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218 · Dec 2019
christmas anxiety
The Red Woman Dec 2019
when christmas came around
the world wrapped me
in wrapping paper
made of anxiety
209 · Dec 2021
I love you
The Red Woman Dec 2021
I love you
and the language is poor
I have thousands of words
but not even all the words on this earth
would be able to express
what you are
to me
you are my friend
- best friend
my home.

How do I explain what you are?
when the men before have been
an unofficial fairytale
disgusting
weird
normal
short
and you..
so much more.

How will I continue without you?
I have tasted the apple from the garden of Eden.
It was never forbidden - but they got seperated
and who can live in the normal world
with the thought of the apple in paradise
that you once had?
For M.
208 · Sep 2019
i am infinite shapes
The Red Woman Sep 2019
they put me in a box
and i put myself out of it
i am infinite shapes
in this infinite world
204 · Dec 2019
say anything
The Red Woman Dec 2019
i told you to say
anything
and you said
'nothing'
and within that
i heard
everything
203 · Dec 2019
black beanie boy
The Red Woman Dec 2019
i thought the black
was a reflection
of his soul
i was wrong
but not really
it wasn’t a soulless black
it was the colour
of all the colours
199 · Apr 2019
Burning heart
The Red Woman Apr 2019
i sit here
with a heart that is
burning
it's burning fiendishly
for acceptance
and love
for happiness
and a future
and you're a carrier of water
just like me
but you don't extinguish my fire
instead
you pour alcohol on it
and then you leave
me
198 · Jul 2019
compliments
The Red Woman Jul 2019
the only compliments
that i will ever
accept
are the ones from
you
the people who see
my stripped down
soul
You guys don’t know what I look like. You only know my words and my thoughts. When you compliment me because of those things, I am willing to listen and accept
196 · Oct 2019
braided hair
The Red Woman Oct 2019
you can braid your hair
so tight that it hurts
but no matter what
some will always
stick out
194 · Jul 2019
outshines your beauty
The Red Woman Jul 2019
the only thing
that could ever outshine
your
outer beauty
is your
inner beauty
186 · Dec 2019
the scars
The Red Woman Dec 2019
the people made the scars
the scars made the people
182 · Oct 2019
numbers and figures
The Red Woman Oct 2019
it would be so
easy
if we were numbers and
figures
but how boring would it be
if we could calculate
each other
177 · Dec 2019
perception
The Red Woman Dec 2019
why do you put a clock in the room
if you really only live by
your own perception
of time
177 · Aug 2019
deep grey void
The Red Woman Aug 2019
i fell into a deep grey void
and i can't get out
there's no sky
nothing but emptiness here
but i can sense the other side
so i scrath the walls until my nails bleed
red
i'll never reach the colours outside
so i'll settle for the red blood that's appearing
in my attempt of trying
175 · Apr 2019
A familiar smell
The Red Woman Apr 2019
you smell like
bad decisions
and cigarettes
171 · Oct 2019
furious
The Red Woman Oct 2019
i get mad
no
i get furious
because of what you've done
no
because of what you haven't done
171 · Dec 2019
butterflies
The Red Woman Dec 2019
the butterflies in my stomach
turn to wasps in my head
168 · Nov 2021
Ocram ache
The Red Woman Nov 2021
every time I see a, or any
part of
you
my heart hurts,
aches

out of sight
out of mind
but i can’t erase you
traces of you
linger
everywhere
my whole existence somehow
intertwined with yours

maybe it’s just that
you have a piece of my
heart
- it’s unbearable

I long for either
someone else,
to take the rest
or for you to take,
what has always
belonged
to you
167 · Oct 2019
i don't sleep enough
The Red Woman Oct 2019
i don’t sleep enough
he wakes me up
in the middle of the night
wanting to discuss what happened
and what might happen
i don’t sleep enough
165 · Oct 2019
oversized shirt
The Red Woman Oct 2019
my oversized shirt
is my own little tent
it’s big enough for the both of us
but i won’t let you in
i’m not playing hide and seek
i’m just playing hide
so leave me be
in this tent of mine
164 · Jul 2019
can’t let you go
The Red Woman Jul 2019
i can’t let you go
but i can’t hold on to you either
162 · Oct 2019
markings by the moon
The Red Woman Oct 2019
the moon marked me
and made me it’s preacher
come out, come out
look at the moon
it shines so bright
in the darkest night
161 · Jul 2019
a single thought of you
The Red Woman Jul 2019
still to this day
when i am unbothered
my mind strolls
to a single thought of
you
160 · Dec 2019
hurts
The Red Woman Dec 2019
it hurts
to feel good
it feels good
to hurt
159 · May 2019
antidepressants
The Red Woman May 2019
they told me to take pills
so that i would get better
now i'm taking pills
and i'm only getting worse
159 · Oct 2019
your bluetooth
The Red Woman Oct 2019
just turn on your bluetooth
and let the devices
connect
159 · Oct 2019
processed
The Red Woman Oct 2019
processed food
and processed people
just don't taste as
raw
and as
real
159 · Dec 2019
i don't care
The Red Woman Dec 2019
i don’t care
if you cut your hair
you’re still there
for me
aren’t you?

