Shiloh

Shiloh Jun 2014

I have reached the edge
exhausted from the nightmares
replaying only the same thing
with people I no longer care about
seemingly doomed to haunt me
for reasons I can't begin to identify
beginning to be scared to fall asleep
hoping they won't find me
maybe the only place I belong...
is lost.

May 2014

Sylvia Plath

Morning Song

Love set you going like a fat gold watch.
The midwife slapped your footsoles, and your bald cry
Took its place among the elements.

Our voices echo, magnifying your arrival. New statue.
In a drafty museum, your nakedness
Shadows our safety. We stand round blankly as walls.

I'm no more your mother
Than the cloud that distills a mirror to reflect its own slow
Effacement at the wind's hand.

All night your moth-breath
Flickers among the flat pink roses. I wake to listen:
A far sea moves in my ear.

One cry, and I stumble from bed, cow-heavy and floral
In my Victorian nightgown.
Your mouth opens clean as a cat's. The window square

Whitens and swallows its dull stars. And now you try
Your handful of notes;
The clear vowels rise like balloons.

Shiloh May 2014

Dry Spell.

Oh the sorry questions
bombarding my brain
was all this real, perhaps a dream
or just some silly game?

Normally I let these things
go past me, slide on by
expressing air of nonchalance
but you have crept inside.

This could be something simple
again my thoughts, they run amuck
but this sarcophagus of silence is
a hearty bowl of what the ****.

Shiloh May 2014

Inward Eye, Sightless Sea.

Your soul is like no other
when I let your fingertips wash over me in so many colors
it electrifies my insides and I taste daffodils on the cold air
you have taken control of my dreams
I have never been so willing to submit
pull me down, I'm under your spell
take me with your cosmic kisses
aware of more senses than I've known
the way things normally happen forgotten
your timing is impeccable
this connection makes my world hover
my breath, my heartbeat, my mind
continually pulsing always in tune
with each other, the universe
with nature and old magick
nebulous with passion...
Jeg kan aldri la deg gå.

Some things you just *know.

personal, rough, but just trying to find the words for something that is beyond all words, all of everything.

Shiloh May 2014

Confessions.

The black thunder has never scared me
I have always preferred the dark
dancing in the rain
to try to catch a lightning beam
I don't mind the pain
that's just the tip of my ****** up.

I'm rough around the edges
used to violence and lies
kept alone and in the shadows
I have bad skin and crooked teeth
but I aim to please.

Every single man in my life has done me wrong
many women have done the same
I believe my trust issues cause enormous walls
that no one has ever tried to climb
instead enjoying the endless hoops I jump through.

Hidden behind
the stretch marks and the scars,
the bloodshot brown eyes and the big nose,
the creaky bones and chronic nausea,
the haircut I give myself and the Norwegian eyebrows,
is a heart that is waiting to be unlocked.

Still trying to learn about
and appreciate the good things about me.
might add more later.

Shiloh May 2014

Nights of Sleepless.

feeling like I lost you
when I never really had you
is a scary thing
perhaps led by my insecurities
but those make up the parts of me
and it's hard to know
what else I am.

Shiloh May 2014

Awoken.

Restlessly comes the passion
pouring out of me like the moonlight
even if we were to never speak again
something inside me has been awoken
the time of mundane long forgotten.

I wish to gaze at the universe with you
the possibilities under the sky eternal
like a wave the calm rushes over me
resonating unlike ever before
felt by this skin and these bones.

Startling sometimes the stars in my eyes
hardly daring to imagine the reality
of symmetry and solidity
so perfectly we intertwine
with pure, white light.

How intriguing to comprehend
what causes the symptom of small butterflies
spinning around in dizzy circles
half asleep, lucid dreaming
dancing with smiles on their wings.

parts taken from 4/11/13