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It's not something so easy to get,
Waiting for a reply,
Not wanting to have your name the last two times,
So you lie,
And send  another,
Underanalyzing to overanalyze
But you're pressuring too much,
So grab a crutch,
And ask a someone close,
Theyll ask you,
Are you in the gittyness or the get over it my friend?

You look at 'em funny,
And it's not because you don't have no money,
Because you've never had money to change your mind,
It's not the gain grin or drop of a smile,
Or a laugh that sounds different,
Like moving in a different apartment,
That's in the same building,
Are you in the gittyness, or the get over it?

There's no answer,
No answer I know anyhow,
Just depends on which side of the road you think you're standing on
>_>
I first met God when from me he bummed a cigarette,
I asked him how I can win this bet,
and to let go of her and be ok,
he asked which girl with a smile in a way,
I said all of them because I just want to hear all of them say,
you were alright,
he took a drag and said we had met before,
when I was again in Florida I was feeling this down and poor,
we had a drink,
you asked what this life was all about,
and with a smile with shades of a pout,
I told you that only you could figure that out,
his cigarette was done and so was mine,
I asked again if this was just a waiting line,
or just a road covered with dust,
he flicked it and said that I always will have my lust,
for the future,
for the present,
for the past,
and I may feel like in the line I am last,
but really there is no line or road,
and this isnt a secret code,
he said I was ok,
then asked for another cigarette.
I stare at camera and say my final signoff,
"it's been wonderful America, and we'll chat tomorrow night"
30 years and a lot of fight,
I got to this point,
but I question why did I really want to read the news,
to show people different views?
but I'm not the one writing the script,
I guess I was always a pretty face,
and a deep voice,
why didn't I make the choice?
where I could show what really matters,
it's my final sign off,
and my integrity and local stardom may fade,
but it is ok,
with all the money I have made.
"Outside fat snowflakes are falling on slanted roofs"
an end of early times whiskey,
with a name that is too perfect,
is at its last shot,
my last cigarette in hand,
I take my time to enjoy both.
The sun is rising.
Not much of a pros guy, but lets see how it works :)
He walks down a street in the teenage wasteland,
Listening to a no named band,
Everyone loves,
A cold smile and watered eyes,
The wind is showing him the way,
He feels an empty pack of cigarettes and feels their comforting lies,
And tries to keep ahead of his own,
He feels the wind blown,
In his hoodie and his hair,
So he forces to stare,
At oncoming cars and pries into their life,
A young couple laughing that cuts through the cold like a dulled knife.

She cant believe she’s here,
But amidst the guilt and fear,
He grabs her hand,
And feels it all blow away like sand,
She starts to laugh,
As he does in their little car,
A moment she cant let go,
So she holds his larger than life hand,
Laughing with the band, laughing with the music,
She sees a man walking down the street in the snow,
And once again she is sick.
She leans her head against the window and looks at an old man in the next car.

Memories fading but always the more clear,
There used to be a swingset at that park shaped like a deer,
We had been there with the kids,
Smiling like the young couple in the car next to me,
They were laughing a second ago,
But like all good memories and shows, I suppose too that had to go,
Shake it away old man like you can do so well,
Its not their fault you’re living in a museum hell.
A man walking down the street smiles at me,
Or is that just what I wanted to see?

He realizes who she is,
From an old life,
Turning his head he sees an old man stare him down so he shoots a smile,
No one notices and the snow is beginning to make things cold and wet,
He says he should go home he bets,
And as the ghost stops laughing and puts her head on the glass in front of him,
The prideful son,
Takes over and he makes a left,
It wasn’t her besides you were the theft,
That took her for granted in everyway,
Some words come out and he hears himself say,
Ill just go this way.

Her head is making the glass fog around as it starts to go numb,
So she lifts it off the glass and stares at the fog,
Draws a cartoon dog,
And smiles in admiration of her work,
It starts to disappear,
And again she starts to feel the fear,
Fear he will leave her again,
Fear she will leave him to do protectin’
Our lives are not our own,
Like changing songs on the radio,
Everyone has a time when they need to go,
He’s rubbing her hand with his thumb to ease the anxiety.
The light turns green.

Cowardice.
He feels it worse than the cold,
He says he should pull out his phone and make a call,
But hes not that bold,
She looked happy anyway,
They deserve to be this way,
Like a radio station changing’ a song,
This life forever too short always feeling long,
He punches the walk button to make it go quicker,
As if he could outrun her.

My muesum is too crrouded with ghosts,
I walk into it too often to make made up toasts,
“may the Gods keep the wolves in the hills and the women in our beds!”
Ill exclaim and hold up a glass to the shadows,
A tar black hand looses bit of shadow on me as it says it loves me,
Venom.
The shadow keeps it hand on it till I shake out of the museum,
A car honking and a *******, yeah I can see them,
The light is green.

Was it a shade?
She turns up the music to drown her thoughts,
But it turns back to late nights on his ****** moth eaten cots,
Forces it to the man by her side,
He hasn’t lied,
He has only made her feel like it on the night she cried,
The man next to her is quiet,
But that happens after you make the music hurt,
That was my fault in the end,
Always is.
“I’m sorry.”
She reaches her phone and types the words but doesn’t hit send,
Changes it some new word blend.


