"I am sorry"
are nothing but empty words
that mean nothing at all
to me

it is the same ****
every day
nothing will ever change
you will always be
the same

why do I even try?
You will never see
the fault in your ways
you will always be
the same

no matter what
I say
it never gets through
to you

you know how
it makes me feel
like I am
all alone
like I am
second

you will always be
the same
so
get out of my way

clouds swirling up in the sky above me
depression
like a funnel
waiting to devour me

to conquer me
to finish me off

in the end
would it even matter?

A waste
of precious space
Getting in
your way

Although a
Part of me
Wishes you would ask me
to stay

I don't want to fight anymore
why should i even try?

but
I am not fighting
this alone

I have to
remain strong
for all the people
I love

They say
"let there be light"
but all I see
is darkness

corruption
in the hands
of those
I was supposed to trust

now I know
that they
are no different
than anyone else

they will
discriminate
just like the rest

but I
will not stop
until I am
the very best

I don't want a
diamond ring
I don't care
about the bling

all I want
is someone
that could
hold me close

I go to sleep
at night
with no one
by my side

when the
Sun rises
I am
still walking alone

what I would
do
to have you
here

when I
need you the most
and when
you need me

my insecurities
keep creeping
In
and keep
tearing my heart
into pieces

until there is
nothing
but ashes
left
of me

a window
sealed
by a wall
of bricks

there is
no means
of escape

I am
surrounded
by strangers
who haven't bothered
to find out
my name

I have tried to
escape
but I won't accomplish
anything
that way

I will
prove you wrong
I am worth more than this

I deserve more
than this
you just watch
and see

what I'm
capable of

"no wonder why
you have no friends"
who said
i ever cared

i would rather
have no friends at all
if all they are going
to do
is stab me in my back

i am not
here for friends
i don't need anyone
but me

you say i
complain too much
you say you
don't complain at all

i look at you
like you are crazy
what do you
think you are doing then?

pretending

you cry to
all your "friends"
you say that
I am being mean

so i confront you
and i tell you
that you are
a hypocrite ..

and of course
you didn't like
what i had to say

so you started
screaming
and said that you could
"take me"

then you
stormed out of the room
into an endless pit
of your lies

i don't have the time

Do not expect me
To do your job for you
You have two capable hands
You have two capable feet

So walk yourself over there
And do it yourself

It is one thing
If you are busy
Another thing
If you are just being lazy

I have things that
I need to get done
And I won't be letting you
Have any fun

We continue
To live in a sexist world

It does not matter
What any college,  scholarship commitee, or employer says

They are
Always trying to
Improve the ratio
To make it seem
More appealing

But really
We are being
Discriminated against
And cheated
Out of various positions

It shouldn't matter
If I am a male or female
As long as I have
The qualifications
To do my job

I am tired
Of this oppression

I am capable of
Everything and anything
As long as I
Put my heart into it

My relationship is
Slowly falling apart
No matter how hard I try
Things never turn out right

They tend to crumble
Then fall

I can’t keep doing this
I keep telling myself
That I am fine

But in reality I’m just
Getting by
One step
At a time

I don’t regret
My decisions
I just want things
To change

But they just haven’t
And he has known
That it has bothered me
For this long

But I am trying
To remain strong

Not going to let this lobe
Just slip away
I am not going to watch
Him walk away

Things happen
In mysterious ways
Like what had happened
Just earlier today

When listening to
The Stickers
Live
And upbeat

I felt this
Muse
That made me
Complete

It has been a long time
My dear friends
But I still have some things
That have to be said

Shout out
To the lead singer named Joe
Who said follow your dreams
Because anything is possible
As long as you believe

a guy
I thought, I knew
but it turned out-
that I never had a clue

thought that we
could stitch up
the broken pieces
but who was I kidding?

glad we
moved on
you were-
the reason
things went so wrong

and

it was time for you-
to get gone

I don't need
anyone
but I want
you

you make me
complete
you are- my missing
puzzle piece

I know that I've made
many mistakes
and it makes-
my heart break

but
thank you
for being here
along the way

we will strive
together
I'll always be
by your side

please never leave
my life
I never want
to say good-bye

I know my
insecurities
often get in
the way

but I know
how much
I mean
to you

I know
our love
is true

and I don't
care
what any one else
THINKS

you're the
best thing
that's ever
happened to me

I was the one
That had your back all of these years
But something snapped inside
I was tired of all the lies

How you'd-
Be with me
Come to me
But

All the excuses
You made
Not to be in my corner
When I needed you the most....

