13.20 ♡ pt. i

you know that pain when you love someone so much, it physically hurts in your chest to be apart from them.

there are moments you wish they didn’t do things that made you the happiest person alive, so maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much being away from them.

but you don’t wish that, instead you welcome and take in every emotion that comes to you. because that’s what makes you human. because being able to feel those emotions means that you once experienced a very special and significant moment in your life.

yes, there may be aching to missing someone you love so much, but being able to say that you’ve missed that person should be taken as a positive way sometimes. because you got the opportunity to have them in your life, even if it was only for a little while.

i am beyond thankful
i am the happiest
all because of you

No matter how hard you try to fix broken relationships, friendships, and people , some things aren't meant to be fixed. You will have no control over this and sometimes all you can do is let it go.
2. You will get your heart broken, a lot. Doesn't matter how prepared you are, it will hurt and maybe for a very long time. But time heals everything and eventually all this will pass by.
3. You will get attached to people you never thought you'll talk to ever and you will tell them your life story, but eventually they will leave and you'll watch them walk away. And it is alright to get sad about it.
4. Take chances and tell people what you think and how you feel. Yes, it will be scary but it will also be satisfying. I think it is important to speak your mind and to be brutally honest, because you'll regret the things you never say and you will also regret some things you say. But always let your thoughts be heard.
5. Stop torturing and comparing yourself to who is better at it. Be happy of who you are because there is no one best at it other than you.
6. Remember, you are your own hero. You are the one that picks yourself up after every time life punches you right in the stomach and hands you all the pain. Don't be so ******* yourself, learn self-love. You'll be happier trust me.
7. Get out of your comfort zone and try different type of things. Amazing things don't happen by doing the exact same things. Change things up a bit in your life cause you might end up getting over a fear or find something you might have true passion for.
8. There are always firsts for everything in life. So go ahead be spontaneous as you can be. Be glad that you're still young cause you've got your whole life ahead of you. Enjoy your adolescent because it will get hectic in the adult world.
9. Have time just for yourself. It's alright to shut the world out for awhile. Sometimes all you need is peace and quiet. Just a time alone to think about important things.
10. Get some sleep and rest. It is the best way to find temporary peace and forget about all the problems you have.
11. Your education and future is very important. Strive to be the best you can be. You know that you can be the best if you're willing to work hard for it. Prioritize and manage your time wisely, trust me it's a good working habit to have in the future.
12. Thank the people who have helped and shaped you to be who you are and where you are right now. Thank the people who have underestimated and misunderstood you, you've became stronger because of this.
13. Know that sometimes the best of your friends will not be in the mood to want to talk about your dilemmas in life, there are times you didn't feel like doing that too, so forgive them for this. But always appreciate the friendships you have, these will be the people who will help you along the way through the hardships in your life, so be grateful always.
14. Don't hold grudges. You will not be happy if you do so, forgive them and you'll be much happier that you took that heavy weight off your chest.
15. One day boys will give you all their attention and ignore you the next day. And then they will flirt and make you special some more time. This will get tiring with, but you baby girl have the power and right to stop putting up with all their games.
16. Stop waiting for things to happen and enjoy life as it is. Stop waiting for the right moment and just for it. Enjoy the surprises life brings to you because sometimes the most amazing things happen when it is unplanned and least expected.

She was not satisfied with herself
thought she was not too skinny
not so smart
and was never good enough

But she did not know of how he saw her through his own eyes
he thought about her magnificent beauty
of how passionate she was when she talked about her favourite things
the sparks in her eyes when the littlest things could make her happy
he fell in love of how she could make others smile, when she was sad
how she doesn't sometimes try her best, but could still look so stunning
her giggly laugh
that song she would constantly repeat
about how she has the need to quote from her favourite books
having to re-watch a movie that explained her life
her bad habits, ****** expressions
he knows all of that like it's his favourite song
and has got it all memorized

So he told her about all that
and taught her
to love herself more
just like how much he loves her

