Misunderstood love comes common now a days
To begin to know or figure it out would be insane
Luckily lovers share the same brain
Waves merging to create  an illustrious codependent maze

Change
good or bad
Wish I had the time to
Change

What's done is done
It's time to move on
and change

The way I see the way I do the way I
Change
My perspective my life and my friends
I can't change them but I can change myself

Change

I'm on a path to self destruction oh well at least I know where I'm going
My futures clear not bright but I can see it
Would you spend your whole life confused or take the sure thing?

It's hard to stay relevant
That's why I'm running low on friends
I leave myself open for them
But really I do it for me
So I can tell myself I matter
But does it really?
Like a jar you need someone else to open
It's always easier the second time around
When you loosen your grip like the cap of the jar
It's easier to see who your friends are
Take it easy you can't be liked by all
"A friend to all is a friend to no one."
Makes sense, you can't be everyone's friend
You have to pick and choose
In the game of life it's win or lose

In the realm of endless possibilities, I stand,
Yearning for a life of purpose, hand in hand,
No longer content with mere distractions,
I seek a path that ignites my passions.

I cast aside doubts, fears, and hesitation,
Determined to turn dreams into realization,
No jest or jesters in this sacred quest,
I set sail on this voyage, giving it my best.

With unwavering resolve, I take the lead,
A captain of my destiny, fueled by a fiery creed,
Aboard this vessel, I embrace the unknown,
Charting a course to a destiny yet unshown.

Through turbulent tides and stormy seas,
I navigate with courage, the wind as my keys,
The sails unfurled, catching hope's sweet gale,
As I steer towards horizons where dreams prevail.

In the voyage of life, I find my devotion,
In the pursuit of purpose, a newfound potion,
I leave behind the shores of complacency,
Embracing a future filled with audacity.

So, let the waves crash and the currents sway,
I'm determined to make it through, come what may,
For within me burns a passion, fierce and true,
A catalyst for change, a force that will breakthrough.

No more wandering lost, seeking a new start,
I've found my calling, deep within my heart,
With every beat, it whispers a hopeful plea,
"Embrace this journey, and set yourself free."

So, onward I sail, a soul reborn,
With dreams as my compass, fears torn,
For I've chosen to live, to take control,
To write a story of triumph, forever unscroll.

In the rain I still feel the tears
Running from my darkest fears
No matter how wet I get in the rain
I still feel this harkening pain
Like I've finally reached my end of the road
And never had a chance to get that old
Covet those who feel so pure
Head in the clouds looking for the cure

Every day I live with heartache
Anytime of think I my mistake
Only one but that's all it takes
Can't have my cake and eat it too
When I said goodbye I'm done with you
I regret those words my wounds stay fresh and new
I'm a joker wild card a 20 waiting to bust
Ace up my sleeve just not enough
The flame I ignited in your eyes it started to fade away  
Dormant your love as the walls go up
I'm sorry those words just never enough

"I don't know what I want to do with my life or for the rest of it." Ever catch yourself just thinking about the future and always missing the present ? I hate having to worry about so much, I kind of wish I was born in a Different time you know? Unfortunately that is not possible as of now, you have to deal with what comes your way and face it head on. You won't always like what you come across and that is okay. But what you will always remember about where you are or how you got there, regardless of if you like it or not, things can always change and get better. But to have this happen you have to acknowledge the fact that change won't always happen on its own. You are the change, people can change, anyone and anything can change. I guess what i want to get out to the world or even a small part of some place no one has even heard of is that your life is precious no matter what you think of it. Someone cares about you, "There is love burning to find you.." people in general care enough to help you out through hard times and bad. Don't ever think for a second you are alone for there will be always that one person who will always be there. It might not always be a lover but a friend, it may not always be a friend it can be an acquaintance, it might not always be an acquaintance but a stranger. No one is alone in this world, your future can be bright even if the sun isn't shining. Take things life and your time as carefully as possible never let the present pass you by as we are always heading to the future and can often miss what we hear and don't see. More than what we learn is on the outside of school, life itself is our teacher and our reason to have and share it with more people. I want to let you all inside my head to show you what my life has been like, its nothing out of the ordinary but very different from most. What I mean by that is I am sure each of us have had our fair share of hardships and bad days of course we all have. I just feel like I have set myself up more for it than most people have, I feel as though that is but I could be wrong. I decided to write this  not for just myself, but for other people who may feel the same way about life as i do. Many things in life will test every fiber of your being and you have to be strong enough to endure it. I think it's the little challenges that are the hardest part because all the little things add up to be bigger things so its better to watch out for them and take them head on one by one no matter how long it takes. I want to quote another artist here before you make the plunge into my mind. If I still have anyone's interest and it just impacted the way I view life really hard without this person even knowing they did. “ What ever you end up with in life is what you wanted to be.” Please take the time to hear me out maybe I can help you understand things a lot better than you do now, maybe I can make you laugh, who knows enjoy the writings I wrote out just for you in my poems.

