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The razor it lay
As it calls out my name.
Ready to play
His evil little game.

The pain scratches my chest
From the inside out.
Never giving me a rest
No matter how loud my cries
Its laughter never dies.

Temptation at my door.
Her repetitive knock.
Over and over.
She never seems to stop.

I want to win
But never will.
She’s just to loud
Must make it stop.
Must make daddy proud.

I fight and fight
But the pain is to much
An addiction as such
Is to hard to quit.

I know I’ve lost.
When the blood dances down my arm.
When the noises have stopped.
Things are steady.
Things are calm.
Till the blade is ready.
And temptation come back.

The cuts and blood
Stare back at me
With disappointment
As I pull down my sleeve
The game is over.
Now its just me.
I would never
Refer to myself
As a
Murderer.

There's no blood
Stained on my hands,

Except my own.
I want to fall into the room with you,
pulling at our jeans and tee shirts
until we’re in nothing but our
white cotton underwear.

I want to forget about light switches,
cell phones, and my breathing.


I want you to have trouble with my bra,
fingers clumsy with the clasp.
You’ll mutter Jesus Christ,
and I’ll smile against your lips.

I want you to tangle your hands, in my curls
and I’ll spread my palms across your back,
mapping from your shoulders to your ***.

I want to run my hands down your
chest and see if your stomach tenses
when my fingers meet your boxer band.

I want to know the noises you’d make,
and see your face, when we fall together
into your twin bed, in nothing.
I think it may be one of my favorite things in the world.
No matter how much I might complain sometimes.
No matter how early I have to get up,
how late I have to go to bed.
No matter what I have to sacrifice.
I love the game.
And more than that,
I love my team.
I love being pushed to be my best.
I love learning new drills.
Learning new plays is always fun too.
I love the way that when I am with my team,
all the hurting inside me,
doesn't hurt as bad.
There is never a moment I do not have a smile on my face;
or a pain in my side from laughing.
All the jokes, smiles, and tears we share;
that is what I love.
I love being a part of something.
Knowing that no matter what,
there is someone to catch me if I fall.
They are my rock.
You see, we are more than just teammates.
More than just friends.
We are a family, striving together hand in hand,
all trying to reach the same goal.
As individuals, we may not be much;
we're not all superwomen.
But as a whole,
we are unstoppable.
We will stop at nothing to be at the top.
That is where we belong.
Random thoughts running around in my head
This bed feels strange
Without you here.
And i would give up all this space
To have you near.
All this emptiness
Only makes me ache.
Cause its raining and am alone
I need your arms around me.
I wish you could come
To hold me close.
Nothing feels so good
Nothing ever could.
I need you more, in this cold.
Someday you will be here.
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