Don't fall in love with that somebody
He'll take you to parks, coffee shops, & to the ocean shore
He'll kiss you & lift you up with an embrace
At the most unexpected time in the most beautiful places
So you can never go back to those places without tasting a mouthful of him
He'll wreck you in the most lovely way possible
& now you'll know why storms were named after people

and it was all over
in that moment
you said you were done
and grown tired of me
I don't blame you though
I'd get tired of me too

and ever since you left
it's been pretty hard
just like the season changing
you did too & left me hanging
So I wasn't surprised when you had decided to go in this season
leaving me in the coldness

and my question is
did you even care
did you even get to know me
or was it all just fun and games
was it all real or was it just pretend to you
because you leave a trail of broken hearts without knowing that you do or not caring at all

and when you told me that you wouldn't forget me
I know that was not true
because in honesty boy
since the day you went away
I have thought less & less of you

and I've given up
given up on trying to make you stay
given up on trying to make you come back
given up on trying to change your mind

and I don't know why I've given up
maybe because a new season was coming
but I sure don't feel the same way anymore
I've moved on & continued to live happily

and then one day we met again
you looked at me with deep uncertainty
I looked at you as someone who was once a big part of me
but as seasons changed
I learned to look at you & didn't feel hurt at all

I know it's been months since you left
Somehow parts of you will never fade away
Like that time when you told me you grew tired of me
That I know will never leave my mind & will scar me for life
Now I have to pretend that I didn't see you & I don't think it will ever stop hurting, but I'll just get used to it

And last night I called you just to hear your voice again
The least thing I had expected you to do was answer my call
So then I asked you how you were doing
And I could feel you shaking your head with confusion
So you sat there quietly on the other line, hesitant to tell me
In that very moment it was like you forgot I even existed & that I once part of your life
After a few minutes you finally replied, saying "alright" and at that I made sure to let go of you
I smiled as I hung up the phone
And that was the last conversation I had with you

Fast forward to the present time
And yes I still wonder how you are & what you've been doing
I still wonder what you & your friends are up to, and if you've seen any concerts recently
I know that if you heard me ask you these things, you'd have that big smile on your face like you used to
Every time I said something thoughtful

So you'll probably still think that I need you
That I still want you
And in this moment, no.
Not at all, not in this case
Because nine months ago I was doing everything I can just to impress you
To make sure & check up on you that you were happy & content
And to make sure I was the person causing happiness & that smile on your face
But no, it isn't nine months ago
It is the present time
It is now
In this moment
I remember you as a person I shared my secrets to at 3am in the morning & ****** to feel a sense of closeness
I remember you as someone I shared special moments with, like laughing at something at 5 in the morning
I remember you as someone who made me happy through the dark moments in my life and that I'm always grateful for
But you see it isn't nine months ago
It is the present time
It is now
And in this very moment
I miss how you messaged me unexpectedly just to ask me what happened throughout my day
I miss you how you cared, even at things that weren't so important
I miss our friendship, our secrets, our stories, our dreams & goals
So maybe one day things will be alright again
It will be different, but it will be better
And maybe we'll run into each other
Catching up with our lives
But right now you're a faded memory
Someone I used to know, but all that is a blur

In times of trouble and struggle,
I pray to God to send me an angel to watch over me
He did that before I was even born into this world
Before I even asked him to do so
It took me a long time to realize that I was my very own angel
I was the angel who picked up the pieces every time life knocked me over and it was my own wings that I was able to fly and my own two feet to stand up again every single time I stumbled down
My wings are made from the perseverance and the things I've endured
God made me as my own angel because he knew that I was out of this world and destined for greatness
My halo glows and shines brighter each time I go through hardship
That itself makes me a stronger person than ever
God believed that I could guide myself through whenever I got lost
Cause sometimes angels often wander around the world,
Flying through cities and countries
But he always believed angels knew how to make their way back
Sometimes they just have to get lost to be able to learn more of themselves
I believe this to be true because whenever life puts you through a tough time who is the one that heals the wounds? It's you.
For I believe that others can't truly help you, if you aren't making any effort to helping yourself
So if you ever feel like you're failing and everything is falling
apart
And I know there will be times where you think you can't survive another heartache
But you've got wings and you can soar through this pain and yes you will get over this misery
Every time you are ever to spread those wings, it means you are still very much alive and you were able to cope from all of that
With that much confidence in yourself, no demon would ever try to come near you because they know what you are capable of
Don't let the sadness consume you, happiness and smiles is much greater and better
Trust me seeing the smile of angel is truly what God has sent from above

You are an angel for yourself and as well for others, you might not even know it. I know the path isn't always smooth, I know you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. Remember you have a halo to help you see through darkness. Your wings to help you back up. Don't think low of yourself because you are of God's beautiful creations.

