I have a longing to meet someone whom I've never met before
I will miss her
Even though i've never met her
Which is so confusing
Because I've grown so attached to her
Over video calls and text messages
Midnight confessions and our little fan girl obsessions
I miss her
Even though I have only known her months
I feel as though I have known her my whole life
Even though an ocean separates us
I feel as though she is right next to me
Even though we only speak through phone calls and texts
I feel like she is my best friend

I used to eye her more than books.

She had good looks
and for me
in the library
she killed the dullness of patience
the stifled air of silence
with her lips' hidden smile
that was quite a diversion
from pouring over yellowed pages
all the while.

In the garden I sought my chance
but she resisted any advance
telling me it's not her
I needed to be in my mind
but a job I must find
for couldn't be raised a family
merely loving in the library.

I think she gave me love
when I needed a job
but by the time I earned the bread
she was already married.

Once I thought of her as Miss Giving
but now as I look back
I have serious misgiving.

Dear Mom,
    Right now I am listening to you read a book to Po and I just realized how much I appreciate you.  And I don't think I tell you enough that I do or that I love you enough.  You give me so much and I am so grateful for that.
     I'm so grateful for everything you have ever given me.  So thank you so much.  Thank you for making different voices when you read.  Thank you for letting me cry about stupid stuff I shouldn't care about.  Thank you for supporting me in everything I do and believe in .  Thank you for being my mom and my best friend.
    I've learned over the past couple of years that not many people are gifted with great people like you in their lives.  And I wish they did because you are an absolutely amazing person.  I wish that everybody had an amazing person they could go to.  And I have been gifted with you in my life.  So thank you.
                                                                                i love you with all my heart,
                                                                                                            H

PS~ i know you may not believe me but you are absolutely gorgeous when you smile:)

S,
     I'm sorry.  I don't think you understand how horrible I feel.  I just don't love you like that.  I feel terrible.  Because your such an amazing person, but we just don't work together.  I like to take things slow where you like to try things out.  I like to sit and have conversations with strangers where you like to sit and read a book.  I like hanging out with my friends on the weekends where you like staying home playing video games. And it *****.  Because I truly, deep down, deeply care about you.  And you're so sweet and you make weird but hilarious comments and you're great to have around.  Which made this so much harder.  Because when I wanted to be friends I truly meant it.  But I know that you're going to avoid me.  It happens every time.
      So I'm Sorry that you lost the opportunity to become friends with me. I'm sorry that I hurt you, and I'll never admit to it but I ask all my friends that talk to you if you're okay.  I'm sorry that you heard me talk for hours about my anime and my current music obsession.  And I'm sorry that I have anxiety and depression and I disconnect sometimes, and i'm sorry that i have to be alone to reconnect.
     You're an amazing and beautiful human being and you deserve so much more than i could ever give you.  Thank you for that Mulan marathon and pans of junk food we made.  Thank you for making me life until I was crying.  Thank you for you, for being your true authentic you.
                                                                                            -H

It is okay to let go of someone for yourself
Yes they might be hurt
And you might be hurt too
But sometimes you need to be alone to glue your pieces back together
No one else can do that for yourself except you
You shouldn't feel bad about it either
Because you should be your top priority
Take care of yourself
And after that take some more time to take care of you
And maybe you will be strong enough to take care of you and someone else
But it is okay
To let go to someone because you aren't whole
Because you shouldn't have divide your half into pieces
Because you should always be happy
And sometimes you're not with other people

It's going to be okay
It's okay to be scared
It's okay to be stressed
You will get through this
I understand that this is hard
And this is terrifying
But you will get through this
You are such a strong person
And everything you believe, think, and are is valid
You deserve to be the real and beautiful you
Things are gonna get hard at times
But things will work out in the end
It's going to be okay
You are an amazing person
And I am glad that you have survived every hardship and battle
And I am so grateful to be speaking to someone
Who is strong and true to themselves
So thank you
Everything is going to be okay
As long as you are willing to fight
And get through this long battle
Everything will be okay

Toast
Such a beautiful taste
So crunchy
So tasteless
Toast
Such a beautiful word
So bland
So bleh
Toast such a beautiful thing