i don’t care
if you ruin our garden
we’re still here
for each other
aren’t we?

i don’t care
if you ruin my hair
i’ll still be there
for you
won’t i?

maybe i should care
but then again
i don’t
do i?
156 · Oct 2019
the resemblance
The Red Woman Oct 2019
sweetie do you see
the resemblance between
your heartbeat
and your life
155 · Oct 2019
language barrier
The Red Woman Oct 2019
the language barrier
could never matter
our hearts spoke
their own language
154 · Dec 2019
fiction
The Red Woman Dec 2019
my bond
to fictional characters
come from the lack
of real people
152 · Apr 2019
Falling
The Red Woman Apr 2019
Will I ever fall in love
and be truly happy,
or will I just fall
and be truly lonely.
151 · Oct 2019
brick wall
The Red Woman Oct 2019
i see the cracks in your brick wall
it’s okay
my walls have damage too
151 · Nov 2019
a cup of stones
The Red Woman Nov 2019
from birth
the cup is filled with water
dust will and can land
directly in your cup
but fear not
for it goes to the surface
stones are a whole different thing though
they weigh more
than your water in your cup
they’ll push it out
leaving you
with a cup of stones
and tiny spaces with water
that used to be clean
151 · May 2019
be yours
The Red Woman May 2019
i would give up
the thrills of a
thousand lifetimes
just to be yours
for a single day
149 · Dec 2019
why am i scared
The Red Woman Dec 2019
why am i scared of the dark
when i know that i’m the light
won’t i shine bright enough
or will i scare the dark away
i am so scared
please don’t go
i need my light
and i need my dark
without them
i am nothing
but a shell
148 · Jul 2019
a breaker of
The Red Woman Jul 2019
i aspire to be
a breaker of
standards and norms,
expectations and obligations
so that you can live
in peace and quiet
in harmony and happiness
but to do so
i must first
break my own
148 · Apr 2019
Darkness
The Red Woman Apr 2019
i love darkness

you can't see me;
or
i can't see myself

in darkness i am finally
okay
146 · Oct 2019
your truth
The Red Woman Oct 2019
you have spoken your truth
now listen to mine
146 · Jun 2019
a change in life
The Red Woman Jun 2019
i finally
want to
move on
146 · Aug 2019
a void
The Red Woman Aug 2019
i want to feel
i want to feel it all
but i dont feel
i kind of fall
but not into love
i fall into a void
of self pity and hate
146 · Dec 2019
the hallway
The Red Woman Dec 2019
the hallway seems so dark
way too dark for me
i need to pass through
to reach the next door
but it’s so dark
so so dark
145 · May 2019
all that you lost
The Red Woman May 2019
i'm gonna show you
maybe not today
but one day
i'll show you everything that
you lost
when you treated me
as if i was nothing
a stranger on the street
all this beauty
all this fire
will be spent on
someone else
and i hope your heart crumbles
when you see
everything that you
pushed away
143 · Oct 2019
saying of the eyes
The Red Woman Oct 2019
they say
that you'll drown
in the blue eyes
they say
that you'll get lost
in the green eyes
and they say
that you'll be suffocated
in the brown eyes

but my dear
you might also
swim
in the cleanest sea
you might also
breath
the purest air
and you might also
find
a hidden treasure
143 · Dec 2019
i hear you in the silence
The Red Woman Dec 2019
i picked up the phone
just to hear nothing
but within nothing
i heard your voice
- you chose to be nothing
142 · Jul 2019
my poetry
The Red Woman Jul 2019
my poetry has suddenly changed from
dark and depressing
to
cheerful and happy
no difference has been made
except for you
141 · Apr 2019
Silence
The Red Woman Apr 2019
silence that is loud
drowns out everything else
that is present
139 · May 2019
i want to feel your love
The Red Woman May 2019
i want to feel your love
like rain falling down
but the only thing i'm feeling
is sadness
falling down as teardrops
139 · Apr 2019
Comfortable misery
The Red Woman Apr 2019
after all this time
that i have spent
being miserable
i have begun
to find it
comforting

it's a bit like stockholm syndrome
in the beginning
i hated my misery
but now
after all these years
i long for it
and miss it when it's gone

i am used to it, you see
i grew up in it
and that's quite sad
a sad comfortable misery
trying to put my depression into words
138 · Apr 2020
bhuuff
The Red Woman Apr 2020
imagine
writing a book
bhuuff
138 · Dec 2019
generation z
The Red Woman Dec 2019
i keep this love
in a phone case
that’s how we do it today
is it not?
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