All I want is to make you happy
Turning all your tears & sadness into shooting stars & galaxies
And the times you'll feel like you're drowning, I'll risk my life & pull you back to shore, despite the fact that I can't swim
And when you feel like darkness has took over you, I'll be the moonlight that guides you through
I'll be the sunrise to help you get up & remind you a new day is coming
To make you look forward for the sunset, to see how lovely it is just like you

I'll do these all for you because you are my sun on which my world gravitates to
You're my whole night sky & the whole reason why I'm twinkling all the time because of how much you make me happy
You're that sunflower that makes my day a whole light brighter
You're my whole **** ocean, the deeper you swim is knowing how much I adore you
You're that beautiful rainbow I always look forward to see after the bad rainy days I'm having
And you are that shooting star that only comes once in a life time, because I was blessed you came into my life & that is a wish I'd never regret wishing

But all these things just weren't enough
Because it seems it were all the reason to make you leave
For you have found someone who's presence you can't describe in any of the alphabet
Someone who's voice reminds you of the peaceful serene sound the ocean makes
A girl who gives you tingles all over your body, while I was the wasps you have mistaken for butterflies
Someone who's got you thinking of metaphors about love and got you singing all these love songs

So now here I am a hurricane mess
A tornado of destruction
The girl who used to have stars in her lungs, but I've burned them with all the cigarettes I was smoking
And those flowers that were growing in the bottom of stomach are long gone, because you can't water flowers with *****
For I had the sky in my brain, but I've been shattered apart the day you said you were leaving & now it's just a stormy weather up there
And I had the ocean in my eyelids to show you that we could sail together through this cruel world, but now I'm just left crying a river for you
That taste of fresh picked strawberries in my lips, now tastes like broken promises & wrecked expectations
And my hands that used to fit with yours, are just plain empty just like every **** part of me
All the beautiful things that were in my life are gone in that instance just like how you left just like that

I'm deeply very jealous of others girls
with such profound beauty
the ones that can make everyone twirl
that girl who others want to be around with
a best friend everybody wants to have
with just one look at her, she'll leave you breathless
who could overcome any struggles that life has given
ones with a natural giggly laugh
who could pull off any make up
who could make you laugh so hard, that everyone else already stopped
that perfect smile, that could turn your frown upside down
with a unique style for clothes
having such a magnificent personality
smirk on their face, making you believe everything would be fine
ones that could cheer you up and take your sadness away
the girl who could fight the monsters in her head and fight for your sorrows

But I am sorry

That I am not good enough
like those other girls
who could possibly make you happy

I apologize

For being just me
clumsy, annoying, clingy, insecure, imperfect girl
and for loving you that much

and  I  am  sorry

for being so jealous of other girls

Rolling a joint was his specialty
Smoking **** was his hobby
Being on top of rooftops was his favourite place to be
A **** is the one thing he always carries
And the lighter is the way he knew he could be away from reality
Even just for a little while

Buying a drink is his side job
Drinking is one of the things he likes doing
Only because it may be an excuse to do reckless things for one night and not being able to remember them the next day
And a hangover is a reminder of how much he had to drink
He does all this because of all the fun he's having

He may be a bad boy
But he brings good intentions

Because really he does all this to making his friends happy
To having fun with them
And of course have a little fun of his own too
Now you can't say he's bad when he's doing all the good deed he can do

Trust me there's more to him than smoking and drinking
He's got that killer smile
That'll make your heart melt
He's got all these witty stories
With a lot of rebellious and illegal things that was behind all of it
But he's got a kind heart
Someone who dearly loves his family
And the most protective brother he could be
The little things brings happiness into his eyes and I swear I think I've seen it twinkle a couple of times
He showed me chivalry still exist
And that there's nothing wrong with having fun just for a while
Even if it can be rebellious
Because he said that it'll be a story someday you'll laugh about
Pretty sure he's got more fire in him than a lighter and I wouldn't mind if I got burned
For he brings fireworks inside of me
Bursting into happiness
For that is what he has shown me
True genuine happiness