Where to go when all there is snow?
And no money to show,
Or else he’d have spent it on more smokes,
The snow soaks,
Need to follow my feet,
And keep walking down the street,
Anywhere is fine to get the sublime,
To feel warm and at home,
Again he tries to pull out his phone,
But the words slink and slide on his mind,
“I’ll be fine.”
He should delete that ******* text.
First attempt at a long poem, hopefully add more but would love to have feedback on if I should or scrap it and start a new one
Hello jealousy,
why are you calling me so profusely?
I needed to ask how are things,
you cant let me just stay away?
you cant deny my timings,
well now things are different and I said goodbye with better rhymings?
I have someone new now,
how?
we both cant move on so just admit I am tall, dark, and handsome,
no answer and she is taking away the fun,
is he here for you in the end?
yes, with a smile in her voice, he's my new boyfriend.
I tell her I'll say something sweet but the words dont come,
a beautiful end of with a dial tone sun,
it tastes bitter sweet,
yet blinding and no simple feat,
I text her saying needing her to know she will be fine,
no response,
like the first time a butterfly came and said hello,
The feeling wont go.
so yes I have to point oot the obvious, I was talking to a girl and she is my jealousy because of the new boyfriend...I read the first line and it just seemed like I was talking with myself..
Oh Jacob, where did you go?
Smiling with your madness,
Of...wait, he wonders where'd his veins go!?
They had ran of to another part of his mind,
One he didn't understand very well,
And felt haunted going there,
Because of the attic from hell,
Oh Jacob, where'd you go?
He heard it,
But the corner vortex has a beautiful hum,
And the desperation of his frantic glances for fun,
He doesn't know whether to talk back or just...
Oh lord the clocks are ticking backwards and everyone is acting like it's a pumpkin patch they never wanted to visit,
He must let everyone know!
He says, "What's the point of shoveling snow?!"
While living in a desert,
Oh Jacob, where'd you go
I'd like to know dear reader, where did he go? I'd like to come back and edit this one....but hey it's still badass!
It's snowing,
And the blood is pumping and flowing,
How did I get here?
Was it due to anger, or fear?
I just remember a card game,
And a bad hangover,
There's a man preaching and I can't see,
I guess this is perfect for me,
I asked for a shot,
But they gave me a bottle,
I asked to see the mountains,
And they poured the whiskey down my throat,
And cut eye holes,
I can't complain but still called them goats,
Or *******,
It's gotten blurry,
The snow kicks up in a flurry,
Guess we all got that time,
But no one has got a watch,
Life always ends with a knot,
Of things we did and should have not,
The sun breaks as twilight sets in behind the mountains,
As if God himself is pulling up a chair,
And taking a seat,
The ground opens up beneath my feet.
And it all fades to black,
With the sound of a snap.
"Where you are now I once was,
Where I am now you shall be."
Hey kid,
I remember you from a year ago, Not knowing where you're going to go, Watching the snow, Drift down from the loading docks, And staring counting down time on clocks, Im telling you to not rush, but that's all you want to do, And its not till you are on the edge staring at the blue, Drinking way more than one or two, You almost will die more times than you'd like, And you have dreams every night aboot you're faceless wife. Don't worry kid, its the worst year of you life, But you make it through, Like a champion, you stand gallantly with armor made of everything that tried to **** you, You'll realize you're parents deserve better, Even though they will still say, "you're the best thing that has happened to me son." in their letters. You're friends are the strongest crop you know, And all you'll want to do is show, Everything that they did was not all for nigh, So hold your head up high, Hey kid, I remember you from a year ago, And I want you to know, Everything will be fine.
Hey kid,
keep your chin up and head held high,
for this is the year you realize a dream,
of being a normal person and you will know what I mean,
appreciate the somewhere over a rainbow,
and hold onto the truths you thought were long gone,
you are a hard worker with a bad business plan,
but cherish the two people that will always be your biggest fans,
dont discount the wisdom of mom and dad,
but remember you are allowed to mistakes and adventures,
that they (specially mom) might see as bad,
get drunk with Driven and appreciate every set list you play,
remember to appreciate the day,
and that paradise comes too slow and is gone too fast,
appreciate amount of times you tell yourself,
you saw the most beautiful girl, as an hourly toast,
remember your experiences with random poets that cant rhyme for ****,
and singers that told you that your writing is too good to quit,
hold onto the walks on the phone,
getting to remember every graffiti and every drain,
remember the taste of fear and the rain,
tell a transvestite they are cute without realizing what you are saying,
and remember that your last bar tab means you CAN't leave withoot paying,
even though you do(not on purpose),
remember to smile at every hobo,
and never forget the words to "Sweet Caroline",
Keep in mind how much your friends mean to you,
regardless if it is Jernastos or Driven,
but even your Hello Poetry stalker too,
rejoice in the fact you will know what it feels like to be in love again,
even if it something that doesnt work out in the end,
cherish the nights she made you feel like age never existed,
and how you woke up every morning with a craving in your heart,
you had to force reboot and restart,
feel the sand between your fingers,
and the burgers on your tounge,
the taste only a Hawaiian PalMal can bring,
but most of all,
dont forget to sing,
sing loudly,
sing loudly when no one is around,
sing loudly when there is a little light you found,
take pictures with strangers,
and put yourself in very new dangers,
you are doing fine kid,
so keep your head up and smile,
because in a short while,
you will be in and out of a paradise,
writing a poem to "Somewhere over the rainbow"
smiling too big,
because you know
that you were the kid you were writing to,
a year ago.
Happy Birthday James.
