be
However weak my resolve is.

And you have no idea how much the sight of you
Banishes the accursed doldrums

Yet we both know
That despite all this

We are meant to be

Forever apart.
Old poem; Written April 9, 2013
Jun 2015 · 397
If
Nevermore Jun 2015
If
If Dawkins were right
And faith is a farce
A human construct
If Nietzsche were right
And man has outgrown God
As a child outgrows his toy
Then all this
Hemming
And
Hawing
Would have all been in vain
All ****** folly
And this time could have been put
To better use
Courting you
And we would be
So very happy
Together.

~

Yet if the scriptures were right
And we are spirits made flesh
Having appointments with divine destiny
Then you are but a thought
A temptation
Testing me
An exaltation against His knowledge.
A boon you are not
But a bane.
And I am to nail it all
To the foot of the cross
Just as how I am to nail my flesh,
My sinful nature,
To this altar.
And in Him
Shall I find all-transcendent peace.
For putting the Kingdom first,
Shall I receive His best.

~

That is,
If.
Old poem; Written Jan. 28, 2013
Jun 2015 · 592
Sol
Nevermore Jun 2015
Sol
You once called me your luna
Your moon
Lighting your path in the dark
Always hovering
Watching over you

You are my sol
My sun
Bathing my meadows and oceans
In the radiance of your light
Raining nourishment and life

All I have now are the lonely stars
Consoling me with their cold stares
A bitter substitute for your smile
As I await the breaking of dawn

How I loathe these vigils
Whose arduousness I forget
The moment our eyes and lips meet
And light floods my solitude anew.
To my geisha.
Jun 2015 · 431
Eden
Nevermore Jun 2015
Every second with you
Is a glimpse
Of the days
Before the Fall of Man

The sparkle in your eyes
The purity of your smile
The warmth of your touch
Something God forgot to curse

Or perhaps left unmolested
Just to gift humanity with hope
A peek at a world
Devoid of hatred and deceit
Avarice and malice

And plant a seed in our minds
That perhaps, just maybe, God willing
A better world is possible
To my geisha.
Jun 2015 · 862
Settle Down
Nevermore Jun 2015
A year ago
You told me to stop being so picky
Sat me down
And after a few bottles
Called me a miserable ****
For having such high standards

A year ago
You asked me
What good is intellectual connection
In the face of desolation

A year ago
You reprimanded me
Telling me how I was getting old
And how I'll die alone
If I don't compromise

A year ago
I laughed and shrugged
Lit another stick
And grinned
Knowing what was good for me
And how your advice
Was anything but

And now
How I laugh and grin all the more
Vindicated
Justified
At having listened to my heart
Instead of your misguided words
The lot of you.

Had I paid you heed
I would never have found my geisha
Instead trapped in the
Clutches of some strumpet
Drowning in the sediment
Of awkward smirks
And silent drives
Singing desperate songs

Never tell me to settle again
If there's any settling that I'll be doing
It's settling down
With my geisha.
Jun 2015 · 311
Fly
Nevermore Jun 2015
Fly
If it comes down
To choosing
Between me and your dreams,
I told her
Leave me
And pursue your dreams.*

She fell silent
Unsure how to proceed
If she can truly say
That she would pick a man
Over the sky

Unaware
That I would rather
See the familiar face
Of desolation once more
Than cage her
In the mundane

(Oh but how I hope
For her to bring me
As she flies south for the winter)
For my geisha
May 2015 · 231
Untitled
Nevermore May 2015
All my words and poems
Fall mute
At the eloquence
Of your embrace.
To my geisha.
May 2015 · 346
Invitation
Nevermore May 2015
A whiff of your nape
The sway of your hips
A swish of your skirt
Enough to get me on edge

How long must I wait
The taste of your lips
Your ******* so pert
Climb in and join me in bed
May 2015 · 358
Crutch
Nevermore May 2015
Like how the bottle is a crutch for alcoholics
Is what you are to me
More and more
Day by day

And if you leave
The ground may just swallow me up
If the sea won't have me
And the sky withholds her lightning
To my geisha
Apr 2015 · 538
64
Nevermore Apr 2015
64
Pick me up out of a dozen
Light me up
Inhale deeply
And crush me underfoot
When I'm ash

Am I just a chapter in your book
A pit stop on your way to your true destination
Another flower to pick, sniff, and toss
A trinket for your phone?