He said being sober was his biggest weakness
Not until he met me
Because apparently I make him go weak on his knees
And he says that's why he kneels down randomly for he's thanking God for bringing me into his life
He then said that I brighter than a lighter he would lit up to smoke
He said I am his sun who brought daylight back into his life
And every time he wakes up it's like breathing for fresh air
I bring this fire inside of him
That is filled with passion and compassion
Something he's been hiding all these years
For I have brought it back and gave him inspiration

Little does he know that he gives me inspiration too
The boy who lit it up for me and showed this whole other side of me
I've never been this happy
Right by his side
He said to me that in a long time he didn't mind being sober because I've helped him overcome his fears and he loved living in reality with me better than running away from everything

He'll always be the boy who welcomingly offered with a big smile to join him for a little fun get away
And gave and showed me happiness along the way
Always the lovely stoner

I am jealous of your bed sheets, that gets to know what happened throughout your day
That gets to find out all your secrets at 3 in the morning
And gets to know who the real you is
I am jealous how it gets to listen to your heart beat every night before you go to sleep
Jealous how it gets to listen to all your favourite songs
How it's able to comfort you from the cold, because I wish my embrace could do that
I am jealous how it's able to wipe out all your tears from the bad days you've been having, because I wish I could take away your sadness for you
I am jealous how you look forward to be in your bed every night, because I wish I could be your home that you come to
I am jealous how it's always there for you, even if you didn't need it
Because I just hope that I could be there for you even if I didn't have to
But I can't because you won't let me be there
I am jealous how it brings you comfort & warmth
For how I wish I could be the one to comfort you
Jealous how it gets to tuck you in every night
And how it gets to sleep and be with you whenever you want to
Because I wish so bad to be with you whenever
Mostly I am jealous how it's where you want to be at most times, when you have your dark days
Because I just want you to come to me in the times where you're at your lowest
I am jealous how it knows all your stories, your strengths, weaknesses
Because I just want to be able to know them too
Jealous how it's the most comfortable place to be, because I wish to be your safe haven

I'm broken
shattered into pieces
never will be full again
torn apart
crushed so deeply

Everyday I try to be happy
but my day always ends up ******

Still can't let some things go
so I end up feeling low
but I try my best though
to not let my feelings show

With unanswered questions
consistently looking for suggestions
of why I'm in depression

There's no hope
I can't even cope
of my own self
this is no good for my health

Really got to stop feeling down
maybe I should just go away for awhile & get out of town
before I let myself drown
with all my thoughts that'll just make me frown

I should start fresh
and forget about how my life's a mess
dismiss myself from all that stress
but be grateful instead of how I'm truly bless

Don't make decisions
when you've got a broken heart
for an unattached individual
with forgotten promises
abandoned memories
rejected phone calls
wrecked expectations
deserted arrangements
dreadful lies
forsaken mixed signals
slowly it will **** you
ripping the heart to pieces
soon you'll be
crept up to loneliness
regretting all your dumbfounded decisions
left with an empty feeling
with happiness never coming your way
for this will ruin you
and tear you apart

This is a deep poem
Way deeper than the ocean
Deeper than that the hole you dug
Much deeper than the hole I dug
Me & you digging can't compare to how deep this is
If everyone in the world digged with us, this poem would still be deeper
A poem so deep that a black hole isn't near close to how deep it is
This poem isn't going anywhere
Because you don't really know where you're going to end up in life
This poem symbolizes absolutely nothing
Because nothing it put together
And this poem doesn't have any meaning to it either
So stop reading this
and go live your life
So you can find a meaning to that
Because you sure won't find it here
Because this isn't a deep poem you idiot

I never thought someone
A girl at the age of 16
Could be filled with so much sadness
Her blood type "D" which stands for depression
Eyes that are bloodshot
Eyes that are filled with a lot of regret
Eyes that has lost hope in everything
Eyes with crushed dreams
Her eyes are so beautiful that used to be filled with happiness
Her eyes heavier than the baggage she carries
But her thoughts are heavier
But she makes an excuse saying she's fine
But she can't escape the thoughts she has on her mind
She smiles away her pain
No one knows that nothing can keep her sane
And she tries
She tries so hard
But she can't go back
Can't go back to who she was before

