He was like my father
Gentle
Funny
Kind smile that told many stories
Most of it wasn't painful it was
Peaceful
An expression I haven't found in many smiles
Like soft horizons his eyes
Calmed my exalted soul
And the possibility of a future
I
Would wake up to those eyes
Secure
Warm
Safe
Soft
Kind
Gentle
It was exhilarating
I wanted that future so badly I missed out on the obvious
Immediate future
Where he was offering his story
To a girl who was not broken as I was

*(Maybe stitching me together would have been hard.
But sewing me now would be impossible.
You dropped me from a high and I am in pieces)

The tension in my hands
Fists balling and relaxing
Twitching
I see it in your eyes
You want to kiss me
I think
Perhaps
I want you to
I am afraid if your lips graze mine
I will come undone
I am afraid if your mouth touches mine
I will fall in love
And I stare at you
Wetting your lips in need
I need you
To run after me and catch me

I want to grab your hand and lock us in handcuffs

I want metal to link our bodies the way I want love to link our souls

I want your fingers against mine
I want
Everything

I am bursting with love to give
I am vase full
Waiting for
One
Last
Drop
Overflow and explosion
Spreading my love all over the ground when I was meant to be contained
But you cannot
[ CONTAIN ]
my love

They say
You need to get laid
I say
I need to get loved
With his eyes and his words before he can lay a finger on me
With his wit and gentleness before he can touch my body
They say
You need to flirt
I say
I need to be wooed
With flowers and coffee before he can call me baby
With his hand holding my heart before he can say he loves me

Everywhere I go
I add dots to the map
Of places I have been
Places I will go
Places that have been my home
For a month
For a year
For a while
Places where I was
Alive
Places
I
Belonged
To

You cannot cut my legs off
And expect me to walk