I've been thinking...
I need answers.
Reasons.
It may be true that you open up around me, but...
You still seem closed off.
I know there's more.
I can see it.
It makes me think you don't trust me.

I tell you a lot.
I've cried in front of you.
And I've revealed my biggest secret
That I thought you'd reject me for.

I need a reason not to think so.
A reason to believe that you aren't
S.l.o.w.l.y backing away.
Abandoning me.

You say "I love you" often enough,
But that's not what I need.
I need a random confession of whatever is bothering you.
Just let it out!
I need you to stop worrying and feel worried about for once!
Because I do worry.

I used to do this
And I've healed tremendously.
It might have been worse
Considering I would tell friends out of nowhere
"I want to **** myself"
But I still let it out.

Even if its not as bad for you,
Or if it is,
It helps to be heard.
And I've given you multiple reasons to speak.

I love you with my heart and soul,
But frankly, I'd like to punch you
In the face sometimes.
Just thought you should know.

Are we fading?
I keep getting bad feelings,
But I wonder...
Is this just an aftermath
Of my previous worries?

You seem more tense,
Closed off...

I'll give you space,
But I'm worried. About you.
About what will happen.

I can't see the future,
But you can warn me.

And you can tell me.

I'm like you in that way.
I care more about others than I do myself.
And you are no exception.

Please tell me if you are alright?

I don't care how easy it is to learn,
I care about the sound.

Like the drums,
It's a beat keeper,
Yet has it's own melody.

Deep Pulse
Pulse
Pulse
Resonating
From these simple strings.

And there's so many hearts to play.

Building walls gets tiring, you know?

I've had lots of practice, building
Brick, cement, sheet rock,
All types.
But they all come crashing down.

Someone must have started a
Demolition company...
They RUIN MY WORK!

I quit.
I just cant build anymore...
My hands are calloused,
My head is a jumbled mess,
And I have built the same wall
Too many times to count.

Because you knocked it down.

Since the connection, we've only progressed.
Going further, Knowing more.
Telling is difficult, because of these emotions,
And trying is all we can do.

I've cried around you,
Because of you,
More than I ever have.
Happiness, Confusion, Sadness, Hurt.
Not even that!
I've cried just because I needed to, for no reason.

You have been here for me,
Told me so and made promises.
Held me while i sobbed and left tear stains on your shirt,
Whispered comforting words.

You said you were sure you'd never
Stop loving me.
But I'm scared.  We're so young.
How can you be so sure?

That was my question,
Still is.

"I just am."

I really hope this is real.
I never want this to end.

somanywordsiwishicouldsay.frozen

The mumbling, silencing aspect
Of this Dark Depression;
Nothing can heal me.

I've managed to hold it off,
Just barely long enough.
It's faster than me.

It makes me angry.
It makes me sad.
But also completely
And utterly
Consumed.