In this place we roam I've become a lost soul
A place where familiarity and routine has a strong hold
Everyone is to do what their told
Until you've made enough money to grow old...

Your Words* use to mean something to me
They use to mean everything to me
Now they are nothing more than a slap to the face.
A constant reminder if you will
As to why we will never be the same
Best friends turn to best foes
Why we aren't together nobody knows
All you do is talk about things you want to do with me
At the end of the day just words I see
No actions or attempts to see each other
Not my fault neither yours
Actually I blame myself for letting you in
I could have kept going and let you do yourself...
NO I couldn't just sit back and do nothing
My love for you had nothing to do with it
I wanted to help so you could keep going
I remember when it was I saved you, it was snowing
So cold, so late, your life, our fate
I thought ahead, you thought for the now
and now I see where we stand, where I stood
and to think I thought I could..
I couldn't save us only you


*No Regrets

So this is what it feels like to be on top of the world
Wrappe in wisdom able to see all
But not able to see yourself?
How can you see the ends if all there is are beginnings?

I felt your scars and we became friends
We looked into each others eyes and said we will meet again
In a drunken state we wanted nothing more
Than to be what was always meant to happen
No kissing, let's just share a smoke
A couple more drinks and a of course a few jokes
I'm sorry I made you dance, but you did the same to me
My heart on it's metaphorical tip toes
I've never known of a friendship that was so smooth
But we knew what to expect that's how it goes
When it's  a friendship to be
We set the example for all to see

Nothing feels good anymore
Worn for what it's worth
Worthless wilting wondering
Wasted...

If only it was as easy as "oh, you're the one!"
I swear I saw it in your eyes
Fate wore a disguise
Until I recognized
It was
*You

Banging on ya faces
Gone to different places
Recognize where I'm from we go our own spaces
Talk big walk small
No matter what we got it all
On lock no combo
Dance the night away, Mambo
Late night deep thoughts with you, Convo
Looking real good I can't help but notice
But girl you look good and I want you to know this
I ain't playing around I'm up to no good
Why don't you come back and start some trouble in my neighborhood
We got into one little fight and you got scared
You said you thought I would leave you and I didn't even care
Girl you got me pegged all wrong Imma tell you straight up
I love you no matter what
and I could easily give it all up

Ever looked at the sky?
And wonder why?
Up so high
Beyond sight of the human eye

Just why is the sky?
Why can't I drink from your beauty
And share your nectar of elegance with the world

This world needs a mother natures touch
Oh sky I don't ask for much
Show me the ways of the soft blue sky
Make me wonder, wonder why

When you touch me with your love I become a poet
Nearly love struck, left in a dazed and confused state
I fell in love with you and you already knew it
Take me away
Away from reality
The grim and dark parts
I liked you better in my head
Covet turns to sin, time elapsed
I watched you change
Is it you I'm searching for?

