Wandering mind, wandering heart,
A wandering star secretly falling apart.
My light shines brightly in the dark abyss
Looking for a destination, less hit more miss.
That’s a commonality.
People look at me but don’t really see.
They don’t know who I really am.
Outside, they see a fierce lion, inside merely a lamb.
Big smile on my face,
But inside a simple disgrace.
I joke and I tease
Putting on a front just to please.
I have no idea where I am going,
But I am afraid of anyone knowing.
Knowing the pain I keep inside.
Knowing the fear I try to hide.
The fear of being alone
Of being a cat lady fully grown.
Of no one to share life with
And love being merely a myth.
Every night I wonder if he’s out there,
That kind, silly boy with soft hair.
Someone to look at me and smile
Who holds my hand and asks me to stay awhile.
But where is this boy that I seek?
Will he be here today, tomorrow, next week?
Because every night he appears in my dreams
And he wants to meet me too or so it seems.
I am afraid to rely on boys for happiness,
But I still long for that one true kiss.
God will bring him to me so He swears.
That kind, sweet boy whom I will refuse to share.