And now I-
let you go
Because it's whats best for you
It's whats best for me

After all the girls-
After all the guys-
I ended up
Right back at your side

But I guess
This is-
what's best

Because
All the excuses
You made
Were just
Getting in the way

Of what is-
Best for you
What is best for me

He's got you high on a pedestal
Too bad you aren't faithful to him

You are using him -
To get to me

You've got him wrapped around your finger

But who do you think you're fooling?

You are using him to get to me

But I've got bad news
It's not going to happen
Because
I'm so over him

So stop trying
To use him
To get to me

The dreary darkness drifts
across the vast blue sky
wispy clouds
travel around
gradually attracting another addition

All but ONE
a lonesome cloud
struggling silently
nobody sees a thing

Bluntly Blinded
they turn the tables
on ONE of their own

A break
From reality
A step
Away from insanity

Peace and quiet
A healthy state of mind
I'm not missing
What I've left behind

A quick glance
At the scenery
I am finally aware
Of the world around me

In summertime, our love is charming, like roses swaying in the breeze.
In wintertime, our love is warm- the embrace from head to toe.

If skies are blue, our love must be true- two people connected as one.

When spring flowers bloom, our love is playful, like green petals on a clover.
When autumn leaves fall, our love stands tall, shining bright from day to night.

From the day we met, til the day we die, our love will continue to delight. From season to season I will love you always! My one- my only love.

Troubled and
Insecure. I'm a
**** up and make mistakes. And I'm
Faced with the consequences
And I wouldn't want it any other way
Not now or ever shall I stray away
Because
Yesterday all my fears- flew away

And trust me baby
I'm not going away

A necklace
I hold close and dear
In memory
Of someone I lost last year

Beautiful
As far as the eye can see
But it means
So much more to me

Appreciate
Every second of life

Because

you never know
when you might die

So many things
To be- thankful for
But with desire
It flies out the door

Why can't we appreciate
The things we already have?
Would you die
If they were cut in half?

It's the time of year
To spread some Christmas cheer
So hold on to everything
That you hold dear

Life will never
Be an easy breeze
But with your help
It might go on- with a little more ease

Life
A clock
Ticking away

Each second
Passes
Another second
Closer to death

There is
No guarantee
That we will live
To see tomorrow

So stop
Taking advantage
Of time
Because time
Can not be replaced

Procrastination
An evil
That brainwashes
And is designed to ****

It kills
Hopes and dreams
Of children
Everywhere

Our intentions
Put to the side
Never focused on

So why
Do we get so mad
When things
Don't go our way?

We are set up to
FAIL
but what if
We never try?

I have built myself
From ashes
Others will not determine
My fate

Tired of being the girl
In the shadows
I will
Take your breath away

Your opinion
No longer matters
It is
Dead to me

I will rise
To the occasion
And defeat
My inner enemy

I had your back
Through it all
I was blinded
When you let me fall

What kind of friend were you?
What kind of friend were you?

A knife, in the back
Is all you'll ever be
But you
Will never get the best of me

Another chapter of my life gone
With no regrets-
Because who knows
What I'll find

Lift the
Weight off your shoulders
Make ammends
With your mistakes

Today is the start
Of a brand new day
And I plan on taking
Your breath away

Live life
To its' fullest
Don't surrender
To your fear

Because fear is
The devil in disguise
All he wants
Is to make you cry

Let God
Open the gates of your heart
Because this
Is a brand new start

The walls I built
Inside my head
A reminder
Of all the things that made me mad

Lack of confidence
Lack of trust
To succeed
Those two things are a must

I will
Out grow my shell
And move to
A bigger hell

the girl
In the back of the room
the girl
That never raises her hand

the one
Who's afraid of sounding stupid
the one
Who's scared to get hurt

the person
That everybody judges
the person
That isn't good enough

that person
Was me
Before I found my voice

So many things-
We complain about in life
It is time- that we
Stop taking things so light

Now and days
Everything is a game
But I know
I don't want it to remain this way

A world of violence
A world of loss
Destruction-
Is the ultimate cost.