She told me to go away,
when all I wanted was to have her stay,
to run is easy,
and I'll take her heartbreak,
as long as I have a stake,
in hher life and her heart,
but she ran from the start,
and I'm just staying at still.
I tried.
I saw her in an open field,
a stick sword I saw her wield,
screaming and waving the stick around,
but there was no sound,
just a rustling of leaves in the wind,
that's when her eyes shot like a pin,
at mine,
and she smiled so shyly, so fine,
I was awkward and fell when I started towards her,
the wind stopped and electricity started to stir,
I asked her if we could someday be in love in French,
she smiled shyly again and punched my arm,
and called me a maiden *****,
I picked up a stick and told her to duel,
for the fire was getting fuel,
she threw down her stick,
and I went for a kiss but my nose she decided to lick,
staring with an awkward smile she pushed my cheeks,
and kissed me as I could feel my heart peaks,
awkward and my hand started to sweat,
I awoke with the feeling of winning a bet,
I will wait till tonight,
because you may not be real or in sight,
but that just means I havnt met you yet.
I have dreams of my Naru some nights, I can never see her face but I know she's there
She's waking up, and already in his head,
Lucidly in hers as I go to bed,
a different world apart,
it's cold and her coffee is hot,
it's hot and he cant bring his Polar Pop back,
from the mini mart,
both dancing to obscure tunes of knowledge,
both hanging onto,
but jumping off incredible ledges,
to what?
Whatever everyone seems to have so whatever figured out,
she reveals her smiles through a new different colored pout,
and he hides his smiles in words,
that get jumbled in your jaw,
they can only see what they saw,
in text messages and telephone towers,
as if being worlds apart gave them super powers,
she was dead living,
he was living dead,
worlds apart,
waking and going to bed.
Read it, She says with sly eyes and a caring voice, There is my choice, Be fine, pack your briefcase, hat, and pen, There is never a place to go, only a when, Don't walk up to the house and knock, You'll see only the girl with saddness in her little walk, You have choice, put away the pen, walk away with prideful sin, And never come back, But your tied to her heart and the type, So sit down and see what you write, But there is nothing. You stand in the doorway of other people's memories, Watching them sing and close your fist at the sight of weak knees, Grit your teeth and curse inside, But never let them see you cry, Old man you have too much pride, Take your notes and move onto the next room, Things I'll never do, always and forever, Stare with trivial eyes at a place I thought I had hidden. This is madness.
Think of her as the pills go down the hatch, ask for a cigarette and strike the match, think of her as take a drag, try to hide that your mad, mad at you and yourself, take a drag think of her and cry over your degrading health, breed the pity, and walk with a crutch, old man you can't take much, before you wind up here, stare at dying the dying cigarette with fear, two more doesn't matter, when its all that's left.
Follow the commas and get the breaks
I'm outside of nowhere,
Knocking on door,
You're going to ask what's in store?
But I couldn't tell you,
It's white, but glows black and blue,
with nothing holding it,
But still standing like it is a good fit,
I knock again,
Like a writer with a pen,
I feel like I will be happy once I go in,
But nervous because of how it might end,
Feeling a deep breath escape,
It opens.
Written sleepily on a bus.
When did I become so bitter?
Used to be the guy seeing a bag and pick up the litter,
now I watch it blow by,
less of a smile and more of a sigh,
my kid, my teenage self would never want to be this guy,
singing loudly used to be a habit,
now I just write sad poems on a laptop or tablet,
not the type you come to,
because all my colors are gone cept for blue,
what happened to you?
when did I become so sad?
instead of always seeing good,
now its just all bad,
not optimistic nor real,
just writing to make me feel,
but it doesnt help like i need it,
I used to finish a poem and sigh off the ****,
but now I'm consumed bit by bit,
by this world,
by my life,
by my past,
used to smile while finishing last,
dreaming was a hobby and I would want to sleep,
now I run away from dreams and stay awake till the alarm goes beep
when did I get so bitter?
used to take care of drunk friends like a sitter,
now the days are gone and I'm drinking alone,
waiting by the phone,
but not answering the call,
I used to see girls and feel my heart stall,
and smile when they looked my way,
now their eyes look and say,
what happened to you?
Why am I so bitter?
Just oot of it tonight I guess.
Picturing her is tough,
you'd think it'd be easier,
when I dream of her enough,
she's got brown hair with a past that's a little rough,
I mean relatability,
is on the key ring of comfortability,
a good smile,
and the first to kiss or say "I love you" first every once in a while,
a plus if she can write,
and not feel ashamed to sometimes be the first to apologize after a fight,
she's someone not looking to be found,
healthy and (superficially) not super round,
but can eat quesadilla's and chocolate cake in bed,
who listens,
but also knows what needs to be said,
a girl who giggles & smiles at my cheeesyness,
and says that it's ok that my life is a mess,
she makes love instead of *******,
(sometimes a good **** is what we need though)
Knows how to get me oot of my head,
and is self reliant,
but also has trouble watching me leave,
she'll be fine with dancing/singing/kissing me in the rain,
and know all the right words and moves to drive me insane,
thick hair like a mane,
and doesnt care if I'm poor or have fame,
she'll appreciate my crazy music,
and will take care of me when I'm being a ****** when I'm sick,
who wants kids and that awesomely typical house,
she'll be loving and empathetic,
Loving Bob Dylan and dogs,
shorter than I is a must, and know's how to be the sun in my times of fogs,
adventuring but doesnt mind  a good netflix and chill,
her eye's will be revealing,
with every look my heart she'll be stealing,
smooth sexiness withoot the need to be based on touch and feeling,
kissable lips,
grab worthy hips,
a girl I could laugh with for the rest of my life,
an honest wife.