She had lost her innocence
She lost her innocence when her own father asked her to try & lit a cigarette on her own
And she did
She smoked away her problems
She lost her innocence when skipping one class wasn't such a big deal until it became a habit of doing it everyday
She lost her innocence when the positive attitude she had in life got poisoned by the negative thoughts that her ex best friend had & so it rubbed off on her & now all she got is this negative mentality
For every time she breathes, she breathes in the pessimistic air that had consumed her lungs & gotten to her brain
She lost her innocence when she let herself got attached to people, only for them to walk away
She lost her innocence when taking pills were the only thing that could make her happy
She lost her innocence when she puts her guard down, only for her heart to get broken
She lost her innocence when she let herself fall deeply
She lost her innocence when she tried to fix someone else, that led her to self destruction
She lost her innocence when she first tried alcohol to forget about him, and ***** tasted the same as his lips, tasted like an addiction, habit, and full of regret
She lost her innocence when she first had drugs and it tasted like things were finally going back to normal for once in her life
She lost her innocence when she sent pictures of her body to a boy, to make herself feel better by the compliments he told her
She lost her innocence when she gave everything to him & she let him touch the other parts of her body, to keep him satisfied, happy, & so that he wouldn't leave her
She lost her innocence when she broke her own rules just for him

But she was long gone
Physically alive, but mentally dead
Everything falling apart all at once
Crashing down on her & a person can only take so much pain
And she didn't know what to do & how to make it stop
She didn't know how to stop loving someone who didn't love her anymore
She didn't know how to make her parents stop yelling & fighting from the unpaid bills & she couldn't make her father stop smoking to stop spending all the money on cigarettes, while her mother does all the job
She didn't know how to deal with a goodbye she never got
She didn't know that within a year she could lose someone that meant the world to her
She didn't know that she lost herself too, that a person was able to take her heart & happiness with them
She didn't know that you could meet the love of your life, but doesn't mean you end up with them
She didn't know until now that she was never good enough & is easily replaced
She didn't know she'd be awake in the middle of the night at 16, missing someone that she gave everything to, only to have her efforts wasted
She didn't know that saying "I'm fine" could make others believe her & they did, when she really wasn't

It never occurred to me
An inflicted pain could cause this much damage to one individual
That one person has this much impact to another
That they could have this much power to make you feel like this
That these things could actually happen to her
That her so called best friend would turn back on her & make her feel worthless
That her own parents were fed up & tired of her behavior & eventually she started to believe to the things they made her feel
That no matter how hard she tries
It just won't be the same anymore

Have you ever found that one person, not different from any other person out there
but **** they make you feel alive, happy, and treat you so well
and you start to think to yourself that this person might actually be so good for you
that you give them your attention
they start to be part of your daily routine
you tell them things about yourself that you never really told anyone else before
so you take a chance of them
risking your heart and every part of you
and then one day
they decide to just walk away
leaving you out of nowhere
like a dog losing it's owner
they rip your heart out
pieces by pieces
and you let them anyways
because of how much you care for them
and do you ever think
why? why did they even take interest in you?
like why you out of all people?
so were your motives was to get to know me
breaking my ribs, have my lungs ran out of air
to having my heart raise just for you to shatter it apart
and so that they can **** you dry of all your tears you could ever cry?
and I wonder what it was or saw or felt that made them lose interest in you
because it's not fair how they can make you different and just leave
they give you all these memories and pretend that it never meant the world to you
and it ***** how I can't do anything about and how they don't know how I feel because they will never truly understand how you cherish them
as they just took you for granted
and all you can do is to be happy for them
hoping that is even enough
so do you just find that one person, not different from any other person out there
who gives you hope about love, life, and full of positivity
all to be crushed in the end
feeling so much pain
that you never wish upon anyone to feel this much heart break
but you would go through all that pain again
just so you could experience & be with that person
but everything is just a memory in your head
in time it will fade away
and you wonder how it was so easy for them to move on
while you're stuck with a goodbye you never gotten
and their favourite song replaying in your head over & over again
remembering all the promises they said, but it's all broken now
still dumbfounded how they can let you go just like that
but those what ifs, should have been, and could have been
are better left unanswered
because knowing the answer will tore you apart
and you wonder why? why did you ever let this person be part of your life?
why didn't you just leave it with the simple casual "hello"
and why did you let them break the walls that you built?
why did you even took a chance on them?
and that's because you saw potential in them that you never did with anyone for a long time
and they just **** it all up

