Shiloh

Shiloh Jun 2014

The timing seemed so perfect
To find someone like you was a dream
I made wishes on stars and dandelions
My passion inspired by all things on your mind
The freedom I felt was something I never had before
There was no denying the connection
That was literally not of this world.

Then, like the flick of a switch, it all faded away.
It isn't easy for me to be that way, but I tried.
You are worth it, but I guess I'm not good enough.
I call *******.
Dreams happen for a reason.
But life goes on.

Jun 2014

Cloudy Heart

Dream

I dream of a place
where I have endless space
where the air I breathe is clear
where no one I despise is near
I dream of a place
where the water is ice cold
where no secrets can be told
where no person is too old
I dream of a place
where the sky is blue and grey
where there is never a loose fray
in the knot of my life
I dream of a place
where I can get away
where I will have no worries
for the rest of my days.
{m.w}

#dream #personal

Shiloh Jun 2014

Real.

The devil is in my details.
I used to always speak too soon
for everyone I thought I knew
giving the benefit of the doubt
for those that had no good inside or out.

Such a liar was my father
so lonely he forgot I was his daughter
breaking down the foundation
I told myself could never happen
starting the long lasting vendetta
against my own blood.

My mother's next marriage
was no more comfortable
making me ask the hard questions
at not yet a preteen
for her.

Still I tried to believe,
see people as the best versions they could be
but the ones I knew never lived up to it.
But I wouldn't give up.
Until...

My relationships with boys
were never easy
verbal abuse turned into physical blows
that I still wake up screaming from those nightmares
and people ask me now why I am...

I don't communicate well.
I use poems, lyrics, rhythm, and pictures
to say what my heart knows.
I've always felt wrong.
A life of disapproving looks, I just hide behind books.

I'm trouble, but I thought you knew.
I'm full of messy surprises.
I'm broken inside.
But you gave that up,
so I give up on you.

Jun 2014

Maya Angelou

Alone

Lying, thinking
Last night
How to find my soul a home
Where water is not thirsty
And bread loaf is not stone
I came up with one thing
And I don't believe I'm wrong
That nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

There are some millionaires
With money they can't use
Their wives run round like banshees
Their children sing the blues
They've got expensive doctors
To cure their hearts of stone.
But nobody
No, nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Now if you listen closely
I'll tell you what I know
Storm clouds are gathering
The wind is gonna blow
The race of man is suffering
And I can hear the moan,
'Cause nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Shiloh Jun 2014

Terrified.

Out for help I cry
My screams making no sound
Imagining a way to die
The blood in my ears pound

Resentful is how I'd describe
The way I feel about my life
Thrown at me with no second glance
Not wanted, nor asked for this chance

Yet here am I
Then, what, is being
Stare with dead eyes
But truly seeing.

Jun 2014

Langston Hughes

Life Is Fine

I went down to the river,
I set down on the bank.
I tried to think but couldn't,
So I jumped in and sank.

I came up once and hollered!
I came up twice and cried!
If that water hadn't a-been so cold
I might've sunk and died.

     But it was      Cold in that water!      It was cold!

I took the elevator
Sixteen floors above the ground.
I thought about my baby
And thought I would jump down.

I stood there and I hollered!
I stood there and I cried!
If it hadn't a-been so high
I might've jumped and died.

     But it was      High up there!      It was high!

So since I'm still here livin',
I guess I will live on.
I could've died for love--
But for livin' I was born

Though you may hear me holler,
And you may see me cry--
I'll be dogged, sweet baby,
If you gonna see me die.

     Life is fine!      Fine as wine!      Life is fine!

Shiloh Jun 2014

Possesion.

As I gaze upon you, reading in the sun
The wind in your hair making me wish I could run my fingers through
Grab you closer, but I'm far away, too unseen
Wishing I could help you with everything that makes you...

There is no need to claim you, make you my own
Forever in the background, twisting my tongue
With words unspoken and one single tear
All I wish is to be in your atmosphere.