I'll dream of her with a certain notoriety,
hoping I find her,
after a year of sobriety.
My sponsor reminded me that I need to bring all these qualities to a relationship too, so it's closer to the perfect relationship?
I have dreams where I'm punching a wall, But my hands don't hurt and there's no hole at all, I'll punch and no one will hear, I punch, but only feel a greater fear, No blood or noise, So I pull back with poise and strike again and again, But nothing but a bent wrist and a straighshoot of sadness lingers in the air, My hands are fine and so is the wall, the window and the door, They aren't cut or hurt, only my pride bruised on the floor, I can't have this dream anymore
I have dreams where I'm punching a wall, But my hands don't hurt and there's no hole at all, I'll punch and no one will hear, I punch, but only feel a greater fear, No blood or noise, So I pull back with poise and strike again and again, But nothing but a bent wrist and a straighshoot of sadness lingers in the air, My hands are fine and so is the wall, the window and the door, They aren't cut or hurt, only my pride bruised on the floor, I can't have this dream anymore
(I end this one similar to my previous which kinda annoys me, but ***** it, its my writing right?)

She said its fine,
And I smiled at the line, A dance with the past, That is going to last, I can feel it and crave it, But I'm terrible at the talking bit, Hopefully she can see past my awkwardness, And my inability to not stammer, Because in my head my heart starts to pound like a hammer, So I lock these in my souls slammer, Because I hear her laugh and smile, and take what I can for a sign, That its all going to be fine.
It hurt,
But only here and there with a spurt,
I never hear her footsteps,
And question if she's really gone,
Appearing ghost like when she first appears,
With musicless skin tones and melodramatic tears,
She shares her fears and wants,
Steals kisses with under the breathe taunts,
Then she walks away with no footsteps,
Months and years blur into a painting of a portrait that has changed painters with completely different ideals,
With each painter a random time,
As she returns,
With more scars that follow on her in painted burns,
Everything is new,
But the words have a different ring to them, everytime,
Taking more but leaving with less,
When she leaves I hear no footsteps,
It hurts a little.
It's a night in paradise,
while I contemplate sleep knowing it would be wise,
but like an alcoholic with nothing else on his mind,
every thought ends up being you I find,
a day would be suffice,
a night would be greater than nice,
I want to tell you I need you in the worst way,
and I do when you wake up everyday,
but the miles seem to get just that much longer with every moment,
and there maybe nothing I can do aboot it,
like the years that separate yet fit,
so I will sit in paradise and think of your little texan town,
and realize with a smile with shades of a frown,
that maybe a couch and a sleepy smile maybe tough,
to make me realize it will always be enough,
so smile.
yeah, I'm kinda still in that mood...sorry again for not keeping up with you dear readers...and I will! (even though I know I have failed at that before >.>)
Ive seen the end, a  beautiful end to rival summer, transforming into fall, a heart stall, as another word is said, I fall and smile to the dance of the dead, I don't fear what may come, because every moon has a sun, a dance with dragons, and a simple song gone with the wagons, I don't fear what you surmise, because even with doomsday there is still a beautiful sunrise, don't be scared of what may come, because every moon needs a sun, I'm scared I might be trying, and with your smile I'm scared you are losing, there are many to say they loved me and I attempting to return the favor but will never do, just know as friends or less...ill never forget or leave ..
The innocence of a sunrise,
a dance in the middle of the street,
putting on pjs and getting some early morning fries,
a simple love, a love thats new,
watching the sunrise, and staring at the sky while swinging and tasting the blue,
hands getting sweaty,
and nights are too long,
there is no such thing as a sad song,
and if there is, its to remind you what you have left behind,
clouded mind,
full of future times
that always seem so golden
while the past seems to fade away,
a butterfly in the tummy,
its forcing its way through,
a simple love, a love that's new.

