Round and round here goes nothing
I sent myself on a journey for something
They say kick your legs and paddle your arms
I thought this would be easier
I feel like I've been drowning for years
In the vast space that is my mind
Thoughts fill my lungs like fluid
But why do I keep opening my mouth?
Now I pay the price, my thoughts submerge me
I reach for help, with a snap, they desert me
I think too much, and the flood gates are open
But my thoughts remained kept to myself
Unable to float, I'm sinking again

They call me a fiend all I do is dream in the dark
Looking around, nothing to see..where do I start?
A path is it's darkest without a sense of direction
Even more so without proper affection
Life ain't about the golden arches so you don't gotta love it
One day you'll walk in the planes high in the sky above it
Inside and out in me there's nothing to see
Penetrate my soul with a feeling of glee
Could it be, too far in the dark for we to see
Pardon me, but could this be my dark fantasy
No wait, too much on my plate, it's time to share my leftovers
We're in this mess till it's far from over, push over
Make some room, we might as well be good as dead
But with you by my side clarity is the light inside my head

Our generation keeps saying live free or die young
before their living has even begun
It's hard to understand if I'm doing either at the moment
Seems like every moment I seize tends to freeze now I own it
My life's like muhammad ali with no feet
Just floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee when I speak
Consider what you just heard to be an intro
To me coming as a poet with new flow

I spread my wings not to just fly away.
But fly so high I just might stay.
Out of touch, out of reach, or just taking a day for myself.
Sometimes it's nice to just get way from everybody else.

It's no surprise or mystery
I've checked you out, like a book...about history

Those eyes, they repeat themselves
Just like stocking books on the shelves

That look I've seen it before
Like a late night knock as if my window were a door

That smile though was nothing I've seen before
Like a drug, I had to have more

Feeding your brain to produce a smile
Half the time it was quite the trial but no error

I wanted nothing more than to see you happy
But even more to just have you look at me

I've held my hand out to you too many times before
That smile repeating itself like everything I've seen
No more...

Could I just be a cancer? Just waiting to strike
Taking the ones down with me that would have been Better off
I've not leeched but corrupted them
A process charm and wit can fix but does the opposite
I want your happiness, bottled up
For me to drink out of your decision cup
It's too easy stay far but near
Better off to not see me here...ever?

I see you're riding with the ghost
Not even around to say hello
Yet I believe in you what I can't see
Am I a fool or an optimist?

it's been awhile since I could remember how to love
Let alone be loved, I'm not sure
What I was doing before
All I remember are the times I've wasted beating around the bush
It was an immense bush I remember going in circles for a while
A numerous amount of times
I even got lost, around a circle go figure
But that's just it I lost my way and you helped me bring what I once knew
Back to life, and made it our reality
I've said the "L" word many a time
I'm positive most of you have too
But how many of those little "L" words did you mean?
Strange, and not fun to think about
Sometimes it just doesn't work out
You want it to, who doesn't?
I've never had a love so strong I couldn't wait to wake up
Next to you, half asleep
Rubbing your eyes hoping to see me better
It's the little things that have made me fall in love with you
And those very things that I've always wanted in and from anyone

I've felt your pain and I've heard your story
All I can say is I love you and I'm sorry
I wish sometimes I could be there instead
I had to leave because I only visited
You're my favorite don't you ever forget
I only wish I could fathom what goes on in your head
You can always trust me I promise I'll never let you drift away
If I come to see you it's going to be hard not to stay
If this isn't a sign that I care I don't know what is
If it means nothing that's fine I'll mind my own biz
I can't stand to see my best friend so lost and full of distrust
The weight should be shared because for you I can feel is too much
You caught me at a bad time but that doesn't matter though
Just know if you call I will always pick up
I just wish sometimes I had better luck
Never go and think I never give a ****
When it comes to you and any other best friends
I will seek my word I give to you all till the end

Take my heart I'll take your pain
shall you remain in this mundane
Our love moving on a separate axis
Tilt the poles in our favor
For love to once again be savored

Dejavuu, it's a sign
When you have it your eyes go blind and you enter a premonition in your mind
You live the moment, memory, foresight
In awe you don't say a word
What do you think?
Are you headed in the right direction?
Is that what this means?
Is it a warning in disguise?
Or a bitter sweet surprise...

Living life in flashbacks with memories on repeat of the times that we could have had just you and me you say that you miss me and want to be closer but anytime I ask you never come over that's okay another day I said and it's been the same forever inside my head

Vanity

Take your pick, you know you slick but what would you do to get it?

