Tonight I leave the light on
when I go to sleep
because I pretend I'm not the only one awake in this house.

Brother strums his guitar in the other room
when night falls over Hometown Oblivion.
Father slams the door and tells Mother to keep busy
in case her flock has run away during the day.

Sister is sleeping peacefully beside me,
and though I wish I could do the same,
I know it's better off for both of us this way.

I lie awake,
bittersweet memories of my ex-friends and long-lost comrades
keep me company.
Hold my pen, just in case,
my flock visits someone else tonight,
like always.

Warm tears spill onto the pages.
I might as well give up at this point;
can't stop thinking about you, can't stop holding fast to my breathing.
I wish to die in my sleep
because it's driving me insane;
Clutch the crucifix in hopes all this time I've just made a mistake.

If you can hear this unwarranted plea,
listen to me crying and undo.
All the things that I would've done
if I still had you.

Please come and save me.

"You poor, poor thing,"
signs whisper to me as we pass by.
They know that I can't escape;
this new aching in my heart that wasn't there before
is only the growing pains of getting old.

But only love can hurt like this.
My heart is expanding to endless limits.
I love you even when I don't,
you're filling up the spaces between my bones.

Now my head is the only thing still my own.
I know you'd break my nose to break in,
bruise my heart only to mend it again.
I'd do the same but I'm already patched with bits of you and I'm losing control.

All the lies are growing vines,
wrapping around everything that they can find.
Twisted thoughts become tangled pleas.
I hope for you to rescue me
from all the dark places
that inflate with the space
between you and me,
between love and misery.

Time is a broken clock.
Singing endlessly, "When will the music stop?"
The verses blur into Answer me!'s
but I cannot speak.
I dread coming to,
though I'd much rather be with you,
the questions, like flowers, are pressing
So for him I'm *******.
The whispers, they threaten.
I'm no longer in your possession.
Forgive me.

Down the rabbit hole she goes
Where she's going- no one knows
Because no one knows she's falling at all