I do not know
How I feel.
To be  honest,
It really doesn't matter.
I don't care if I'm
Hurt
Suffering
In pain.
It matters more
That I keep others
From feeling
That way.
Therefore,
My own feelings should come
Last.

Here they come
The tears
...
Took them long enough.

You say you forgive me
And I believe you
But
The problem is
I cannot forgive myself.
So I can't stop apologizing.
Sorry.

Even when I am trying
To tread carefully
I ***** up.
In fact
I made it worse.

Was a single tear
Really all I could spare?
I feel like ****
I'm a ******* *******
Only one?!
What is my problem.
Sitting on my high ******* horse
Feeling glad that I don't judge others
Like some christians
When I do it anyway.
Feeling bad
And all I can bring
Is ONE tear...
****.

I am a fool.
An idiot.
A worthless *******
At times.
I pretend to be
Deep
But I'm not.
My life is easy
I have very few worries.
And I hurt others
Easily.
Careless words
...
This *****.

Sometimes I wish
That I could cry.
Sometimes I feel
Irredeemable.
Sometimes
I feel like the worst person ever.
I think...
I am.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm...
Sorry.