I've given up on love
And on life
Be very afraid when I turn off the light
And when I sit alone,in the dark at night

I try to hide how I feel
Because everyone gets depressed
When I am being real

I lost the only true man in my life
The guy that showed me
What true love was like

He is my grandpa
He is my knight
He is the reason that I continue to fight

The only man
I will ever please
Because he is the only man
That will ever love me

turn out the light
Her wrath is blinding me
bring on the night
save me from the monster... I used to be

let my true colors shine
put my life on the line
please don't let my mamma see
what her criticism does to me

I have spent all my life
trying to be that perfect angel
my momma raised me to be

but I threw that to the side
became what I wanted to be
but I should have listened to my mommas advice
being grown up is not what it is cracked up to be

Growing up
In a small town
Where everyone knows
Who you are and where you come from

Your childhood friend
Becomes your worst enemy
As you reach-
The middle school years

As you enter high school
You become defined by your "clique"
Not as the individual
You have spent so long
Building yourself up- to be

But once you get out
Into the real world
It only matters
What you think of yourself.

3/4 cup of spiders
2 cups of blood
3 packages of worms (alive of course)
1 cup of toe nails
a dash of nose hair
5 pairs of recycled underwear
1 cup of green beans (un-cooked)
2 piles of dog crap
3 cups of toilet water

Order up

I am stuck
cornered
inside, my hypocritical mind

Answers.

That I cannot seem to find

Why?

must one fall- into darkness
to see light

Deception

Lies

hidden with- in his devilish eyes

Blinded-
Un-aware

of the truth.

Dated for two months
Before we parted ways
I wanted to try something new
But I had no clue- what it would do to you.

You have stuck by me
For the past two years.
And here we are
Together again.
After all this time
I get to call you mine

After many broken hearts
We found our way
Into each others arms again

I don't want to lose you.
And we may be 13 hours apart.
But you will always have
A special place in my heart

One day
We will meet face to face.
And I will get to tell you-
That I love you everyday

I can't wait
Till our wedding day
I will be standing across from you
the moment we say our I do's

I'll be wearing blue
when I walk down the aisle
I can't wait to try something new
because I know what we have is true

I will be standing across from you
the moment we say our I do's

you'll see a sparkle in my eyes
give you a kiss every sunrise

starting on the day I make you mine
till the end of time

Perfection
Jenga
Blockhead
Risk
Twister
30 seconds
Kerplunk
Luck of the Draw

I am on top of the world
There is no way you can break me-
Down
You are never going to see me- Frown

I will be standing-
With my two feet on the ground
I will be the only soldier
Left on the battleground

Sweat and tears,
A little blood-
Never hurt no-one

This time- I'm not afraid
To get a little *****,
To make you look like a fool

Make you choke on the words
As you say them
Because there is no-
Stopping me now

I was looking forward
To be in your arms again
But I guess things don't always go
How they are planned

But I always-look forward
To tomorrow
Because things happen-
Almost Instantaneously

The way you pulled me
Into you arms- that day
You put me in a trance

I can't wait to tell you
How much you mean- to me
When I am in your arms again
I will get the chance

I'm feeling so much better
Now that I can call you mine
I can't get you- off my mind
You are the #1 contender

Nah.. I'm just kidding
You are the only one that is-
On my mind

Suprised that you like me
Because there is no such thing as guarantees
If you were to see my past
You would see what I mean

But I've never been so certain
About this thing we call "love"
But I'm pretty sure
That you are my angel sent to me-
From above

I am crushing hard
This caught me- so off guard
I have never felt this way

I haven't found the words to
Tell you
How I really feel
About you

I'm scared
That you won't like me
In the same- way

I haven't found the words to
Tell you
How I really feel
About you

I hope you feel- the same way
Every time we say goodbye
I want to say-
Please stay

On the verge
Of bankruptcy,
My blood-
Dark Red
Splattered
Across the
Hard wood
Floor

I don't know
If I can take anymore
Of this pain
Blood shot-
Eyes

If only my book
I could
Revise
But every second
A part of me
Dies

If only I could spend
My last moment
Alive-
Seeing you
Look into my dead
Lifeless eyes

