Sorry to bother you again,

But I broke down today... I didn't
Expect to, I just... it started raining...

And he looked at me, with disappointment and concern.
He made me promise not to lie. Not to say "I'm okay."

That made me cry more.

How does he do this to me? I've never felt this much.
Ever.
He told me he loved me and always will,
Even if something happens, it'll never change.

It took all of my strength to speak, just to ask,

"How can you be so sure?"

I believed in his reply.
And it truly hope he's right.


                                                                                                Please aid me in this fight with sadness,
                                                                                                             *~Kestrel~

You want to know?
You really want to know...?
Well then, you tell me.
Because I have no clue.
When,
Where,
How
Something this important happens.

Are you trying to **** me off?!

Why didn't you tell me?
It's as important to me as it is to you,
Even if its not "ma thang"...

Do you not trust me?
Or are you just an idiot...

I'll explain more tomorrow...

It just so happens,
Your pulse reminds me of music.
Or is it the other way around?
A constant beat.
Your voice: The melody.
Every move, every kiss,
I feel it get faster
faster
faster

And with faster music,
Comes more ****** dancing.

stopitstopitstopiticanthandlethissituationanymore

This is saying goodbye
To the flow of words,
The music without melody,
That offered me solace.
It doesnt work anymore.
The way to vent, let
My emotions escape.
Now, it makes them more painful.
The way to tell him I love him
In my own unique way.
But I cant explain how much I love him.

This is goodbye to my pen and notebook.

This is goodbye to poetry.

At least for now.

I've been scared for a while.
Been counting down the days.
Three is still unlucky.

What if what happened was it?
The cause.
It changed something.
It seems like everything I say
Changes something.

I'm sorry.
I tried not to worry,
But I broke.
These thoughts are allspillingout
andIdon'tknowwhattodoand...
I just need to breathe.

Twelve days before the Third.
And I ******* up.
I don't know if that seemed
Like an argument,
But it scared me.





Dear Diary,
            Its been a while since I wrote to you. Its hard because you never reply... Even when I ask for advice. Putting that aside, I just need to know... Why is it always Three? I need that to change. I finally feel stable, and if Three takes that from me... I'll be lost. I know I might cause it this time, but even so, please please please keep Three at bay.

                                                                                                  Wish you well, please respond just this once.
                                                                                                                  *~Kestrel~

"Every girl marries her father"

My mother always told me this.



You need to stop apologizing.
I've already forgiven you.
Yet you wont stop.

You are just like him...

Along with bringing happiness,
Love also brings pain,
And gives you the ability to cause pain.
Otherwise, whats the point?
Do they really love you if you can't hurt them in some way?