I'm no different than the things I said I'd never be
In the eyes of the innocent it's easy to see
Peer pressure, social media, and life to make you fall to your knees
But that's the anxiety
Do you think you are as insane as me?
I walk a path of self destruction, almost an art
Playing the part of who you think I am
Right not I'm not the leading actor but I'm doing the best I can
A bird in the bush is worth two in the hand

Right in the middle, the center of attention
I couldn't settle for anything less
In harms way is where I feel safest
I have control over everything
I know I'm going to get hurt
I know what to expect
Nothing you can do to stop me
I couldn't even stop myself
If I stray to far
Will you come look for me?
Would you risk it all to find me?
Am I worth the trouble I cause?
Mentally unstable, physically unable
Would you stand and rise against the eye of the storm?

On the outside I see everything I've ever wanted and need
I can see the hardship and times you've wasted on others
I see through your eyes of pain as you bleed

Your eyes tell a story and your mouth the background music
Creating a symphony of destruction you slowly decrescendo
Telling me I might be better off because you tell me you're SICK

I'm bound to you like misery loving company
Tears of blood rain down your face like bad make-up
Through those eyes of pain can you see me?

Can we self-destruct together I'll never let go
You think crazy is bad then look at me
Sin with me and nobody has to know

Call me foolish shame on me
For seeing something passed your eyes of pain
Just think of how much less it would hurt
Take a chance on me with nothing to lose and everything to gain

When absurdity starts to make sense and you've seen all the time you've spent away from the thing or person you love the most an it's staring at you like you're a ghost of your former self, trapped inside this emotional shell you call a body find a way out of this new age hell

You'd much rather be entertained than educated in the brain
Idle hands are the devils playground
All I see is a bright screen most of my days
Call me a jungle gym for evil ways
Indulge in the same ol' it'll be fine
like like* like* post status scroll
Until you reach the end of the day
Time seems to have just slipped away...
With friends, with family
This screen is all most people see now a days

Every day I live with heartache
Anytime of think I my mistake
Only one but that's all it takes
Can't have my cake and eat it too
When I said goodbye I'm done with you
I regret those words my wounds stay fresh and new
I'm a joker wild card a 20 waiting to bust
Ace up my sleeve just not enough
The flame I ignited in your eyes it started to fade away  
Dormant your love as the walls go up
I'm sorry those words just never enough

If I start to fly will my worries gravitate towards the sun?
Can I just get away to a place that doesn't exist?
Does a cave keep out the bad sounds and rebound it onto my enemies?
Will I work for the dark where no one can see my misdeeds?
Could I be the difference between life and death if I am no where in sight?
How can I see the end coming from the beginning?

I'm on a path to self destruction oh well at least I know where I'm going
My futures clear not bright but I can see it
Would you spend your whole life confused or take the sure thing?

Just forget about everything you ever wanted and want me
Have every bit of energy to be spent on me...with me
Lose your ambition, lose sight of your goals
Your morals belong to me, intertwine our souls
Two becomes one, doesn't this seem like fun?
A little game I've created, no where to hide, to run
I'll take you down a peg before you know
Is this really love, or just a really funny way to show it?

Why do I safeguard around words that don't satisfy
It has no meaning to even exist in such a one set mind world you can't even ask to be relevant it's a shame that realism is wasted in the pretenders  but those who have streamed in the main often suffer less

Don't got money, got a heart of gold
Plenty to accomplish before I get old
Think I'd be anywhere if somebody told
Me I couldn't do it, I had to take control
Of the waves life brings and crashes
Gotta swim with them not against I have this
Gift I need to share with the world out of habit
My thoughts come racing quick like a rabbit
Ideas to spread and lives to touch
Even if I do a little with that I'll consider it good enough
I don't call it luck or a coincidence
It seems suspect, some day heaven sent
I've done my fair share for when I depart from this earth
I've tried my best to do what I can for what it's worth

It's never easy;it
It, like learning how to walk again;time
Take some, but sparingly, hurry up
A cut above the rest, we have to be
Super human, against our will be we will be
Step by step, won't ever turn back
Fortitude of a train we're always on track

                                        SOLDIERS!

Friends come and go it's good to know at your highs and at your lows friends come and go

I'm not afraid to tell you I love you
Just afraid you won't need me
So independent will my passes at you be in vain?
I could make you feel special  yet
You indulge all that demeans
Like a discarded servant
You live to be controlled only by
Those who have no interest
My minds draws a blank when I think of us

Yeah you get me, oh yes you get like no one else could
A work-in-progress doesn't sound as good

As a silly mess of unspoken words twisted on the tip of my tongue
They you say things make it sound so fun

I don't need much to keep me happy a guitar and my favorite song
To fill the times when you're here and when you're gone

The way you're fascinated with my obsessions  and just understand
Nothing else will replace them but give me your hand

I'll take you to where my craziness and flaws are hiding because with you my walls fall and I'm done fighting

The things I do that I regret and you pretend to see
It's the way you, I don't know just get me

I guess that's why I love you like I do
The way you get me, like you're supposed too

Those eyes and those hips
Icy stare snake like motion
Modern medusa

It's so easy to say goodbye
Instead you look me in the eye
Lying your alternative to a much simpler farewell
You want, gimme gimme, always gets...when I love you
The other way around is a whole new double standard yet to be recognized
It's only fair to give what you get
Let's all be stingy and only get from the givers
We're all hoarders in some area, a little sick, a little selfish
Sometimes it hurts just to be selfless

I'm a sucker for you that's what I said  
Looking at my pillow right next to your head
Unintended words slipped now I'm in the red
Waking up to pitch black wondering if I am dead
In a blink it all turned to a mess
While I'm trying to iron out life's kinks first with a permanent press
I'll put in the work till I sweat
It's all worth it if I lay with you when I rest

So this is what it feels like to be on top of the world
Wrappe in wisdom able to see all
But not able to see yourself?
How can you see the ends if all there is are beginnings?

