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On the surface I am calm,cool,and collected
I speak with compassion and reasoning
never from emotion
always looking to defuse useless arguments  
and tense situations

I seldom loose my control

But inside I cant help imagining
smashing everything around me
saying everything that came to mind
leaving this pent up aggression behind

I have no release
I just want to feel free

I hate having to be so civilized
but my mind doesnt allow me to bend
I want to regress and throw every bit
of wisdom out the door

To start to explore my darker side

but I cant and I cant figure out why..
I knew a man once
who saved me from destruction
He had this crazy way about him
Within his presence you couldn't help
but feel alive

He was generous
and proactive
His salvation was achieved
through helping others

He had a savings account
in which he'd drop his change
and soon he'd accumulated
so many wonderful things

But none of these things could be found
in his home for they were nothing of material
many times in life he'd been broken down on
the side of the road

A feeling I believe we've all had a chance
to know
and he vowed from then and still today
if he witnessed this event he
wouldnt walk away

Through bankruptcy he kept this account
Refusing to help himself
and whom ever found themselves broken
down were surely lucky when he came around

Generousity for him was a necessity
Helping others was for his own benefit
because giving others hope
meant the world to him
No doubt thats money well spent
The gaze feels suited under reflection,
catfish know better
than the bullfrogs haranguing it alone -
Midnight's rupture
the star Edith blazed her Gospel voice
across the Phoenix Star,
those podagra Svengalis mill
perpetually serenading this their dollar sign,
due graciousness lasts as long as the
peyote nostrums
parfum de la maison
the cryptic egg is the custodian
the egg is greater than the seed
the seed is the dynastic interpretation
The world is quiet, up here by the sky. The wind lingers, filling my nostrils with the smell of the mountain. The clouds wrap around me caging me in a thick white box. The cold misty air brushes over my bare skin sending shivers through me. The trees wave me to come closer and shade me from the whipping air. But I don’t go. The sudden gusts lift me off my feet and sway me back and forth like a feather in the breeze. The grass dances, brushing against its self, humming, singing. The stream slithers through the soft rocks crumpling as it brushes the earth. The rain starts to play as it runs through the field.  Then the dark falls on the mountain, and the moon blazes in the night, lighting up the stars. And the world is quiet, up here by the sky.
 Nov 2012 wandabitch
Nik Bland
There is some type of earthly heaven that I've proceeded to find
That seems to show itself to me each time that you pass by
Whether it be the holy glow from the skin which this sun does grace
Or the simple fact that you send me to unknown heights with the smile on your face
And in my search for this earthly heaven, I've found you are the key
From your mouth I hear the sound of the angel's symphonies
I see the light unmatched in sheen that shines brighter than the skies
I search and easily find the gates of gold whenever you look me in the eyes
And those angels fly in and out of my head as I'm mesmerized by this
I long for heaven, I long for it so, give it to me in your kiss
My tongue is still, my ears hear only you, but my eye, oh, my eyes are vigilant
Seeing what wonder you allow me to see before my inevitable descent
And with that passing, you're gone again and heaven is out of my reach
Leaving me stumbling in this world with whatever lesson it falied to teach
I know this emptiness, this curiosity, this longing will stay until you return
The place where your hand touched my arms burns for you all the more
I fall and the earth meets me, pushing the breath from my lungs
Making my mind come to the conclusion as reality's bell has been rung
And so I find my search shall continue until I find you again
And with each unsleeping moment in me, I will wait for you 'round the bend
And the words of wisdom creep in my mind and oh what truths they tell
For in finding heaven on earth and losing it, I draw closer to hell
He keeps writing,
Keeps trying, believing
That he stands a chance.
Experimenting, experimenting.
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