Fall in love with someone who makes your Monday's feel like Friday's
Somebody who sees galaxies within you, a world filled with hopes and dreams
Not someone who drowns you to your insecurities and flaws
Be with a person who shows you off to their friends and families
And not hide you as a secret, because your existence is worth showing off for
Also remember to be with someone who values your worth and to cherish every moment of your presence
Who makes everyday a day filled with adventures and entertainment
Someone who's embrace feels like home and makes sure you are secure and safe
A boy who treats his mama with respect
and his little sister like a princess
Because he'll know how to treat you like royalty
Someone who's willing to learn about how much you admire the sky and the stars and the galaxies
Even though he's been living in the shore all his life and the ocean is the place where he's ever really been
But if he goes out of his way to get to know your world no matter how much the outer space scares him because of the unknown and unfamiliar things out there and the fact that he is afraid of heights and falling without no one catching him, that is someone who's worth drowning for
If he is willingly sure enough to do that for you, bring him into your galaxy take him to Mars, show him the moon so he'll finally know the phrase "I love you to the moon and back" is really about
Enjoy every sunset and sunrise with him
Because if you treat a person with so much love and care
Trust me they'll make all your wishes come true as if they were a shooting star themselves
So fall in love with someone who's down to earth
Who appreciates art and nature
Because they'll be able to appreciate you as one of God's loveliest masterpiece
Fall for someone who lights you up just like how the skyline of New York lights up every night
Somebody who is like New York a city that never sleeps, they'll stay up with you all night just to make sure you're alright until you could finally go to sleep in peace
Fall for somebody who makes everyday feel like Christmas morning 365 days a year twenty four seven
Someone who looks at you the way you look at puppies because of how much you adore them
But more importantly fall deeply in love with someone who gives you room to grow and to make sure to not forget to love yourself everyday

If you were a museum you'd be a gallery of new beginnings and hopeful dreams
A masterpiece of an unforgettable smile and dazzling eyes
You're the type of art that will touch people's soul by just looking at you
Some may be puzzled and may not be able to understand you
But there will be people who will appreciate and comprehend what you were trying to paint
You're the kind of art that has your mother's brilliant mind and your father's defined looks
Both a deadly combination
For you are the off spring to carry on your parents' goal
Your words are poetry filled with sincerity and wisdom
Your lovely face and cheerful personality makes people drawn to you
But you are still learning, everyday
Trying to draw out the biggest and most amazing masterpiece there is
You are still trying to find your muse and your inspiration
Little did you know that you are your own muse
That is why your art is pure and raw and real because it comes from within your soul
Your art is spreading love and kindness throughout others
And through years of being painters block or writers block
You've managed to block out the negativity and spread out the positivity
Because if you were a museum your artwork would be filled of a promising future and lively dreams
For you carry the genes of your mom's sadness and recklessness
And your dad's happy attitude and cautiousness
Maybe that's why you've always been reserved and detached which makes you woe
But I hope one day you open your museum that is your heart to share your art to others and let them in so that you could seek happiness and this adventurous side of you that has been hidden all these years
Because you yourself is the most beautiful piece of art work that is yet to be discovered.

Sometimes I feel like we just use other people
to fill in that gap of emptiness
when that special person in our lives
leaves you
and that is why
I can't truly grasp
never one hundred percent sure
I really don't know
if I can ever believe when
people or someone
say to me that they're
into me
or have
true sincere feelings
for me
that is because
what if I am also just a
gap filler?
just a temporary person
just filling in the emptiness
in them

What if we're just a gap to fill the emptiness of a person?
A gap that will make them feel like a whole again
A gap to fill in for someone because another human being had tore them apart
And so they feel nothing but numbness because the other has left and has took their heart with them
A gap so they wouldn't feel lonely or abandoned
A gap that makes us feel like we're being used, so that the other person would feel better about themselves
A gap that someone has replaced us with because they've got plans that weren't fulfilled with another

And so I think
Maybe we do these things too
We have this gap that needs to be filled in
So that life wouldn't be so bad as it seems
Maybe we might be using another to get over someone else
Or a gap to be able to move on
But this gap, something that helps us not feel so alone in this world
We all do it and we all have it
And that's just the cycle of life

