my mind often wanders to a time when my thoughts weren't tainted with suicidal thoughts
before I made that first cut
before my world came crashing down
back when I was still me
now I am no one
a sad stranger wondering but forever lost
hoping to find my way back
back to a place where things made sense
back to a place filled with hope
back to a place filled with love
back to a place where I shined brightly
instead of where my light strains to flicker
to fight to keep from dying out
there is no going back to the way things were
but maybe there is a better tomorrow
one filled with acceptance
and love
and hope
for even me...

music on world off

that statement couldn't be more true

i personally believe the person who said music is universal is an idiot

if i listen to the lyrics *can i still get into heaven if i **** myself i would understand the meaning behind the question

other people can hear and "get" lyrics, but not completely comprehend them

that's why to me music is a savior i know it's tough but don't give up shows you people understand

that is how music connects people

but not everyone will connect to the same things

that's why music is my life

I was once told in order to be loved you have to love yourself I guess inspirational quotes are supposed to motivate you but that one make me wonder.

What if you don't?

I feel like there has to be someone willing to stick with you through anything.

That might just be my feeble attempt at hope, but things have to look up right?

sometimes I wonder what is worse...
saying goodbye
or leaving it to fate
so many goodbyes have been left unsaid
all of the what ifs hang in the air
but on the other hand so many goodbyes end it all
the faded promises of yesterday hang in the air
but none of that matters
because goodbyes end it all
so the hope of fate is all that's left

I never understood people who said the first cut is the worst.

That is back when you think it will help.

The ones after that signify the fact that that hope is so far gone.

The fact that nothing changes but I still continue for a temporary fix is worse.

The psyche behind my "logic" would lead you to reason that I am rapidly deteriorating into a mass of nothing.

My last shed of hope has disappeared.

I don't clearly remember the day I stopped caring about the small things.

I'm not sure when I stopped showing that stupid smile.

Or when that unconditional happiness changed to limited happiness.

No one can possibly pinpoint the exact moment when they become unhappy because it isn't just a feeling, it's a process.

The days adding makes the change more and more drastic.

The basic things start to become less basic.

I end up losing hope.

the mundane tasks set from day to day have been put in a never changing rhythm

the boringness and nothingness has overtaken everything

the depressing stupor that this life has set into has left me drifting through the motions