My victory was all but small
It was different with you I wanted it all
We gave each other a shot in the dark
But in the daylight was where I was lost

I couldn't see, the outcome of what we've done
Of my words, and oblivious actions, who would have thought
Not me, trouble came knocking, winded and distraught
Not on my end, I couldn't hear it

I took what's meant for only us to know
And put it out there like a public tv show
For all to see and all to hear
I'm most sorry, can you see this?

My victory so small, boasted, not sure why
On my brain thinking, thinking, wait did I...
I did, it slipped out one too many
I only hope for my thoughts to be worth more than a penny

Right in the middle, the center of attention
I couldn't settle for anything less
In harms way is where I feel safest
I have control over everything
I know I'm going to get hurt
I know what to expect
Nothing you can do to stop me
I couldn't even stop myself
If I stray to far
Will you come look for me?
Would you risk it all to find me?
Am I worth the trouble I cause?
Mentally unstable, physically unable
Would you stand and rise against the eye of the storm?

Is it the sight or is it the sound that brings the people we call the crowd
The music and the freedom you feel being around
All your friends and family in one spot
To share your love of things you like a lot
No matter the time day or night
When those fireworks go off it'll be alright

Rain on his finger tips would  imbue a life of prosperity beyond the reach of every drop

Every time I put in more work I get less in return
Somehow I don't think this is a lesson I need to learn
Growing up has never felt like this but where do I begin?
I'm at a point where I ask myself why do I need friends if all beginnings have endings?
Could it be that these friends or myself are transcending  
Past the point of them spending
Anytime with me anymore, how do you know a friendship is ending
It feels more like a facebook friend request, I'm just pending..
I don't blame others for anything they don't want to do
It's just been a while since I've had a friend to talk to
When I reach out it feels like I'm asking for a handout
and everyone's got their hands full
Not one to call bull, but I need to pull
Myself from this hole in my heart that tends to make me miserable
Sometimes I ask myself why or what did I do to be like this
But the truth is I'm more than fine just confused by it
It being this constant narrative where it's me versus me
There seems to be no one around my immediate 360
I use all my strength each day to work the hardest, safest, and most efficient as I can be.
I'm not saying no one is but who is there to reciprocate that energy?
For those times I need to look up and someone needs to be my guide
For the times I want to run and go hide
I don't want to do this that or even the other
Sometimes I felt like I never had a Mother.
Mine loves me to death, she is the greatest and got me this far
Sometimes I ask why because even she doesn't have the answers I need and when times get this hard
I try not to dwell but I also dwell
Rare times where I trap my thoughts inside of this negativity cell
All boxed up filled with explosive emotions
On a good day enough to part seas and oceans
All I need is a checkup, not one from any doctor
Perhaps the ones that put it all on the table
that don't proclaim it's their final offer

We were taught but how come we never leaned?
Right from wrong, both the same?
Under special circumstances?

I use to know this girl she was a trick
Illusion turn down my determination its a *****
For when I thought id kiss your lips
Now I'm the one that feels like ****

I'll watch you wither into dust
Nothing left, down to the bone
Guess I must have misplaced my trust
No in you but on you, I believe what I see
Looks like I walking this one alone
Move along nothing to see
No more of you left, erased from my past
Things happen for a reason yet seem to constantly happen to me

It's just better with more than one
All alone, nights spent, it isn't fun
The character brought out by the crowd
Hidden inside yourself unable to emerge
From time to time, that character slowly fades away
A part of you, the better you, the you that you want to be
Can't find a window to look through, better grab the windex
Because at this point a nice clear view is more than needed
Direction much advised
Friends are forever, don't let the inner you die.