So what if you're just a gap to someone else?
Maybe they're just a gap to you too?
But it's scary to think sometimes that you might just be a gap for that person, so that they wouldn't feel empty
But that person isn't just a gap to you, they actually make you feel like a whole
And so we move on with life and find someone else to fill in that gap because of the pain of another individual brought upon us

You know that feeling that everything just seems so right & perfect
Like there's nothing in the world that could go wrong
Because you've got that person
Your person
Right by your side
Throughout anything
And for once you aren't afraid of getting your heart broken
Cause that's something they would never do to you
And that feeling is just so great because you get to share every laugh, tears, dreams, & goals with them
And this time, this time
You know they're not leaving anywhere
So you don't have to worry about not being able to tell them a story because you know you'll have any time of the day to say what you want to say
And they don't mind the quiet silence, they're actually very comfortable with it because the quietest conversations are the best thing shared between you two
Every morning you've got that smile on your face because a new day filled with adventure is awaiting for you
This feeling you can't seem to describe
It's like seeing a shooting star for the first time & wishing for that ultimate wish
It's like watching the sunset & getting mesmerized by the beauty of it
It's like hearing the calming sound that the ocean makes & everything is peaceful
It's like seeing a full moon & everything just seem to bright & full
And for the first time in a long time you feel full, you're complete
And this feeling is happiness
You weren't quite familiar with it
But with you that is what I feel
Everlasting smiles & constant happiness
Being with you is like having the galaxy within the back of my hand
Being with you is having a garden filled with daisies growing inside of me
And with you there is no rainy days, only bright & shiny ones
And I remember someone asking me "what is the most beautiful piece of art that God has ever made?"
"You," I replied.
But then I took it back
Because calling you beautiful would be an understatement
And ever since there has only been happy days

Happiness starts with letter the 'h'
but I'm most certain that it starts every single time he walks into a room
with that beautiful oh so lovely smile on his face
it starts whenever he strikes up a conversation with me
or when I feel so much excitement for the next day to come for there will be a whole new set of adventures with him
when I have thought of him and I've got this grin on my face that I can't take off, I swear he permanently put his mark into my brain that whenever I had a thought of him it would make my heart turn into a smiley face
and my god the thought of him, the thought of us
makes the word "happiness" into shame
for it's a feeling way deeper than that
a whole lot of feelings that just can't be describe
that no letter in the alphabet could ever spell
magic tricks? spells?
can't ever compete how he lured me into falling for him
the word happiness starts when he remembers the little details about me
knowing me inside out
happiness is when you know you found this bond with someone that you thought would take you a lifetime to find
a bond so strong, the way we connect
is definitely something like no other
happiness is with him
the way he moves, the way he says my name, the way every smile of the seven billion people in this world
is formed by one person, him
because happiness starts with him

You say you like me
But I see you falling for her
You say I make you smile
For she can make you happy
I can make your day
She can make your life
You say I'm great
We both know she's way better
You say I can make you better
But she can change you
You say I'm the newest chapter in your life
Her, she's the **** whole book
You say I'm no nightmare to you
But she's your dream girl
You say you think about me sometimes
But I know she preoccupies your thoughts all the time
You keep saying I'm the one
But really she's your only one

Kiss them once & never let your lips touch theirs
Tell them all these sweet & lovely things, & act like everything you told them was just a lie
Make eye contact with them, but look through their eyes full of regret
See them everyday, pretend they never existed & look right through their souls
Embrace them & then never touch their skin again
Hold their hand & make sure to leave them wanting more
Make all these good memories with them & leave them hanging like the past few months meant nothing to you
Talk to them every day & let them be part of your daily routine, then one day just completely ignore them & never talk to them ever again