Trust

Have you had enough? Do you give  a ****? or is it just my luck?

Promises

What are they to you? Just one or two? You're on the run for breaking them all.

When I look at you my hearts turns to air
Compress my chest while I play with your hair
Let those eyes be your voice and my hands will lead the way
Will you play this game of charades through the night?
Oxygen lacking I need to hold you tight
Swapping tongues to fill each others lungs
A sensual dance where we can never be wrong
Background noises from ourselves create a song
Compassion and love with a hint of sin
Intertwining hands, limbs and more
Pretending our hearts were aching and this is our chance
Mend it like no other you know the dance
Shuffling feet mesmeric trance
As if we already knew where to go

Disconnect the clouds and in comes new life above the world living in abstract swirls of shape shifting paradise where everything is imagination guessing what the next cloud looks like silhouettes better yet a pillow of fluffy innocent air but do you dare to live above the rest?

Strong on my feet call me kàka
Swift with this pen I'm coming at ya
With these rhymes and with my soul duh
Real words who need em got some world play like a rapper
Make it rain the truth on y'all call me the rapture

I'm the perfect vessel to fill with your lies
I'd believe anything looking into those eyes..
Fool me so hard I believe my truth is false
But you can take my hand and make it all go away
Just hold me close and say you will stay
When life gets hard and bridges are burned
Where will you run?

She knew I wasn't there to make a friend
She knew what I wanted from start to end
The look in my eyes, the language from my body
She knew I was looking for another girl who was naughty
I had the steps to get what I wanted
She wasn't digging what I flaunted
I had a system all set up, practically cash
She threw a curve ball, system crash
What she wanted she didn't play around this
She skipped my steps and went straight for that kiss
It's what I wanted this whole time
Valentines Day will you be mine?

Goodbye to rules hello society
Where freedom seems free but isn't at all
You take the time to create perfection
Just to corrupt the manifestation
Good luck

I couldn't wipe  the stain of her kiss from my lips
My breath was stolen with each embrace
Each mistake I felt no remorse
I only felt closer to wear I belonged
I shut doors behind me, I can never go back
I'm no longer in control, I've lost the keys
But the key was to keep you away from me
There always was a reason why we were never meant to be left alone
Each and every night I'm looking for a new home

Days like this ill look in the mirror to see if I'm alive
Days gone by I manage to survive
The words of a contemptuous society
Watch them cause erosion to our souls
Making other people mad today can be someone's goal?
In a world where we breed victims and encourage making others feel less inside
Have you looked in the mirror to see if you're alive?

You've reached the botton of the barrel now just scraping for luck
Walking around hoping for someone to give a....****..
Digging for smiles but all the wrong ones
Hiding the sorrows from the world you've created
Why hide and keep living life so jaded?
Too easy to fall into a cliche but serious despair
I tried to tell you from the jump, I can and will always be there

It's never easy;it
It, like learning how to walk again;time
Take some, but sparingly, hurry up
A cut above the rest, we have to be
Super human, against our will be we will be
Step by step, won't ever turn back
Fortitude of a train we're always on track

                                        SOLDIERS!

I lost my appetite and sight of my goals
Even my sanity along the way but nobody knows
These sleepless nights into tomorrow regret
This feeling doesn't come and go I'll make you a bet
Deep inside you'll find a curse
Shaped like a heart disguised as a hurse
I already thought I was a goner till my heart started beating again that's when I saw her blood racing with a story to tell
Nothing could stop me now I'm my way to hell

I'm just trying to fit in so I don't fall off
No one to catch me only to toss me around
It's feels good for a bit, till it turns into spite
Sorry and sadness all inside with a smile to sit upon my face
My thoughts race not to finish but to collect themselves
Taking turns and burning out
These thoughts I've been having need to take a different route
So why fit in anymore?
Don't fit in just fit
The world is our puzzle we're just trying to fill it

Would you fall into the sky with me?
Could this life really be that easy?
You saved my life
I never asked for a thank you or wanted one
I just wanted you is that so much to ask
I love you like no one else
The tension rises the feelings clash
This game you play is sick and I'm tired of it
It's amazing what can happen over time
Over thinking, not quite  the words
Coy is what I use to be
This game is done between you and me

Rough day, time to go home
To a place I like to call home
I like to call it home
Nice quiet place in the suburbs
Not much to it, but it works
few chairs, a couch in the living room
enough room for living I must say
the bedroom, the bedroom
Where I like to lay my hat
Where I like to call it a day
Where I like to start my night
I see you, and my heart races, still
I see you at the end of the day like a prize
I see your smile worth a million bucks in my eyes
where we can talk and lose track of time
Where I can come home and make you mine
We talk, we laugh, we fight, make up
We sleep, make love, wake up
To see you when I wake up is a test
I want to pass so I try harder than my best

I'm mislead to where I want to be
Why are you so afraid to accept me?
You fear the future and I hate the past
I can't catch a break if you keep telling me it will never last
I wait and wait on your prolonged replies
I run my hand...down your face, was this fate?
Time of death 9:58...