It's long past,
and the love wasnt the last,
it was cute and fun,
that made me like everything a little bit better and brighter, including the sun,
it was easy and made sense,
but now we just look over the fence,
at other loves that have made things work,
we may grab hands and say were certain,
but as we around us begins to fall the curtain,
separating our yards,
throwing into the air all 52 cards,
grabbing and screaming at the air,
I do not dare, try and break the steel curtain,
and through the holes I can see her smile,
who knew it would be here and gone so fast,
looking back on the past,
it was a love that couldnt last.

Now every time I see,
lovers saying "I'll never leave",
I get a butterfly forced in my tummy,
it pulls oot its money,
and buys a beer,
flapping around drunk and insecure,
making me stumble and run,
and listen as the song is sung,
making the new songs sound blue,
I miss that simple love,
a love that's new.
I wrote this a year ago...I think it ends a little wonky, but I also think its badass nonetheless...I want to be in love again, but I dont want to go through the whole beginning, I just want to grab a ******* the street and kiss her and ask her in French if we could fall in love, but that would be creepy...plus the beginning is usually the best part, right?...right? girls, they **** me.
Bella donna are you smiling?
let me hold you tight,
and take away your pain tonight,
as friends is fine,
I'm so **** cheesy I know you don't know what side of the line,
you are leaning towards today,
because I'll always chase you,
a hopeless romantic born this way
even if you aren't mine,
just smile,
I'll stay longer than the expected while,
run from me for you,
but don't run because you have to,
there is no protecting me with your back,
so smile,
because kid I swear by the moon and the sun,
you look so much better with one
Alright so yea...kinda lame..but I do hope whoever is reading this one does smile, because even though I dont know you...I know you do look better with one, and just for kicks..I'll smile too.
Telling myself to start afresh,
but change and I could never mesh,
who can? I say alloud,
to shake this and I need to feel proud,
to my parents and my ghosts,
I need to be the host,
instead of being just another guest,
start afresh,
leaving before I know,
but still feeling stupidly low,
what to do when you need to start anew?
guess I'll pack my bags.
I have to close this chapter in the book,
it doesnt matter how it will read or how it will look,
because even the worst memories get brighter,
as age gets dimmer like a dying lighter,
right meow it will be looked at as a year for hate,
a year to commiserate,
maybe a year to accept the growth in me,
or a time I was most free,
it was a year for love,
or maybe it was just all of the above,
but that's every year I suppose,
just like every poet rhymes,
and has pros,
every year makes me happy,
and every year makes me feel down in the dumps,
its a just a game,
"Of streaks and slumps"
so here's to the next year
of happiness and fear,
love and anger,
thrashing and quiet,
raises up glass to my friends I have and havnt met yet
Lets all make a bet,
to be have good days and bad,
so that next New Years,
there will be something to be a had
I'm pretty terrible with themed poems, and I usually try to avoid them...the streaks and slumps is in quotation marks because its something my father(sjr1000, his stuff puts my stuff in a cannon and blows it oot of the water) says for everything from life to basketball...Happy New Years everybody, I wish I could actually have a drink with all of you, instead of a vitual one...
what the hell, this is good enough right?
I see you,
In greater conversations
And small
Talks,
Lost in time,
But,
Weighted in a reality,
That the years
Exist,
Through small lines,
Near your eyes
Are histories,
That most miss,
I see you,
In stanzas of songs,
Reminding you
Of home,
Nights of sweat and smoke,
Paired with a hopeful abandon,
Of living forever
But praying for death
By
Their kiss,
I see you,
In prose and rhymes,
Of books upon books,
With eyes heavier than
The pride,
You wish you saw in your father's,
The legs sore,
Because you forgot what it's like
To not try to run,
I see you,
In the moments,
In the
In between,
The indescribable
Deep breath photographs
That make up the flashes
Of phone calls and razors edges
On linoleum,
With Fate's scissors
Being put back in the box,
I see you,
Through the hidden smiles,
That convey a sense of mystery,
Forcing my uncontrolled
Outbursts,
To see what other
Smirks and eye rolls
That even you are surprised
When they are uncovered,
Like the gaunt archeologist
I treasure them,
And put them on display
At my memories museum,
I see you,
In the days
You are away,
When shirts and the sounds
Of morning coffee contemplations
Are the only things
Keeping me sane,
I see you,
In future momentary messages,
And past years pudding proof,
That with all the moments,
Yet lived,
That
Will let me,
See you.
Phone a ringing,
first time since yesterday as the day  was a gleaming,
my life isn't straight,
and I don't want to wait,
but keeping me here isn't a house,
its a girl that laughs like a mouse,
wishing to take it all away,
I choke and say,
goodbye and hang it up,
bags a packed and cant burn no fire,
I'm a terrible liar,
when I say goodbye,
because how can one be good,
the word is used and misunderstood,
you called in a time of need,
and I was to tired to say what was right,
phone a ring, first time since yesterday,
when all you wanted me to say,
was **** them, and you are the one that makes me ok.
Going back to that empty house is my biggest fear,
walk in the door and everything gone,
and no cigarette smoke to make everything clear,
with no best friend and no running water, this isnt real its a con,
it has to be,
I'll pack as fast as I can just to get out to sea,
leave my small town and just leave,
but its never so simple for packing takes time,
and I'll tell myself everything will be fine,
but this anxiety is a stone in the bottom of my stomach,
that never stops rolling,
this is no home anymore just a doorway,
to a place that I can not stay,
so I'll run away as far as I can,
and all the memories from the past month from my mind I'll ban,
look back someday and think they wore better,
but by then happiness will hopefully be in my grasp or in within reach,
because I'll be serenading girls who dont know what I'm saying,
at the beach.
I'll take off and look on my biggest small town and feel sad.  Just because nostalgia is a hell off a drug.
Bing.