I gave up,
Trying to please you
Because i know that i can't win,
This game that YOU are trying to play,
With me

I am your precious victim,
The one that you despise
But i know that
There is love,
Hidden with-in
Your hideous,
Demented eyes

They lied to me
Once or twice
But I guess your
So called " love "
Will suffice

For now

My grave is dug deeper
Trying to make me- disappear
But being buried alive-
isn't my biggest fear

I took your hand
And tried to make you mine
Because I've been here for you-
Since the beginning of time

But I lost you
No I gave you up
And then all this fighting
Did erupt

I would do anything
To have you in my arms- again
But I'd be lucky
to have you as my friend

I miss you
And
Want you to know
How I feel

A part of me dies
When you say good bye
If she makes you happy
Then I will be alright

But if she brings
You pain..
I would want to tell you
That You Had It Coming

I've waited here all this time
Told you I wanted to make you mine
And for a moment you loved me too
But there is no getting through to you

one minute closer
until we say
our final good byes

one moment closer
until we part
separate ways
I hope that you
will always remember
that I love you

but the clock is ticking
time is almost up
and one day - I hope
we will meet again
or I can always
pretend

I'm disappointed
You are throwing your life away
I'm disappointed
But I'd try to help you
Only if you
Promised- to meet me half way

You thought that
It would make you look so "cool"
But instead you got busted
And now you look like a fool!

Yeah I know that
You are a "victim" of peer pressure
But you have a brain
And you should have known better

I hope you get the chance
To turn your life around
Because I know that your future
Could be so bright
But first you must know the difference
Between what is wrong and what is right

And promise to change the way you have lived your life,
This very night

It seems like just yesterday
That you left my life
But this is the second time
But I guess I am satisfied
Since you at least remembered to say good bye

Now if only some one would tell you
How much I miss seeing your name
Pop up on my computer screen
At any given time of the day

I guess things are never
Meant to last forever
And I guess that it is a little too late
For closure

Since you deleted me
From your precious life

I moved on from the past
A long time ago
Because time travels fast
When you go with the flow

I moved with the currents
That make up the sea
I want everyone to know
That I'm the best I can be

I'm showing the world
That I'm worth it
Going to leave them so
F* up and confused

Can't wait to see the shock
That devours their face

When they realize
That I'm standing
On the top of the world today..

I'm looking down...
Smiling
Because I know
That I won this game

I have this picture of you
Sitting right in front of my face
I can't believe -what happened-
just yesterday

I thought that-you cared
You told me not to worry
I thought that you were sorry
But I guess that's just another reason
Why I was so scared

I'm so tired
Of all the stupid games
That you  have been playing

I thought that you really wanted
To be
with me again
But I guess I was just stupid

That i never caught the red flag

stop and stare
say what you want to
I'm gonna be me...
I'm just.. gonna be me..

I'm gonna show the world
that I'm worth it
leave em begging for mercy
outside of my.. front door

because I know that
I'm.. Worth.. More...

I'm gonna.. look you in the eyes
.. and say
that
I'm no longer.. afraid

I slit my wrists

Trying to bleed out
Trying to mask
The pain

And I know
That he wouldn't

Want it
any
other way

He wanted to see me suffer
To see the look
On my face

I'm going insane

Hey y'all
I'm going insane

And it is sad

That he got wanted

He sent me to suffer

Through this pain

All alone
And
We just got off the phone

Tears drown my face
But when I'm in school
I tried to hide the pain

You marked a place in my heart
Ever since the very start
You have always known-
exactly what to say
When you knew that-
I wasn't having-
a great day

You are so talented
And I have been- so blessed
To have- you in my life
Someone to talk to
Although the night

You are family
The closest person to me
I just wanted to say- thank you
For everything that you do

After rain falls
And ***** out the life
Another thing is born
Through out the night

I was tired of hiding in darkness
I was afraid of the fight
I was afraid of what was waiting
For me
When I turned on the light

But i cannot be afraid
Of what I can not see
But rather be happy
Of what may lay ahead of me

Black
And
Blue

No matter- what I do

I can't escape
this madness
I'm being held
Captive

I Tried to break
down these walls
But they're just standing
Up so strong

I tried getting through
But I guess
Nothing
Ever gets through  to you

I am so tired
Of being- second place
You are never admired
And no one sees your face