Someone asked me what it was like loving you
I said it was like loving a hurricane
You came unexpectedly in my life
I got no warning or signs that you were on your way to me
You were this beautiful spiral disaster
Who was out of control and a complete mess when we met
You were like a carefree child who had no care at all at the world
But you didn't know the damage that you have done
I knew from the start that you were messy and complicated
I guess that's what attracted me to you
I have this thing where I want to fix things and people
But all you did was destroy everything
Everything that I ever put all my effort into
And in the process you destroyed me too
I thought I could be the one to help you
Help you manage your anger and your fears
And bring the sunshine in you
Because I know that you wouldn't be like a hurricane without any reasons or cause behind it
Throughout the time of getting to know you
I've seen your dark side and your past and what had triggered you to be this way
That's when I thought that you needed someone to save you
So I volunteered to be that person
But really I was the one who needed saving
Because you drowned every part of me
Leaving me with emptiness and a broken heart
Then I thought to myself:
Maybe I broke my own heart too
Cause I walked myself right into this situation
When I knew from the beginning this wasn't going to be easy to get through
I should have left it at hello
But it was all my choice to stay and get attached
For I have given you the opportunity too
I just thought you could have proven me wrong
So loving you was like loving a hurricane
It was intense and grimy
You came on too strong in the start
Eventually you were calm
People say hurricanes caused them sadness
I'm pretty sure I felt the same as well

For the weeks you aren't feeling yourself, the hours you spend with anxiety, the months that you've been stressing, the years of hating you, the  days you're just out of the blue, here is a reminder to you:

You are a ******* queen doesn't matter who you are, you've built yourself a castle with all the struggles and pain life has thrown at you. Every time the universe hands you heartache you have manage to stand up no matter how much torture it was, you made yourself stronger than ever before. You started like a seed, then growing into roots and every single time anyone has ever misunderstood and underestimated you, you've grown into this big beautiful tree. So I hope you know you can build an entire forest with your self confidence and self love and once you learn to fully love you and be content with your own being, you wouldn't want to be anyone else but yourself. So remember this you are the sunflower in a garden filled with roses and tulips, you aren't just a fish in the sea you are the whole **** sea. You aren't just a star in the sky, you are the whole galaxy. There's more to you than shining bright and looking lovely, you are capable of being both the moon and the sun. For you work so hard day and night. Only you has truly known the battle of facing your demons, you have stood up and saved yourself from that misery and toxic. So next time you ever feel bad for yourself over things and people who do you no good and does not help you with your mental growth, I hope you know you are royalty and you shouldn't ever have to settle for less than you deserve. Your self worth and value is so important, I hope with all my heart that you don't let people walk all over you. Please take time for yourself and get a break from people once in a while, so you could fully appreciate and adapt to loving yourself and your own company.

I hope by the end of this poem you realized that you've got potential to turn into an amazing human being. I wish one day that your self-esteem is as high as the tallest tower in the world and that your journey will be as smooth as the ocean. It will be a long way to be there but it's a trip of a lifetime, with stories about sorrow and happiness. And no one in the world could ever paint, draw, or write everything you have experienced. Your story and your presence is worth than anything.

You left me, but parts of you are still here
That smile of yours stuck in my head
Your scent is the air I breathe
Twinkling eyes still shine bright in mine
Your embrace all over my skin
The hands that still could fit into my hands
Your lips touching mine permanently yours only
The favorite things you say, is the one that I can only utter
All these things about you, I've got it memorized
Just in case one day you'll leave me
And of course you did

I stare at the moon & the stars
Wondering if you are too
But then I say to myself
You're probably out with someone new
A girl who's got the scent
Of cherry blossoms
And tastes like fresh picked berries

So you're probably gonna distract yourself & try to get the thought of me out of your mind
Trying to concentrate on her but the twinkle in her eyes reminds you of me & so you rush out the door, slap yourself & bang your head on the wall & spit out the words you could never say to me & while you immerse yourself in things I shouldn't even bother to care about I'm here looking at the moon & the stars telling them how much I miss you

And if you do take her out to your favourite place just like you did to me, the moonlight & twinkle of the stars will follow you throughout the night & you'll look over the sky remembering the first time you took me there too, how we shared secrets & stories, & how I almost told you that you were my night sky

So I wish that the light catches your attention instead of her & you'll remember that daisies were my favourite flowers & that you can't get your eyes off the moon

But isn't it funny how empty I am right now because I swear months ago I had the whole galaxy within me  and now I've cried a **** ocean in my body & now I'm drowning
And that volcano inside my chest corrupted when you told me you were leaving and the lavas have
bursted throughout my whole veins
And I had the whole planet within the back of my hand to guide & show you the world
But all that is nothing now because you left & you're never coming back and I'm here a big mess of stormy weather who's gloomy all the time, waiting for a rainbow to come along & see the bright side of things again