I plant a kiss that rolls of her lips,

Bing.

I want to chug this drink of love, but she is only giving sips,

Bing.

Sad eyes meet each other,

Bing.

But a hicky staring at me is from another,

Bing.

I plant one more,

Bing.

Hoping to make her lips sore,

Bing.

A rip in the real,

Bing.

The dance on the dead,

Bing.

She says she needs to walk away

Bing.

Or at least thats what I thought she said,

Bing.

I can't change the past,

Bing.

Cant change anyway.

Bing.

There is nothing either of us can say,

Bing.

This is the end of my day.
Bing.

Bing.

Bing.
She did end up driving away,Wrote when 20 (now 23), didn't like it too much back then but now I like the simplicity of it and the Bing from car door still haunts me.
More I write,
aboot her,
it might make her real.
When I write I feel closer to someone who doesn't exist.
I messaged with words that sound written down,
they were,
got a new courage that has been found,
I didnt trail off, but the world lost it's sound,
who knew?
I guess you would had to have if it really made sense,
trying to appreciate his recompense,
It's cloudy and I hear the rhymes,
but that doesnt take care of all the I'm fines,
I hear it and want to hug you,
so wrapping in written syllables,
I try to believe in miracles,
hoping that you can see the prayers coming out of my head,
when you saw my smile instead,
calling me your best friend,
Sending songs you'll forget,
but I bet you'll feel at home,
so I'll send them along with a phone,
full of mysteries that will plague us both.
Don't dare to say you miss me the most,
because I raise my coffee in toast,
that you'll be happy tomorrow,
and at least smile today,
spoken with fiery words in sentences that arent coherent,
So i guess I'll tuck in my shirt to see that smirk,
and remain in adherence,
as my poem fades away,
and I'll sign off with a tackle and a dance,
and thank God again for poetic miles,
and happenstance.

I hope you feel better.
She is gone,
I should have stayed with the song,
but i couldn't love so long ago,
now I hear ******* and go,
why do networks exist?
if not to feel bad for our sins o' list?
I am falling asleep to your picture,
but like a useless lecture,
you will ignore it,
so **** this ****,
I'll send messages saying I am sorry,
but I would have better luck turning air into gold in a quarry,
a simple line,
that my life depends on the line,
it's ok
I'm sorry.
He says good morning and sits alone,
She sits surrounded by people but feels alone,
He checks his phone,
And smiles,
She is thinking aboot the miles,
But they forget,
He has nothing set,
She has everything but still feels upset,
And they havnt even met,
He has regrets he can't forget,
She takes a drag of a cigarette
Another day is passing,
He feels everything massing,
She feels done,
But looks at her kids to feel the sun,
He's going down a dead end street,
She is cleaning to a beat,
And they are both going a hundred miles,
To the end of meanwhiles,
That should be real,
He looks with lonesome eyes at every meal,
She's trying to remember what it means to feel,
They will not meet,
But still they smile all the same,
This show will end lame,
But it started with an alright scene
Yesyes I know I used the last line before, but ****** I love it haha..
I'm in love with a 33 year old..
His keyboard destroyed the sidewalk,
Left ideological lines of chalk,
Deciding to discover the one true song,
That makes every soul smile,
He travels from east to west,
Talking with the worst,
And the best,
Doing ******* with drummers,
That are due on stage,
Asking them what song is a miracle?
Then writing them on beer stained pages,
The sumo while singing did that,
He bought the beer,
And they only talked in song,
(they didn't know what they had said till the morning)
He searched through the gutters,
And every disco he was there,
Asking freaks and cutters,
Never finding the one song,
It's been a while since he was home,
How long?
The haze of yesterday's drugs and memories that don't belong to him,
But the search continues,
He ends up learning it all, folk, techno, and blues,
It was in Reno when he said the wrong words,
And a man shot him,
Just to watch him die,
He got to see,
That his dream will never be,
It's not exactly the end,
As time began to bend,
A door that opens to,
Millions of record players,
In layers,
by the billions,
A familiar tune begins to play,
The best song.
I'm thinking aboot tweaking the ending, what do you think dear reader?
What's in store, For the used up *****, Washed up with no dignity to show, But there was no way to know, Because they started brilliant and bright, But now, its clawing in darkness searching for a scrap of light, They had the world at the ready, With a dream that's forever and steady, But courses change from time to time, Go back a few years and see the sign, They never had a chance, Their life deemed a tragedy in a hypnotist trance, They had all the tools, To make art and words again cool, who's to know if they will turn around again, But It might be too late to make things right, So check on me again tomorrow night.
Stupidly depressing but this was a night a few months ago my badassery failed me and had to write it down.. almost considered not posting it or changing the title...but ***** it right?
Dear my hopeful tomorrow,
I walk the streets during the day and during the night,
for you to take away my sorrow,
its hidden but still there,
and I feel you kiss me with rain in the air,
time and people move slow here,
like they know the date but forgot the year,
so I keep the headphones pressed in my ear,
wondering yet smiling, how did I get here,
tomorrow will be beautiful I say,
as the clouds and rain tell me you're going to stay,
I can dance with a memory,
but feeling down and low,
I smile as I hold my hand oot,
and ask like a geek for you to dance,
my hopeful tomorrow
It was aboot ten miles away from your fate,
when Taco bell and pigs decided to gang up,
and you didnt realize it till it was too late,
Oh, you knew what you had did,
trying to pour back what is already drank,
like winning the lottery, only to realize there is no money in the bank,
The Mormon Virginia City had struck again,
and took me down to a feeling of a non-man,
where the screaming, the anxiety and the screaming anxiety all met,
the moment you realized you lost the bet,
between you, the devil, the universe, that one friend, the boogy man, God, and the lady down at the farmers market,
you are an easy target,
with a tough bullseye,
and a sly,
liar's smiling lips,
it wasnt till that cold floor touched you,
and your mind's lack of institutional control,
had been realized,
life had surmised,
that the chances you had were faulty tests.

