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Aug 2017 · 434
balance
Tiffany Aug 2017
love is balance
push and pull
give and take
like a scale
it cannot exist
when one side
outweighs the other
Aug 2017 · 361
Insomniac
Tiffany Aug 2017
Close my eyes
Lay still like the dead
Stare into the darkness
Thoughts running through my head

Close my eyes
Feel anxiety closing in
Lose myself online
Escape my mental sin

Close my eyes
Wait for sleep to come
Realize it's hopeless
Wait to see the sun
Aug 2017 · 307
what she doesn't know
Tiffany Aug 2017
she speaks of how
he saved her
but little does she know
that while he lifted
her head above water
she saved him
from drowning too
Aug 2017 · 294
louder than words
Tiffany Aug 2017
the silence
between them
was deafening
        - *what words could never say
Aug 2017 · 524
in their eyes
Tiffany Aug 2017
there's magic in the moonlight
like the magic in her eyes
it bathes the world in silver light
casting shadows as passions arise

there's heat in the night
like the fire in his eyes
it burns and rages between them
cries rising like smoke to the skies

there's chaos in the darkness
like the chaos in their eyes
it envelops their logical minds
their bodies slave to the prize

there's peace in the shadows
like the peace that enters their eyes
it settles in the bones and souls
with whispers that bring forth the sunrise
Aug 2017 · 300
Untitled
Tiffany Aug 2017
beauty once vivid and bright
will soon begin to fade
it withers, crumbles, and dries
it loses its brilliant shade
             - *the toll of time
Aug 2017 · 310
beliefs
Tiffany Aug 2017
it wasn’t until
i met you
that i believed
in something more
for how could there be
anything less
when someone
like you exists?

there must be something
in the works
beyond the laws
we’ve come to know
like past lives,
the afterlife,
a force beyond
our comprehension

of all these questions
there’s one thing
i know
to be true
a single lifetime
on this earth
is not enough
with you
Aug 2017 · 203
falling in love
Tiffany Aug 2017
it didn't happen suddenly,
but i realized it all at once.
         - *falling in love
Aug 2017 · 199
haiku
Tiffany Aug 2017
what lucky star did
i wish upon to deserve
a lover like you
Aug 2017 · 203
action
Tiffany Aug 2017
they say
if you love something
set it free
and if it comes back
it’s meant to be
and though this may
be true
we didn’t rely
on faith alone
to make our dreams
a reality
Aug 2017 · 209
hunger
Tiffany Aug 2017
there’s a hunger
in the soul
that aches
for something
more
than what we are
      - *soul mates
Aug 2017 · 178
your name
Tiffany Aug 2017
your name echoes
through the caverns
of my mind
the vibrations bringing
light to my darkest
parts creating a
symphony of color
and sound that
has given me
a new
appreciation
for the simple things
in life
Aug 2017 · 251
no longer
Tiffany Aug 2017
i won't allow you this
power over me to twist
my mind to believe
i was in the wrong

when you were the
one to treat me
like a play toy
picking me up when
it was fun
throwing me away when
it stopped

i am a woman
not a trinket
for your amusement
and i refuse to
stand by while the cycle
repeats.
Aug 2017 · 255
realization
Tiffany Aug 2017
by learning to love you
i learned to love myself

for in your eyes
i could see reflected
everything i am
that makes up my being
that you came to love

and while i fell for you
i fell for myself too
Aug 2017 · 197
complete
Tiffany Aug 2017
i had convinced myself
i couldn't live without you
that i was incomplete

it wasn't until you left
that i realized
you were a puzzle piece
i never needed
Aug 2017 · 159
Untitled
Tiffany Aug 2017
you were taught your body
was a tool
so when they came to use it
you laid it down
your mind be ******
and allowed them to abuse it
Aug 2017 · 174
call to worship
Tiffany Aug 2017
he calls me goddess
prayers dripping from his lips like sweet nectar
as he sinks between my legs
and shows me how he worships
Aug 2017 · 145
growth
Tiffany Aug 2017
i think it's both funny and sad
you assumed i'd come running back
the way you manipulate the truth
expecting my will to bend to yours
like a tree bowing to the winds of a mighty hurricane
i learned what it's like to find a love
that flows steady and strong like the river
and now i can look back
at the girl who used to be
and know the woman today
is too strong to fall back
into arms so much like the rose
- beautiful and tempting to the eyes,
but concealing rows of thorns
that stab into the mind body and soul
Aug 2017 · 151
70 days
Tiffany Aug 2017
i count down the days
until your embrace
the days pass s l o w l y
like the leaves that fall
...drifting...
gently,
nonchalantly
downward
announcing autumns arrival
Aug 2017 · 169
silence
Tiffany Aug 2017
there is no shame
in asking for help*
but the obligation instilled
by a society that dismisses
mental health
forces me to remain silent
Aug 2017 · 150
Exhaustion
Tiffany Aug 2017
I am tired.

