what does
your love look like?

i suspect
you don't
even know

but
don't you want to?

time taken
exploring the newness
of each other
turns into
settling into
the awe
and wonder
of us

the unafraid
are people like
me
who can see past
what others see

my soulmates
here
i find
those who tire
of the grind

the status quo
is what we
tried
but
spirits inside
won't be
denied

for moments
or even seconds
we crave
the times
we deny the world
of a slave

you
contradicted
our love

with
your look

your love is beautiful
(in theory)

our union
is magical
(in theory)

this love
will
last forever
(in theory)

the rhythm
of peaceful breathing
this calm
this solace
we cultivated
together

my ultimate betrayal
to the one i love
is pushing him away

why does it feel
like i can see you better
with my eyes closed?

and if
i admit it
am i
weak
because
i need
you?

this
is not
logical

i know

but
this is
my fear

my disgust
distaste for you
eclipses
everything else

Stacks of pencils
Lined the shores
But no one could write with them

They used all their words
And cut off their tongues

How will they tell me

Chop it all off I said
Strand by strand
Each pain goes away
And comes back
It never works, **** I always thought it did

You once tried to kiss me
In your living room
I cut off your head
And that chance didn’t i

I burned that bridge
And now I want to cross it!

Come find the string
That holds us together
I never saw it
I even tried to gnaw it off

I bet if you pull it
We might end up in the same place
Sing some songs for me
Put your voice in my ears

Tell me what you really feel
Because I know you’re lying

when does
an internal rebellion
become
an external one?

when does
bravery
overcome
fear?

when does
the truth of my heart
decide
the words in my mouth?

understanding
emotions
through
touch

i stopped using the map
a long time ago

and even though
sometimes i feel lost

with you
i'm always found

i see you cherish
i feel you loving

these things give me hope

for my tiny rebel heart

my
little
world

is a deep
chasm

dive
to the bottom
with me

i don't
care
if
we crash

woke up
in a sea of calm
yesterday's gloom is gone

warm sunlight
pulls me out
from hiding

for a moment
i can forget
my aching heart

O divine lover
heart liberator
with magic in your eyes
and the purest of hearts

i don't deserve you

but i love you

3 years ago
i cried on a bathroom floor

(that was the first time i cheated on you)

my freedom
scared me
but

now
it sustains me

today i feel you
this magic love
resonates like bass
deep in my chest
presses gently on my heart
a reminder
we are here
we are alive
we are love

don't you see?
me?
are you listening

i cannot be me
until you recognize

all.the.things
in life
are calling

am i out of line?

why haven't you knocked

on
my
door

here's the key
i'll leave it out
underneath the dirt

wind blows it all away

passion is my middle name
you must have none

are you that scared

of what i cannot see

must i live these years
identically

repetition
breaks my heart

i had the notion
that you were not the same

can you feel this rhythm

it leaves my hands
and ventures out
into the unknown

catch it while you can

life and time are allies

sometimes they love the thorns

you did your part
and then let me go

only problem is
i'm still holding on

love born
in fire

burns away
all doubt

of course
i did

and

of course
i always
will

you took my screaming heart
into your gentle hands
and then
all was quiet

memories
and
daydreams

both like smoke
elusive
and fading

my heart
always grasping
for more

will our story
be told
in a dream
or a future memory?

is one
more real
than the other?

so much easier
to catch something
than to let it go

(letting go is inevitable)

the weight
of my mind
feels heavy
these days

i really did think
for once
my hope would turn into
reality

real things
don't last

nothing.
lasts.

you're not here
we aren't anything
this isn't real
i'm not your problem

hope
disappointment
and hope again
always hope again

you thought i was going to work
but i went north instead

driving fast around the curves
until the road's end

i have to get to the top
to the highest point

it's the farthest i can get from you
and the closest to the sky

maybe the wind will just
******* away

this sadness
grew today

the wringing
the tension

a black hole
reducing me
to nothing

my body is scared
of something
my mind
doesn't yet know

Some people have this
Magnet affection
Thing
They can’t stop from
Pawing
You

They have this
Insatiable
Lust
Of flesh
And contact
And smells
And whispers

It’s like the most
Velvet
Heaven
Muted
Desires
Like
Jazz

each time i find the strength
to release this stress
it comes back to grip me
even tighter

none of this
is real
until
you make it real

fragmented
but free

a fresh step
up a lonely hill

yea, it's scary
but
i'm free

with every whispered word
every glance

you transform me

i am watching myself
bloom

i am
your flower

timing is
never wrong

just have to
figure out
why
it's right

i’m lying
everyday
to keep
us together

you soften me
with calm
you smooth my roughness
with ease

heal me,
love

no one knows
where i am
right now
except you

i don't think i can do this.

deep breaths.

he's making it hard not to hate him
he doesn't even see me
he is a stranger now
his eyes are dead

deep breaths.

he makes me
scream
cry
hate

he is turning me
against myself

deep breaths.

i can get through
i can resist
i can keep aiming high

i can achieve
my happiness

deep breaths.

choices
building
contradictions
to
your
heart

devastation
doesn’t quite say how deep
this shattering
of my life
is

my tolerance
for soul-crushing
is wearing
very thin

you think
your irreverence
makes you authentic

actually
it makes you
stupid

how could we
walk away
from
a kiss
like that?

people are starting to notice
our hidden love

renewing love
like a fountain
overflowing
over
and over

it doesn't work anymore

words with no meaning
hollow smiles

actions of empty hearts

i tolerate
i cope

but
i have no more love