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 Nov 2012 the disappeared
dj
Tom
 Nov 2012 the disappeared
dj
Tom
Everyone is a joke
Says the clown

Her mother has lung cancer
Crack a joke
He's crying because I bullied him
Crack a joke
He killed himself a week later
Crack a joke

Hysteria
Loud blowhard laughter
Bulging blood-shot tear-filled eyes
Butterflies eating your intestines-

Serious nothing.
Everyone's always your plaything
You say it's because you're Albanian.
Male.
Because you just-dont-care.
Because we're all stupid.
Hypersensitive.
That's a cop out-

I think,
You're just a clown.
I wanted to post his last name in the title ... decided against it.
 Nov 2012 the disappeared
Tatiana
January,
was too cold that year,
far, far, too cold.
Light snow on the ground
crunched beneath,
my young, aching, feet.
Seven,
that's all I need to say,
far, far, too young.
To deal with pressure
that always comes,
with painful, bitter, loss.
Grandpa,
why did you have to go,
far, far, too soon.
I knew you so well
and im missing you,
with my quiet, breaking, heart.
Memory,
why do you fail me now,
far, far, too quick.
I can hardly remember
your gentle face,
I saw every, waking, day.
Today,
hopefully you are not,
far, far, away.
I hope you see me
grow up in this world,
from sweet, Heaven, above.
January,
was too cold that year,
far, far, too cold.
Light rain started to fall
and I cried out,
Grandpa, I miss you.
We will all die alone.
It is a simple fact of life.
Beings, human or not, die alone.
But I don't want to be alone, not even for an instant.
Not even for that one instant in which I die, in which I am gone.
I've never been alone, truly alone. Sure, I've had the house to myself.
But I had the phone, and I had the computer, and I had my books and the cat.

It's not death I'm scared of. I have years, and I don't believe that one just ends. There has to be something more. But that's for another day.
I'm not too scared of what comes after death, in all honesty.
Whatever shall happen to me shall happen and there is nothing I can do to change whatever it is.
If I became convinced of any specific deity's existence I would not pray to them. I would not change who I am, only to change the results that come from who I am.
I believe in personal growth.
I believe in the perfection of self.
I believe in meditation
and I believe in love.
Hello October
Can we be friends?
I felt alone in the summer,
it was all pretend.
Now I miss the stars
and I miss the trees
I miss the feeling love gave me.
It's not hopeless, no.
A hero is coming,
please don't let this be
just another fantasy.
Hello October,
I'm glad we're friends.
I love seeing Autumn life again.
 Nov 2012 the disappeared
K Mae
My leaves have fallen
Only Stars remain
**Illuminate cold darkness
nor·mal
an adjective
/ˈnôrməl/ 

conforming to a standard
usual
typical
or expected


a word she keeps on running after
all she ever want to be

a person free from physical or mental disorders
fat sad old she is
confused moody she can be
mind heart full of dysphoria
loneliness and longing some of it may be

A line at right angles to a given line or surface
she has no angles only in curves and circles
she looked
a form a surface she longly hate

I am not normal she screamed
a thought she already knew intimately

When will I ever be?
Should I be, should we be, and how
these questions are running
through her head as she cries
There was talk of exploring
                         empty lots
                 until the sun came up
And laying dotted lines
                         on empty maps until
                  We found ourselves new homes
With softer beds and warmer sheets

Make it as far as frozen streets--
       decide to paint it black
                         when
             We've run out of red
          Our hands are getting chapped
                         and

We've been running ourselves dry
Out here beneath polished winter skies
Then right before
          our hazy, crossed out eyes
Come falling
           snowflakes from the clear
Think they must be the
           first five of the year
And lately, I swear all we get 'round here
Are busted plans and second tries

The chips are falling
    so let's cash our winnings
out and sup on underpinnings found
as tacit answers start to drift

As tacit answers start to drift
     the question's seeding up
     the frozen ground

And rougher textures make for traction
       so I'll get a grip and count
out snowburnt seconds
     'til we find the map to another
      point of black.
Another not-so-new one. I wrote this one about a year before today's posting date.
Time goes by
Days drift away
Moments pass on
Though we wish them to stay
 Nov 2012 the disappeared
Q
The girl who was glass
with her heart torn in two
was afraid she would shatter
if she just dared to choose.

She cried till she slept--
it was all that she did,
until the day came along--
until she ran and she hid.

Her choice never made,
her mind still in thought.
As the townspeople worried,
she was found and then caught.

'Your fight has been fought,
your battle is done,'
the townspeople called
as the banged on their drums.

She wept and she moaned
as they yelled in her ears.
They told her to choose
but it would bring out her fears.

She said one single name
just one single word.
The townspeople gasped
and then came the birds.

They pecked at her eyes
and cracked her glass skin.
Then she knew that her fears
would finally win.

The girl who was glass
with her heart torn in two
was afraid she would shatter
if she just dared to choose.
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