Locked up in Isolation
Guarded by golden gates
I look for an exit
But there seems to be no escape

Trapped-
By the ones I love
My "prince"
Is on his way

He will open the gate
That guards my heart
And I shall
Be free again

But-
In time
Retained
By my brutal mind games

It has been 5 months
Since you passed
Heaven-
Must be truly blessed

A birthday cake
Big enough for two-
A piece for Jesus
And a piece for you

Although I miss
Your warm embrace
Loss is something-
That we all have to face.

I'm done putting faith in
Back stabbing *******
Who never gave a ****
About me

You never gave a ****
Never gave a ****-
About pretty
little me

Stop pretending that you care
This is not a love affair.
Your love- I shouldn't
Have to share

But you never gave a ****
Never gave a **** -
About pretty
Little me

I am -
Such a fool
Will never be more
Than a broken power tool

My heart is breaking
With every step I take
What if- I turn out to be
Some big mistake

I never do-
Anything right
I am hanging on
With my very last might.

I am about to give up
And throw in the towel
But maybe it is the best I can do
At least for a little while

I'm like a present- on Christmas
Only good for a month or two
What were you thinking?
Pretending-that I was wanted
Toying with my emotions

I am done-
Hiding
I am putting everything
On the line

I'm tired
Of being put last
So tired
Of being thrown away

I am not
Some piece of trash
I will be rebuilt
Ash by ash

The number 16
A constant reminder
Of what happened five
Short months ago

A lot has happened
Since he passed
Should have made- the time count
While it lasted

But instead-I took everything
For granted
And now I am left-
Completely stranded

Along way from home.

Words can not describe
How I feel
Because this feeling
Seems so unreal

I have never felt
This way before
I have never been so-
Unsure

And every time I see you
My heart beats out of my chest
Because I have
Something to confess

Greet each person
With a holy high five
Because through God's touch
You will feel alive

Every stranger leaves-
Their mark on you
And through that mark-
True beauty will shine through

Lift others up
When you are down
Because a helping hand-
Will soon come around

God is in me
and he will never leave
because anything is possible
as long as you believe

"Stay joined to me,
and I will stay joined to you."
because God's love
is unconditionally true.

His love-
a crystal spring
bigger and brighter
than any other thing.

the weeping window breaks
washing away past mistakes
the thunder claps
and the lighting strikes
threatening to shut off your light

the Rain-
cries a river
the Wind-
tries to catch its breath
Human-
just trying to get a break

and while the cards are stacked
in someone else's favor
I'm stuck-
doing their hard labor.

Tonight- he called
Down to me
To deliver a message
For the whole world to see

Envision a place
Where it is safe to dream
Jesus, our savior
Created the land of the free

And if you are ever in need
"Ask and you shall receive"
For Jesus- is the only one
That will never leave

When life gives you lemons
Make lemonade
Because Jesus our savior
Will always come to your aid

As long as you -continue to pray

I was a little girl
Only eight years old
Full of innocence
In a world so cold

Bad things- happen everyday
If only we could have it
Some other way

Wish that I-
Could turn back time
And make sure that I got
An eye for an eye

The things-that you are forced to do
No one knows what you've been through

But they are still-quick to judge you
Maybe it's time
to try something new
Just know that I'm moving on
I'm over you.

It would be best
To go- our separate ways
And if- I didn't know better
I would ask you to stay

All we were doing...
Was living- in the past
I should have known
We'd never last

As I sit here- all alone
I am left- to wonder
About the unknown
And try- to find my way
Back Home.

Beauty of nature
Renewal of life
The cherry tree blossoms
And lights up the night

The weeping tree's branches
Cascading down after a full bloom
A butterfly; once trapped
Flies out of its cocoon.