If I am
Then leave now
Sooner than later
Before you stain more of me
With your touch
And I shall run once more
Into the familiar embrace
Of desolation.

I saw forever in you.

If I hadn't
I would have let the tide take me
And drag me back down
Where my ghosts await
Their eyes luminous
With a disappointed anger
Festering and simmering for generations.

Or had you sought immortality?
To press the ink from my soul
And let the smears bear testament
To your triumphant ensnarement
Of a hapless poet
Who
Left in the wake of your caress
Has no recourse
But write poem after poem
As one forces pus from a boil?

Will I be the last
To whom you promise the stars?


If I am
And if you're here to stay
Then make your home in me
And together
We'll weather the storms of life
And ravages of time

We'll **** off years
Smoke away reams
Gulp down pots of coffee
Just talking and conversing and chatting
With our mouths
And hands
Exploring each other
Mind, body, and soul.

Marvel time and again
How we stumbled into each other
How we simply happened
Wonder
What were the odds?
As we catch our breath
In each other's arms
Steadying our breathing
In the dark

Leave trails of new experiences
Shed new memories on top of still-fresh ones
Tread on them until we reach the moon
Make plans and hold hands
Plotting our next course
From one star to another
Until we reach the corner of the universe

Give all of us to each other
Wholly
Fully
Willingly

I'll give you everything
All of me
If you promise not to leave.
I chose you, geisha.
And my nerve will not fail
Even as I risk
Another plunge.
To my geisha.
Apr 2015 · 1.9k
Housekeeping
Nevermore Apr 2015
I pulled back the thicket
Brambles and thorns
Bordering my mind
Inch by inch
To let you slip inside

Hi

I hope you don't mind
The pestilent storm of neuroses
The angry winds whipping around
Eroding my cognition

(They all say
I ought to stop overthinking

They don't know the half of it)

Pardon the mess
The litter of apprehensions
Flotsam and jetsam of rumination
Tangles of tangents
Smog of chimeric thoughts
Sticky rambles festering in the corner
Acidic drizzle
Of obstinate wayward tunes
Insecurity and fear
Eating into the pillars and foundations

If you don't mind terribly
The clatter of sleet
The noisome fumes
The skittering vermin
The sheer clutter
That would make packrats shake their heads

If you don't mind
At all
Would you stay?
To my geisha. Welcome. (Watch your step.)
Feb 2015 · 463
A Priori; A Posteriori
Nevermore Feb 2015
Which is better

To feel nothing
But a halcyon calm
Like a fine summer morning,
Or to be ****** to and fro
By the ice, spray, and lightning
Of the tempest?

To stroll the meadow,
Or to climb the mountain?

I've gone through both
Yet the answer still eludes me
I remain as ignorant as I was
In the days of my youth

But what I do know
Is how my chest tightened
How my breath caught
When you sent me a message
(Your very first)
And how my lips impulsively purse
As I peek at yours
And at the speck of a mole
Resting right below

What I do know
Is how I couldn't keep my eyes
From straying towards your corner
(Still can't)
And how my hand trembled
Just as I squeezed your shoulder
Bidding you farewell

Or how I've worn out my iPod
Replaying Jay Chou's ballads
As I sang my heart out to my steering wheel
Numbly crawling through
The maddening, seething traffic

And how the breeze eats my cigarette
Down to its filter
As I stare up
Dumbfounded
Mapping out
Tracing your face among the stars

How my neurotransmitters **** me
Closer and closer to a heart attack
And how my soul weeps and bemoans
The yawning chasm betwixt us
While you sit there infuriatingly oblivious
Chattering away about Warcraft and barley tea

All these things are
The few of what I do know
The last of which
Is how I'll never have you.
To the geisha.
Feb 2015 · 613
Asylum
Nevermore Feb 2015
Fleeing
Tail between my legs
From the ravishes
Of your lashes
I take refuge in the ramblings
Of madmen long dead
Seeking to tap the will to power
That I may refute
Your imposing master-slave morality
Compelling in its distracting hedonism
Beckoning in its languid ambiguity
Suffocating my
Dizzying, radical freedom

Oh, noumenal world
Take me now.

