daily distractions
over time
are forcing a fade
of my focus
on you

however
against
my will

i know what you look like
when you’re kissing me
with your eyes closed tight
because
I peeked

how many times
did i push you away
     (but i didn't mean it)
and how many times
did you come back anyway

imperfect self
demands
perfect love

sounds of rain
distinguishable drops
surround us
huddled inside,
sounds of passion
feeling hidden
invisible
free

doing what i can
to hear you
feel you
pull you in

just
give in

i want
your actions
to fulfill
my dreams

i guess
i'll keep looking
for you-shaped things
to fill this you-shaped hole

but

heart
knows
the truth

that

i'll never find
another
you

did you ever
fall in love
when
you weren’t
supposed to?

the most
authentic
path
answers to
no one
other than
the one

how could we
walk away
from
a kiss
like that?

when you look at me
i become
a shooting star
sailing across the sky
soaring
away
spreading our light
everywhere

i enjoyed the day
despite you
and certainly not
because of you

you don't want to say it
but i do

an expression of me, of us
words that carry feeling
depth
importance

words that sing
from my heart to yours

when you kiss me
like
desperately pulling in an anchor
i’m ready
to drift away
with you

i know
you
were here

i can't prove it
but
i felt you
near

fragmented
but free

a fresh step
up a lonely hill

yea, it's scary
but
i'm free

choices
building
contradictions
to
your
heart

my collection
gems
i have them hidden
i hold them dear

precious time

a kiss
your face
our laughs

overflowing
like
me

you give me
everything i need
to be free

how can i have
made this vow
that
(supposedly)
lasts a lifetime

yet

i had no idea
what i was
agreeing to

devastation
doesn’t quite say how deep
this shattering
of my life
is

to you
this
is already
planned out

it's everything
we expected
it's a mimicking
of the same scene
over
and
over
until
it's just a word now
without any meaning
only the boring context
we built around ourselves

well i reject
your worn path
that goes blindly to the grave
your hollow words
that didn't mean anything
until
someone else
said them to me

now
i know
just how empty
we are

the anger
turned heavy

this morning
waves
of sadness

are drowning me

how many times
are you
going to leave

without
saying
goodbye?

all of the possibilities
tied to that hope
floated away
with it

how did i put
any trust
in you?

and
why did i let you
influence
what
i do?

your words
and
actions
were not
equally
true

so
.
goodbye
to
you


p. s.

(i hope
the void
brings someone
new)

i don't think
my emotions are fair
to you
but
i don't plan on
rightsizing

if
you're not
going to jump
into the fire
with me

if
you don't feel
this burning

if
it doesn't eat you up

if
i'm not enough


then
please
go
away

my fire heart
will
always
win

my heart is
a full moon

can you feel me
shining
on you?

all of the people
buzzing
the loneliness
deafening

i'm descending
to the depths
of doubt

stroking your ego
is the work
of a weak woman

i'm waiting
for you to slow down
this seems to cause
a torrential downpour
persistent
in strength
defying
my wish

what are you going to say
when
she finds out?

hope lost now
is strength
for the future

your love
is my reset button

you make me feel
lonely
even when i'm with you

my questions
emerge
burn away
the fog

the mystery
of our future

beauty in uncertainty
but
peace
in understanding

i don't know
what i want

but
i know
how i want to feel

unexplained
magnetism

the joy
in possibility

freedom
of the future

more
moments with you

soon

echo love
fades
repeats
comforts
disappears

i felt you
last night

your touch
calmed
me

sad truths
waiting
in plain sight

finally
sink in

with so little
time left

and so many
stones left to turn

this journey
seems
to extend

beyond
my understanding

along
an infinite road

beneath
countless moons

loves
hates
deaths
fates

you have
no power
over me now
or ever

this
immense love
burns only for you

is also
the reason why
i have to
say
goodbye

you know
the limitations
you see
in your life
are created
by
you

your face
against mine
heart races
faster than my mind

beautiful you

an easy kiss
a hard goodbye