Big John had taken your car with vanity plates,
a joke you want to tell your mates,
but realize the build up is all wrong,
he was the picture of a folk song,
but withoot the music and any good lyrics,
a tow truck mentioned in poems you have never heard,
telling him to hold onto that paper you signatured,
"You're going to famous like everyone else when they go?"
"I wont, but  I'll be nice in the poem everyone will know"
He laughed and kicked you out.

A new song that has a ****** tune,
starts to sound nice soon,
and you will appreciate it by your life's noon,
rough memories turn into life lessons, that turn into rough memories,
but you dont know you are in an ocean till you passed some seas,
so you drive away from the  town that built the great ****,
with a face of weather, guilt, and an unknown nostalgia for the future.
"Left on vacation, came back on probation"

Yes I invented "signatured" to make it flow, still badass though...think aboot adding onto it, specially the ending..what do you think dear reader?
I really do have my moments of guilt,
But also too afraid to lose what we have built,
Are you playing a game, and I don't know the position?
Or is this a transition to something great,
And night I'm alone and it's myself I hate,
But when I wake up to a clenched phone,
still smiling about the dream of me and you,
And a bench,
It, like the day, has been renewed,
So should I stay selfish and unflinching,
Even though the protests and picket signs,
Are crossing over to my mind,
Or realize,
That I never want to have a day,
Where I can't say,
Good morning, and I won't leave,
No matter what come,
And I am here to stay.
Maybe we both need to hear that for once in our lives,
Someone isn't leaving.
I was thinking of putting the last two lines in the notes...what do you think dear reader?
I see you in
Girls on the bus writing in notebooks,
With notes,
Only their soul will understand,
In walks,
With music flickering to the street,
Lights and street lies,
The beats with my steps,
I see you in storm clouds,
Sliced by layers of light,
Through anxiety fights,
With attacks coming from places unknown,
Surrounded with an armor of well sown,
In dances too songs you never
Wanted to listen to,
Yet here we are,
The clouds became rain,
The anxiety has passed,
The song has changed,
The cord has been pulled,
And the stop is ahead,
I'm home,
And I still see,
You.
Woke up early,
Put on the work outfit
brushed my whites pearly,
Left my backpack at the stop,
Booked it back,
Found my pack,
Reached in my pocket to grab my pen,
Found it had exploded,
What then!?
Boss doesn't respond,
And I just need to be at a pond,
Not thinking about where I am going,
Not thinking about what I will sow,
A easy day would be nice,
To much to think, but does entice,
Just need to be at that lake,
Need to be at that parking garage,
But I am in traffic watching the clock,
What else can this day bring?
A ring on my phone and I'm not answerin,
Boss leaves a voicemail blarin,
Ignored it till I got there,
Walked in with a blank stare,
Wonderin' when life will be fair,
Changin' somethin,
Thinking aboot nothin',
Getting that carpal tunnel,
Then go to sleep,
Trying to shut my mind off to answers I know I can't seek,
Guess it's just another day in the week,
So I try to focus on the music and the beat,
****,
I don't know what else to say,
Cept that it's only ******* Monday.
Written at three different times during three weeks, so i apologize if it's a little disjointed
The doctrine lines,
The white brick walls,
Coffee creeps,
We still drink,
Our tastes have just changed,
Who took the last of the ******* sugar?
It's been empty for weeks,
But mainstays stay, mainly,
Another 24 hours,
Some look less,
Another victim of violence visitation,
Rattling sign, the wind makes it's appearance,
We made it,
Johnboy the ****** tells aboot,
His momentum,
Taking his mom oot to dinner,
He wore his tattoos on his face,
One cheek said sin, the other, ner,
Shakey Sam comes every meow and then,
Saying nothing has changed again,
Lights are flickering,
While Jesus Jane is on another rant,
You know, aboot Jesus and whatnot,
Atheist Jocoby just groans,
The coffee is a bit burnt,
So is my tongue,
New cats, alley cats,
Dogs and birds,
I couldn't tell you which one I am,
Emergency alarms a buzzing all around,
We just turn down the sound,
