and maybe the sun can heal me today

at least , for that , is what i pray

for a bit of pain to melt away

but if the sun cannot erase my pain

then maybe, maybe the rain.

tread onward , bruised butterfly like you have times before.

like the ocean’s waves you ebb and flow , you flutter never falter.

golden strings of sunlight stream into your window and with spring you watch yourself begin again.

i busy myself i busy my hands i keep moving keep doing don’t stop to breathe don’t stop to sleep don’t stop to think because in every pause - is you. you fill empty rooms you fill empty minds and you fill the empty heart of mine you left to rot and thoughts of you ensnare me
caged in by the love i gave that i thought protected me instead it betrays and mocks.

a choice you make
a state you’re in
a feeling you have
a feeling you think you are receiving
a person that left
a bond that was cut
a heart that was crushed
and a broken girl left over.

-love/heartbreak

like the stubble popping out on my legs i emerge from something. like a once dying plant now healed i fall then rise. like an ocean's wave i ebb and flow. ebb and flow out of different identities- a sense of self left to rediscover. eighteen, teen queen, a bold new scene. a new train to a new town.

I've been thinking about lips and mouths and how vulnerable they become once we fall in love.

sometimes in the wind vortex of my mind I find that things are going surprisingly okay and it makes me uncomfortable because aren't I supposed to be sad? I have taken on depression as a part of my identity and when I am happy I don't feel like myself one bit.