Hole in my heart
Not broken
Just falling apart

Every day I'm ripped to shreds
By the sound of the thoughts in my head

I don't tend to stress
I said tend, so please double check
To make sure my heart hasn't been ripped out of my chest

Some nights I'm a mess and I get to be
If you don't know where my head is check the directory
It's still there if my memory
Serves as good as my empathy
Generally, I don't talk about myself or my feelings
Most nights I spend in my head silently healing
Don't feel like any other soul is out there dealing
With the same issues I'm going through

Could this be true?
No one else in the world feels the ways you do?

That's silly let's get back to reality
To tell you why my hearts falling apart
This is the part
That comes straight from my heart
Here I'll start

To whom this may concern, check up on me and leave your comfort zone
There is someone out there that feels alone
that could benefit from you just hearing them out
A minute of your day might not **** you, but it might **** them
All this mayhem and disorder that's up in our minds
Are hard things to keep track of at times
So please be kind and rewind so we can come home

Back from those thoughts that held us for ransom
Times where we want to throw a tantrum
Sometimes we can't, then we phantom

I mean ghost, away from everything that makes us whole
Just to feel like we have even a little control
Of what goes on around us all the time
It's not possible so please give it a rest
Just say hi, or what's up every now and then
to try your best
Someone will appreciate you, should you put it to the test

As I read the words which turn to blurs I wonder
Why is it I'm up at night when I should slumber
Why can I hear the conversations in the rain
Each drop revealing everything even the mundane
Hiding what's behind the scenes it seems serene more like a dream but I scream
What is this reality that makes me lose my balance like no gravity
This weight unbearable barely 1 rep
But no pain no gain is that how it goes?
But we as humans never present our true feelings silly really
How a couple of words can save an eternity

Short of a few letters but is the word; A
Canada came at us with that frenchy eh?
Looking around for the better days
No life of social but I'm getting paid
Joe dirt I'm on my David *****
It's funny but it's true give me the time of day
NB come at me I'm the best NA

This isn't my eviction notice because I've paid the rent
I'm finally back from all the time I've spent
Wishing I would and and thinking I'd never write again
This is my official statement
Reading: "I'll never put down the pen."
That being said I'm here to write my wrongs and everything along the way
This isn't anything fancy, but starting today
Here is my proof that I mean what I say

A house in the woods how quaint I ponder
Whose woods these are I yearn to wander
Away from the world of outside distraction
Opening a the door to my new found attraction
Writing poems to pass the time
Finding the scheme to continue the rhyme
A man with a dream that's hard to find
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
I'm writing all day and all night instead
Of sleeping in a so called bed
Where ever I lay my hat is my home
A hat on my head in which I roam
I'm glad I could get you to read this poem

Things that never happened
Will always be the worse in my book
From the chances never taken
But the ones I should have took
I looked at you and you didn't look back
We started talking but I lost track
Invited you over you have an excuse
I might be holding your hand, but I'm holding it loose
There was a time I'd look at this life like a noose  
Ready to hang it all up just to call it quits
To stay strong I need you to need me
It's the one thing a blind man or woman could see
This whole time you've been like sand in my hand
The harder I try to hold you the more you slip away

It's all fun and games till someone gets hurt
That explains this distance between you and I
My eyes could never leave your side
But besides that I was all yours
Enamured like a high school love
Make me sick to the core to know you're a..twisted person with selfish intentions
Intervention I thought we knew what it meant to be happy and I couldn't see a future without you
Now you're something I need to fix, a loose *****

The feeling, I couldn't explain
It's like I've been with you all these years
Like I've been going through the motions despite my fears
Of being alone, you make me feel ok, ok right at home

All I wanna do is look up at the clouds
Let the days float by with a chance of rain
If I could have you on this rainy day
We could wash away our problems all our pain
Just look up at the clouds and start a new
A new we knew could come true

We are all living to die
Regret and remorse mean nothing when you're gone
We are all dying to live
On the edge, till our last breath
Live fast die young right?
We are all living to die
Do what we want now and think about it later
We are all dying to live
Later came but we didn't make it