I am tired of not being able to trust my own mind.

Anxiety ravaging my psyche, building walls I worked so hard to tear down.
Depression developing like cancer in my soul, blotting out the love and joy from life like thunder clouds suppressing the sun.

I am tired of my body working against me.

Fatigue forcing me to stand back as I watch life race ahead. Migraines that keep me locked in the darkness like a long forgotten memory.

I am tired of the necessity for a never ending list of drugs.

The harsh light of the doctors office as we discuss our options. Adding pill after pill to keep my mind and body above water.

But mostly, over everything else, I am tired of being tired.
Tiffany Aug 2017
If seeing his face still makes your heart skip a beat, no matter when or where you are...

If you get lost in her eyes and realize there's no where else you'd rather be...

If the sound of his voice relaxes and excites you at the same time, and you realize you could listen to him speak until the day comes when the sun no longer shines...

If the sound of her name brings a smile to your lips, and you know there's no sweeter combination of syllables on this earth...

If you find he's the first thing on your mind when you wake up...

If she's the last thing you think of as you fall asleep...

If he can make you laugh so hard you forget your troubles and just live in the moment for once...

If she can gift you with a sense of wonder and happiness much like the bliss and simplicity of childhood...

If you'd share the last slice of pizza or make a late night munchie run...

If the time comes when you realize there's no coming back from how they've changed you and there's no one else you'd rather spend your life with...

You've undeniably...
irrevocably...
unmistakably...
indubitably...
fallen in love.
Apr 2017 · 534
State of Chaos
Tiffany Apr 2017
We’re living in a time of pandemonium,
living in a land of confusion.
Led down a path of violence and disorder,
forgetting the aspects of being human.

Our world is in a state of chaos
with discrimination, rash actions, violation of rights
Bombing foreign nations
Infringing women’s liberty in the dead of night

We’re losing sight of compassion
With war and destruction looming overhead
Fear and distrust running rampant
Hope for humanity seemingly left for dead

Denying sexuality and personal identity
And riots around the clock
Then with shootings becoming a norm
It’s difficult dealing with the shock

Though times are unclear in this our current hour
One thing is certain
If we don’t change our ways, the story of mankind
Will come to an end with the drop of a curtain.
Apr 2017 · 812
Simpler
Tiffany Apr 2017
I miss when life was simpler
When Death was just a thought
but the  innocence of childhood is a jewel which can't be bought.

Those memories too often come flooding back
A reminder of what once was and what I've come to lack
I miss when life was simpler and wish for the days
When Death was just a musing
And time was void of that desolate haze

I miss when life was simpler and long for the days of self assurance
For when Death becomes reality
Such qualities rarely stand with endurance.

Death is part of life, but I wish that it was simpler.
Apr 2016 · 422
From the Ashes
Tiffany Apr 2016
Your burned me from the inside out,
now all that's left are ashes.

I felt the fire of desire,
but never did I question.
Just how these flames would leave me scorched
and desperate for salvation.

I was too young to comprehend
how high the flames would grow,
and over time I was
engulfed by your inferno.

I can't remember life inside the fire,
but I have the scars upon my skin,
as proof I've been to Hell and back,
as proof of our sin.

Despite these brands that mark me,
despite your haunting warmth that remains,
I'll find my way back to reality.
I'll find a way to live again.

You burned me from the inside out,
but I will rise from the ashes.
Sep 2015 · 362
Friends Forever?
Tiffany Sep 2015
You said you'd be there,
But where are you?
What friend could leave?
What friend are you?

I've waited here,
Time after time.
And in return,
Got a stupid line.

"We're sisters forever!"
Or so you said...
But all these years,
It seems I've been misled

I gave you chances,
But now I am through.
You lost who you were,
Now you've lost me too.
Sep 2015 · 393
Your Future Wife
Tiffany Sep 2015
He stole  my love,
    with ****** after ******,
and with every ragged breath
    he ruined my trust.

Long after those nights,
    I sealed myself away,
having learned a man's words,
    never mean what they say.

So when you came to my life,
    with sweet words so smooth,
it's no wonder my heart,
    couldn't realize the truth.

I never knew I could find you,
    when with every thought I would sink,
oblivion lay before me,
    I was perched on the brink.

But like a gentle breeze,
    you swayed my direction,
you healed the damage he wrought,
    with a loveless *******.

