Sitting at a crossroad with decisions to be made, that conflicted feeling is one of the worst mindsets. A debate with yourself is the most pointless thing on earth. No matter how vast the victory, the defeat is also resting on your shoulders. So then, the question still stands. Which path will you travel? What turn do you take? Who is it that you really are, because if you don’t know, who will?

I have mixed feelings about you

Sometimes you make me smile

I want to curl up and watch a movie and just relive how uncomplicated everything used to be

But thinking about you makes me sad

I remember how we said goodbye and really meant it this time

I wonder if we will ever get that second chance

It's sad how much one person can affect your life.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes that can be positive but not always.

I can't begin to express the distain for the hold I allow people to have on my life.

I need to start living my own life.

The question is how do I start?

have you ever had someone in your life who shouldn't be?

all they do is cause you pain and endless heartache but you can't seem to say fairwell.

the time and energy spent on someone who doesn't care you exists could be used to build up your nonexistent self esteem.

what does that say about your personality?

caring about someone who doesn't give a ****?

is it inspired and kind or just utterly stupid?

I utterly hate those days where you try so hard to pretend everything is ok but nothing really is.

I haven't decided which is worse...

When everyone can tell but no one cares,

Or when no one knows and you have to pretend that much more.

Either way it reinforces why I like my isolation.

The darkness that surrounds me isn't always bad.

Sometimes it is the light that will blind you.

what's the point in trying if you're already dying*

I heard someone once say that 100% of non smokers die too.

It got me thinking, why should I go out of my way to make others happy when it makes me sad.

I try to help others when I can't help myself. The hypocrisy of my life is a crying shame.

I can't handle faking anymore, but no one wants the real me.

We're all going to die someday so nothing we do matters. Why fight to preserve life when we know its going to end someday.