As it's another go round,
to speak,
I'm James and I'm an alcoholic,
Hi James,
Turn over turn on,
Hold hands with scumbags turned saints,
All because of the fire we got from a drink,
A smoke,
A burnt down life turned to building,
We hug once again,
And step ootside,
Open door policy,
And fire in the sky is there waiting,
Some run,
Some cry,
Shakey Sam wonders aloud,
Will his dealer deliver,
****** Johnboy calls his mom,
Jesus Jane prays,
And Atheist Jocoby drives away,
I put the sign back on the door,
And make a new ***,
I want to hear that story,
Of how that newcomer once got shot,
By a disgruntled **** in San Francisco bay,
At least I don't need a drink today.
"It's end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine"
I put off writing this,
For then it becomes,
Real,
Like a scared kid with a,
Shadow in the room,
I chose to hide from it,
But pictures of pieces,
Still loom,
The surround sound sad songs,
Have all started rhyming the same,
And the soliloquies have all gone
Silent,
I'm just trying to be happy for you,
But even when thoughts drift away,
The feelings linger,
Crooked parkway signs,
And certain looks,
In young lovers eyes,
Sounds,
Bring it all back,
It is real,
And I'm just trying to be happy for you,
Memorial officials to weddings,
In dances of words,
No one,
But you,
Will understand,
Promises of undone cigarettes,
With entwined mountain town dreams,
And names like June,
Prayers in a house that reads,
"Isnt death always at a funeral"
We will move on from fantasy and foreplay,
Because It is real,
And,
I will be happy for you tomorrow,
Today,
I just need to be sad.
Sympathetic empathas saying words,
That are read from a script,
No one knew how to write,
It's early and cars,
Driving to,
Another paid bill,
Or whatever Thomas said,
Expierences fulfilled by fuel,
Maybe they aren't driving,
Or drinking,
might just be,
making babies in the,
Basement,
Or whatever Keats said,
Distantly dancing,
To kindergarteners and,
cancer patients,
Just another Thursday,
With mystic music,
Lofting around,
The empty dance halls,
Falling up,
With Christopher Robbins,
To the stars,
The bus is on time
Or whatever Dylan said.
Bathed in darkness and blue light from the monitor,
I realized I loved you,
danced with the black and integrated in ink,
I realized I loved you,
it wasnt until tonight when I say on my bed,
I realized I loved you,
when I held my breath during every pause,
I realized I loved you,
you are far away, but I watch the moon as you do and at that moment,
I realized I loved you,
I wanted to say it to you but the words slink and slide like my tongue has turned to sand,
I realized I loved you,
holding hands with my own fate and accepting the fact it happened,
I realized I loved you,
and I am alright with that.
I am not much of a pros or repeating one line guy but I thought I would give it a try...I havnt een on so I will try to catch up to everyone's badssery that I have missed! I hope you, my dear reader, enjoy this poem.
Goodnight my distant movie,
Playing some ****** horror flick on repeat,
With the smell of some bar and meat,
Hanging,
The morning was quiet
And I gave up the fight in it,
So time to put it away with a dusty painting,
And go to sleep.

Goodbye my far away rhythm,
Dancing entwined with separate together mythdom
But always too far to touch
It isn't much,
But my dreams are a place to visit
So time to go put the music on,
And go to sleep.

Goodbye my recent moon,
Sung under crossed stars,
with an unexplained tune,
Beautiful but with scars,
I'll smile from afar
So time to put the globe away,
Knowing it's ok
Not being the Earth.
I saw,
a man in a wheelchair,
carrying,
a stepladder.
What was he trying to get to?
Lightning past the wells Fargo building,
Central and pima,
The build up is always stronger
Than the break apart,
Cozy houses showing lives that we can always fantasize about,
Smells of rain,
Tastes like electric feels,
Clouds of vapor play with the fears of yesterday,
Were all underneath something,
Because we don't know what else to do,
It's more of a drizzle,
But the lightning pays no mind,
Reflective headlights bounce back thoughts,
The road is barely wet,
And the skyline seems to know it,
It's a good feeling,
Watching that lightning,
Maybe someone else,
Is fantasizing about,
That cozy house too.
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