I feel human for once,
    and not just a thing, to be
played with when wanted,
    then tossed aside with a swing.

So I thank you, my love,
    for changing my life.
You're my forever and always.
    signed - *your future wife
Jun 2015 · 469
I Remember...
Tiffany Jun 2015
I remember
that night,
when you sent me that first text.

I remember
how you loved my eyes
and I didn’t know what to expect.

I remember
the days that passed,
growing closer all the while.

I remember
all the laughs,
every innocent smile.

I remember
when I said,
I’d never loved before.

I remember
your surprise,
and a promise for what was in store.

I remember
the first time,
I ever saw your face.

I remember
first hearing your voice,
and the way my heart did race.

I remember
her too,
the girl who stole you away.

I remember
falling for you,
and not knowing if you’d stay.

I remember
the late nights,
spent crying and alone.

I remember
when you walked out,
and I was helpless, so alone.

I remember
the hell,
that I came to know as life

I remember
every memory,
that drove me to the knife.

I remember
when you came back,
and shocked me to the core.

I remember
finding,
the bond we had before.

Of course I remember,
for how could I forget?
A single moment of our story,
that isn’t finished yet.
Apr 2015 · 610
Forever & Always
Tiffany Apr 2015
The night settles around me as I make my way down the winding path that leads away from the old iron gates. I let my mind wander as my body carries me forward to the spot I’ve been so many times before. There’s a heavy weight on my shoulders and I bite my lip against the pain that threatens to tear me apart. How many nights have I spent here since you left?

The wind gently ruffles my hair and a faint smile crosses my lips. I breath in the cool air and feel it soothe my thoughts. This isn’t why I’ve come here tonight.

My legs come to a stop and I take in my surroundings. The moon bathes the area in a pale light and the willow trees sway gently in the breeze. There’s a sense of calm that envelops me whenever I come here and I feel it now, wrapping me in a sphere of tranquility. I sink to the ground and lean against the stone the way I have for years now.

The flowers that I left last week are starting to wither, the edges of the once brilliant red petals curling in on themselves. I let my fingers brush against them and rest my cheek against the chilled marble. I remember the first time I came here. My mind was spiraling into insanity. I’d gone running down the path in the darkness, feeling as if I were fighting to stay alive. The tears that blurred my vision had my make up streaking my face like war paint. I’d collapsed in the spot I am now, throwing myself into the dirt and letting the sobs rack my body. I stayed there like that, reveling in the pain and anguish I felt until dawn brought the light and unwanted help. I felt so betrayed when you left.

I squeeze my eyes shut, pushing the painful memory from my thoughts and shake myself. I clear my throat nervously and stare down at my hands.

“Hey baby, it’s me again.” I say quietly into the silence.

“I’ve been keeping myself busy like you wanted, I even got a job.” I giggle and glance up.

“It’s not much of a job, but it’s something. And I…” I take a deep breath and steel myself against the wave of emotion that washes over me.

“I met someone.” There. I said it.

“He’s a really nice guy, baby. He asked if I wanted to go out sometime and I told him I’d think about it. I was going to tell him no, but then I realized something.” I blink away the tears that I can’t hold back any longer and struggle to keep my voice even.

“I realized I want to be remembered by more than just a tombstone.” I choke on my words and dig my nails into the pad of my hand. I try to get a hold over myself and smile weakly. You always hated it when I cried.

“I’ll always love you baby, but I have to move on. And I know you’ve been telling me that for months now… I just wasn’t listening. I miss you so much…” I wipe my tears from my face and swallow the sob that tried to escape my throat.

I climb to my feet and rest a hand on top of the stone that stands in your memory. I know I can’t hold myself here forever… You wouldn’t want me to anyway. I lift my hand to my lips then press a kiss to your grave.

“I love you. Forever and always.” I whisper and turn away. As I begin the walk back through the cemetery I take in all the markers of those who’ve come and gone. How many of them were taken away too soon? Or left on their own?

I reach the gates and cast one look back to where you lay and I see the light shining on your flowers. Only instead of withered and dying, they’re as fresh as they day I left them. I bite my lip and smile, looking down and laughing. I blow one final kiss and walk away with the memories that will last forever and always.
Mar 2015 · 426
Yours & Mine
Tiffany Mar 2015
You're mine
Every essence of your being
Belongs to only me
The way you smile and laugh
The way your eyes burn when you gaze at me
I own the curve of your face
And the sharp edges of your frame
You are mine
Mind, body, and name.
But just as you are mine
I too belong to you
My every thought and moment
Every action that I do
The reason that I laugh,  the reason that I breath
You're the reason that I live
My love, my king
You are my one and only
And my heart is in your hand
I'm yours and you're mine
That's all they need to understand
Mar 2015 · 809
My Guardian Angel
Tiffany Mar 2015
You’ve come back in my life
Like the dawn in the night
Chasing away the shadows
That haunt my broken mind

