I should stop
Procrastinating
Cause it'll be a pain
Later.
But there's so many other things
That I'd rather do
Though I'm procrastinating on something that I
Enjoy.
Shoot.
I **** at this.

So many days
Are they numbered?
Of course
Is the obvious answer
But is it that simple?
I'm curious how the days were
Before time
Before creation
The eternity
Before eternity
No gadgets
To measure time
No light
No darkness
Nothing
Feelings?
Nope
Senses?
Nope
ANYTHING?!
No.
How were days then?
How can we measure a day
Split into smaller numbers
Seems smaller
Yet larger
We can't move through time
Because we first need to move through a second
But to move through a second
We need to move through a half-second
And to move through a half-second
Well
You know.
But somehow we do.
It's impossible
According to logic
So how do we do it?
Time is relative
So in a time without anything
We have an eternity all at once
Forever
In our minds
Within a second
Infinitely old
Yet infinitely young
Infinitely mature
With no maturity
Our feeble human minds cannot fathom eternity
Or can we?
You tell me.
I have time.
...
An eternity, in fact.

I don't know you
You've said that I don't before
So much I'll never know.
I'm not pushing you away
Am I?
I hope you know
I tell you more than anyone
Even if it doesn't seem like it.

Lingering thoughts in the back of my head
Temptations attacking at times that I dread
Get out of me, out of my head
If not, be careful
Of the places you tread

Previously
I've only written for a website
Now I'm writing
for myself.
It's different,
Uncensored.
It's reminders for me.
About things I struggle with
Daily.
Where I know
I should be.
So that I cannot
Convince myself
Of a tempting lie.

How blessed we are
To have, each other
You hold us all, close
By your side

These words
Ringing in my head
I didn't write them first
But I wanted to share how
They make me feel

I feel hopeful
Hopeful at the prospect of being
At anyone's side
At God's side
At your side

I feel blessed
Blessed to know God
And those who love him
And almost more so
Those who don't.

And I am at peace
The most powerful being
Ever
Is on my side
Loves me
And wants to work through me.

I am humbled
Because I can be nothing else.
I'm smaller than an atom to him
Yet he loves me infinitely
Passionately
He forgives me my sins
And he calls me friend.

It makes me want to cry.

An initiation
And suddenly, everyone has your back
24/7
This is a beautiful thing
It seems
So why
Doesn't it happen in church?

Baptism
Is an amazing thing.
It renews
Restores
And rebirths.
It's an initiation into the kingdom
So why don't we do it the way
Gangs do?

I'll always try to
I'll bend my schedule
But I can't always
Break it.
But I'll try.
Call me.
Text me.
Email me.
Throw a brick through my window
With a note.
Contact me somehow.
I'll do what I can.
Because I want to be
In Jesus' gang.
And I want to be there
For you.