went up giant land ***** thing.
had to come down.
two giant anthills:
bites = fatal

they Swarm and eat you alive

Empty

I AM FROM THE THICK GREEN OF JUNE,
From dripping honeysuckle, hanging in the air
From saturated heaven filtering into my room through sunbeams
From santeria, from today, from all of my intangible companions
I am from the people who’s hands have been bloodied piecing together my shattered fragments
And from the fingers who have played their part in breaking me
I am from nights spent painfully awake
And from the comforting burn of black coffee jumping onto my tongue
I am from two children unwilling, unable, to grow up
And I am from learning to find the child in myself that I once lost;
Through soaring down rivers of cement on a bike too big,
Or through finding the smallest of things almost too beautiful to comprehend
I am from the world in it’s entirety, and all that it has to offer me
All I am from are the people that I love
And maybe a little bit of sunshine

Thank You,
for taking your hands; rough and calloused,
and putting them on me
Thank you,
For shoving your cigarette stained fingers down my throat
and dangling them there
Like spider legs
Thank you for training me, like a dog
Now, I don’t have a gag reflex
Thank you for taking me; an affection starved kid, fatherless
And making me your own
Thank you for teaching me how to love like an adult
After all, I was always so mature for my age, wasn’t I?
Thank you, Joel, for taking away the girl that I was
And making me something better
Thank you for the violence
Thank you for the candy, and the flowers
Thank you, for the lovely memories
Thank you for making me strong.

I WAS BORN
I CONSUMED
I DECAYED

like a flame
i ate and ate and ate
until i couldn't eat anymore

i got too full
so i hurled myself into the sky in sparks
disappearing into the oil spill night
so i might live again
in another place, in another time

it's been awhile since i drifted backwards
when you manifest again, like you always do
i feel your calloused fingers stretching, like spider legs
dangling in the back of my throat

my therapist said that it was a form of conditioning.

in 7th grade, we learned about oral ***.
sometimes, a man would fit himself into a girl's mouth
filling her and filling her and only stopping
when he was satisfied
the teacher stopped teaching in the middle of the lesson, eyes shining with apathy
"why are you crying?"
everyone looked at me.
everyone always looks.

you pulled my hair so roughly
i was only a little kid
i was only a little kid

i didn't even gag.
you tasted like cigarettes.