My life was left in shambles
I was ripping at the seams
But now you’re back again
It’s like I’m in a dream

And if it’s true I’m merely dreaming
I hope to never wake
For to live without you after this
Would be more than I could take

So take me into your arms
And keep me from the pain
Be my guardian angel
Never leave my side again
<3 D.A.R. <3
Feb 2015 · 448
Falling
Tiffany Feb 2015
I'm falling,
spinning.
What do I do?
Oh baby, please baby,
I can't lose you too.
Say you won't leave me,
say you'll stay forever.
I'd prefer you to mean it,
but I'll take what you offer.
Things are changing
so quickly.
And I'm getting left in the dust.
But baby, sweet baby,
I'm giving you my trust.
In this time that I'm weak,
vulnerable,
insecure...
I'm giving you my heart,
because they say love is never unsure.
I know that I love you,
beyond any doubt.
But baby, oh baby,
haven't you figured it out?
My world is a wreck;
I'm too flawed for your perfection,
and I'm scared you only want me,
to get an *******.
I don't know what I'd do,
if that turned out to be true.
You're all I have left,
just me and you.
So promise me baby,
you're here for keeps,
because my broken mind can't handle,
what your absence would reap.
Feb 2015 · 527
Where Is My Knight
Tiffany Feb 2015
I'm trapped in my tower
Begging to be free
Oh, where is my knight
Who'll come rescue me?

I bide my time
By the window in vain
Oh, where is my knight
When will he come again?

I'm trapped in my tower
Of self loathing and doubt
Oh, where is my knight
It's his name I call out

I'm losing my mind
In my tower so high
Oh, where is my knight
I'm tempted to fly

*I was trapped in my tower
But now I am free
I lost my knight
And now he's lost me..
Feb 2015 · 372
Gone
Tiffany Feb 2015
What I saw that night,
changed me forever.
Gone is the little girl,
and happy ever after...

the moonlit path before me,
is like a winding nightmare.
The smell of sweat and fear,
permeate the air.
The forest is silent,
but I know it's out there...
Watching...
Waiting...
I run.
I run until I feel the pounding of my heart
through every inch of my body.
I feel the blood coursing through my veins,
feel it cry out for escape.
I can see it in my mind.
The blood soaked floors,
hear the broken whimpers...
I see his hand reaching out for me
from the darkness and I run faster...


Curled on my side,
I cry out to the past.
I try to forget,
but it's hard to be the last.
Feb 2015 · 678
Too Much, Too Soon
Tiffany Feb 2015
I gave away too much,
too soon.
I gave him all I had to give,
and now I'm empty,
hollow,
void.
I loved him with all my soul,
too much, too soon.
Now he's gone, moved on,
but I remain.
Always the last one standing,
but the pain is ever present.
It's the one thing,
that stays the same,
and I tried to change,
too much, too soon.
Now I hardly know myself,
Who am I
without you?
I can feel myself slipping...
Insanity,
waiting to catch me,
hold me close,
the way you did,
to whisper words so sweet,
that brush against the skin,
like a lovers caress.
Do you remember those words?
because I recall them clearly,
too much, too soon.
They keep flooding back,
and now I can't sleep,
dream,
think,
now I can't be,
without seeing your face.
I tried to stay away,
too much, too late.
Feb 2015 · 387
Only You
Tiffany Feb 2015
Who can save me now?
Darling, I'm falling down
Bring me to the light
Don't leave me in this endless night

I'm reaching through the dark
Calling out with my broken heart
Can't you hear my pleas?
Baby, I'm down on my knees

Don't leave me here alone
I can't take it my own
You can save me from this hell
Only you can break this spell
Dec 2014 · 392
Heal
Tiffany Dec 2014
I wish I could heal
The scars no one else can see
With my poetry
Dec 2014 · 393
Day By Day
Tiffany Dec 2014
The time we spend here
passes in the blink of an eye,
And before you know it
it’s time to say goodbye.

We suffer so much
in our given season,
But the pain we feel
happens for a reason.

So you can learn to appreciate
the good things when they come,
Like the memories of dear friends
or the rays from the rising sun.

I know it’s hard now
and I won’t pretend it’ll be easy,
But we’ll heal and carry on
despite the wounds that’ve cut so deeply.