We kept evolving, but you digressed
Starting to forget about that thing in your chest
Beating so you can move on
But you are frivolous, without fingerprints
Would anyone even know you were here anymore?
A wraith with intent on subsisting ears and eyes shut
Conversing with yourself to make believe you are still relevant
While your posture is that of a "the fading"
I can't help and keep on debating
I extended my help and time for you, but always too cool
It's like you're stuck in senior year of high school
I'll always miss you I'm never ashamed
Why'd you have to go and change your name

This could all be yours
Security and the wealth
Sell your soul to me let me make you
A creation and a product of hype
To your dismay an image in the mirror
You look and somebody else is there
Different eyes same clothes new hair
What is the worth of your life
I can push fast forward but there is no stop
Not until you're even higher than tr top
Tell me what you want tell me what you need
Your needs met, wants covered in smoke a dissolution, you're unable to breathe
This can all be yours but who are you after this?

Splashes of color, abstract, chaotic and bright,
Vivid expressions of thoughts in the night.
The words in my mind, they dance and they sway,
But like fleeting graffiti, they soon fade away.

The cans of my thoughts, they rattle and hiss,
A cacophony of dreams, sometimes hit or miss.
A fresh coat appears as I overthink,
A canvas of chaos, my thoughts interlink.

I'd see a shrink, but in a blink, I'm unsure,
On the brink of my mind, the thoughts obscure.
Lost in this sequence, I yearn for a guide,
For guidance and purpose to stem the tide.

Ambition, it flickers, like a candle's soft glow,
But in seeking the light, in its warmth, I'll grow.
To paint my own story, with colors bold and bright,
I'll find the path forward, through the canvas of night.

Who is the real you?
trying to figure that out now huh?
Little late on that one

In the light is when your existence came into my 3rd dimension
A starlight gleaming through a prism of perfect
Blinded by my own fear of all that is beautiful
Not the way you do you hair
Or the way you walk
It's the way you are and how you talk
Conversations moving like the hands on a clock
I lose track of myself
All because
I....

Sent to a world full of sorrow
Descending into arms the same
The yearning for a touch
Even if it hurts it's still wanted
A double ended sword sharpened
Ready to cut the non sense

Have you seen my sanity?
While my head is spinning
Can it be
I see
The things nobody else can?

The leaves move out of
My way as if to tell me
Winter is coming

when you love for real it's so different than the idea of itself
It's not this huge burst of passion all at once anymore
It's an everlasting, lingering, a smell you recognize on the other persons clothes  type of feeling

I stared at the empty seat, nothing to hide
I feel so **** lonely without someone here by my side
My eyes become watered, but not filled with tears
A drop of sorrow mustered, but not shed
Time spent thinking rather than doing, wasted
What I want I can't have but we all covet that the most
A sick twist of fate or a game we all play
We all have to learn how to stand and walk on two feet
Better start crawling

Never sell yourself short before you grow
The world is upset but it'll get better though
They told me to dive right in, I only dipped my toe
Where you end up on this wild ride you may never know
You gotta brace yourself  for no matter what it brings
Just know out there are some better things

Happy Fathers day to those that celebrate
I've been preserving the day I'll one day
Demonstrate as a Father in cellophane
To keep it fresh
No dad around so my Mom gets a double check
year round for being everything I never had

In my heart deep down it hurts
I'm about to go berserk
I put in the time and work
Now give me what I deserve
Half a million people read my words but have nothing to say?
But I put blood sweat and emotion on every page..
When everyone keeps so quiet about my "hustle" it doesn't fill me with rage
Just wondering if you're reading along with me on the same page
I don't ask for much just to lend me your eyes, and say "oh who's this guy?"
Keeping you curious but I'm out here getting furious or rather delirious
Hoping one day all of you might take me a little serious

Do you see yourself in a picture with me?
Picture perfect, happy as can be...
No shred of sadness, yet always in dismay
Like a bright star in the sky, the apple of our eyes
Having what others yearn to one day grasp
But first, can we take a picture?

Am I a friend, or someone you run to when you want to play pretend?
Am I a friend you treat like a doormat for your muddy boots to wipe so you can keep a clearer conscience to sleep at night?
I've cleaned up your act and that's a fact and since I moved on cant say I want you back
To all those no longer around it's been lit
You burned your bridges
Now there ain't no crossing it

Blue skies turn blue eyes to blue lies to disguise