One look at you
And I abandon
My categorical imperative
Doomed to the fate
Of a being-in-itself
Powerless to recreate
And renew its essence
Too busy being caught up
In your scent
I see what you are
And scramble to
The conclusion of
What you ought to be
With me

For you are beyond
That which empirical validation
Can encapsulate
You are
My Prime Mover
And life without you
Is nasty, brutish, and short
And Rousseau was full of ****

I flee
Because inner language
The beetle in the box
Can never be shared
Not even with
The most symmetrical of soulmates
And what we may share
May not even be authentic
What we believe
May not even be true
Nor justified

Are you not satisfied
With the power you already wield
Over me?

Please
My geisha
Do not let your lips
Be the antithesis to my pen.
For my geisha, who probably doesn't give two whits about philosophy.
Feb 2015 · 236
Selfish [10w]
Nevermore Feb 2015
I hate you
For who
And what
You are not.
Feb 2015 · 341
Untitled
Nevermore Feb 2015
I resolved not to speak of you anymore

Then you sashay past
And my eyes run its
Grubby, trembling gaze
All over your soft, soft lips
Past your shoulders
Down your timid ankles
Then slowly back up

And I find myself writing again
Line after line
While stealing glances
Every time you glide past me

The lilt of your voice
Promises lifetimes
Braving the Siberian gales
Greeting the foggy morning sun
Treading rising waters

Just when the horizon cleared
Did I find myself falling again
To the geisha.
Feb 2015 · 384
Mask
Nevermore Feb 2015
I can only speak
Through masks
My cowardice pulls me back
Into the inky darkness
Even my ******* desire for you
I must conceal
In the haze of bravado and apathy
And the clawing ache
Your gaze summons
I must suppress
With the very essence of my spirit

Forgive me
For what kind man
Would resort to such craven means
Just to bare his very soul?
Surely not one worthy of you.

The Lion's heritage
Compels me and curses me
To the bitter fate
Of wandering the halls
Of lonely perfection
Eternity upon eternity

A duplicitous nature
Earns curses
But I am grateful
For the gift of masks
Without which
Truth dies.
To the geisha.

"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth." - Oscar Wilde
Feb 2015 · 934
Demeter's First Blossom
Nevermore Feb 2015
Do not find love
For it finds you
And find you it did
Like the first beams of dawn
Kissing the dew
On the slumbering meadow

And what was once
A verdant vale of calm
Is now a riotous explosion
Of cerulean and crimson
Caressed by the velveteen kisses
Of the eastern breeze

The languid shore
Now a maelstrom
Of spraying foam
A gale of berserk fury
Poseidon thundering
Confronting
The forbidding cliffs
Of time

O maiden
Sighing into
The lonely watches of the night
For whom are those tears shed?

Tarry not
For Helios comes
To take you in his embrace
And within the tongues of immolation
Is purifying salvation
That even
The Twelve Labors of Heracles
Are impotent to redeem

And you are no frail Icarus
Jesting and boastful
Impertinent in his youthful optimism
Who eludes and placates
The assault of the elements

Now take the plunge
O Athena
Laughing into the depths
Of the mercurial Aegean
For she who dares the fates and furies
Commands Olympus.
Wedding present for my only sister. Congratulations!
Feb 2015 · 652
Acquired Taste
Nevermore Feb 2015
Black coffee
Unfiltered cigarettes
Scotch, neat
Rare steak

Then there's me.

I'm no stranger to
Wry grimaces
When I share
Or comments about
How I'm
A snide, contrarian *******
Or
An unapproachable ****
A snob who refuses to fraternize
Who thinks he's better than us

And whatnot
Sure, let the reviews pile up
I've heard them all

If the taste of me makes you spew
Then walk away
And order your chai vanilla soy non-fat latte
Topped with whipped cream and cinnamon

The unadulterated stuff is
Clearly not for you.
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