Goodbye isn’t really goodbye
we’ll meet again someday,
So hold your head a little higher
and just take things day by day.
Dec 2014 · 331
Merry Christmas
Tiffany Dec 2014
I glance around the room
At the faces I "hold most dear"  
The fake laughs and plastic smiles
I see on this day each year

What a special time Christmas is
For the young and the old
It reminds us why we ignore one another
Except on this holiday in the cold

I wish it held more meaning
Than this sickening hallmark cheer
I wish I could be happy
But my emotions are unclear

The lights are faded in my sight
And the decorations mean so little
We're just continuing on a cycle of lies
And I'm here stuck in the middle

But I don't really care anymore
I've  become numb in the end
So I'll wish you a merry Christmas
And continue to pretend
Dec 2014 · 416
In The Moonlight
Tiffany Dec 2014
I’m trapped inside the moonlight
with you laying close to me
I’m not sure of this reality
because it’s made up of my dreams

I’m scared if I close my eyes
you’ll slip and fade away
I can’t believe you’re here with me
what can I do to make you stay

I’m torn inside the moonlight
my heart is a battleground
I shouldn’t be here with you tonight
but I feel so safe and sound

I trace your body with my fingertips
and forever locked in my memories
are the beat of your heart, the warmth of your skin
I’ll remember them for centuries

I embrace you in the moonlight
and ignore the ramifications
The voices that say you’re just a phase
Don’t understand what we have is gravitational

I couldn’t stay away if I wanted
and for you I know it’s the same
I love you and every fiber of your being
your body, your soul, your name
Nov 2014 · 387
Back Again
Tiffany Nov 2014
The pain is coming back again
I don’t know what to do
I feel the walls closing in
I thought these days were through

The tears are flowing fast again
I can’t make it through the day
It hurts just to breath
Please tell me that you’ll stay

I’m on my own again
And I know that I can’t do it
Without someone to lean on
I know that I’ll submit

To these thoughts I have again
That tell me to end it all
Without someone to be there
There’s no doubt that I’ll fall

The pain is stronger than ever
And I know I want to die
And since I’m all alone...
I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try
Nov 2014 · 418
Addiction
Tiffany Nov 2014
I know I shouldn’t take them
But they make me feel alive
These tiny pills in my hand
I need them to survive

Oh wait! I didn’t mean it
I can quit them when I please
Don’t look at me like that!
I can do without these!

Okay so maybe I can’t …
But it’s not that big a deal
I’ll just take them when I need to
I’ve got a will of steel!

So maybe I’m no superman…
What do you want? I’m only human!
Don’t judge me for my choices
My life isn’t in ruin!

At least not yet anyway…
But I know I have to have them!
The consequences be ******!
I’ll go crazy without ‘em

I know you think I’m losing it
But honestly I’ve never felt better…
Now where the hell are those pills?!?
I have to have them more than ever!
Nov 2014 · 406
Where Do I Belong?
Tiffany Nov 2014
I know the place I want to be,
wrapped up in your arms
Where I fit so perfectly
Safe from all worldly harm

At least that’s what I once thought
but the years have taught me different
so many bitter battles fought...
I suppose my love wasn’t sufficient

I know the place I want to be,
forever in your view
where your gaze washes over me
like the sea, refreshing through and through

At least that’s what I once thought
but the dawn has taught me different
It brought the light, and you’ve been caught
revealing your lies, so incoherent

I knew the place I wanted to be
but now I know it’s wrong
you never really loved me...
*Now where do I belong?
Nov 2014 · 471
I'll Carry On
Tiffany Nov 2014
I'm waiting by the phone
For a call that never comes
I'll sit here in the silence
With my broken heart, so numb

It's when you act like it's alright
I know that nothing's fine
You can try to tell your lies
But you were never really mine

Those three little words
Thrown around so much
Have they lost their meaning?
They've lost their euphoric rush

I want to beg, down on my knees
But I will never stoop to that level
I'll keep my pride and carry on
No matter how I may tremble
Oct 2014 · 436
My Only
Tiffany Oct 2014
Death is my only
Escape from this living hell
So long and good bye
Oct 2014 · 318
A Phase
Tiffany Oct 2014
It was just a lie
When you told me forever
I was just a phase
Oct 2014 · 332
How Could You
Tiffany Oct 2014
How could you* cheat me
Of my hopes, dreams, and wishes
For one drunken night
Oct 2014 · 376
Start And Finish
Tiffany Oct 2014
I was his fresh start
After a life of hardships
And he was my end
Oct 2014 · 264
What It's Like
Tiffany Oct 2014
Can you imagine
What it's like to die inside
With no one to know
Oct 2014 · 313
The End
Tiffany Oct 2014
When I told you yes
Whoever could have guessed
It would be the end
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