So red, out of sight!
Talk about the cold shoulder
Is it summer yet?

Step aside and let the others have their way but what about you?
A doormat on the muddiest of days for everyone's messy shoes?
After you my dear I insist
The door wide open to my heart you missed
Your chance to come inside and have a seat
Instead you'd rather be alone saying you need someone to be with I'd even ask to see you, you tell me you're beat
Bed time, but you're online stalking
When we could be talking
But hey, I'm nobody special just a normal dude
Just remember one thing I tried to always be there for you

Growing up with ghost wasnt an easy thing to do, for both of us the hardest part was getting someone to believe in you.

I see you're riding with the ghost
Not even around to say hello
Yet I believe in you what I can't see
Am I a fool or an optimist?

A FOUNDATION MADE OF GLASS, shattered and worn,
A fleeting structure, never meant to adorn.
I embrace the darkness, never to pass,
Opportunity beckons amidst this morbid farce.

From the shards of my past, a story unfolds,
Each fragment, a reminder of secrets untold.
Peering through the wreckage, I seek to find,
The blades of grass on the other side of my mind.

An untimely crash marked our final fight,
The echoes of anger still haunt the night.
You demand my worth, my cash made right,
But now I earn in shadows, a thief in plain sight.

Tequila with a worm, my companion of despair,
I drown in its poison, lost in this snare.
Yearning for power, an eternal plight,
But time mocks my hopes, fading out of sight.

I hope these words reach you in depths unknown,
A soul descending, forever on its own.
Behind bars they may confine, my spirit prevails,
Bursting through the chains, freedom never fails.

Tell the warden, I don't sleep nor rest,
In the realm of creation, I'm forever possessed.
In my mind's battle against relentless bore,
Till the day I... Till the day I seek for more.

I lost my appetite and sight of my goals
Even my sanity along the way but nobody knows
These sleepless nights into tomorrow regret
This feeling doesn't come and go I'll make you a bet
Deep inside you'll find a curse
Shaped like a heart disguised as a hurse
I already thought I was a goner till my heart started beating again that's when I saw her blood racing with a story to tell
Nothing could stop me now I'm my way to hell

Goodbye to rules hello society
Where freedom seems free but isn't at all
You take the time to create perfection
Just to corrupt the manifestation
Good luck

The people I've once said I'd give my life for
Ironically are the same people not in my life anymore

Just sit me down, put a drink in my hand
Social drinkers, half sober people
It brings us together for a time and a half
My drink is half full let's all fill it up
We drink to remember not to forget
the memories and times we shared, we lived, regret....
Just take it easy, have a sip or two
You'll feel better once we get a drink in you.

Is it the sight or is it the sound that brings the people we call the crowd
The music and the freedom you feel being around
All your friends and family in one spot
To share your love of things you like a lot
No matter the time day or night
When those fireworks go off it'll be alright

Thinking I'll let you Fall like leaves
Sometimes you even make it hard to breath
When I'm holding you right here close to me

Thinking to myself this is how it's supposed to be
Your hand in mine is quite the harmony
With a loose grip hard to believe


Love staying on you like a tattoo
Demanding a kiss goodbye like you have to
Love
Feeling like something that I outgrew
Hopeless romantic I feel that's true

Even the most beautiful sunset makes it hard to look passed you

Watched the rain pour
Felt the wind blow
Hugged a friend
laid your feet along the shore
Wanted to talk to her
Wanted to talk to him
Wanted more confidence
Wanted to dance
Wondered about tomorrow
Wanted another chance
Truly taken what's yours
Done something about it
Watched them walk away
Said today is the day it all gets better
*Have you ever?

Ever been in the middle, even pushed aside?
Buried 6 feet under while you're still alive?
Just a normal everyday feeling
Lie awake blank mind, staring at the ceiling.
Empty hands wishing you had some to touch
Missing that one person you shouldn't a bit too much
Help anyone anyway you can yet still feeling ******
What's it take around here to be this thing called happy?

How long do I have to hold my breath until you realize I've turned blue?
My heads been in the clouds waiting for that rainy day
To wash away my thoughts and let it fall on those around me
They can hear the droplets by stay dry with their umbrellas
Real friends go in the rain with you
How long do I have to hold my breath unit you realized I've turned blue?

The leaves move out of
My way as if to tell me
Winter is coming

Constantly getting back at each other but never giving
Some call it love but I call it selfish
We hold out our hands not to help but to receive it
How can we borrow so much and never return it?
Secondary actions never concerned with
How can we ask even when it's so empty?

In her eyes displayed a woman once happy, once. Her smile use to be the comfort we all yearn for when we're young. A voice of happiness collapsed by the cold hard world we all were brought in to live. But I ponder, what happened to this woman? Is this a world we were all meant to live in? Equality, a word used but never meant. Equality made this woman lose her mind. She didn't misplace it, overtime she took a gamble on life and can you guess what the end result was? Life took her hard work and effort just to throw it back at her. She's been swinging a sword against an impenetrable shield for years. Are you not entertained? Neither is she, fed up with life's punch line her life is the joke. No where to run and all the floors are wet. She's the janitor of her own life but can't ever clean up. The one thing to power such a woman is her selflessness toward everyone in the future. She's already submitted to life in so many aspects are continue for everyone who counts on her. Spending life in poverty, through hard work she prospers but to just barely get by? Understand this life was for all to enjoy but how come we fight for a tablespoon of what we all want to do, live a little.

Yes you reading this, You're awesome never stop being yourself!

Jorge-