I'm tired of others
Being first in your mind
When you knew
I had your back

All this time

But I made one stupid mistake

But that doesn't matter anymore
I already lost this race

This journey
Began with a single step
After I decided not to follow my dreams
But to chase them

My world
I never defined in black and white
Because there is so much
Hidden
Amongst the grays

I know my life isn't perfect
But I'm thankful for what I have
Because no-one can go back
And start completely new

But I can start from today
And make a better ending

Because I have this dream

Choking me
Until the day I die
While others just sit back
And stand by

My soul is being pulled
Down a  dark tunnel
Which goes on forever
Until i reached
The final destination

Death

I place this kiss
Upon your cheek
For I never know
When we -will next meet

When we met
I melted
as the sun shined through

I was cool under pressure
Until I met you

the devil came to take me to hell
but I'm already there
as far as I can tell

I keep asking myself
Am I insane?
what is with the thoughts that are
trapped in my brain?

I don't know
but for now
I'm blind with rage

I can't wait to be in your arms at night
Kiss with every goodbye
Can't wait to look in your eyes and say
That I want to be with you every day

The day when you get down on one knee
And slip on a ring
Will be the best day for me
The day my soul was set free

Thank you for everything
You mean everything to me <3

the moment you
walked into my life
you gave me
a reason
to..
survive

I'd be
completely
lost
with-out you

so please
don't
ever
leave

Pain surges
through-out my veins
deep down I know
I'm going insane

everyone that could have helped
left me begging on my knees
but then they turn around
and leave

my heart is pumping
blood all over the floor
but you still have the guts
to come back
and ask for more

The broken side walks
Are broken beyond repair
They will need replaced

I'm afraid
That I'll always have to keep holding my breathe
And I'm afraid
That it will be this way
Until my death

I keep having to
Bite my tongue
Because I'm afraid
That fighting will erupt

I keep trying to
Make everyone happy
But I guess that it
Can never be that way

I have a lot of things on my mind
My true happiness
I
Set out to find

I'm done
Trying to make
Everyone else
happy
When I'm
Not

Life is a card game
You try to play by strategy
You make the best of the cards
That you have been dealt

But sometimes you are given
One too many cards

And with one missed movement
What was once standing
Will tumble down

Gazing over the ledge
I hear a splash
And something blue appears
Watch it swim by

Gracefully
And yet so natural
Not sure what I see
Is real

The sun glares down
Sweat drowns my face
As the dolphins put on a show
Then freely swim away

what do you see when you look in my eyes,
do you see darkness,
or do you see light

do you see an angel,
that soars high in the sky,
or do you see the devil,
hidden in disguise

do you see the nightmares,
that awaken me at night,
or do you see the fantasies,
coated in a bunch of lies

do you see the person,
that I dream to be,
or do you see the person,
that is stuck here in reality

my hearts being pulled-
in many different directions
piece by piece- it breaks

I wonder how I'm staying strong
how I survived for this long
I know that they deserve better
then me
and if that is the way this ends
then let it be

I'm in this battle
It is me vs. me
my heart points me towards something
then my head drags me back
into what might be reality

I can't take much more
my soul is soaring
but my body lays lifeless
on the floor

when water builds up
all on the surface is lost
families re-build

Pushed up hard against the glass,
wish you had time to react, it just happened all too fast,
getting hurt left and right,
you feel weak because you can't stand up and fight

too afraid to seek some help,
because you are afraid that the word will get out,
now show them punks what you are all about,
and this time- you won't be afraid to shout

stand up for who you are,
because in life that will get you far,
don't back down and lose that fight,
know that I will be by your side until I know that everything will be alright

being held by a rusty cage no longer,
experiencing this world much more,
and feeling so much strong,
than I ever could have before you

before I was living,
in a dark world,
thought that I had nothing to offer,
until you came around

always thinking loneliness was my fate,
all day I'd do nothing but waste,
until you showed me that it's not too late,
and our love keeps me from hate

you scared away the demons,
that haunted my life,
now I am happily living,
with you by my side